Tag Archives: medicine

Baby, You’re Dead to Me

Hip hip hooray for me, you talk to me
But would you kill me in my sleep?
Lay still like the dead from the razor to the rosary
We could lose ourselves and paint these walls in pitchfork red…

~*~

My heart is fucking crippled

And you stole my crutches

Leaving me to limp my way

Back into the house you burned

.

My soul is fucking injected

With a dose of my own medicine

Leaving me defying a lost god

As hell waits patiently for my turn

.

My body is fucking corrupted

It must be all the nails I devoured

Leaving my blood to wither

As your vampire kiss claims earn

.

My mind is fucking profane with butane

And your words intensified the taste

Leaving me revoltingly desiring for more

As you scattered the ashes in my urn.

~*~

I will avenge my ghost with every breath I take
I’m coming back from the dead
And I’ll take you home with me
I’m taking back the life you stole…

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Chasing Zebras, Circling the Drain

When I sew you up, don’t let me—stop bleeding!
Tiny stitches that you placed into my skin
Won’t let me go (oh no, oh no!)
And they’re ruining the mood
So I’ll toast every beat of my heart like a miracle…

~*~

I’m just a madman in a gurney

You’re just a liar with a rope

These palpitations don’t concern me

If you cry now, you won’t cope

.

And the nurses are dancing wrong

For the lesions that marked your skin

And the doctors are singing along

Burning like injections and liquid sin

.

Intubate me, I can’t breathe alone

The lozenge you prescribed lodged in my throat

These syndromes are but mere anomalies

But I’m a curious mystery, solve my cataplexy

.

Diagnose me again and over again

Abscesses in my heart, lymphoma in my brain

Give me some lorazepam or another placebo

Is there a hospital gown I can borrow?

.

A convulsion and a single stroke

Say the words and I’ll say that I’m sick

And the experimental apparatus didn’t work

As the vaccines failed the antibiotics

.

Immunocompromise me, make me weak

In a pathological war of an epidemic

I’m in remission, you gave pulmonary edema

I can’t speak now, I’m down with aphasia

.

Another dose of Vicodin to cover

The pain feeling like electric shocks

Your chest heaves under the defibrillator

Your oxygen tank ticks like the clock

.

Count the beats on the monitor

I won’t close my eyes if you listen slow

My blood is clotting from pressure

But don’t worry dear, you won’t see me go

.

I’ll perfuse the circuit, keep you alive

I’ll call a crash cart to make sure you died

Teach you how to use a morphine drip

And sedate you from Occam razor’s sharper slip

.

Accidents happen, they occur the worst

Trust me, this is just a blessed curse

Your heart is removed, your skin feels cold

Just don’t end up crying in the morgue

.

Don’t seize now, don’t crash in a hurry

Hold on, I’m trying to save the date

You went into tachycardia at the sight of me

Your scheduled surgery is running late

.

So call off the operation, call off the operation

If your valium teeth are still smiling

Call off the operation, the operation again

If the IV drips blood, we win, we win, and I win

.

‘Cause I’m just a patient dying in sepsis and crazy

You’re just another white-coat liar with a stethoscope

And all the tools and scalpels are already rusted over

But doctor, is it still too much to ask for some hope?

~*~

And I don’t think you’ll ever want to love me
You’d better listen to your doctor
Doctors lie (lie!), lie (lie!), lie
If the dollar is right, oh, my sweet little girl
Hold your mouth and you’ll be all right!

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Misdiagnosis

Stop targeting

My central nervous

System, you’re

Tearing apart my gut

I need a dose

Of your own medicine

An injection, stat

You’re the raged disease

That’s infecting me

Terminally, I’m quite sure

But is it harmless

To assume that you’ll also

Be the only cure?

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Parallel Driveway

Red lights flash in the car we’re kissing in
Call me crazy, I’ve always tried to remind her
That the future’s just a few heartbeats away
From disaster, I’m afraid that I’ve thrown it all away…

~*~

Blankets vertically slashing cuts

In my bedroom morgue disease

Slipping on chrome lighted guts

The fabric of life rips and bleeds

Late midnight run to a pharmacy

Another future has not killed me

As honest as this world’s square

It’s a miracle I’ve not pulled hair

Stained glass prayers can’t save

The ones I loved, the ones I hate

Stay with me, these chances low

But at least the aches shall slow

So complicate my health further

I’ll back out of hailstorm weather

I’ve saved my breath just for you

Still I’ve held it ’til I contacted flu

Immune to coffee with medicines

This passenger drunk on gasoline

So I’ll close both my eyes and drive

Crash my car so I’d feel more alive.

~*~

No! At the top of our lungs
There’s no! No such thing as too young
When second chances won’t leave you alone
‘Cause there’s faith in love…

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Placebo

These pills are contumelious and tasteless. I can sense the verbatim in each weighted gold, the incorrigible condition of convalescing, the asinine arrogance of it all that flows ever so hotly and heavily, like boiling lead poured down my veins, as I swallow quickly before the unpleasant bitter taste invades my tongue, hard tablets travelling down my throat imperceptibly. It somehow catches midpoint and I cough tentatively, droplets of rusty starched blood staining my silk white gloves. But, I think, it’s only or three drops and a dash of wasted chloride, so never mind that. Grimacing, my eyes narrow into thin slits at the minuscule writing on the sterile label, and I read the dictated instructions ever so carefully—like it even mattered in the slightest—as I shook more of the little pink chalky medical sedition out of its orange prescription bottles, the container vivid and gruesomely bright, tangerine teeth smiling at me as if to say “Your hair is falling out, your organs and viscera are liquefying at an alarming rate that you might as well shit it out, you’ve got a terminal ailment and necrosis is your best friend, it’s good, everything’s okay!”. It continues jeering and mocking and pointing fingers against me silently while simultaneously continuing its purpose of surreptitiously patching and stitching up internally what’s already disintegrated into a causeless irreparable degeneration. I glance at the acerbic prescription bottle, then back at the cherry cheeked cherubic lifesavers resting taciturn in my hand. Letting my irrational dignity get the best of me and sighing in a ludicrous extravagance, I take a hesitant drink of water, room temperature and straight from the tap, and throw the snickering pills away resolutely. They fall somewhere on the pristine linoleum floor with a protesting clatter, indignant and still stabbing invisible excoriations behind my back. I don’t care. This affluent injury, this affirmative debilitation, this coldhearted affliction is futile, I may as well be swallowing coins for all the good that it’s done me. It’s nothing but a feel-good propaganda that manages to make me feel worse; I may as well be choking on my own false hope.

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We Got That Fever Catching On

There’s a fire in my head
And it’s keeping me from getting out of bed
Take the TV, take the rest
All my riches for a vision and a quest…

~*~

I’ll hold you back

If the fever strikes

But rest assured

That these nights

Shall be mellow

As softest daisy

Cease all sorrow

For rose reverie

It’s not delusion

Simply blithe air

My companions

Would be spares

Do not turn yellow

As old bibliography

For on the morrow

You have no worry

The plague passes

Medicines battled

Retreats en passé

I will be Nightingale

I can hold you back

When fever strikes

For I am your cure

And I shall go fight.

~*~

I found out, I confused desire and control
And maybe nothing’s gonna save me
I’m in too deep, I cast the mould…

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The Death Of Me

3-2-1 We came to fuck
Everybody party till the gasman comes
Sparkle like Bowie in the morning sun
And get a parking violation on La Brea till it’s done
Hair back, collar up, jet black, so cool!
Sing it like the kids that are mean to you!

~*~

There is this tacit agreement within these hospital halls

An echoing of secrets bouncing off the sordid tiled walls

The telly, tabloids, radios, they’re all straining to eavesdrop

A sensational press release to be taken with Ritalin drops

.

The news at eleven is blatting their usual bullshit and nonsense

Your scowling mugshot showing on every black and white prints

Calculated analysis pours in, idiot savants paying their two cents

Highfalutin judgement via observing your colourless eyes’ stints

.

You ask for more oxygen, instead they provided methane

Burning embers flare with every pained breath you inhale

A skeletal hand reaches out, a last damaged angel reverie

“I’ll miss you honestly, but you’re gonna be the death of me.”

.

Stay still on the Dekapote, let’s test out your anatomy

And dissect the postmortem of your decaying sanity

But it’s not penicillin that is curing ails in elimination

It’s your synthetic test lab love’s biohazard radiation

.

There’s something to be said about the pills we consume

A soupçon of this, a little panacea, inhaled asthma fumes

It’s destroying your baby girl, ingénue rendered quondam

Repeat Rx, errant pharmacy alibis, drink until ad nauseam

.

So fly across the turnpike, hold tight, increase maximum velocity

We have an expiration date chasing us, so let’s indulge in alacrities

My rented heart has four chambers, but none with an open vacancy

I’m sorry, but don’t you see? You’re gonna be the death of me

.

It leaked to the media, their most darling charismatic starlet

Accrued some terrible habits, a degrading scandalous mess

She’s gone mad, she’s insane, I’ll bet it’s all that pure cocaine

Conspirators pass the rumours around like shots of codeine

.

But who cares? Let’s smile at the camera and dance like tumbleweeds

Annihilate the festering bourgeoisie that writ[h]e and sic[k] and f[r]eed

If it’s ingestible, it’s presentable, but let’s break this rhapsodic melody

If they think who’s who is gonna be, then who’s who’s the death of me

.

Just take out those glory guns of yours, embrace that cool revolver

Fuck what all the haters say my dear, you’re this generation’s solver

Red flags of vendetta and anarchy, you lead this boulevard’s parade

Pulling at my dislocated hand to listen to the public effigy you paid

.

It burgeons and blots away, a failing prototype of human nature’s stumbling runs

Mortalities ain’t for centuries anyhow, so in the meantime, let’s have unlimited fun

A suicide pact for two idiotic lovers, hell, why not? We’re gonna die anyways, baby!

Set me free, let me be, I’m crazy, don’t you see honey? You’re gonna be the death of me!

~*~

When you wanna be a movie star
Play the game and take the band real far
Play it right and drive a Volvo car
Pick a fight at an airport bar
The kids don’t care if you’re all right honey
Pills don’t help but it sure is funny
Gimme gimme some of that vampire money
Come on!

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M O N S T E R × r e t s n o m

Turn away
If you could get me a drink of water
‘Cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my Aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favourite colours…

~*~

V.) MEDICINE × enicidem

Lying in limpid stasis, comatosed on a cold hospital gurney

As the sterile figures are wheeling me in, onto my last journey

Doctors with white angel wings, armed with swords of scalpel

Slashing away at the indomitable monster my body hid so well

.

Blast liquid radiation, intakes of chemo, concentrated vials

Dialysis emptying my veins, and attempting useless trials

A diagnosed creature transforming, stage 4 metastasised

As everyone glances at me sadly with glossy pitying eyes

.

So take away all the coloured calendars and the clocks that mockingly tick

Counting the seconds, hours, moments, all the years that I can never keep

Turn off the machines, disconnect my wires, I won’t be needing any longer

I’m ready to accept my ultimate fate, for I know now that I will be stronger

.

X.) MEMORY × yromem

Reminiscing our faded memoirs, on a dessicating ancient diary

Writ in intervals of ink, blood, love, our accrued stolen memories

Spending afternoons in the butterfly garden, tales of you and me

Living out with childish mirth, our own secret Mary Lennox fantasy

.

Writing out last wills and trembling letters of false painful assurance

To uncle John and Aunt Mary, to all my relatives first and secondary

I’ll miss you, loved ones, but you’ll forget me once you collect insurance

Keep my soul in your thoughts as you enjoy my unexperienced itinerary

.

Pack away all my things, store my belongings in a strong mulberry box

Those framed photos of mine on the mantelpiece, carefree and relaxed

Their quaint presents, trinkets, clover leaves, constellations for good luck

Keep them now carefully, for I won’t be needing any of them all that much

.

L.) MOURN × nruom

Make my image come to life again, make me beautiful, Mr. Mortician

Powder my gaunt, pallid complexion, make it a flourishing pink and fair

Dress me up in your finest silk and cotton habiliments, Mr. Mortician

And try to save what little you can from my raining withered haybale hair

.

Carry away my coffin into a cathedral solemnly, be bereft and lament me

Let the choir boys sing a melancholy requiem for the girl I’ll never marry

Rain down the roses, parting crowds like Moses, drowning on a red sea

Etch an epitaph on my tombstone, a final word of William Blake’s literary

.

Proclaim all the good things I’ve done right with my scanty epoch life

In my sepulchre, chisel my marble memorial with a dulled rusty knife

Hate me and berate me as you cremate me, a final prayer for your loss

A light drizzle of ashfall, leave me now in peace, to be buried, to repose

.

C.) MORTALITY × ytilatrom

Remember me, remember my name

Don’t you forget our whimsical days

Perhaps I’ll find a better home

In a field of crumbling gravestones

So goodnight for now, my dear

Don’t you cry such wasted tears

Maybe someday I’ll be back here

Smiling, none the worse for wear

.

Remember me, remember my pain

Don’t you forget me, lest I fade away

Perhaps there’s a blissful heaven

When the pendulum strikes eleven

So goodnight for now, my dear

This is goodbye for now, I fear

‘Cause this is when I disappear

Promise me someday you’ll meet me there.

~*~

My sisters and my brothers, still I will not kiss you
‘Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you…

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This Affair Is Not For The Fainthearted

I wouldn’t front the scene if you paid me 
I’m just the way that the doctor made me
On and on and on and on 
Love is the red the rose on your coffin door 
What’s life like, bleeding on the floor
The floor, the floor…

~*~

Your poets and criminals all dance in the same cell

Your mother’s eyes scream a silent prayer, can’t you tell?

You throttled the trigger, and emptied the hot lead chamber

And I’ll be your paper target, empty holes I’ll feel forever

.

They gave me ephedrine, fed me some tasteless medicine

Prescribed Abilify for the choir voices singing “Hallelujah!”

They dosed the offset, and I upped the convulsions

But don’t get a rosary yet, it’s just a side effect of prescriptions

.

You be my violent opposition, I’ll be a perfect mute

We’re perfect for each other, recriminated and abused

Hatred for this mad world, hearts exploding like a bomb

Let’s flare and glare, we’re neverwhere, drenched in bevy scum

.

So taste my butane skin, and load the ammunition

We’ll conflagrate our black souls into incineration

I’ll expunge your wasted blood, all the roses you bled

We’ll march the cathedral halls until we’re dead, we’re dead

.

Your apathy demands attention, alleviation you’ve aspired

You asked for a cure but all they gave are pills long expired

Hold on, hold on, maybe you’re just being badly neurotic

I must be going crazy, hell, why do I find that so romantic?

.

I’ll carry my mama on a gurney, into the deep forest since

Another contusion appears in my skin, a tally of all my sins

Shall we leave mother dearest to rot in the presence of wolves?

Should I be guilty? No, the law yells for me to absolve, absolve!

.

And we’ll ride the metal hansoms on this corporate fairy tale

But darling, I fear they’ll dissent, and you’ll be caught in the gale

Divas and starlets and mobs of girls dressed all meretricious

Men in suits, cornpone a-holes, faulty visions with strabismus

.

Come with me, we’ll infect all the sterile institutions in vile disparaging contritions

We’ll haunt the fallen graves in séances we frayed, won’t you accept my resignation

Don’t you worry, I’ll gladly be your widow honey, I’ll be your final lethal injection dose

This graceless romance is not for the squeamish, we all fall down in hell, and repose, repose!

~*~

So give me all your poison 
And give me all your pills 
And give me all your hopeless hearts 
And make me ill 
You’re running after something 
That you’ll never kill 
If this is what you want 
Then fire at will…

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Ailment

A feeling of sickness

That slight hint of madness

A demeaning spot of bacteria

A twisted note of cholera

.

A bitter taste of medicine

Tinges of pills and Aspirin

A weakening dose of vitamin

Splash of Prozac and insulin

.

To be weakened by our Nature

Or by Human’s inclined fervour

A choice between disease and cure

Most would take the latter, I’m not so sure.

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