Tag Archives: madness

Primal Fear

I can’t escape myself
So many times I’ve lied
But there’s still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can’t control myself…

~*~

I can’t last, can’t escape

My bloodshot eyes can’t tell

I can’t love, but can hate

Cage the animal in eternal hell

.

I tried to let go of the knife

In the past, when it was dark

But the nightmare in my life

Can’t be tamed with a mark

.

I can’t last, can’t escape

My bloody hands hang limp

I can sleep but can’t wake

Burn the beast when it sinks

.

I have tried to shake off

All the voices in my brain

But the screams and scoffs

Causes an eternal migraine

.

I can’t last, can’t escape

All the blood has exited my body

I can’t fake, I can’t take

Bury the creature in the cemetery.

~*~

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one would ever change this animal I have become
And we believe it’s not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
And we believe it’s not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal…

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The Madman’s Magnum Opus

Insane is all I know right now, and my head feels demented

My nails fall out, my gums decay, before I get sedated

I choke on my teeth and swallow a few, shit, it feels hard

As they wring the spit from my eyes and again I’m a discard

So numb that I couldn’t feel the knife on my spine anymore

And I couldn’t count the tally marks screaming on the wall

Keeping track of the infinite days when the demon lets me be

And inches its fangs closer to put me out of my stagnant misery

.

Because the blood tastes more delectable when it’s not my own

As the whores that I corrupted bring my wasted body home

They don’t flinch at the maggots that they suck from my mouth

But they do protest before the chloroform hits their breathing south

No no, it’s not torture, I promise I won’t ever hurt you, my dear

I just wish to lick away all your mingling doubts and puerile fear

But don’t piss yourself, don’t soil your skin, or I’ll be very mad indeed

Behave yourself and stay sweet as hell, or you’ll die before you heed

.

But they caught me revering over one of my masterpiece creations one day

Yelling loud profanities to such beauties, that’s not a very nice thing to say

They dislocated my shoulder just trying to put my artistic hands in cuffs

And took away my beloved artworks, goddamn these useless criticising cops

So that’s how I ended up in here, living and sleeping in a filthy jail cell

With a colossal man who uses me to play every night as if I couldn’t even tell

The food is bland, the nurses laugh, the doctors give me exclusive diseases

The medicine is cheap and expired, putting my mind under heavy poisoned dazes

.

But it’s alright, because the girls I love visit me when no one else is looking

Their breaths may be putrid, their bones may protrude, but I won’t be complaining

And they’re building a rope out of their intestines to help with my grand escape

Don’t worry, I’ll be back to make you feel loved again, so just you patiently wait

They may inject cholera and botulism in me, and force me to see an underpaid shrink

But I won’t be deluded at all, no, as clear as a dark day I can still properly think

I’ll lace my pustule-dotted hands with anthrax and touch them until they’re all dead

Writhing on the floor as I step on their bodies, no one can help these bastards now

.

But for now, insane is all I can ever know, and all this pain feels rather demented

My cheeks slough off, my ears leak brain fluid, yet I feel so divinely elevated

I suffocate on plastic pills and jolt again from the electroshock, shit, it’s such a buzz

As they wring the tears from my broken neck and again I black out with a slurred cuss

So insensible I couldn’t feel the rusted scalpel slicing out my frontal lobe anymore

But I wouldn’t have to count the scratched tally marks shrieking at me on the stone wall

Because when the demon rends another piece from my heart and transfers immortality

Vengeance will be served and heads will roll; this world is damned, so I’ll add a little more beauty.

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Miss Mercenary

You had me hooked, careless and cunning
You had your throne, but now you’re nothing
You had me hooked, careless and cunning
You had your throne, but now you’re nothing…

~*~

A maiden for the silken sheets

A muse for the midnight masquerade

Amorous amorphous on feather pillows

A demure bonny on the pasquinade

.

A madwoman for the asphalt streets

A machine for the telephone’s hold

Astounding magic and death-defying acts

Aspiration generation, metal heart so cold

.

A mistress for all your petty problems

A megalomaniac for your world to rule

Alleviate and apprehend momentum quick again

Apathetic monarchy for the masses to adore and endure

.

A miss murder for the mean memorial of the brothels

A monster for the messy and mercurial meltdown motels

Arrogant tease decadent, astringent, leading you on well

All before she shows her blackened eyes and drags you down to hell.

~*~

Fading like the makeup from my sheets
And I’m leaving, send the orders for retreat
I laid to rest this war that we called “love”
It’s for the best and what’s done is done…

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Cause Of Death

Have you ever had enough of it?
Straight over it, sick of it, can’t get a hold of it?
Like a drug I need another fix
I’m a moth to a flame and I’ll burn for the hell of it
Battle scar ’cause I lost the fight
Every time I take a breath it’s like I’m losing my life
Fuck it, why am I so dysfunctional?
So irrational? I don’t know what to do…

~*~

The medicine you said you only injected under pressure

Crashing the fluids in your spine, worse than acupuncture

Don’t expect me to stay for another panache dosage round

I’ll down another shot of NyQuil to sleep safe and sound

.

Madness is the disease you declared was the supreme cure

Sane is just an inadequate substitute for the epiphanies pure

But if that’s the case, then why did you have to lock me up

In the asylum you once revered, and my system left to rot?

.

Will they forget the failed experiment that is my botched heart?

When your scientific curiosity deigned for its imminent restart

But the shocking electric currents seemed to pass the wrong way

Now my body’s shaking uncontrollably, and you pushed me away

.

But despite playing the doctor, you killed more than you healed

With each accident you’ve revived, more saline fluid was spilled

It’s okay, I know my nameless wounds would bleed out like death

And I’ll let you mark it in the coroner’s report, outline by the bullet

.

You conducted my autopsy, hoping to find and satisfy the missing answer

I would’ve told you myself, darling, if only you had asked me a little nicer

But when you finally satiate your desire to create and mitigate destruction

I’ll be there standing at the wreckage, all primed to pull the loaded weapon.

~*~

So I push you away until you beg me to stay
Just for the thrill of the chase, you got me intoxicated
Fucked in the head from all the things that we did
But I will never forget I need you, my medication…

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Carthago Delenda Est

“Save yourself, don’t ever look back…”

~*~

the mishaps they prophesised

is just another lost epoch for me

over my head, the neon glow

flickers with creed of premonition

.

madness, restored under faith

under penance and keeping such

congeniality running circles in a

genuflected vacation for hedonism

.

the sirens rehearsed another tale

unsatisfied with the heralded audition

drowning the ingenuity in between

applauses of deranged diaspora

.

disparaging exhilaration eliminating

the oxytocin behind my constantly evolving

flesh again, as the vicarious deception

makes me bow my head and continue the end.

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Consumed

Yeah, this is what I do, take another bite
Big enough to chew
She said, “Careful, or you’ll lose it”
But girl, I’m only human
And I know there’s a blade where your heart is
And you know how to use it…


Entrée # 1: Hors d’œuvre

There’s blood in my fingers from where you broke them clean

Take another bite of my quivering torso, gut the blade in my spleen

I’ll be alright, my bloodshot eyes roll back at your finer tastes

If you’re planning to murder me, dear, just don’t let me go to waste


Entrée #2: Apéritif

I couldn’t lose it, I wouldn’t lose it, this time, this time I swear

They all look so goddamn tantialising to me, they’re all so unaware

My cracked lips are watering at the thought of flesh rather aged

I’m five seconds away from counting down and going into a rampage


Fine Dining: Plat Principal

The rioting voices in my head screamed “Run, why don’t you?!”

But I’m afraid I’m enjoying my own homicide scene far too much to stop

Turn around, let me see the perpetrator, let me take you through

It’s not fair, with every gland and chemical, they ruptured in another trap


Save Some Room: Assiette à Dessert

What…what the fuck happened? All I see is a decaying cadaver still smiling

And sweet postmortem laughter digging at the back of my head, latching to me

I searched for a drag, lost restraint again, and satisfied myself with my  f e e d

I said that I’ll stop killing for greed, but I never said I’ll stop for what I  n e e d.


And you can take my flesh if you want, girl
But, baby, don’t abuse it
These voices in my head screaming, “Run, now”
I’m praying that they’re human…

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We March To The Beat Of A Different Drum

Listen honey, I’m a lot like you
Don’t trip, let us show you what to do
You say hey, let’s cheers to us
We’re gonna be victorious
Don’t matter what they say…
~*~

Hey, let’s cheers to us

Another year of crazy fuss

Madness, stories, and reminiscing

The same beat our hearts are singing

Some connections may be hazy

And the threads may be entangled badly

But I know I’ll always find my way

Back to what we have built in solidarity

You only live once, the anthem we live under

As we lose our sane to the fun and misadventures

Here’s cheers to another year, and to the next

May we create more memories that we don’t take for granted.

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Backdoor Unlocked

She got her head in the dirt
And her neck in my hands
She won’t live too long with a mind like that
I can’t hang every day, baby, I’ve got plans, oh woah
I won’t waste her time with a life like that…

~*~

There’s a smile in her eyes

And a laugh in her knife

That wouldn’t reach me

When it’s a quarter past four

“Will you get the door?”

.

But I don’t wanna open it up

Afraid that the sirens won’t stop

And they’ll find me high on oxy

Sleepin’ on a bed of money

They’re knocking, screaming more

.

But it’s all I can do to slur and speak

The colour of her name makes me so weak

I didn’t know how I got so obsessed

They told me they’ll take care of the rest

And the doorbell rings a mocking score

.

I thought tonight was just a nightmare

And you gave me quite a damn scare

When you told me that your heart stopped

And you spit blood in your red cup

They won’t cease banging on my porch

.

But there’s a sweet smile in your eyes

And you hid behind your back a knife

When you said you couldn’t reach me

And it’s ten past five when you killed me

Hiding the weapon under my lifeless body

As you said “I’ll get the door for you, baby.”

~*~

Keep your hands to yourself
Don’t put ’em on someone else’s life
Stay right there, right there
Take advice from yourself
If the energy’s dead, baby, let things die
I don’t care, oh no…

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fringe

Your face in the glass, and it’s dark now
It was just a laugh, it was just a laugh
It’s whatever you say it is, split infinite…

~*~

a face in

broken glass

a murmur

in the darkness

a prayer in

the shallow sky

sane is lost

to all the madness.

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Synthetic Love

I want to hurt you, I don’t deserve you
Unlace your body, I want total control
Like maggots from the host, you drain, I decompose
Swallow your faith, submit and fuck until we overdose…

~*~

And it’s the kind of love

That makes me slit my wrists

Just so I can prove to you

What you might dare to miss

And if the sunlight dares touch

Your skin, I’ll burn it all out

Darling, you’re simply too much

To satisfy my hunger and doubts

Anyone who speaks your name

Will find themselves maimed

And I’ll burn down all the towns

Of the bastards that left you to drown

Let me taste your writhing agony

Let me hear you scream for me

Let me chase for you with a gun

but I won’t ever hurt you, it’s all for fun

And I’ll slowly pluck off my fingers

To count the days we spent together

Whether you love me or you love me not

We’ll both still be stuck here forever

But it’s the kind of love that makes me

Bleed my heart and slit my wrists

Because I know the reality of you and I

Dear, it will never fucking exist.

~*~

We said this was “the last time” over and over again
(Blind eyes) The closer I get is the further I feel
(Hands tied) And I’m losing my grip on remembering what’s real
‘Cause our synthetic love is all that we know
My head is a mess, and it’s going to explode…

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