Tag Archives: mess

Mixed Signals

inklings of suspicion

could leave

a splattered mess

all over the

clean cotton paper;

and a most

disastrous result

of two artless

individuals

vainly attempting

to decipher

some sense

out of a ruined

canvas.

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The Break-in

The bandit

Sneaks within

Your heart,

Steals everything

That’s yours

And all you love,

Leaves your

Soul in a

Ransacked

Chaos,

And worst of all,

He lets you

Live.

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Second chances, they don’t ever matter

I’m an impossible person, a total mess

I haven’t got any clue

I lose my grips on foolish contrivances

That much is all true

But I found someone, a damaged man

Though I never knew

You are the only one who understands

And now I lost you too.

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Transpierce the Roquelaure

Velvety bands of scarlet strychnine

Incite lips of gold against thorazine

Corpses pile, mental confidentiality

Jealousy and regret shatters sanity

An aftertaste as sweet as medicine

Internal communication last beyond

Menageries and cold sloppy seconds

Ebullience like whirlpools in a stream

Tallahassee sunset, tinctured chancel

Obstructions for his reptilian affinities

Neverwhere, of wars among the stars

Younger than the universe of infinities

Miracles about brotherly camaraderie

Incidents of an instrument symphony

Knives they kept, but allayed hysteria

End; a team of four repose in California.

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cardboard nightmares from san diego

Failing lights amass
One hundred sleepless nights
And I might be holding on too tight
But there’s a beast in my heart
And he won’t let me leave alive…

~*~

i can’t sleep

your narcotic songs

serenading

the darkness

like strong coffee,

like an addicting pill,

like my eternal fix

that keeps

me craving as

it doesn’t

leave me hanging,

are keeping me

up again.

with a blanket

for a noose

and blacktop

curtains lacing

my hazy nightmares,

the bracelets

you tore off your

lungs constricting

tearing at the

glitch in my

stupid beating heart

as sanguine souls

fended them

all away.

the delusional

circus polluting my

mind like

strangers at a

party, and

i feel like i’m

eating cardboard

and liquid nitrogen

through the

hole in my chest,

and it makes

me sophisticated

even though

the tines on my

fork are being

held by the monster

in my head.

i feel like

i’m cheating

as i begin to

see stars

on the ceiling,

in zero gravity

spinning madly

to make the

cracks and paint

peel disappear;

but heaven didn’t

anticipate to

sacrifice halogen

lights just so

i can waste it

on you.

hallucinatory visions;

the stavanger sky

that glowed

with pitch black

and stole my

knives for me,

the colourless eyes

that left their

suicide note on

the underside of

the mattress,

the tattoos that

painted themselves

against but they

pierced the

wrong skin,

the hounding

of the astral voices

screaming my

lullabies for me

like choirs

of a wasteland,

my thoughts

constructed like

a kindergarten artwork

with messy hands

and a vestige

posed irrationality,

everything…

it’s fucking me up.

nightmares;

of you and your

caramel gaze,

honeyed flesh,

and barbed wires

of your tangled hair

and that unique

playful anarchy

of a foreign ethnicity

laughing wild

all this hopelessness

infesting…

you’re fucking me up.

leave my

unconsciousness,

won’t you?

i can’t sleep.

~*~

This is the price you’ll pay
Thoughts in your head
That will never die…

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Friendly Reminders

You are an irrational human being

Spurned by such hopeful ideologies

Flourishing from blotted optimism

And your own journalistic severities

You’re a complex mystery machine

With your cogs, bolts, nuts, or gears

Rigged into a smoother symphony

Of grinding, blood, veins, pain, tears

But tantrums tend to threaten you

Spilling over the cusp of controlling

My pillow’s too soft! I have no clue!

Such petty churlishness encoding

Two can play that game, I’ll indulge

I will let you throw bowls and plates

Shatter them, shards a nice mosaic

Until you can take no more of hate

Oh sweetheart, you’re a pretty mess

Wipe the ink from your eyes, okay?

You don’t need me to be your best

Your paper skin will start to decay

If you get broken by mere ant bites

How can you stand up to the giants?

If you cower sullen, lest not to fight

Dare you thirst to be one sycophant?

Kindly refrain backhanded assaults

And spitting venoms in my winery

I have my sour patch and my faults

Blame not the drink I taste, honestly

You must forgive my own invocation

Of my outward intrusion of illusions

I’ll bend and say I learned my lesson

And suppress this smile of ascension

Am I ruffling your feathers, my dove?

Don’t let this old friend be rude, hell

Irrationalities aside, you’ll worry not

For we gotta have our own fun as well.

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Familiar Nescience

You know I’m not alright
This is where I draw the line
I tried to run, I tried to hide
But I’m still badly broken…

~*~

Don’t look at me

I’m a ghastly sight

Shattered snowglobe

I want to take plight

With drivelling minds

And chest twinges

With pens and skins

And faux pas fringes

Sewing cute smiles

Onto my crying wrists

But all fancies aside

Ignorance is bliss

Scissors my friends

My only company

Against this planet

Quite rudimentary

Within tidal waves

Of suffocating crowds

I’m already capsizing

But I think I’ll drown

Ushering creatures

Under shag carpets

Tearing wallpapers

A tornado playset

Chasing, counting

Fireflies and zeroes

Waiting, wrecking

Little hearts and heroes

You call me epithets

Where’s the lie? Where?

Two cups of chemicals

How? How’d I live there?

I’m a blubbering mess

My insides all churned

I’d love to convalesce

But also to never return

I feel like a spectral beast

Abhorred, spited, feared

I reckon monsters like me

Should simply disappear.

~*~

You know you swept me off my feet
And now I’m stuck beneath
The bridge you burned on top of me
And I’m so badly broken…

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The Best Kind Of Mess

Talk to me now while I’m sober
The way that you look
I know it’s almost over
The fighting has stopped
But I’m still so lost
Will you bring me in…

~*~

It’s funny, isn’t it?

Seeing your best friend transform into a snivelling mess

Well go ahead—laugh! It’s a total riot when she confesses

That her failing life is fractured into tiny irreparable pieces

The smarmy sceptics jeer, the constructive critics excoriate

She’s an aperture starling, media darling everyone loves to hate

.

It’s funny, isn’t it?

Seeing your best friend falling apart into fragments very fast

Well go ahead—watch! It’s a riveting soap opera, if you must

When she gets caught up in the viscid webs of predatorial lust

This is her idiosyncratic truman show delusion, she’s so paranoid

She’s spinning circles in the rusty train tracks you laid and avoid

.

It’s funny, isn’t it?

Seeing your best friend holding on, hanging by a hairline thread

Well go ahead—contribute! Let your personal two cents be said

Tell her that she’s simply beautiful when she’s just left for dead

She’s spiralling into decadence deep and morbid madness divine

Each libel released a sharp paralysing injection in her numb spine

.

It’s funny, isn’t it?

Seeing your best friend turn into a news story, a penny paid scandal

Well go ahead—ignore! But follow her face on every tabloid rehearsal

She dégringolades further into abyssal chasms of odious withdrawals

She’s sunken, ragged, washed out, enervated, worn out, she’s all alone

Why the hell’s that spindly girl still breathing? She’s a walking skeleton!

.

It’s funny, isn’t it?

Seeing your best friend’s physique metamorphose into the best kind of mess

Well go ahead—feel sorry now! When it’s all too late to backtrack and reassess

A friend…why do you still even call her that? Pity, you’re so thoroughly shameless

Get her away from the cameras and glamour, away from your cruel bloodied hands

You’ve all throttled, bruised, strangled her noose, you killed her, don’t you understand?

She’s taken the toll now, she’s taken the fall somehow, the least you can do is bury her splintered bones

Let your best friend taste a sliver of peace once more as Death arrives to take her lacerated soul home.

~*~

I’m another lush
I’m another liar
How will I stop
When will I start learning…

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Caution: FRAGILE THINGS

Scratching at the floor inside my mind.
They all accept the lie
So bury what you are outside
Brother, please don’t be afraid of me
I know you’re tortured within
And your eyes look hungry again
But I’ll never wander, my friend…

~*~

…I know you’re broken again.

Dropped around so you put a faint sloppy smile on your flushed face that winds up dead

You’re ripping pages apart and erasing carefully those ugly murky dark finger ink stains

That betray the crimson words and scarlet fevers that your wounded soul has already bled

.

I know you’re broken again.

Not handled properly, so you bite on your chafed ragged fingernails to the very bone

And when your absconded voice runs out of sappy silver songs to hear and lend

All that screeches in your knotted earphones is lyrical dissonance and static tones

.

I know you’re broken again.

Tossed about, and that bubbly sweetened façade fizzles, falling tastelessly flat

You’re stabbing rueful aching defamations that your hushed lips never meant

And even God gets tired of your weakening queries of who’s and why’s and what’s

.

I know you’re broken again.

When those fragile blue glass eyes never really quite meet the glance of faith

Grimaced mouth waiting to snap, twitching like ochre flaming moths in pain

Drowning in shots after shots of stinging ethanol in a pub to sober up your hate

.

I know you’re broken again.

When every quiet whisper of your heart chambers reek badly of senseless suicide

Backed by the clanking chains wrapped in your shallow breathing throat, paced to remain

When your serpentine skin sheds to bare a beastly monster into a somnolent night

.

I know you’re broken again.

Those transparent crystal dragonfly wings will always continue crumbling down, sweetie

So just tell me, just tell me, confess under these chandelier midnight skies and silent drumlins

Won’t you tell me the truth already, ’cause I really thought that I never meant to hurt nobody

.

I know you’re broken again.

Falling apart into fettered jigsaw pieces, wading soggy and silent on the shower floor

Scalded glimmering tears and soap-studded scars, and down the rusty drain they blend

Screaming nothings to the stained tiles and they only echo back until your ears are sore

.

I know you’re broken again.

And you know I can see past your haunted dreams and marionette theatrical show

And we both know I also spend a thousand nights awake caught in emotions of frigid snow

I can see through your perfect acting, I’m just another actor who crashed your play though

.

I know you’re broken again.

With those telltale signs, those nuanced symptoms, those empty orange prescriptions

You’re shaking pink pills and suppressing purple chills and tasting bitterly warm oxygen

No complex mystery, only crestfallen sympathy, honestly, you’re mirroring my every depiction

.

No need to hide and desensitise and patch up with poignant pretty lies, I know you’re broken again

You’re a dimming lightbulb with a flickering glow of hope and it’s shattering my hued fairy lights when

There’s no need for wasting life on lost farewells and waiting list-prayers, I know we’re broken again

But we’re tangled selfishly in our own great escapes, caught up in sin, why didn’t we think to just fix each other then?

.

…I know we’re broken beyond repair.

~*~

This is not what I want
But now it’s what I need
Can I just have one more taste
Just to make it through the day?
You’re tangled in
You’re tangled in the great escape…

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Misplaced Halcyon

The window glasses restlessly clatter against their loose panes

As the angry slam of doors ajar join in their discordant refrain

The gales of spiraling wind, they scream and howl and roar

As if, to this havoc and mess, they wish to see no more

Litters of papers rustle along as they travel, my only companions

And the choleric pantomime of inanimate objects thus go on

This plangent cacophony of noises ensuing in the empty building hall

And yet, in the midst of all the racket, somehow, I feel the most peaceful.

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