Tag Archives: monsters

beautiful creature [spoken word poetry]


(uhhh idfk but here’s an absolutely terrible first actual attempt at spoken word poetry bc my rationality is severely dysfunctional ooft. sorry if i sound very weird. and talk very bad. i’m not exactly radio voice material but i tried?? i sound so annoyingly manic here that’s because i am and no one’s probably gonna listen to this so what am i even making excuses up for. this is far from my usual content but 2020’s a year of trying dumb regrettable shit i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)


beautiful creature

i am jealous of you,

beautiful, tiny, skinny creature.

beautiful, tiny, skinny, pretty

do you not know how it feels

to be so frustratingly jealous of you?

perhaps you do.

perhaps you wrap a ribbon around

your waist and your wrists and grab both ends and pull hard—

until your organs start to embrace each other

and the lack of blood makes your cheeks glow

beautiful, tiny, skinny creature

so pretty, perhaps each freckle on

your perfectly angled nose is mirrored

from every constellation in the sky

and your smile never grows crooked

because you practice in front of the mirror everyday,

lifting each corner delicately until the wind fixes it

into that permanent, enchanting look

beautiful, tiny, skinny creature

watch how they so adore you,

an undivided attention filled only with

wish-i-was and want-to-be’s and maybe-if-i…

but i will never be

you. beautiful, tiny, skinny creature

i pull at my ribbons until my veins start to show

but it snaps in half and flies back to my face; oh, my face,

whose spots reflect the craters in the dark side of the moon

and every time i try to smile, it’s a lunar eclipse

“witchcraft!” they call it

but which one am i?

beautiful, tiny, skinny creature

beautiful, tiny, skinny, pretty

our monsters are the same,

but why do yours look so

god damn beautiful?

when you speak, it hurts

and when i listen, it hurts even more

you can’t talk to yourself like that,

beautiful, tiny, skinny creature

there is someone out there who will

willingly ask for all your monsters

i’ll make them behave, i’ll take care of them, i promise

and you’ll still be beautiful

and tiny, and skinny, and pretty

and i’ll have more monsters

but i will still be

me.

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Nightly Vigils

her broken fingers trembled

as the vivid scars on her pale neck

drew another drop of blood

and dripped down her cotton gown

.

the dim lamp pulled back

arches of demonic silhouettes

sleeping beside her with

their fangs bared beneath fragile flesh

,

she was terrified to move

even a sinew or a twitch of a muscle

frightened that she might get hurt

scared that she might feel pain again

.

the stars cackled their sympathies

in the cracks of the closed venetian blinds

and the moon was like a watchful eye

under an impairing blindfold

.

the night was dragged by the ticking

of the ancient pendulum clock

every now and then clanging boastfully

but she didn’t flinch; no, she daren’t

.

simply lying there in silent agony

without a warning or a clue of

the dust that gathers in her eyes like

the old tears she couldn’t shed anymore

.

and her incensed thoughts were louder

than the wailing, moaning, and screeching

of the vile creatures she was damned

to remain in ill-fated company with

,

she gritted her teeth and clenched her knuckles

as the abominations stirred, squirming and

writhing in her mattress, and every touch

felt like a thousand tiny pieces of rusty razors

.

her catatonic body was stiff as a corpse

as she counted the hours until morning arrives

when all the monsters disappear from her room

so she could stop holding her stale breath

and bandage her freshly-cut wounds.

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The Home Inside My Head

I’m getting pretty good at leaving, my patience isn’t wearing thin
Autumn never ends in my head, no matter how far I’ve been
It feels like everybody is the branch and I’m the leaves
Falling from the top of every leafless tree…

~*~

Seven lies, to make up for the ones I spent on you last night

Veneration and admiration melting into stained-glass spites

Memories triggered on the revolver with an empty chamber

A diamond bullet for each bloodstain that I fail to remember

.

This is way more complicated than smoking on the dashboard

And sitting on the basement stairs, tying another noose’s cords

An apartment with a single chair and a couch to accommodate

The monsters that visit my bedroom when I am staying up late

.

Doorways without a doorknob, a stone key without a brass lock

A broken doorbell with a barren picture frame, so please knock

Provisions of diverse renditions settling in moth-frayed drapery

Your overplayed excuses taste like naphthalene on dust bunnies

.

Under the lampshade where you hid those secrets and the baggage

You stowed away with hallmark cards and epipens for easy storage

Brass tacks and rusty corkscrews can’t alter the sound of voicemail

Last year it was our symphony, now it’s just another ire on the scale

.

A ghost of the tenant occupying an abandoned and decrepit residence

Ancient tales of foreboding snatched by shadows, gaunt reminiscence

The home inside my head feels much more spacier with a lodger gone

Past vacant stares and for sale signs, perhaps it is time I end my haunt.

~*~

The home inside my head has a bed for me
That no one will ever get the chance to see
A kitchen table with one chair, walls with
Empty picture frames no one will ever see…

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Beasts, Burning, Bloodshed

I’m keeping the monsters warm

With my own blood and self-harm

They lick away every sedition

Ripping apart each single conniption

.

Teeth like carved metal tetanus

Dark with every slurring and cuss

As alcohol shuts down the bane

Intensifying the numb of the pain

.

Another fucking demon to encounter

My own control I couldn’t conquer

Sucking away all the shades and colour

Until all there is to do is surrender

.

Black roses thrive by the grave

Of just another nameless great escape

Damnation’s all there is to save

Again and again, my sanity is raped

.

The sulphur blister and brimstone bite

As solemn shadows devoured the night

Death decreases my chances to survive

But these feral beasts are keeping me alive.

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Vincent’s Starry Night

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer’s day
With eyes that know the darkness
In my soul…

~*~

Vincent, the lost pastel colours, they forgot to light your golden stars tonight

Brush strokes faltering and swirling on your ceiling, a tapestry of navy sights

Vincent, you were simply complicated to fool the monsters within from the start

Your artistic chagrin and tortured soul kept ripping your palette emotions apart

.

Vincent, they all laughed at you and they mocked away such a beautiful mind

But if the madness was your universe, who knows what dimensions we can find?

Vincent, you fathomed yourself a disgrace, deemed creations amount to nothing

They all stumbled in your labyrinthine mind, thus resorted to insipid excoriating

.

Vincent, now you’re gone, and the village mourns for a sun extinguished too soon

You watch them above as you paint the landscapes, reminiscing on the blue moon

Vincent, you were always a warm summer sunflower, and my quaint antebellum art

They may not have truly understood you, but you have always rekindled my hazy heart.

~*~

And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night
You took your life, as lovers often do
But I could’ve told you Vincent
This world was never meant for
One as beautiful as you…

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Purple Ink (an adventure in absentia)

You accidentally slipped in purple ink and died

Because you were busy pacing, too preoccupied

Chewing nervously on the end of your dented Biro

Accentuating every last thought with a sigh hitherto

.

Upon waking and discovery, you jolt in a dazed state

Your dirt-beaten striped sneakers noisily squeaking

As you dusted yourself and held your awaiting fate

You began your unlikely journey and start travelling

.

Wandering lost upon a forestry of a wildlife mind

Every thick foliage a verdant idea finely efflorescing

Every path an untraced road of the life you left behind

Crushed carmine blossoms plucked away and wilting

.

No sense of direction. Where are you? The lunar ostentation

Pierces into your amour-propre, setting it blindingly alight

With your foolish absurdity, in bland starless observations

Of the complacent monsters you’ve yet to encounter and fight

.

Chasing after creeping vineyards, when their wine is parched

Do you understand? They’ve nothing left to give your thirsty soul

A paucity of the former, this broken forest you vainly marched

What’s the endgame to this latent excuse of a failing goal?

.

Your sanity has turned upon yourself, hordes of screaming demons

That reach for your insatiable hunger, in a lusting of the brain stem

Where’s the exit? Where’s the exit? You attempt vainly yet stumble, gone

Reaching for the light at the end of the tunnel as they devour your lumen

.

Consciousness prods at your eyes, the form of an almost irritating light

Hear an alarm of a beeping machine like a metronome and salty liquid

Your head shall be fine, you’ll recover, doctors assure your ghastly sight

Their placated shiny smiles of false relief dripping disgustingly insipid

.

You accidentally slipped in purple ink, hit your head, and yet surprisingly survived

They said it was a nice miracle, but then again, the Vatican fabulists love a good lie

For the creatures slopped their saliva all over your cerebrum, infecting you thereon

Think it a ludicrous story? Dear, you should’ve seen that slimy ink you stepped upon.

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The Angel By My Bedside

When angels fall with broken wings
I can’t give up, I can’t give in
When all is lost and daylight ends
I’ll carry you and we will live forever, forever…

~*~

I lay cowering in my bed with some salt and a glinting knife

As they lurk by the foot of my bed, ruthless creatures of the night

Wraiths and monsters and ghosts and shapeshifters galore

Wendigos and werewolves, shadowy demons in their pure raw horror

.

I’ve tried to fight back, to find my instincts as a hunter

There’s no one left to protect me for they’ve both gone, my mother and father

And my bold little brother, who sits and fights beside me too

I try to keep a brave façade for him, but I know he could see it through

.

What’s little of our protective bed is being shaken, slowly being torn apart

We’re both standing on our tiptoes as we slash at their unbeating hearts

But then we feel a touch at our shoulders, a radiant light fills the hopeless room

Our angel has finally heard us screaming, and saved us from certain doom

.

Hearing our desperate prayers when every angel turned a deaf ear

Cast out of heaven and rendered weak, and yet he still rebelled from what they feared

The angel by my bedside, taking great lengths of risk to protect us outright

Ensuring our bed of hope never crumbles, and always providing his ethereal nightlight.

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Filed under Fandom Poetry, Poetry

Perfect Insanity

Painful thoughts wildly envelop my sad, crazed, broken mind

Every single word is all static, every single sight garbled and wrong

Rotting in isolation, my own shattered sanity I couldn’t even find

Freaky shadows and grotesque monsters have been lurking for oh-so long

Every corner, every part of my mind, are haunted, housed, destroyed by all those

Crazy, insane, psycho, just plain mad, I’ve been a long-time host

Those thoughts that are clouded, all faded, tend to break my mind the most

Inside my tortured soul, I’m screaming madly for some help, some salvation

No one seems to hear though, no one seems to even care

Save my life, save my mind, stop me from unraveling my faraway creations

All I ever asked for was some rest, but I guess life’s just not simply fair

Neverending toxic emotions and feelings flood my entire polluted life

It leaves me all torn up, fills my heart with infinite hurt and strife

Though no one can see me, I guess I’ll just have to be happy

Yes, because I’m living my life in perfect insanity.

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