Tag Archives: meaning

The Weight

I never give you my pillow
I only send you my invitations
And in the middle of the celebrations
I break down…

~*~

There’s no god

In a meaning

And no meaning

In any god

I’ll amount it to

Nothing more

Than a bad night

And some drunken

Conversations

Because it’s not

Possible, when we

Barely even exist in the

Same terrafirma

Lifted tiptoes

All ready for takeoff

Never really knew

How scary the ground

Was, until you were

Up high and just

Out of reach;

Mistakes disguised

As adrenaline, and

The taste of someone

Else’s expired medicine

It doesn’t feel good

I’m not doing so good

Waiting, regressing,

Our time’s coming

Crashing down

Don’t lose hold

Here it goes—

And then…what?

And then, nothing.

But maybe, just maybe,

Something else.

~*~

Boy, you’re going to carry that weight
Carry that weight a long time…

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Filed under Poetry

Co-in-cide


“There’s no question
You’re the answer
I will find you.”


coincidences, that’s all they are. small, meaningless, stupid fucking coincidences. whatever you do, don’t overthink about it. don’t let it get to your head. and don’t you dare drag me down with you.

okay, listen up. fool me once, shame on me. fool me twice, and on the exact same instance? no way. something’s going awry here, and you have got to admit it. deep down inside, where you repress all the crazy things you hate to believe but still quietly cling onto, you know. you just do. it wouldn’t totally mess you up like this if you don’t. don’t you?

no, i don’t. not at all. and don’t act like a subversive condescending prick and proclaim that you do, somehow. the entire universe literally doesn’t give a shit about you, idiot. nor will it to anyone and anything else. so stop pretending that it’s something more grandiose and consequential beyond what it actually is—absolutely nothing—and leave it out of your life, goddamn it. and don’t try to convince me otherwise with all your tinfoil hat conspiracies. you’re better than this. at least, you really should be, anyway.

but what if it is? does it hurt to believe in the impossible, even for just a second? would it kill you just to be a little less empty than you already are? why? why not? what if?

what if, huh.

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Filed under Prose

are you holding up just fine?

acceptance

a lead aftertaste

lies upon lies

on the tip of a

spoiling tongue,

rancid promise

vulnerable—

a lobotomy

in third degree

words worn down

devoid of sense

of meaning

of your name

poisonous retrieval

heaving and

screaming; as

vulgar infatuation

takes ahold of

me once more.

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Filed under Poetry

March Miracles

This March, I wish for miracles

For muted sunsets with more meaning

For smudged sunscreen and summer sweetness

For neon melodies and sparklers exploding

.

In a myriad riot of excited celebrations

From late night kisses and senseless stars

And another birthday without a haze of blues

Feeling the warmth of home from afar

.

When I no longer chase for sprained daydreams

Because you were right there all along

To be my cause, my cure, my counterpart

To be my reason to write better songs

.

So I’ll rest in idyllic afternoons of yellow

Under the shade of softly-swaying palm trees

Wind rustling my hair, smile in my teeth

As all of my worries momentarily cease

.

For every catastrophe, for every cosmic lie

For every sugarcoated scheme, sweeter than a sigh

For every clever credence, for every convalescence

For every severed space where nothing else makes sense

.

This March, I wish for miracles

For messes and madness with more meaning

This March, I wish, I hope, I miss, I will go

Follow everything I love and know, and maybe I’ll keep my soul singing.

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Filed under Poetry

Be Something

Nobody thinks what I think, nobody dreams when they blink
Think things on the brink of blasphemy, I’m my own shrink
Think things are after me, my catastrophe at my kitchen sink
You don’t know what that means because a kitchen sink to you
Is not a kitchen sink to me, okay friend?

~*~

If I were to collapse

On myself and care

About the way I speak

And how I do my hair

Then I wouldn’t be here

Then I wouldn’t be dead

I’ll just be an old memory

At the back of my head

Yes, I want to grow up

But I want to do it my way

So I don’t need any handouts

Of so-and-so’s displays

And I’ll take the challenge

But with no instructions

Leave me to figure out

And trip again until i’m done

Because life is meaningless

All this shit doesn’t matter

So I’ll take my chances

And test the deeper waters

Then if I fail, well just be there

To say that “I told you so”

Even then, I wouldn’t care

Because this I know

At least I tried my very best

And I claimed my stakes

Instead of just simply regretting

That I never made mistakes.

~*~

Are you searching for purpose?
Then write something, yeah it might be worthless
Then paint something then, it might be wordless
Pointless curses, nonsense verses
You’ll see purpose start to surface…

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Filed under Poetry

a self-portrait painted on anaheim landscapes

I did what I do best, forgot myself
Got overdressed like everybody else
A glance and a half smile
Black heels on the white tile
It took seven years for your path to realign…

~*~

i am made of torn skin

and overplayed stereo songs

and a million miles to cali

and washed-out daydream colours

i’m lost; some would say gone

and my stares are silent dynamite

i remember what i throw away

again my tongue detonates

and i’m searching for meaning

in a world that’s as meaningless

as a crude april first joke

and not in the least bit funny

but i’ll keep on looking anyway

and maybe it will make sense

in some parallel universe someday

where time doesn’t wear my skin

and songs never sound the same

and cali’s just a tiptoe and half away

and the daydream never fades.

~*~

Gone, doesn’t it feel good to be invisible?
Gone, just like the way I used to be
Gone, have I been fading away?
Yeah, I’m so gone, gone…

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Filed under Poetry

The End of an Era

Here he is, he saves a grin
He wants to be the one who doesn’t have to sink a level
Indiscrete, in his retreat
All he needs is just a taste of the bitter pride
He held in her name…

~*~

Limits have their breaking pointss

And can fall in utter disrepair

What used to be bound with ropes

Now dangles by a precarious strand of hair

.

Mirrors have their cracking webs

And when they spread, it can shatter

No matter how hard you try to fix it

It’s won’t show the same reflection ever

.

Bodies have their wounds and sickness

And we’ll always try to slowly heal

But someday no medicine could cure

And we will then be rapidly killed

.

Words have an end to their capacity

Someday you might run out of meaning

We talk and take things for granted

And in the end are left silently staring

.

People have their gentle push

But sometimes it comes to a shove

And no amount of closing apologies

Can ever return the former love.

~*~

He’s in love with an isolation from emotion
Here he is awaiting sentence
A fool to think that anyone can escape guilt and anguish
A subtlety that can’t be learned, a subtlety that can’t be taught
He is caught in the lure of second thoughts
He might still care, as he settles down well aware…

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Filed under Poetry

Wonderless

instances

of another well-developed meaning

forming sentences within my mind

.

i wonder

if amid all this rapacious confusion

a literary epiphany i’ll be able to find.

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Filed under Poetry

Leave The Truth Alone

There’s nothing really left to say
And I don’t need you to explain
We don’t need those lines
So tired of living in the past
So if we’re gonna make it last
We should leave it all behind
I’d rather you lie than throw it all away…

~*~

I’ll beat you out when you talk your candid games

You said love, I say brainwashed, it’s just the same

Think you can handle the kilometres on my gauge

Step on the pedal honey, kill the switch, disengage

.

So just kick my shins, I’ll fucking jump off the ceiling

They think it’s blatant suicide, but it has no meaning

Cheers to poisons gurgling at the back of our throats

Who knew living out the rest would be my footnote?

.

The lowest type tries to burn the oceans with a match

And marionettes pretty girls, with no strings attached

But the doctors won’t hit me up with more medication

Guess I’m not meant for surgeries and wasted sedation

.

Tonight I met the sun and moon drinking at a 24/7 bar

They told me to fuck off, they don’t got any more stars

And the sky has turned serrated from the lacerated eyes

I’m done making vicious promises, through playing nice

.

Don’t you dare take the trite polygraph out of my tongue

That gin and tonic does our thing, have ten shots for fun

And while we’re at it, shooting blank rounds at the wind

Say this story’s a threadbare hoax, just another banal sin.

~*~

How deep do you wanna go?
Don’t you know that some things
Are better left alone?
They’re better left alone…

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Filed under Poetry

amico

i wouldn’t

call you

simply a

friend,

honestly—

you’re so

much more

to fit in

such a weak

category.

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Filed under Poetry