Tag Archives: mom

The Tale of a Human Heart

I always thought she was perfect

Invincible, indestructible

Flawless in every way

I thought she cannot be wrecked

Cannot be destroyed from where she stood

Like Superman in disguise

And because of that careless mindset

I became a terrible person

I often caught myself scolding her

Reprimanding her, chastising her

For failing to do something perfectly

Like I thought she always does

Failing to notice the good things she’s done for me

And instead focusing on her minute mistakes

But did she shun me for this?

Shout at me? Tell me to stop?

No.

Instead she sucked it up and tried even harder

Tried to be flawless, to be that perfect person

That faultless person I always imagined in my head

She tried, even though it was slowly killing her

She tried too hard, and it was shattering her soul, little by little

Until her strive to perfection finally took a toll on her

And one day I saw her lying on the floor

Shallow breathing, bloodshot eyes, a barely conscious mind

And at that moment I finally saw her for what she was

Vulnerable, hurting, fragile

I screamed, I cried, I wailed in pain

When I finally saw my superhero collapse

And crumble to the ground

She had a terrible sickness, the doctors said

It was eating her inside

They looked at me with pity and regret

As though they could understand

And when I sat next to her hospital bed

That’s when I finally realized…

She’s only human.

She’s not Superman, she’s not a god

She’s not perfect, she’s not sinless

She’s just human, like the rest of us are

She laughs, she cries, she gets angry, she feels

She gets hurt, she bleeds, she has a soul

She’s prone to sickness and even death

And what did I do? Try to get her out of bounds

Pushed her to her limits, make her achieve the impossible

But because of my stupidity, she paid for it instead

She took the fall when I was the one holding the ax

I’m so sorry, darling, I couldn’t be good enough for you

She said in between shallow breaths

I’m so sorry I had to be sick

No, don’t say that, it was all my fault

I replied as I held back tears

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry

But saying sorry doesn’t matter at all now in the end

As her eyelids started to flutter, and her heart started to slow down

She caressed my face one more time, and I held her close in my heart

And she finally whispered her very last words

I love you, mixed with the sounds of the flatline

The final judgement for life

My tears fell so fast, there was no point holding them back now

The woman I had to brave for was gone

Yes, in the end, she was just another human

But to me she was the most important human in the world

I guess…now it’s too late to say that to her though

But there is only one thing I know in myself

And I know that she does too

The only words she needed for peace

I love you too, mom.

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