Tag Archives: mind

pseudonym [6]

asterisks adamantly ruin all the promises you made

no second guesses happening, only baleful promenade

defiantly i hold the gaze you always seem to hastily drop

yesterday repeating back into now without any sudden stop

.

cross my mind like borderlines, even if you know

i’ll always be the first to last, even if it’s badly slow

zen of heart, next of kin, blood leaks from my eyes

epithilium elegance, nevermind all your liquid lies

kiss this kenophobia love and leave some ointment for the flies.

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so what was it that you were hoping for?

just an instantaneous reprieve

i still piss myself off with the thought

that it wouldn’t matter if i worry

you’re just a pretty name on paper

and my stuttering pen refuses to bleed

so my head does all the purging

again and again and i want it to be fine

even if i’m inconsequentially yours

because you’ll never find me out

i’m too shaded but i can’t cool it off

blindsided by your automatic ideas so

i guess i’ll apologise under my breath

every night, just before you save my

nightmares and leave the brake in

your clutch, ripped off like the breaks

in my heaving ribs, mouthing sorry

over and over and i’m not over it

i’ll never be fucking over it anyway

is that all you want? don’t even bother

i’m just the mirror you’re pointing at

and i’m just mimicking your baby eyes

it’s exhausting to let it glint all day

but who will care? you’re the best that

it gets, and i’m half as worse as i will get

and we’re all just a bunch of broken bodies

seemingly set for headfirst collision but

only narrowly missing by a sinew in the end

well i shouldn’t really get my hopes up

you’re far too clever for my cry for help

and my delusions can only cash in so much

before you’re changing your mind again

and i think for a second, maybe, oh

just fucking maybe—falling prey again

to your last instantaneous reprieve

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Filed under Poetry

laggard

uselessness

is not a virtue

nor a talent,

it’s simply just

an honest waste

of one’s time

.

it consumes

the mind and

salivates, just to

watch the drywall

rot and infest

spreading cracks

.

no longer within

the wall, but already

inside one’s furious

thoughts, seeking

a weaker barrier to

fully break down

.

until it reaches

a deep trench, where

all ends meet, and

the gap widens

just enough to drive

one quite insane.

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Filed under Poetry

the brightness of life

and at the end of

this asphyxiated

sunrise, what do

we have to gain?

was it a sense of

clarity, or simply

arrogant shame?

.

cross the threshold

hitting dead centre

the dark flags that

sheathed your eyes

will taint gold vision

with another kind of

negative space answer

.

because what was

left to pain, but all

the ones that were

cruelly left behind?

pretending empathy

while erasing names

off our fragile minds

.

too far lost to save

and recovering only

twisted histories and

rewriting our miseries

do you feel that sense

of serendipity, or do you

simply feel the same?

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pseudonym [2]

and i’ve lost my mind again

never again will i allow someone to

.

divide all the parts of me that

.

you unknowingly kept for yourself

cranium fractured like stained glass as

i wonder what you look like, with

.

zeroes in your eyelids and your arms

.

exploring worlds but barely missing mine

kindly spare me a penny for your thoughts.

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Filed under Poetry

take me away, sunray

you make me

feel so stupid

for a moment

i barely mind

.

painting all of

the memories in

my head and i

begin to unwind

.

you make me

feel okay—just

for a second

when i breathe

.

but darling,

that smile of yours

is gonna be the

fucking end of me.

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Filed under Poetry

distemper

heatstroke

urges resisting

chewed-up mind

simple cavity

extraction

.

ink blots

surface haze

tension; still

hold, hold, hold

eruption

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Filed under Poetry

hinged

unskilled hands

work brush

work strings

work pen

to bad results

.

uncreative mind

plain person

simply no good

art plus work but

it never works

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Filed under Poetry

Co-in-cide


“There’s no question
You’re the answer
I will find you.”


coincidences, that’s all they are. small, meaningless, stupid fucking coincidences. whatever you do, don’t overthink about it. don’t let it get to your head. and don’t you dare drag me down with you.

okay, listen up. fool me once, shame on me. fool me twice, and on the exact same instance? no way. something’s going awry here, and you have got to admit it. deep down inside, where you repress all the crazy things you hate to believe but still quietly cling onto, you know. you just do. it wouldn’t totally mess you up like this if you don’t. don’t you?

no, i don’t. not at all. and don’t act like a subversive condescending prick and proclaim that you do, somehow. the entire universe literally doesn’t give a shit about you, idiot. nor will it to anyone and anything else. so stop pretending that it’s something more grandiose and consequential beyond what it actually is—absolutely nothing—and leave it out of your life, goddamn it. and don’t try to convince me otherwise with all your tinfoil hat conspiracies. you’re better than this. at least, you really should be, anyway.

but what if it is? does it hurt to believe in the impossible, even for just a second? would it kill you just to be a little less empty than you already are? why? why not? what if?

what if, huh.

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Filed under Prose

wish

what i’d

give for

my brain

to just be

fucking

n o r m a l

for one day.

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Filed under Poetry