Tag Archives: love

The Ballad of the Arrogant Hearts

THE BALLAD OF THE ARROGANT HEARTS: VENTRICLE

Prologue Eins:

Tear it down! Break the barricade!
I wanna see what sound it makes
I hate this flavour with a passion
And I fucking hate the aftertaste!
How does it feel? How does it feel?
Well, it feels like I’m on fire!
Wake up, I know you can hear me…

~*~

I.) A Senseless Stardom And A Playwright’s Pain.
.

Bury me by the open venetian windows, where I can visit you every night

You know my anatomy like a circus act, but you turned off the spotlight

My pavement kiss tastes harsh, but the scissors accentuate my sacrifice

You deceive and desecrate me far too often, but shit, I’ll never suffice

.

Pose like a drunk pubescent actress, come on Marilyn, show some emotion

Every boy watching television shall receive your desperate transmissions

A noose of flowers and confection confessions melting on your tongue

Your affections were transgressions, but you’re so pretty when you run

.

I used to write letters and poetry, but now for you, I only write obituaries

Don’t be sorry for little orphan Annie whose cellar is her own sanctuary

I’m a vagabond, you’re a bastard child, we’re a match made in angel hell

Inferno strikes under our tangled veins and the paradise the demon sells

.

You were memorising phone numbers like it’s the digits on my credit card

If there was a prize for a comely crass drama queen, you’ll win that award

Ignorance might be your best friend, but I’ve been dating her for ten long years

It’s a violent explosion of distractions and disappointment in second gear

.

As they all say, fuck the love, we’re in this game for the fame and money

Toasting our dead hearts with cocaine and expired 20 dollar champagne

I’ll scream for help, sabotage! Please don’t murder me with pleurisy baby!

And if I cry in my sleep, then you will know that I’m still dancing from pain…

—————————————

-i-n-t-e-r-m-i-s-s-i-o-n-

—————————————

THE BALLAD OF THE ARROGANT HEARTS: PULSE

Prologue Zwei:

Make me a promise here tonight!
Love like a tidal wave
Dreamless in early graves
I never want it to be this way
The chemicals will bring you home again
This is it, when it’s done, we can say that
When it’s sudden death we fight back!

~*~

II.) Confessions Of A Mad Stranger To An Inebriated Lover.

I confess by the altar, this is my last testament and surrendering admonition

Two souls like an orchestra, and I’ll conduct this symphony of destruction

I’m the only menace to your fugitive life, a key witness and an accomplice

I got scar evidence to lock you behind diamond bars for a million years

.

You said it wasn’t a crime to feel, but the police are banging down my door

I promised I’d be just a little more sorry, but it’s just been a vulture’s chore

This turbulence in New Jersey, this fucking turbulence is beautiful for me

I may be deleterious and despondent, but your Europe eyes are a mystery

.

I can smell clashing bitter bourbon and saccharine chocolate in your breath

You sicken me, but I feel better by shutting the closet doors and drinking late

Towed away in our underwater love, and I’ll be drifting away to abyssal death

But if I escape hell, I’ll sneak back into heaven for free, so don’t close the gate

.

Don’t pay for your blessing, just grind the forest ax and damn, don’t hesitate

The big bad wolf will rend you to shreds if you swing away a second too late

Stuttering from the piercing bullet bites and the blizzard cold on your tattoos

Though I’m taking, I’m taking, I’m f-f-fucking taking back Saturday from you

.

The jagged edges of your dress are wounding me badly as we’re locked in final embrace

Weighed down and singing our tainted names under the concrete rain like a disgrace

I know I’m a stupid motherfucker, thinking that with eternal hate, I’ll never be left alone

But darling, I’ll leave the answering machine on all night, in case you decide to come home.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

cold empty mattresses and falling stars

gilded honey

cascading

over sulphur

hearts and

severed hands;

sweet like

almond milk

yet rancidly

sour like

painful lust

.

i hope i don’t

scare you off

with my talk

of dislodged

clean limbs

that i plucked

within the

undergrowth

of my ribs,

tonight, i run

.

i love the

thought of

your germane

affliction,

the shade in

your eyes

speaks like dust

through wind

and i chase

for the ocean…

.

and if i don’t

make it home

before the

horizon screams,

kiss me and

hope that

you won’t be

embarrassed

by the attention

of the moon.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

A Mad Boy’s Love Letter

(Written as a reciprocal to Sylvia Plath’s Mad Girl’s Love Song. A poor reciprocation notwithstanding, but nevertheless, carry on.)

~*~

Charm that allures in whim

A grandiose wicked scheme

Deluding myself in dalliance

Chemical love, not romance

T’was my best man, insanity

Blackness simpers arbitrary

I dream a castigated fantasy

Pray judge such not harshly

.

If both lips existed out there

Then heaven, it must be rare

If you mayn’t one so tangible

Then hell, it may be beautiful

The stars, t’were yours alone

Though you needn’t bemoan

We shall carry our revelry on

To hanging gardens Babylon

.

I promised I will return warm

And collapse in abstract arms

Yet tragedy, it reared its face

My name was already erased

I mightn’t be the thunderbird

Roaring to my springtime girl

Rather a demigod, a faded blue

Making the world drop for you

.

For nay was I a corporeal creation

I lacked in belief to conjure it long

Without you love, I would be dead

(Or was it simply all inside my head?)

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Throwing Cheap Bouquets by Juliet’s Balcony Stage

Please won’t you push me for the last time
Let’s scream until there’s nothing left
So sick of playing, I don’t want to anymore!
The thought of you’s no fucking fun
You want a martyr, I’ll be one
Because enough’s enough, we’re done!

~*~

Abandoned brains dripping on the cold spiral staircase

My crumpled train station tickets wiped them all away

The nights were as sober as 5 AM Jack on the rocks

Reset reverse repose and smash a hammer on the clock

.

You’re like a spoke in my heart, like nails through my teeth

Let’s slow down the sound of pain, ’cause you taste so sweet

I’m like the chlorine in your skin, like the poison in your cure

Maybe I’ll inject the moonshine once again just to be sure

.

You’ll never see my face in the movies as you always should

But babe it’s tough to dwell on the surface of Hollywood

Endgame of a bloodless artery, and I’m the rebel subsidiary

I’m the heart attack in your nightmares until you wake me

.

Am I confusing? Or complex? Am I the nuclear home you wrecked?

Are you the cannonball that hurtled past and broke clean my neck?

Breaths frosting over glass like a harsh blizzard in the winter

If I’m the martyr dying on a cross, then maybe you’re the sinner

.

You mixed suicide in my bloody scotch and you left me to rot

If I’m jumping off the bridge, then you’re my second thoughts

You’re the puppy crush love and I’m the old dog you put down

You hanged me by my collar in the gallows with a silent frown

.

We were screaming at each other in the most perfect harmony

If you were crying or laughing at the end of the line, I can’t see

You dosed my soul with whiskey and you sang a metal lullaby

And when I passed out from the hate, you crept out, no goodbye

.

So listen, wake the fuck up! Who the hell are you to die on me?

If you’re searching for some peace eternal, then I guess I’m sorry

I wrote your name on my mutated wrists with a blunt safety pin

And the scars on my lips won’t fade away anytime soon, darling

.

So don’t you go away now! Who the fuck are you to fall apart on me?

The razor blades in my throat won’t be swallowed with your fake sorry

This turbulent liquid passion made us crash on the tides and capsize

But if there’s a heaven waiting baby, then it won’t have a place for your lies—!

~*~

You told me think about it, well I did
And I don’t wanna feel a thing anymore
I’m tired of begging for the things that I want
I’m over sleeping like a dog on the floor
Imagine living like a king someday
A single night without a ghost in the walls
We are the shadows screaming take us now
We’d rather die than live to rest on the ground!
Shit.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Hearts on a Pendulum

~*~

DON’T RUIN A PERFECT THING

American nightmares

Counted on the blue moon

I’d leap across Atlantic

But darling, that’s too soon.

~*~

JUMP IN THE FIRE (IF IT BURNS YOU)

Spitting flames in the dark

They thought it would play

Yet those puissant sparks

Kissed back the waterway.

~*~

TRUE LOVE COMES FROM MORE THAN JUST THE HEART

A tactile tongue on necklaces

Illumined on equivocal jewels

Red rose by your grave traces

I shall return the favour in hell.

~*~

A KISS LIKE A FIRE ON PAVEMENT

Loathing has that succinct taste

Of compound ammonia valerate

You seem to love this acidic lick

Burning holes in your bloody lips.

~*~

A HAMMER THROUGH MY TEETH

I’m onerous, am I not?

A talented conniving old miser

I’m adroit, am I not?

A charming multifaceted lover.

~*~

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Vena Amoris

Your wedding ring

Is cutting off your circulation

A blue diamond bling

Accentuating infatuated poison

Your fingers as purple

As the fresh bruises on your neck

If love was an accident

You’re headed for a train wreck

A thin band of silver

Stab your heart and wish to die

Red lines on your skin

If that’s your wish darling, I will try

Consummate turns rancid

Domestic turns into souls recluse

Passion becomes acid

A battle of fists and verbal abuse

On a homely warfield

In sickness and in health alike

That vein pumps blood

But when it finally ceases beating

So will your love.

1 Comment

Filed under Poetry

Of Detestable Desires and Despicable Devotions

This isn’t fair, no
Don’t you try to blame this on me
My love for you is bulletproof
But you’re the one who shot me…

~*~

I don’t understand any of this.

All this opposite similarity, juxtaposed like faded victorian photos in a chromolithograph pendant, an elegant display of memory destruction. Your perfect contradictions. Your earnest sarcasm. Your subtle noticeability. Your intellectual nonsense. How I fell down towards the sky for you. It’s so confusing.

You’re so confusing.

You were the aspirating medicine that poisoned me into debilitation. You were the rusty nail that pierced my discoloured skin and cured my tetanus. You were the hypodermic injection of the drug that made me so high I began to hit the ground.

You were the disease that saved my life.

You were the shadows that kept me comforted as you beckoned the monsters on. You were the darkness that provided me with light at the end of the hopeless tunnel. You were the lingering dawn that never allows me to catch the faintest glimpse of sunrise.

You were black and white, respectively.

You played the professional doctor while you tore experiments down my wrists and carved notches in my backbones. You stitched my wounds shut as you proceeded to open fresh ones. You were my ravelled bandages, and you left me to bleed out.

You were the death cure that nearly killed me.

I was invincibly bulletproof until you shot me with a guillotine. You were a modern day Midas and you turned my stone heart to gold, but you stubbornly refused to touch your own coalfield chest. You were the concentrated oxygen that asphyxiated me as I inhaled your fumes to breathe suffocation.

You were the safest dangerous thrill.

You were fire, burning empires in angry hate and providing towns incandescence in softest hope. You were water, drowning cold lungs and circulating warm blood. You were earth, burying emaciated corpses underneath with moonlight requiems as efflorescent verdancy pushes upwards to greet the ode of the sun.

You were an element that can build and destroy at the same time.

You were the ministerial soldier in a war who offered me the white flag and bayoneted me in the head as I reached for it. You were the scholarly literature that emptied my mind of all knowledge. You were the coronary-inducing suspense that never left me hanging resolutely.

You were the worst kind of poetry.

You were so singularly ironic that you could cure anaemia. I wanted to explore and extricate your simple complexities, so I can finally solve it and leave your unending mystery alone. You were killing me ever so slowly, making me crave for eternal sleep, so that when I die, I can awake to life.

You were the gravity that made me float, and I can’t pull away.

You were never a singular personality. You were murderer who cries over his victims, a mad scientist reviving the patients she killed, a lunatic lover looking for some sanity in the moon. You were a compassionate sociopath, a sinful saint, a lying candour, an innocent hatred. You were a grotesque beauty, you were eternally ephemeral, you were a cruel god.

You were an impossibility.

Most of all, you were hopelessly incomprehensible. I could research the entire world, ascend above human rationale, learn relentlessly for a thousand years, and yet I can still never begin to comprehend the very thought of you. And you are clever, yes, elegantly clever and yet so barbarously sadistic, my love. You knew I wouldn’t ever understand, I was just like the rest of them, so you walked away from me without a second thought and left me. You left me hurting emotionally and physically, you left me for good, and you left me for dead.

You are despicable beyond measure, and I can never leave you.

1 Comment

Filed under Prose

Hope Above

Let the sun

Be my darling

And the moon

My eluding love

And the stars I

Stole from the

Sky, let them be

My hope above.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Strawberry Girls and Cherry-Picked Lies

I met a girl who never looked so alone
Like sugar water in your mouth lukewarm
She tied a cherry stem for me with her tongue
We fell in love and now we’re both alone
‘Cause I don’t need any more friends
And another kiss like fire on a pavement
We’ll burn it down to the end…

~*~

Strawberry girls are performing with shortcake hearts

And I just love the way that they break and tear me apart

I’m drinking poisoned margaritas for my last phone call

Drowned under the covers and on the linen blankets I fall

.

You think it’s high time for me to say goodbye and a lost eulogy

But not yet darling, ’cause I specialise in the art of disasterology

Garlands and wreaths and we sink laughing in softest lavender

Just like the bruises we kissed away and the lines we severed

.

I was always coughing madly under the influence of grey fumes

Drinking out of cholera water, wounding myself on rusted looms

But who will be the grenade that will pull that rusted stubborn pin

I’m tainted, sordid, insalubrious, love, won’t you make me clean?

.

As cold rain is beating down against the rolled-up car windows

We make believe with dulling thorns and hazy roses for hours

Thick blood starts to flow, like passing red buses on morrows

My sweetest strawberry girl, who ever knew that you were so sour?

.

Your shivering cups of coffee scald hotly more than kerosene

You’re so out of style, but you just love being so fucking mean

The boys in the club are youth raged and have new ideas stupid

And the tepid beer, like the summer air, is tasteless and arid

.

Your blossoming skin has always been flushed pink with spite

The chemicals in your brain keep your soul dissolving enough

Sitting high on an ivory pedestal, like flowers woven on a kite

You’re a bubblegum cheerleader, but chewed up and popped

.

Colliding like a suspended heart alongside patient bowling pins

Why did you adore all the mermaids if you can’t even swim?

I’ll pray to the devils and hope that they wouldn’t go and follow

For everyone took a bite out of your leftovers until you were hollow

.

The sunset is missing, hiding under hills and decaying cemeteries

Let’s bury the past under groves of pearl and burn it with gasoline

If only you’ll stop serving yourself impaled on a silver plate, please

Leave that to the cherry girls, blushing burlesque and incarnadine

.

The bullets from your back are yours to keep in bitterest memory

That golden necklace is choking you, won’t you take it off for me

Drunk on saccharine, bloated on pesticide, intoxicated in perfume

I’ll take your hand and hold it tight, strawberry girl, we’ll be home soon

.

Let’s dance a waltz and let the grass brush our ankles in diamond fields

Underwater ballerina, an angel on cloud filaments as you hum and sing

Where’s the misery, all the agony, those vultures we didn’t even need?

You’re a strawberry queen in a castle, and I’ll be your own vineyard king

.

A million heartbeats thumping quickly under the abysmal ocean floor

Making whirlpool tantrums and tidal waves crash against the shore

Lying on picnic blankets, don’t you love the way the moon looks tonight?

Scintillating mischievously as it whispers its secrets to gold starlight

.

Strawberry girl, it’s a withering world, so why don’t you come and disappear with me?

We could be resting, alone in our peaceful hell while that chaotic paradise goes crazy

Let’s fake our own deaths here and let the wolves chase, let the weeping foxes fight

Let’s die under the stars, my strawberry girl, don’t you think they look so beautiful tonight?

~*~

‘Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat
With heaven above you, there’s hell over me
You said what about us? Well, what about me?
Hang from the gallows, asleep in the rain
‘Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Bleed Out

Zero friends
Follow your voice into
A sea of crosses
And blends in with the foxes
Gold and feels like home
Under the surface
My love…

~*~

Stay on the wire

When all the foxes take

Your charm and voices

And never state their causes

Fall nevermore under

The liquid surface now

Hold on to the river inn

You’ll drown alive somehow

But, beware the cross

And the X on your face

The agony fire of the loss

And swallow razor blades

Tonight your broken legs

Will take you on south

Walk the million miles

And we’ll be bleeding out…

.

You’re so fucking cheap

Why don’t you find originality?

You’re so insipid so

Stop with the treachery

I’ll call you out when you’re

Not listening to me

Princess, your pink shame

Is out of style and banality

Drag your heart along

The pavement to soften it

And let the wolves chase

Your rancid acid shit

It hurts like hell, but I’ll

Take my grave and drink

The fall will be safer

If you don’t stop to think

It’s best if we take the

Southward hemisphere about

I’ll stifle your screaming wounds

Before we’re bleeding out…

.

But darling, don’t worry

I’ll forgive your modern rage

When you’re aching for attention

On the walls of floral beige

Do you trust how it feels?

Do you like the taste of air?

The way nails and hammers

Caress your straw doll hair?

So hold my limpid fingers

And leap with my start

Past thorns and the red couch

That keeps us both apart

And we’ll fall past the curtains

And the forest of the green

Tumble like cigarette ashes

On the drains of nicotine

We’ll abuse southern hospitality

The night is ours to steal, no doubt

And before you come and know it

I think we’re both bleeding out.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry