Tag Archives: mindless

Nightlight

This headache could be ended right now

And not a naive soul would even notice it

Besides the bedroom walls that whispered

About the blunt blades and sharp knuckles

That passed by them when every midnight

Grew dim and solitary and far too mindless,

And the innocent child that held violence as

Their only form of staying awake to stay alive

Caused them pain over and over and over again.

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a mindless monologue

The blood, the blood, the blood of the lamb
Is worth two lions, but here I am
And I slept in last night’s clothes and tomorrow’s dreams
But they’re not quite what they seem…

~*~

i need some therapy

and a hundred seconds alone

i need room to breathe

and support from the bleed

i need to stay silent

and talk my problems out

find another friend to bother

and do nothing but joke around

i need to admit something’s wrong

that i can’t do this by myself

i need to keep myself going

and be just a little more strong

i need bitter medication

i don’t know why i stopped

guess i don’t want to be an addict

my brain feels fogged and rough

i need to hurt myself less

throw away my blades and insecurities

i don’t want to keep companions

and end up in a fit of jealousy

i need to absolve all my mistakes

to stop hurting the people around me

always on the brink of an apology

i need to stop being—and feeling—sorry

i need to channel my thoughts safer

but i just don’t have the skill or talent

i can’t make anyone any promises

and my future is scary and hellbent

i need to keep on dreaming

but not too much to drown in the tides

i need to stop worrying neurotically

about what’s what and the right of rights

i need to be me and more than this

i want to figure myself out before it’s too late

to be assured of myself, the things i can do

to provide myself with no more of hate

i know i can never undo the long-term damage

caused by my self-destructive ways

but i know that i could always be better

than what i think i deserve—i need to change.

~*~

I can move mountains
I can work a miracle, work a miracle
I’ll keep you like an oath
“May nothing but death do us part…”

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the one

Only you can make all this world seem right
Only you can make the darkness bright
Only you and you alone can thrill me like you do
And fill my heart with love for only you…

~*~

how can i say

that i envy the chase

from the tip of my pencil

to your graphite gaze?

spitting my heart

onto an endless canvas

of greys and blacks,

hoping the red would stain…

but it never does.

only your floral words are

indelible on my skin

and the reverse

is just a lie i tell myself

so i could sleep a little better

every forsaken night.

the truth is far from your moon;

beyond all your pretty stars

and iridescent eternities,

it is despairingly beyond my fathoms.

but i hope, and again i hurt

for butterfly smiles

and deluding taciturn undertows

and nightmarish illusions

leaving bruises of you

on the very tip of my lost tongue

and all over my wept eyes;

a lifeless empty void

against the autumn shower

of your warm hermetic glances.

and there is no one else

to keep this rusted clockwork

ticking rhythmically to the beats

of your mindless cradle…

and that is the ultimate folly

of this ascetic destructive shale

that i tactlessly call my soul.

for a fool’s machinery,

this chemical heart is.

So indiscernible to lose itself in

such vitreous self-infliction,

and sabotaging the very blood

that my tiring arteries

now regain, thus to sustain

the very memory of your breath

in tranquil consonance…

foolish—and yet; a fool, i am.

a fool for believing that this

lie was past the dark side of the moon

and beyond my wounded stars

and lacklustre infinities…

you are despondently beyond my fathoms.

but i hope, and again, i hurt.

ma cherie, just how can i ever say

that i envy the calm reflection

from the incipience of your melody

to your coda’s revelations?

~*~

Only you can make all this change in me
For it’s true, you are my destiny
When you hold my hand
I understand the magic that you do
You’re my dream come true
My one and only you…

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metal & skin (xxxiii.)

it’s a banal addiction

it’s a hurting poison

it’s nothing but a self-indulged fight

it’s mindless, wrong

and they say be strong

but why does it feel so fucking right?

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Reanimation

You know that you had to know that I’d be on my way
It happened long ago there’s nothing more to say
And I don’t wanna be the one to tell you blood is on your hands
And I don’t think you realize or even understand so I say…

~*~

Now we’re just casual foes counting casualties

Waiting for a staid hello to recount the vacancies

But never leaving, never giving the pleasantries

At the back of our heads to shoot what we missed

.

Was there any answer? Am I just a necromancer

Bring back to life what was long gone, washing

My eyes to the sun to remind the sky forever that

The nights will bleed into red, and I hold the gun

.

Maybe it was too soon, maybe I picked the wrong tune

To sing at the funeral of a wedding march at the very end

Of the line, is it time, is it mine? What was yours to take

Every mindless mistake, yours to blame, yours to suspend

.

So go on, go on, it doesn’t matter if I get pulled along

This is my lullaby, only this night I’ll be sleeping alone

What was to gain from the concrete rain? Falling under

Going under, don’t hold your breath, this isn’t any better

.

Now we’re just casual foes counting, cashing our casualties

Waiting for the stagnant goodbye to enter the lost vacancies

Of the reason, of every treason of the damn good memories

At the back of our heads, I only wonder what we’ve missed.

~*~

Days go by, some good and some are bad, soon you’ll realize
It all goes by so fast and its over, it’s something that you can’t get right
Or maybe you just have no time, it seems like everybody’s gone
‘Cause that’s none of mine, you say that I’m just wasting time
But I would say that I’m doing alright, I’m on to better days…

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