Tag Archives: oblivion

long nights

Oh, how its raining
Oh, how the water falls
Into the safe things
We tried to set in stone
I can’t replace you
I can’t escape you now…

~*~

it’s gonna be a long night

without your stars to count

this time i wonder if the planet

breathes without a pause of doubt

i wish the ocean was as blue

as your feather words and halo eyes

i close away my mind just to think

there’s no sugar without a hint of spice

but under the bed where flowers bloom

the sour notes never leave your arms

and the nightlight illuminates my dreams

where loving you does me no harm

but i lie to myself as i lie awake

wondering if giving up control was my mistake

ivory piano and sheep lulling desperation

as i await the end of an endless oblivion

i can only wish i didn’t feel this much

as i lay down my thoughts without a sound

and without your skin to be my respite

i know it’s gonna be another long night.

~*~

But I remember the nights when you’d lie with me
Where we’d talk and we’d touch and we’d fall asleep
I wake up in your arms and I’d feel at ease
But now its just me and I lie awake
And I toss and I turn and I see your face
When I wake from a dream it won’t go away…

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third time’s the charm (when you’re lying to yourself)

finished finished finished

did my unfulfilling day’s work

afternoon reduced to chains and shackles

dragged like fingernails into the dirt

sweating sweating sweating

baseball caps melting in diligence

and left to suffer insufferably

under the severe heat and silence

aching aching aching

temples snap like rubber bands

not in the mood for smiling

i wish my headache would understand

.

static static static

music reduced to scatters

dragging deluded spirits further

into abyssal underwater

pacing pacing pacing

the zebra crossing inch by inch

hoping that screeching tires

would run me over like roadkill

waiting waiting waiting

for the tears that never come

frustrated and sedated

feeling betrayed by the sun

.

tired tired tired

to the very frayed nerves

a day’s worth ticking down the clock

each hour a penitence served

flinching flinching flinching

at the blood that whispers taunts

set me free and let me be

let sharp edges be your miscreant

broken broken broken

by the stress that’s making out

with barbarous depression

and violent-red lies heading south

stop it stop it stop it

but i’m too numb to even protest

i’ll just fall back into a devoid oblivion

and let my weakness take care of the rest.

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Weightless

Make believe that I impress
That every word by design turns a head
I wanna feel reckless
I wanna live it up, just because
I wanna feel weightless
Cause that would be enough…

~*~

Right now, I think I’m alright. My orbit is spinning steadily, caught in constant motion against the gravity of greater stars, keeping me from flying away and colliding with other astral bodies. The stars I rely upon are simply breathtaking. I deign to taste their enthralling radiance, but I’m aware of the impossibility of such a foolish notion, so I simply content myself to revolving around it lightyears away, thanking it silently for keeping me in line as I admire it from afar. But sometimes, for no discernible reason, the gravity weakens, and for a moment I break and drift away, attempting to pull back to my tether, terrified that I may never be able to bring myself back to that gravity, to the only thing that’s keeping my from crashing and vanished into oblivion within a black hole, forever lost in the infinite void. Hydrogen flares in my atmosphere and almost burns me up, as I strain and strain and strain back to that star, to that planet, to my solitary source of hope and light that always falls out of reach, to no avail. Then, to my great relief, the gravity slowly returns, returns to take me back in its reassuring grasp, returns to make me feel safe, and I can breathe easy again, comforted in its halcyon force. But as I continue to spin around the star, I wonder when the day will come when I finally drift too far away, too far for the gravity to reach, too far for the star to save me, too far gone. Within me, an earthquake deepens the rift, spreading veins of crevices and cracks, making prominent, irreparable faults, my molten core’s coriolis barely holding me in. And I wonder, I do wonder, which one will win the unwinnable race, which event horizon will occur first to end me. Will I fall away or break apart?

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Filed under Prose

dormir

Let me rest

And shut down

To recover

And heal myself

Let me sleep

I’ll just slip away

Into oblivion

Don’t wake me up.

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Oblivion in Alluvion

Carry on and write a song that says it all
And shows it off before you die
Take a little breath before you catch an
Early death, there is so much sky…

~*~

standing out

in the rain

where i could stay

for hours

my heartbeat, it

slows to a lull

and my

hands lose

their tremble.

i meditate;

eyes closed,

tasting petrichor,

hearing the

grumbling thunder,

fingers drawn to

skyward bloom,

drowned in

reveries…

as i feel the

rivulets

of heavenly tears

cascade

down my

fingertips and

torrents

dripping down

my peaceful visage

and water

kissing my skin

ever gently.

lost in a cool

daydream,

a blank slate

of pondering inside

my tranquil mind,

rife with

contentment

and solipsistic

notions,

knowing that

warm soup

and hot coffee

and a tea cosy is

waiting for me home

even though

at that moment,

i was already there.

as the rain

slows leisurely

to a languid cease,

i gaze at the

atmosphere

and bade the

fugacious weather

goodbye—

although i’m

tinged with a sense

of melancholy,

for with my

aqueous companion,

mine empty soul

has never been

quite more

fulfilled, more

purposeful and

alive.

~*~

Hey, you’re fine
I wanna listen to the radio
Driving down Calexico highway
And now I know the signs for sure…

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Filed under Poetry

Ah, where art thou, sleep?

As I busy myself with chewed pencaps and entertain my arid whims with my bleary cursive handwriting, coalescing into one big scarlet mess before my jaded sinking eyes, this mischievous (and perhaps bordering on draconian) mistress persists to continuously allude me. Several times I have attempted to drown under the mystifying spell of dreams, yet it always ends up rejecting me and spitting me back gracelessly into reality.

Dislimned restless nights are spent huddled beneath a timeworn yellow duvet, alternating between intervals of irritatingly scratching inflammatory mosquito bites to no avail, and musing such desolate thoughts, as my frenetic imagination takes my tired brain by the hand (stem?) and chases rainbows and cemeteries with it. Sighing, laughing, cringing, longing, regretting, reminiscing, changing channels constantly in my head, until I’m ultimately left with dead batteries and a static screen, stuck staring slack-jawed at a dancing monochromatic display, lulled by a comforting dissonant white noise, into a dark insensibility.

So instead I turn my feverish mind off, allowing it to repose and cool down, and look up onto the astronomical midnight firmament, watching the chaste trace of the soft cottony moon doze on lazily by, and bask in the myriad stars’ winking, pulsating, flickering, a show of spectacular scintillation; positively illuminating these lacklustre graphite pupils of mine, making the languidly-burning embers in my heart flare wildly and higher, as if doused with tantalising spirits, as if wishing to rival the stars in space, as if reaching out into the galaxies to occupy the missing lacuna in the skies it calls home.

Slumber is calmly lurking within the sibilant raven shadows, waiting patiently, sharpening its bladed claws, ready to pounce upon me in my most vulnerable state, and finally devour the last detritus of my falling somnolent consciousness. But in the meantime, it’s just the company of my insomnia and I on a nocturnal picnic, in the comforting solace of a clement Luna and a million optimistic stars, into a tranquil oblivion.

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Filed under Prose