Tag Archives: night

Febfair

Pondering all alone

Sitting with cold grass

Between curled fingers

And unfinished coffee

Making lips quite sticky

My unplugged earphones

Afraid to make sounds

.

Myriad stands flickering

With flashes of neon colours

Selling dresses and candy

And music and rowdy revelry

But just tell me, Mr. Vendor

Please, where can I buy

Someone to walk with tonight?

.

The crowds passing by

Friends, family, familiarity

Cheering, laughing, enjoying

When there is none for me

Surrounded by old strangers

White noise for humming ears

White noise for sad eyes

White noise in my tired mind

.

From thinking about eternities

Until there is nothing but space

Lost and loved and lost again

An unsent greeting hovering

Anxiety creeping and crawling

As I patiently wait for a person

Who doesn’t even exist at all.

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Beyond The Pale

Pull the trigger tight and watch our distances explode
If Texas is forever, where’s your home sweet home?
If anything should happen to me, I want you to know
I’ve loved you since ever since then…

~*~

Up there, where the sky looks a little less blue and a little more like the love we used to have

That’s where I’ll be headed now darling, that’s where all the stars go to die

Five thousand years and a minute wasn’t enough to make you stay for the night, so I’ve

Set my sights for the southern lights, but won’t you at least say goodbye?

.

The cold in my hands are getting worse with each passing sunset I wasted on your breath

The diurnal dreams and burning cash, the handmade kisses stippling your shirt

Expect me to return before the moon forgets I wasn’t there, and my shadow falls into debt

With the tear stains on your bedroom wall, did you really think it wouldn’t hurt?

.

Like cigarettes and patron saints, I’ll always come back to haunt the corners of your lungs

Like aching sighs and floral lace, your promises falling on another eternity

Like half-opened novels abandoned facedown on the coffee table, like the last calls left unsung

Like the bullet on my throat you placed as you knew you couldn’t leave me

.

Down here, where the ground looks softer, but only before the final crash starts to strike

Where will you be headed now darling, did you ever ask the stars to lie?

Five million years and minute more, and I would have made you stay for the rest of your life

So set your mind, take the northern lights, I won’t be there to say goodbye.

~*~

Don’t dance around me, I know what it means
No communication cannot be received
But I’m such a sucker for the rain…

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happy hour

IMG_20191102_205745848.jpg

cigarette smoke

hangs heavy in the air

dizzy dizzy daydreams

i know i won’t care

a drowsy companion

and blue drip on my lips

the world is way too loud

four minutes away from sick

the way the music throbs

like a toothache in my ears

blaring guitar against my grin

another round of shots and beer

maybe six more for the road

and another, just to melt away

like the ice between our shoulders

and the night that’s left to stay.

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voyeurism

conceal the past

wipe your filthy mouth

but your bridal dress

is quite sleeveless

and there’s too much

blood to staunch now—

now am i your perfect

silent witness?

.

the curtain protesting

against my hunched

body, you thought it was

just the midnight wind

billowing, but it was the

breaths i failed to hold

shallowly enraged and

almost fucking deranged

.

as the unspeakable acts are

fed to me live right before

my eyes, i want to throw up

i want to stain my melting mind

with a heavy dose of ammonia

and scream to god, and scream

to stop, let my oxygen burst into

flames from immense friction

.

disgusted beyond rationality

i can’t look away, my skin shudders

as i seem to hear yours being viciously

torn apart with a sickening rip and

a sickening crunch and a sickening

laugh—but why was it yours, shit

why the fuck was it yours?! eerie calm

ensues but i’m afraid to come out

.

from my flimsy hiding place—all before the lights

turn off and a shadow shifts in front of me…

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tabby blonde

you showed up

in my dreams

last night again

and i thought

that was that

.

but just when i

thought i’d awake

’cause it couldn’t

get weirder, you

turned into a cat.

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bygones

We hear that rumbling song in the distance
It’s coming closer, but we don’t like to talk about it
The sticks and stones won’t build you a home
And every word, it will exert you ’til you’re done…

~*~

hear me scream

your pity in disguise

verses reimbursing

an arcane surprise

so go find the me that

dripped down your

throat like madness

and felt like a cold

decimating the decay

or so i’ve been told

.

a night of encounter

faded into sometimes

sessions in the theatre

to remind you’re not mine

withdrawals attacking

this most awful defiance

but maybe if you don’t

find me out to fix me up,

soon enough, i’ll be able to

avoid this unexposed romance.

~*~

Where do we start
If we will end apart?
Where do we go from here?
It’s head versus heart
It will all be clear someday…

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pseudonym [5]

align the circumstances, hold crossfade

nebulae nightfall, slow ebb and cascade

dazing daylight dying out to desecration

younger aspidistras, bloom of cataclysm

.

chasms christening the edge of this infinity

imperceptible yet infallible, my invincibility

zoetropes of crushed sympathy hold back a lie

elysium and eloquence to pray forth when i sigh

kerosene for my lips, my bones to scatter the sky.

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The Victim of the Hour

Take the empty bullet hanging from my neck, why don’t you?

Why don’t you? Just take and lodge the last remaining pieces

Of the picture on the wall (where you used to pound your fists)

Into the judged severity of my severed jugular, maybe that

Will mend it medicine man, maybe you will find me again

(Barely breathing) Barely breathing just after that horrid sound rang

Through the night? Yes, through the night! The neighbours’ screams

Were not much louder than mine—pity—but it isn’t an awful contest

Just injustice in motion (you see) and you killed the only person

That was trying to set you free. Free the trigger, why don’t you?

Why don’t you? Are you scared they’ll come after you, after me?

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Don’t Slam The Door When You Go Away (You’re Starting To Bore Me)

Somewhere darker, talking the same shite
I need a partner, well, are you out tonight?
It’s harder and harder to get you to listen
More I get through the gears, incapable of
Making alright decisions and having bad ideas…

~*~

pointless reciprocation, calling up our meaningless demise

you watch over me like a beguiling raven in disguise

crooning, you know I’d kill for those blackberry-bruised eyes

.

don’t need to count off three, two, one—i know what you mean

i’m already there darling, set the fucking mirror on fire again

and decide if you want all the scars pulled off of your skin

.

in the closet, seven minutes, but i don’t need your tongue

to tell the inside of my mouth that we’re both having fun

i swear i’m already out of it, trying to reach for your sun

.

is it under your dirty shirt? behind that crooked smirk you wear?

is it in an open bottle of jäger and a late-night truth or dare?

go ahead and spin it faster and faster, you know i won’t be scared

.

of the monster in the midst, under your bed, against your lips

i never wanted a body, i only wanted to hold my breath before i sink

you wished to be clever, here’s your chance to win me overthink

.

were you trying to lie? handed me a smug smoke to hide it?

my phonebook’s full of strangers, something you won’t admit

but i’ll suffocate on your cancer, still addicted to that bullshit

.

so what do you say, next morning’s only one car crash away

and i won’t ask for coffee or minty words on the pillowcase

i only ask that you keep your secrets well-groomed and safe

.

from their mindless impersonations, falling out of our defenceless paper skies

i watch over you like a commuter in your passenger seat, trying to play nice

go ahead, you know i’d die all over again just to be the only one that you despise.

~*~

Now it’s three in the morning
And I’m trying to change your mind
Left you multiple missed calls
And to my message you reply
“Why’d you only call me when you’re high?
Hi, why’d you only call me when you’re high?”

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somewhere in balington drive

you’re every

city street

i picked tender

flowers out from

the ones that

bloomed from

the footsteps

you left behind

on rough pavement

as sodium lights

slept and doors

closed to the rhythm

of a hypnogogic

reverie—hush

but not quite still

silhouettes shifted

bodies left imprints

some alleyways

left a window open

for latecomers

and lost stragglers

and outsiders

i being one of them

but there are no

open anythings for me

only the bitter taste

of neon grey and

a last-minute wave

as you held your breath

and the flowers fell

from my shaky grasp

but there was no one

else around to pick

them back up

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