Tag Archives: notes

Temporary Weather

and i’ll catch up.

i’ll stumble out of this blackout, even if it takes more than a few scars and stars and more than a few yesteryears

falling apart and over and down and out and again but never giving in and saving the old lies for the worst parts of my life

left in the past not made to last

i used to believe in you but i don’t believe myself

but now maybe there’s a sliver of faith left over for the both of us to have, if you’re willing to share

you’re doing better now. you’re doing fine more than ever. though you know that stability won’t always mean permanent happiness, you’ve found your comfort in the cold

and the sun, little darling, is slowly warming up to you

and i’m happy for you. i really am.

with your pretty floral dreams, in technicolour. beyond the vale, no longer fit to be called mere dreams. sweet pastels. exquisitely tangible. mine still exist only at night

hiding beneath the darkest shadows and crashing through shut jagged windows and seeping deep like charcoal into my nervous system

and most nights, i can’t even sleep at all

but i’ll shut my tired eyes and make a wistful wish, i’ll keep my sleeves clean for the magic tricks, i’ll bare my levitating heart for the ones that i love, maybe they’ll be amused by it and raise their lips, maybe they’ll simply dismiss it and hate the cheap theatrics but

i’ll hope, still. and i’ll wait. and i’ll create. until nothing becomes something becomes everything becomes

infinities. a second of a lifetime. time. i have time.

and i’ll catch up.

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Filed under Prose

luna cielo

for there never was

and never will be

a finer vagrant soul

to poetically allude me

than the billows of notes

that fall from your shade

and the stars in your lips

to sing a thousand serenades

dear, if only i could compose

about all my woeful throes

in lights enchanting as yours

no word a wasted recourse

and the aesthete that lies

beneath restless amber eyes

will dream up a promise

for fallen eternity’s premise

where the universe spins

as relentless time should be

and no whispers of parallels

between the lines of you and me

i’m quite dizzy from the sun again

but i’ll close my hands, count to ten

and wait against such fragile hope

that you’re the sunrise to decode

so why do i weep, ever still?

in the midst of my bedroom floor

only bare remnants remain, until

a voice paints a distant nevermore

of faithless keep, an endless rue

tomorrow’s heart, nor i nor you

southern nights, quaint afterglow

the days pass on as we’ll quietly go

i may be weary, yet do not think

i’ll give up when i’m on the brink

let’s chase the wind, and we’ll ascend

to an everlasting paradise we can spend

for there never was and never will be

a finer valiant soul to poetically allure me

than the muse of the moon and billowing notes

that fall from your shade and the stars that you wrote.

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Filed under Poetry

A Happy Kind Of High

I know that there’s no dealing
With the way I’m feeling
I’m so out of touch with everyone 
And everything’s a blur to me…

~*~

I’m super high on happy

The dopamine nearly kills me

Bouncing like an excited puppy

Smiling wears me all the way to revelry

Slightly crazy, mostly high

But right now I’m too stupid to die

I may have ditched the walk to town

But playing sour notes won’t get me down

I could talk about love all day

But don’t get me wrong, ‘cause it’s easier to say

Than to complain about my cold coffee

The sugar tastes sweet, laughing over candy

I’ll never be royal and I don’t wish for gold

But I just don’t want to do as I’m told

I might have missed another point

But keep your eyes off me until you appoint

Life in blue and colour-coded pastel

The empty picture frames I have can go to hell

I may be tired, but there ain’t nothing to it

And I won’t stare and quietly sit

Because I love songs that scream, songs that dream

Songs with titles ripping at the cover’s seams

I love songs that I can dance to at the top of my lungs

And songs that don’t make any sense, I won’t leave them unsung

Made in America, from Houston to California

A wild party in Baltimore, childish theme parks in Florida

From Australia to England, each road and tour a trip

For each minute I walk and listen, ain’t anything I’d skip

I’m dizzy and frisky on this unfamiliar feeling

My hands raised in devil signs, my feet touching the ceiling

I’m confused, almost passing out from hysteric serotonin

But still I want more, enough to take me all the way to heaven

I’m super high on happy, and I will write a million words

About my eccentric thoughts in this square-cut world

Because I may be sad all the time, but that doesn’t mean

That I’m not allowed to have fun, and in the rarest times that I do

It’s more than what I need to carry on and crave life again.

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Filed under Poetry

northern headaches

The August sky will then bare witness 
To a brand new chapter with torn up pages 
When the planets align, I can feel the gates opening 
To my courage as I proceed to run my fingers through her hair 
And forget everyone who’s jaded, ’cause they don’t matter…

~*~

sometimes i wish

that the northern lights

would disappear

at the tip of my tongue

and fade out into

blustering brushstrokes

of roseate evergreen

as if it was the words

to my seraglio symphony;

the distracting g-clef

submerged under an array

of spinning notes that dance

under the flimsy ebony

spill of the midnight breath

inhaling once, twice…

whispering woes of another

nightingale’s serendipity

bracelets interlacing the velvet

skeins of a dream that i once

lost…and i’m still losing…

i wander past vertical fields

and topsy-turvy ravines

until my footsteps are no

longer mine—to keep,

to feel, to trace with the

tip of my quill and ink

and i recede; as the nimble

mimsies that blush a vibrant

pastel on my flushed lips

kiss me a somatic farewell—

sometimes i wish that the

northern lights would never

melt and falter away.

~*~

Brash and hopeful 
That my luck will not perish tonight 
And when the overcast tries to kill me 
It’s your slow motion rain 
That falls warm on my neck that keep me alive…

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Filed under Poetry

tipsy musical notes

So I take the long road to think and wonder
Why I can’t sleep with all this sunlight
If there’s still evidence of us
Why can’t that be enough?

~*~

five a.m. serenades

with a smile that’s built

on the colour of dawn

and a soul that’s stabbed

with voodoo needles

crying blood in the distance

screaming out the name

that it shall nevermore have

annihilating love begging

please, please, please

darling bring me back all

my quagmire stars and

never leave me stranded at

the back of your head

oh darling, please stay away

and fucking come closer

.

five a.m. serenades torturing

spinning the rotary arteries

nonreciprocal delusions

hurting me so fucking much

the cyanide in my tongue

begging please, please, p l e a s e

drown me in the madness

murder the blue moon again

to make me lust for more of dusk

and darling, oh please, please

please don’t depart this brainsick heart

without a final limerent requiem

ending with our mishap beginnings

and shove sunlight in my lungs

to keep me barely breathing

so i could feel your pain some more.

~*~

I’m guiding your chin to my lips
Using only my fingertips
All we have are parking lots and nowhere to go
If you love me, then show me more…

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Filed under Poetry

Nightfall Notes

You remind me of a former love that I once knew
And you carry a little piece with you; we were
Holding hands, walking through the middle of the street
It’s fine with me, I’m just taking in the scenery…

~*~

Residues of a timeline leisurely spent

Promises breathed easy, given to vent

Turnpikes taken and sick forced down

Traded daydreams by the gilded crown

Unexpected rejuvenating fells of shower

Courtesy of an erratic downpour weather

Music humming past veins of a blue moon

Wish I didn’t have to go home quite so soon.

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Filed under Poetry

navy blue

calm as a lost

shoreline, quiet

like cold winds

of navy blue

with stares that

can disenchant me

fingers on paper

thumbmark clue

sail navy blue

call the abyss that

drowned all the

captain’s crew

spinning daisies

of cobalt white

autumn oranges

medieval new

harrowing me

navy blue songs

notes on the

scale of nixed rue

navy blue boy

watching sundown

the faint stars are

yours to pursue.

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Filed under Poetry

love notes in a dirty bathroom stall

For people like you
There is no such thing as an early grave
You wanted to gut my dreams until I was empty
And show everyone my remains…

~*~

i’m pissed off.

i ended up locking

myself inside

to avoid your fit

under cyanide

oh, you and your

showoff machines

always ruining

me and my sleep

if i knew any better

but no, i don’t

i’d say you’re such

a control freak

face the crowds

on the clogged sink

the mirror foggy

like how you think

let’s take this

under the water

drown me in words

i feel much better

you’ve got the nerve

to bitch about all

this shit, fine, let’s

all go from there

but if appearances

were to decide

you’re a tramp by

what you wear

clean up your act

please, clean up

your filthy mouth

accuse me of

running when

you’re lucked out

’cause you’re such a

hothead, you’ll

impose instant war

on anyone who

dares touch your line

and i’m the general

i’m camped out

you got one shot

make it worthwhile

slam me on the

tiles, as worthless

and just as vile

so shoot me with

your guns, shoot me

for fucking real

i may be the one

with bulletholes but

at least i don’t

have to get up to deal

with the bloodless

games of one fuckless

foot-slipping rabbit

’cause i may not be worth it

and you can heave on my

porcelain pink toilet

but i just don’t have the time

for any of your bullshit.

~*~

And after everything you put me through
I should have fucking pissed on you!
Thank you.

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Filed under Poetry

Nevernote

This addiction

Is a starker violation

The vinyl record

Is scratched with words

The soft serenade

Hits me like a grenade

The notes I’ve cried

Makes a new song aspired.

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Filed under Poetry

Guns and Roses

my flowers are collapsing

onto a waterworld’s song

if i plucked off each petal

maybe they’d weep along

my flowers start colliding

in musical notes of wrong

like constructed stars of metal

i know the lyrics to a lost song.

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Filed under Poetry