Tag Archives: monochrome

Shades of You

Grey, that’s all there is now.

I used to be the brightest iteration of alizarin crimson, and I wore my lustrous colours proudly on my chest to disguise the bloody cancer secretly tearing irreparable holes inside my slowly-withering system. So bold and reckless I was, that soon I found myself losing full control and suddenly careening headfirst onto your blue brick wall, and well…the collision was more violent, more radiant, more spectacular than you and I and anyone else could ever begin to imagine. No freshest shade of unhealing bruise nor deepest sour of aged wine could ever compare to the stunning explosion of blinding indigo we left on the scene of the accident, that day. The perfect way your incandescent glows and mine contrasted together and exquisitely showered the atmosphere, it was rather exhilarating.

But like everything that’s been left out under the sun just a little too long, the vibrant hues we initially adored and reverently shared started to quietly fade; akin to a rampant disease viciously working its way past our frail bodies, fingertips first. We could do naught but weep dull stardust as we held ourselves together in the tightest embrace, in the desperate yet ultimately futile hopes that we could still preserve our deteriorating youth—that if we hid away well enough, we could keep even just a sliver, even just a sleepless teardrop, of the resplendent spectrum we once thought we would carry along with the siren songs of this universe forever.

But in the end, it was all for nothing.

Soon enough, you had strangely turned into a serpentine shade of lucid green, and my hazy eyes began to see nothing else but charcoal wastelands and bleeding ash. Oh, how we’ve both drastically changed. And maybe not quite for the better. Still, I don’t wish to stain your newfound emerald gleam with my obscene tenebrescence, so as much as it caused a solemn ache to my soulful bones, I decided to completely detach myself and stay away from you for the time being. Instead, I’ll simply attempt to completely capture your eternal likeness onto pure cotton canvas—resolutely translating all of those clashing galaxies and kaleidoscopic tones into softer stencils and lifeless monochrome.

Perhaps someday, if I blink the awaiting future away and press on my eyelids hard enough, it might conjure back even a stray phantom of the forgotten iridescence that your dull, graphite-sketched countenance used to boast; gentle pastels warmly seeping in and bringing back the dusky ochre in your hair, the cloudless afternoon horizons back in your irises, perhaps even reviving the blushing cosmos of your clever lips, boyish and lazily smug as it twists into an elegant sunflower smile. The worst kind. The kind I somehow find myself missing the most these days.

But for now, grey is the only undertone I unfortunately possess. And it’s the only way I could captivate your ephemeral memory to return home within my gossamer dreams night after night after night, until my tiring lungs finally let go of my last saved breath and I inevitably coalesce into a sepulchral heaven—a bleak, distorted paradise where I’ll be doomed to roam with fellow spirits of black and white, for deathless infinities to come.

And after then, after then…who will be left to remember your name?

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Filed under Prose

aesthetic

I see meaning where you don’t, where you don’t
I see waves of pastel orange and yellow paintings fire
I see futures that you won’t, that you won’t
I see futures where our nights are lost to condensation…

~*~

i see a future

in your smile

and a dimple

with a bruise

eyes that light

a jar of fireflies

and could fill up

an ocean trench

that button nose

twitching quaint

and slightly red

from bad pollen

ears perk, listen

for symphonies

and hear out the

sourest of notes

lips and tongue

in soft half moon

which you never

wane to a full one

as eyebrows that

raise in quick wit

miss the eyelash

that grants a wish

with zinnia tresses

in springtime wind

you use it to hide the

blush in your cheeks

i see grey and colour

blacks and whites in

that simple mind that

wanders far too much

it’s too bad you don’t see

the same way i do, and you

only see time ticking seconds

away from your quiet beauty.

~*~

Running through the cold air
Searching for a meaning
Passed out on the concrete
Dizzy from the spinning
Wake up to the feeling
That everybody’s leaving…

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Filed under Poetry

Saturni Ad Infinitum

~*~

CHANGE OF PACE

To see the clouds dragged down in vain

Another schism pulled away into disdain

An aftershock of cyanide writ in red letters

The austerity banished and again embittered.

~*~

MIKO

Disconnected dissension dwelt in maiden shrines

A lone voice seeks peace in a tempest of rigid design

In precarious erudition and fraudulent disputation

As her ebony tapestry is burned in laureate predilection.

~*~

DELLE PIOVERE

Recherche glistening in rusticated reveries of diamond dewdrops

An avalanche of labyrinthine dreams brimming to the cusp

Illicit, a monochrome heart searches tranquility in the midst of dissonance

Nihilism whispers for each staccato beat, as behind the pale moon, shadows dance in elegance.

~*~

TAKING BACK RED

Notches on the canvas that used to be the purest of white

Now reduced to common insanity, pilfering a virgin sight

Chagrined wish never uttered, held at the back of interface

And hope—against hope, that the ruptures will be erased.

~*~

CHASING FOR A GLIMPSE

Just tell me when you’re down, and we can go downtown

To paint the rain with auburn blues, draw on every smiley face a frown

Just tell me when you’re not alright, and we can stay all night

To pen about storms in chemical black, write until you take back the light.

~*~

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Filed under Poetry

heartaches painted in grey

i want a million diamonds

from the sky to shatter my perception

and allude my verboten tongue

.

waiting for florid ice and fire

to thaw in each other’s grasp, aureole eyes

flickering against the soft dimming of the lights

on and off and on and off and on…

.

these hearts don’t belong

to the bathroom stall

and your paperback tales aren’t mine

.

i wish i could collide my mouth with the promises

that you will never keep from me

and i wish you would climb out from the

black screen that you hide under

praying for a sordid memory

.

though they say it isn’t meant to be

but another distant heartache

spilling oil paintings at the back of my

monochrome cracked skull.

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Filed under Poetry

I am dead.

I still retain my physical form, well, yes indeed

And I still possess my body, my skin and bones, my seed

But I might as well be a cold corpse, with my heart getting rust

With my soul slowly wilting, my core turning to ashes and dust

.

Sallow skin, sunken and bloodshot eyes, a disregard for other human life

Cold blue lips, a blank stare, a soul built up on endless lies

A zombie, a living dead, a talking corpse, the walking undead

A man with no heart nor soul, but still remains his brain, his head

.

I live monochromatically, in black and white, not technicolor

A day goes by and all I see are gray sunsets and blurred fervors

Dark sunrises, muted colors, a dank and filthy human race

Black here, white there, the same old gray sneering face

.

Then why bother me? Why can’t you just see?

You’re not living, you’re locked up, you’re caged, why not set yourself free?

What is a world without chromaticity? Without any bits of color?

Why not just whip out your gun, your knife, your noose, your razor?

.

Is there even a point in living? I mean, why bother to live?

Why bother if your emotions, your feelings, your core, have already started to leave?

Why not, huh? Why not die permanently? To stop this torture easily?

To finish this endless parade, to end this stupid charade

.

.

.

Because…maybe, just maybe someday, someone can discover my lifeless body

Maybe, maybe, that certain someone will try their best to revive me

Reclaim my soul, color my sight, breathe life into me once again

Revive my still pulse, electrify my unbeating heart, remove that thrusted knife

…But, I guess that it will never be bound to happen

So for now I’ll just cross my fingers, keep waiting, and keep on living my cold lifeless life.

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