You Better Get The Door

Wash away these memories, silent and proud
Blood won’t confirm on these curtains
Your blood, my hands, your blood, my fucking hands
Run for the hills, your strength, from the dead afar…

~*~

A moment of delusion, celestial superfusion

Wander, demand her, a second of confusion

Seven to heaven when I find the intersection

Logistics and statistics that I failed to mention

.

Broken and unspoken, for the days I set unnumbered

We’ll plan this sheer madness until we’re torn asunder

Mayday don’t you say a thing, now don’t you maunder

Relay and decay me, the taste of suffering feels blander

.

Sorry, you know me, a crack away from the brick bracs

Gave me what you saved me, and the senses that I lack

Then we’ll set up for the kill, the trigger’s left unlocked

If I leave my morals ajar, maybe someone else will knock.

~*~

Run for the hills, your strength from luck
Cut this off, and if you think you’re alive,
Then you’re better off fucking dead!

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sad talk

it’s quite nice

to be depressed

when you have

nothing to say

for motivation

is a madness

and its agony is

the price you pay.

release

“…Can you feel my heart?”

~*~

i vain to

detonate

but there’s

no release

in words

or music

or crying

or useless

distractions

there’s no

fucking

meaning

in thoughts

of comforting

nothings

nor salvation

in severing

a million

empty veins

dragging the

red lines past

each other

until both my

arms are

amputated…

how the fuck

do you feel

when you

just don’t

know how to?

where does

the poison

exit your

drugged

up mind

when it’s

lost in a

dark maze?

how does

your sanity

cope with

inevitable

madness

that replaces

its void?

why, just

why do i

have to even

fucking feel?

there is

nowhere to

go but

nowhere;

there is

nothing to

do but

nothing—

it’s fucking

killing me,

but not

enough to

let me die

in peace.

and the

momentum

of pain

is slowly

building

up within…

but it won’t

let me go.

there’s a

rope in my

heart, and

it’s got a

firm hold

but without

the dynamite

all there is

to do is silently

i m p l o d e.

feeling cross

if an unexpected

demise is the

endgame to all

of this fucking

madness, then

let me be the

martyr that will

pay for your sins.

The Decapitated Queen of La Brea and the Boy of her Nightmares (Hail, Suicide!)

I said, we’ll drown ourselves in misery tonight
White lies, you’ve worn out all your dancing shoes this time
Just give us war-worn lipstick, blood, and purifying flame
These eyes have had too much to drink again tonight
Black skies, we’ll douse ourselves in high explosive light
Just give us war-worn, I’ve been calling you all week for my shotgun!

~*~

I love your lips, and the way they bleed

Like dying throes of cold water orchids

Drive my heart like a spike in the ground

Along with the dead, it’ll be safe and sound

.

And the moon tears the marrow of our bones

And the teeth in our necks are razor stones

So take me to a church, and get me a doctor

The coursing venom won’t last any longer

.

I wear my pills on a bloodstained sleeve

If there’s a heaven waiting, I don’t believe

You hid a revolver gun on my ancient bible

Lock and load, the scripture spells out trouble

.

And the mark of the serpent is burning me

Nazareth is damned, call me Black Mary

Carve the tattoo for the switchblade saints

Die by the cross of the apparition’s taint

.

The séance under the spotlight is holding on

Bang bang! Goes the monitor, he’s fucking gone!

Emergency alert, the red lights flash and spin

This institutional madness is fucking caving in!

.

Horror in my decayed lungs, glass in my falling nails

Banging against the coffin door rhythmic, hail, hail!

Bathe me in the arcane fires of an everlasting hell

And pray to the hurricane rain for another dry spell

.

Oh baby, the sun won’t be purified by your lipgloss

But if you tried to save us, it’s a threatening cause

Beat me fucked and correct the date on my grave

Tonight we’ll be insufferable, disgusted at the nave

.

I’m damned and broken, the saviour of the anthem

Decimating heroes with lobotomies and brain stems

This is a wedding party, bridegroom toasting cyanide

Marry to the end of the health and your death, I lied

.

And if they think you’ll be holding (they thought wrong)

Pick up the signs, make up your mind (you ain’t so gorgeous now)

You may be in exile, but don’t forget to smile (shine the light)

Drop the guns and have some fun, we’re stuck here a while (shit!)

.

So hear me out, my divine angel, dear graceless and corpse-fair

The blood’s drying in my mourning Sunday clothes I shall never wear

But the way my hands are shaking, I will never have a clean shot

So just hold it as tight as you can, and pull the trigger with all you’ve got.

~*~

Pick up the phone! Pick up the phone, fucker
I wanna see what your insides look like
(I wanna see what your insides look like)
I bet you’re not fucking pretty on the inside (not so pretty)
I wanna see what your insides look like (not so pretty baby)
I wanna see ’em (not so)…

drink or dare

cautioned glances

hushed laughter

madness taken

in little sips

dirty secrets

gin and water

madness hidden

mine to keep.

sounds of pain in the haemorrhage of a beast

the thoughts that confine

and slow down the

softer sounds of pain

as the beast in my mind

slips and slurs again

tonight; it shall sleep

but the sky is still

spinning under zero gravity

and the madness still

tastes like alcohol forbidden

on my hanging tongue

with every stupor prayer

that releases and unleashes

itself under my nerves,

the weakness manifests in

forms of darkness and

silhouettes and bulletproof

hearts lying under a pressure

and severed lust again

no more shall serpents hiss

about the aspiration and

initiation, all subdued into a

paralysing self-sedation

in the vigil of a ghostly moon

reflected under a lake

like a hallucinated mirror

glimmering in blades

swinging its pendulum knife

downwards, inch by inch

until the thoughts that

confine and slow down the

softer, senseless sound of pain

reaches the beast in my mind

and it bleeds out again.

say that the night sings along

tiredness

melting my bones

into bitter milk

and liquid silver

melting

like an icy dream

trapped in an

iceberg madness

madness

of a turbid crown

piercing my

screaming flesh

screaming

a laryngitis screaming

as the strangled

bracelets acted

acted as manacles

melting into reverie

melted over

like a thousand

sleepless nights

caught up in the rain

a rain

rain of blood and

agony on the

spiral staircase steps

footsteps

every step an arrow

lodged in my achilles heel

tearing ligaments

striking joints

lacerating tendons

lacerated

like the crying veins

serpentine in my

bloodshot eyes

blinded eyes

don’t close my eyes

i might never wake

never arise again

tagain i fall into repose

falling—

and if you do

do not disturb me

from the everlasting sleep

i don’t deserve

s l e e p . . .

Vincent’s Starry Night

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer’s day
With eyes that know the darkness
In my soul…

~*~

Vincent, the lost pastel colours, they forgot to light your golden stars tonight

Brush strokes faltering and swirling on your ceiling, a tapestry of navy sights

Vincent, you were simply complicated to fool the monsters within from the start

Your artistic chagrin and tortured soul kept ripping your palette emotions apart

.

Vincent, they all laughed at you and they mocked away such a beautiful mind

But if the madness was your universe, who knows what dimensions we can find?

Vincent, you fathomed yourself a disgrace, deemed creations amount to nothing

They all stumbled in your labyrinthine mind, thus resorted to insipid excoriating

.

Vincent, now you’re gone, and the village mourns for a sun extinguished too soon

You watch them above as you paint the landscapes, reminiscing on the blue moon

Vincent, you were always a warm summer sunflower, and my quaint antebellum art

They may not have truly understood you, but you have always rekindled my hazy heart.

~*~

And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night
You took your life, as lovers often do
But I could’ve told you Vincent
This world was never meant for
One as beautiful as you…

Insanitorioum

I wish I could have you here in my clutches
To remove the excuses from your mind
To part that haze and slice your soul to pieces
To sing a lullaby as I tied you to the slab
To shave your head with a dulling razor…

~*~

Jealous of madness

Ripping like spokes in my shaved head

Smash my ribs again

If my childish idiosyncrasy wet the bed

Kill the fucking rosary

That you clutched like bottles of tequila

This isn’t a missionary

Again unveiling your obvious dementia

Bad colours bite down

Splattering glass alongside their torsos

Whores into the horror

The cannibals filling up every meal row

Are you nauseous yet?

Spill the contents of your empty throat

Clap with sharp blades

Bodies dancing and twitching, all bloat

Don’t shut necrotic eyes

This is a madhouse, pleasure and pure

So hear their final encore

Echoes of pain or laughter, I’m not sure.

~*~

For nothing, for selfishness
In a perfect world
I would get my wish.