Tag Archives: passion

Eternal Paradise and Heaven Beyond the Veil

“I’m not meant for this world, I just don’t see the point…don’t think about it, don’t overthink about it.”

~*~

Beyond everything else I ever learned

As the blanketed flames writhed and burned

A heart and a home under their siege

Must they conjure nightmares, my liege?

.

Glass eyes shattering with bated breaths

Scent of redolent perfume and elegant regrets

Listen to the rain falling in lethal shards

This parade was neverending from the start

.

Ghosts pulled away from their resting place

Labyrinths and dead ends, I’m trapped in a maze

My hands are cold and my skin is lifeless

For every transgression I have yet to confess

.

So undress my lungs, uncover my secrets

Your bare naked spine won’t ever try to forget

Terror and beauty’s ripped apart from the pain

Another silver ring tarnished to remain

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My intentions were obtuse and reasons perpendicular

I never thought we would ever come this far

And you stalled the light of your car headlights

To prepare the blind for the eternal nights

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Drag me behind your chain as I laugh and you miss

My broken bones dangling over an ocean abyss

For all the friends we fought for and ones we gave up

A bleeding battle wound that has yet to stop

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Cry as you destroy my remaining insanity

Save yourself and I’ll hold myself back, maybe

I say it’s time to call it quits and just run

There’s an ulterior motivation behind this smoking gun

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Abandoned worlds colliding with the stars I left

And how dare your sempiternal soul for fracturing itself

A perfect thing to ruin as it sucks the colour

I’m divine yet not fine, for this cancer lasts forever

.

Signals of lust sign under jagged-edged rocks

Rage beneath the silken sheets ceasing the noisy clocks

I’m stained and trained to live alone, bother me not

On my arm, your lipstick leaves a bruised spot

.

Count the million train tracks we walked to find another horizon

You stole my sight as I blinked once, so please kill my vision

We’ll learn to die alone darling, separated in our own company

And we will dream of the paradise that a hurt heaven won’t provide me.

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Allegories in the Curious Case of the Breathless Gentleman

I’ve never so adored you, I’m twisting allegories now
I want to complicate you, don’t let me do this to myself
I’m chasing rollercoasters, I’ve got to have you now
Endless romantic stories, you never could control me…

~*~

Parking lots crumbling against an apartment of beige

In a wasteland of boys and girls, this will be my stage

I’d pull you a mouldy leather chair, or do that yourself

Screaming for hotels to keep the change wouldn’t help

.

There’s no control to be gestured in graceless romance

I’ll tip my hat at your beauty, give the bellboy a chance

There’s a luxurious room that’s reserved for two bodies

Over silken blankets ma cherie, let’s amuse the vagaries

.

Adrenaline shot like cocaine hearts of a powdered nose

Abandonment issues left me but it never felt more close

It’s nothing but anger dripped in crystalline-frosty blood

What makes you think you can seduce the angels of God?

.

The tightrope you used as floss, it snapped in your fangs

And I’m the funambulist that falls away as you have sang

Hiding all the abraded blisters from holding butane knives

For you I’ll devour inedible love, I’ll find the sharpest lives

.

Falling asleep on saline soldiers and flying sordid strangers

Your neck is getting bruised but you love imminent danger

If we wake up at all, I will look for a way to cancel your luck

But if the bullets still pierce you, I’ll yell out harsh, oh fuck

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I was never quite crass, but this disease makes me so reckless

You’re stepping on my tailcoat, don’t worry about it, princess

I always adored your stories weaved on your lace web gown

The way your blonde hair billows back, shatters your crown

.

Here we are now, crashing and colliding in orbits saturnine

I’m burning cold, and you’re deathly hot, but we will be fine

I’m such a sucker for the rain and each of its mercurial pains

Hell and if I pull the trigger, now, what will be there to gain?

.

So I’ll dance in my boundaries and I’ll stay on the thin lines

If my arms don’t cry again, then I’ll take that as a good sign

For a sunset I chased and the chimera monsters not allowed

As the sky’s pulling me back for the nightmares I said aloud

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Help me say goodbye, it’s the curdled poison in my delegation

Like contempt on champagne glasses and dwindling devotion

But don’t miss me too soon, have no fear, shed no wasted tears

I was never too charming, but in my wake I’ll be regally austere

.

So inhale infinity deeply and suffocate sanctity on an obscene eternity

Shame you have no shame, my beheaded queen don’t lose equanimity

I won’t be here in a year anyway, so you and I have got the most to live

I’ll provide you half of my oxygen, love, so you won’t be able to breathe.

~*~

Well I really never thought that you’d come tonight
While the crown hangs heavy on either side
Give me one last kiss while we’re far too young to die
(Far too young to die) Far too young to die…

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Pretty Girls Don’t Deserve Movie Seats

Tell me what you want until it hurts, I’ll hang myself in lights
And I will glow for you, the colour, oh my god it says you
Spinning on this circus ride, we’re farther than we’ve ever been
Stuck in zero gravity we laugh (I think we’re in over our heads…)

~*~

That rasp in your sweet nothings

Tastes like a glitch in the system

Harmed soul so genuinely poetic

I’m catching your heat by a stem

Palm trees and fireworks colours

No alcohol takes away the effects

Of your fingertips, in dreams sour

I can’t sleep to conjure pink death

Cigarette burns on my wrist sting

The dark sunset behind is glaring

Silver rings intertwined your skin

Your confession was not for a sin

I wish I had someone else willing

To disappear with me, I escaping

In pencil lead grey, floral emotion

Victorian ceilings, high as passion

Pray for pain until it starts to hurt

So fall for me, as I’ll crash for you

Local scenes with a reckless spurt

Southern boys paint their sky blue

Against the monochrome filmstrips

Of a grainy romance noir yacht trip

Plastic props and makeup mayhem

Directing takes in a chaotic tandem

I swear both my martyrs eyes’ll haze

Carry me home to a castle lush gazed

You promised me turbulence or spite

It’s a blessing and a curse, can’t deny

You recognise every smile of the sun

Interplay with constellations on a kite

I’ll be the indigo dawn, spilled as I run

Resolutions on a backseat reel tonight

And under the shadow we will whisper

Exchanged melting hearts soft as butter

Whiskey and sobered, on velvet theatre

As exit signs glowed red like a hangover

Tomorrow, I’ll be too wasted with lights

But oh no, I just don’t care about heaven

And if I have the chance to hang myself

On the moon, for you love I’ll do it again.

~*~

I can’t deny it’s getting worse
Trust me, it’s a blessing and a curse
Call me if you’re crashing, we’ll take turns
Hello, welcome to Southern California
Now go back home!

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Perforar el Velo

D-d-d-darker now
Kicked out and sleeping in your car
You roll the window down
Enough to dream and make-believe
Our lights knocked out
Turned upsidedown
I’m just a stupid motherfucker
Can’t figure it out…

~*~

Your chainsaw voice tears me apart

The beat in my dead system, it restarts

Raw soul flirting with the ocular lens

Until nothing anymore makes any sense

Dark chocolate kisses sent back to hell

You’re the light at the end of the brick well

Smash your instruments into innocence

Declarative imperatives doused on defence

Tattoos on my wrists, piercings on blades

Like a chemical rush, like a mechanical tirade

Hoodies black as thunder, caps snapped back

Ready for misadventures, impulsive attacks

I wanna run away to visit homesick San Diego

Let my broken legs carry me back to Mexico

I wanna feel every coldest sting of your hate

And retreat in a wasteland alone to detonate

Let’s tour the world with your open hearts

If I have to leave it all, then I would still depart

I just wanna be a part of your wasted laughter

And then find myself drunk as all hell later

I’m as slow as a turtle, as graceless as a giraffe

Prickly like a hedgehog, a monkey with a gaffe

You don’t trap me in menagerie, where I belong

Instead you make me feel human with your songs

Colliding selfish shamrock against coal blue skies

So send the vultures away, please go away to lie

Pesticides and gasolines no longer in my drink

Bullet breaths no longer hazy, and clearer I think

I know I’m not talented and I’m not charismatic

And I simply have a damn flair for the dramatic

But someday, I’ll punch life first and I’ll make it

It’s your faithed eyes persuading me to break it

I’ll sell my tears as bail, and I beg please don’t let me fail

And I’d rather die with you than to leave a fresh blood trail

You are the singular reason why my devil wings can still fly

And darling if I had you, then fuck, I wouldn’t ever need to cry.

~*~

So now we’re gonna chase the moon like fire
Together we can fake our own deaths here
Just wanna be alone and watch as
You all just disappear—oh no!
Just wanna be alone and watch…

Why can’t we be alone and watch?

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Heaven’s Host of Holy Harlots (or; Her)

Now I do recall, we were just getting to the part
Where the shock sets in and the stomach acid
Finds a new way to make you get sick
I hope you didn’t expect to get all of the attention
Let’s not get selfish, did you really think
I’d let you kill this chorus?
Let’s get these teen hearts beating faster, faster…

~*~

.

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Testosterone and pheromone clashing on purple stars and narcotic sweet talk

You don’t have the money to pay for me honey, so empty your whiskey and walk

Paint me a picture of lascivious lackeys and jejune Johns glued up on the ceiling

It’s a risky risqué, a flaccid falsification, don’t you wanna genuinely force feelings?

.

The audience applauded your strip club scene lauding until you caught the clap

Your bedroom bulbs burning your bare back, the director yells cut! It’s a wrap

Decadent sweat and flimsy nightdress, a godmother touch of ghetto beatnik

But don’t let the acids shock your head, cameraman, attention to the chick flick!

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Rusty bobby pins that stab my dollface like she’s a patchwork quilt, a girl voodoo

Addicted to anorexic magazines, counting every stretch mark on her waistline

Your latest triple-X films didn’t do so well on the silver screen, adultery’s no clue

No one loves you anymore, you’re just another passé blasé belladonna landmine…

.

~*~

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You downed your roofies, curled the pills against your tongue, and woke up

With a broken nose, and swimming in blood and vomit in the bathroom tiles

Replay the night where you infiltrated and massacred the innocence enough

A sledgehammer kills your brain and limbs splayed on the counter to defile

.

Ideology and irresponsibility, edification of evanescence you coldly brandished

Through clenched teeth you feed and consume, suck the bones of the sun dry

Ate the Big Apple through the core, and yet you’re still starving and famished

Safe scepticism and sober sessions, but darling you won’t get better if you try

.

Bulimic bullying coating the lining of your stomach, sinking like wrought anvil

Don’t wanna look like a lookalike, so you crawled in your bed and spindled Advil

Hollow helium and hearts splattered on the wall, as this boiling passion simmers

I’m left with horseshoes blasting hand grenades, you sauntered away to canter…

.

~*~

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{3}  {M}{A}{R}{Y}{A}{N}{N}{E}  {C}{O}{M}{P}{A}{S}{S}{I}{O}{N}

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Too young to be cynical, too old to whine, dramatic design of sedentary sophism

I’ll attend your recital and pray on budget guilt, quavering on false catechism

Gospel eyes focusing nauseous as I’m making out with the cusp of the booze

Until I’m sulking and subdued and shit-faced and I got fucking nothing to lose

.

My ten dollar words are too costly, my immortalised chronicle barely illegible

You’ve got the propensity my dear, be my choreographed sculpture eligible

Gisella won’t sing about the beautiful forest when both her parents are dead

Sauté arabesque, my mermaid ballerina, dance the charade under my bed

.

Contemplate going on a date with your executioner to get out of arraignment

A coldness to infect hypothermia and escape, burn the flag to ride full extent

I’ll wait for you and rendezvous, guzzle motorcycle serotonin on the gas station

You’re my getaway and my regime, without you I’m just another human violation…

.

~*~

.

•4•  •R•A•C•H•E•L•  •D•O•M•I•N•A•N•C•E•

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My maiden of lilac blossom and fragile plexiglas plays dirty, go past the curfew

Your ceramic bones and silicone nerves aren’t making it fucking obvious for you

Kiss my gnarled knuckles hard until it bruises and let the blood be your lipstick

I’m a repeat offender you keep going back to, the stalker burning out your wick

.

Rub the wet sand in my dry eyes, sever your umbilical cord off my bluest neck

So put your revolver down for me Annie, this fantasia wonderland ain’t got feck

All the oxygen in my lungs rushed out in a cyclone breath, my blood evacuation

My teeth are tingling at the sight of your old smile, you’re giving me palpitations

.

Luciferin in your neon glow lights, a femme fatale and a courtyard miscreant

You’re a dangerous incentive, infamous explicit actor, and that’s what you want

Your illegal wink can cause insanity, your sun freckled dirt nose abating injury

They won’t sojourn the court and bend your lithium cell against a case of perjury…

.

~*~

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|5|  |H|E|R|  |S|C|A|N|D|A|L|

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My darling virgin porn star stubbed her crushed heart by the bedpost late last midnight

Those ruby stripper heels and fuck-me eyes whispered a freak beneath the bedsheets

Aphrodisiac of varnish and musty paint, we don’t need a school bell to start up the fight

Getting intimate with perfect strangers, selling sex and slipping on stagnant love for free

.

You came and took me out of your floral mouth like I’m just a repulsive decaying tonsil

But my love, I missed the way you called me persecutory names under the windowsill

Start with after-hours in bars, end up screwing up in cars, I’m your backseat confidential

One foot slammed on the brake as we careen out of control, don’t die, you’re too special

.

I can taste the prevarications on my neck, leaving saliva and bile dripping down my warm nape

It’s too fucking late to return past all our selfishness, it’s more than your shaking body can take

My darling virgin porn star, you’re just a funeral wreck, and your life’s a hellbound shitty wake

If you strained yourself and stained your velvet coffin, will you laugh with me until your soul breaks?

.

~*~

I got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any boy you’ll ever meet, sweetie you had me
Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving
Of exchanging body heat in the passenger seat
No, no, no, you know it will always just be me
Let’s get these teen hearts beating faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?

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I wanna be the tattoo ink that swims down through the needle in your skin

I wish I was poisonous
Like a bottomless sound
Like a violent drug
Do you remember the knife I kept?
The sharper it got, the more
You wanted me to use it…

~*~

The night sings in slow motion, a stagnant riot of a melancholy latin church chorus resonating past the intricate stained glass windows, the flourishing finale guitar lick of a spanish melody that makes one’s heart leap past the curtains of complete composure. It was a rare opportunity to pause from life and a welcoming silence to embrace, and I was taciturn and brooding as I rested leisurely by the window ledge, smoking a Cuban cigar and contemplating panoply discussions rather thoughtfully. The breeze pushed past my weaning figure roughly like an impatient passerby, and for a moment, I appeared to teeter like a child on a seesaw, yet the fall at the other end never arrives to weigh down and elevate me back into several tangible seconds of an innocent bliss. There was no avoirdupois balance to bring my poised dangling toes back to touching the soft cool earth, apart from my own sanity, which always felt to me as gossamer as Arachne’s bone-white sumptuous silken hair.

And that’s all it takes for me to fall.

You weren’t there. You were never there. Last night you awoke in a disgusting bathroom stall on the underground tube, heaving your guts out to the non-too-catchy tune of the robotic announcer’s grumbles of ″Mind the gap.″ blaring through ancient dusty static speakers. Today you clutched a lock of your chewed trichobezoar hair along with a half-full bottle of Smirnoff and fell asleep under the kitchen table, next to the cupboards containing the jar of my uningested sleeping pills and your used ammonia and muriatic acid. But I was there. I was always there. I was the one who drove all night to find you and ran through four red lights to get you to the emergency room, and I was the one who spent several nights in a filthy cell at the police precinct, and paid in cash for both hospital bill and bail alike. Tonight, I’m the one who delicately carried you up a flight of spiral stairs and tucked you in meticulously on the cool bed that I fixed, and cleaned up the mess you made on the checkered linoleum tiles downstairs. You wrecked, I repaired. We cancelled each other out.

Just another usual midnight scene in this household.

I took a long drag and blew a sophisticated whorl of hazy plumes in spiced smoke, as the stars behind their screen of fumes appeared to shimmer a faltering skeletal grey, like a waning spectral hallucination. I always pondered dear, why our tongues, once a tangled and byzantine affair wherewithal, akin to the finest spool of golden thread, are now mondegreen against silver blades, screeching as it collides with the other, unpleasant and tinnitus-inducing. I was a halcyon sun. You were a hedonistic black hole. Prayers against passion, felicity to furtive, love over lust, gambol or glamour, inspiring despotically versus indulging decadently. It was always imbrications of forbearance, an insalubrious provocation of two people on the opposite side of the boxing ring, fists clenched, knuckles raised, prepared to throw the first punch with a ring of the bell. I wondered why I was so attracted to a dangerous force. I wonder now if I am a magnet, repelled by the same force, gravitating towards my polar opposite, difficult to leave once it pulls me into its charms and mysterious allures.

…No more shall I be fettered to you.

With a lassitude I wasn’t quite aware I possessed, I senselessly bit down on the tattoo of your flowery name embedded into my dermis, tearing with crooked dull stares onto the unflinching moon and gnashed dull teeth tearing numbly at the surface. I kept at the insane task until all that’s left are rancid shreds of muscle and skin, a rusty stormed bleeding out of oxidised scarlet dissolving against indelible black, the wound gaping wide like a mouth frozen in a scream. I didn’t flinch nor whimper, neither yelled nor reacted, throughout the immense pain of it all. I may have cried, but only because the winds were getting pervasive against my trophy eyes, and every droplet of tears that fell on the raw savaged cut stung badly like the astringent words you slurred to me before you passed out. With every bite I tore out of my maimed arm, it felt like an absolution, the atonement of your sins on my understudy role. My redolence was always an envious fragrance, but somehow your alcohol breath and sultry sweat manages to linger chokingly, stubbornly sticking in my skin like this godforsaken tattoo. It was all for you, all for you and more, do you understand?

But not everything is permanent, sweetheart. Not this night, not your name writ in pain…not my blinded sentiments for you.

I finally ceased with my thermonuclear breakdown, quit rending myself apart, physically and emotionally-wise. It was no use, yet I felt strangely cathartic. The effect was a chill down my spine that jolted lightning and candy-coloured breaths through my frosted oxygen, a shudder of a bittersweet one-night stand under the deathless Vegas lights, a morbid fascination of an angel standing solemnly in the morgue. The searing pain began to settle tauntingly in my tattered nerves, and it seethed as I wiped the blood off my lips, quite familiar to the taste of it all, reverting the vibrant colour of my mouth into its usual sickly pale pallor, creating an eerie Rorschach test of a splattered heart imprinted on my ivory-washed sleeves. These wounds I inflicted on myself shall heal. This ragged white shirt you bought for me on my birthday two years ago, I can drown in chlorine and detergent to get rid of the stains. The scar tissue that will be left, I can learn to tolerate, to ignore, to simply accept and live with. I am, at the best of the optimistic prospects despite my elsewhere wayward actions, free.

So why does the thought of you still fucking hurt?

But no. You were still resting in my bed, corporeal and very much concatenated to reality, and I can’t erase you like I did so to your inked name ever so brutally. You looked so goddamn beautiful as you slept through everything cozily, soundly dreaming of a million raining halo lights of neon glow in oblivion; and I was bloodied, jaded, and sunken as I watched the remaining shards of my waxen mutilated skin flutter downwards like grotesque snowflakes in dessication. I leaned in closer for a better view, almost losing my hold on the ledge and falling, as the scintilla pieces of a fractal violence and shorn sadism began billowing downwards elegantly and dispersed murmurously into the open salty breeze. Soon it shall waft out and travel farther than I’ve ever been, to a faraway fantasy land where some foolish child will stick their quivering tongue out and catch the puzzle pieces of the letters of your name between their grinning teeth, a poetic crassness. Fragments of you, that’s all that remains.

And that’s all that’s sempiternal.

~*~

I was lying to you
But you were lying too
So what’s left to do, what’s left to say?
Stop making friends, just us
I’ll decompose with you…

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Vee Symphony #02/#10/#83

No, no more eyes to see the sun
You slide into bed while I get drunk
Slow conversations with a gun
Mean more than I’ve ever said
To anyone, anyone…

~*~

Breath in hyperventilation

Force control of emotions

I grasp at straws but I fail

With your passionate gale

Smirk that concludes hell

Deepen like wishing wells

The ghost of a former cry

Left before the altar to die

Sound of acoustic heaven

The chambers are all even

In the lone you charm past

Cremating a flatline to last

What is it with your blood?

You are a contagious ache

Gasolines burning sunsets

My butterfly heart in stakes

A detention, soft yet risqué

All rescinded as you played

If victory, it was the sleight

You, Vincent’s starry night

Tear me apart, a whirlpool

On your slow drain words

I will find home by myself

Let me stumble by a kerb

A million ways to kill stars

And thousand ways to die

Three minutes is all it took

A split second before I cry

Autumn skies are too late

Their songs tasted of pain

But it’s always your ending

Going straight for the veins.

~*~

So keep in happiness
And torture me while I
Tell you ″Let’s go in style″
A million hooks around
A million ways to die
Darling let’s go outside
It will be alright…

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Throwing Cheap Bouquets by Juliet’s Balcony Stage

Please won’t you push me for the last time
Let’s scream until there’s nothing left
So sick of playing, I don’t want to anymore!
The thought of you’s no fucking fun
You want a martyr, I’ll be one
Because enough’s enough, we’re done!

~*~

Abandoned brains dripping on the cold spiral staircase

My crumpled train station tickets wiped them all away

The nights were as sober as 5 AM Jack on the rocks

Reset reverse repose and smash a hammer on the clock

.

You’re like a spoke in my heart, like nails through my teeth

Let’s slow down the sound of pain, ’cause you taste so sweet

I’m like the chlorine in your skin, like the poison in your cure

Maybe I’ll inject the moonshine once again just to be sure

.

You’ll never see my face in the movies as you always should

But babe it’s tough to dwell on the surface of Hollywood

Endgame of a bloodless artery, and I’m the rebel subsidiary

I’m the heart attack in your nightmares until you wake me

.

Am I confusing? Or complex? Am I the nuclear home you wrecked?

Are you the cannonball that hurtled past and broke clean my neck?

Breaths frosting over glass like a harsh blizzard in the winter

If I’m the martyr dying on a cross, then maybe you’re the sinner

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You mixed suicide in my bloody scotch and you left me to rot

If I’m jumping off the bridge, then you’re my second thoughts

You’re the puppy crush love and I’m the old dog you put down

You hanged me by my collar in the gallows with a silent frown

.

We were screaming at each other in the most perfect harmony

If you were crying or laughing at the end of the line, I can’t see

You dosed my soul with whiskey and you sang a metal lullaby

And when I passed out from the hate, you crept out, no goodbye

.

So listen, wake the fuck up! Who the hell are you to die on me?

If you’re searching for some peace eternal, then I guess I’m sorry

I wrote your name on my mutated wrists with a blunt safety pin

And the scars on my lips won’t fade away anytime soon, darling

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So don’t you go away now! Who the fuck are you to fall apart on me?

The razor blades in my throat won’t be swallowed with your fake sorry

This turbulent liquid passion made us crash on the tides and capsize

But if there’s a heaven waiting baby, then it won’t have a place for your lies—!

~*~

You told me think about it, well I did
And I don’t wanna feel a thing anymore
I’m tired of begging for the things that I want
I’m over sleeping like a dog on the floor
Imagine living like a king someday
A single night without a ghost in the walls
We are the shadows screaming take us now
We’d rather die than live to rest on the ground!
Shit.

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A Moral Travesty in the Local Cabaret

Girls love girls and boys
(Sophisticated, manipulated)
And never did I think that I
Would be caught in the way
You got me…

~*~

A most arrogant sophistication

Chins tilted to the moonlight gleam

A simpleminded denomination

Surrender control and nitroglycerine

Their fugitives dance and drown

Blue as the cold bodies on rivers red

Heaven catches your nightgown

Assembling philosophies you’ll wed

Harlequin boys applaud cavalier

Ordaining their Divine Interventions

Picasso girls wipe off their tears

On the cathedral altar manipulation

Burlesque drag queens on Maine

Tiptoe under blacklight streetlamps

Wipe your collar of lipstick stains

To a last full show, one night stands

Dignified heroes caress starlings

For you, I’ll shed skin on spotlight sets

This cabaret act is proving tiring

So darling, pray for passionate naïveté.

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Ubiquitous

It hurts like a twist of a blunt scalpel wedged deeply within my broken ribs, this. The bitterest sensation of not having it all to myself. Not keeping it as my decadent secret locked away. Not being able to catch my own fairy in a glass jar. But then again, I suppose it cannot be called a fair game if I don’t collide with the oncoming moon and leave a gaping hollow crater on the playing board, in order to get severely damaged. I can only pray for redemption silently, as I find myself rousing once again under the maelstrom of dust devils that even the most tantric nonexistent winds from the atmosphereless astral body cannot disperse of. The remorse that comes with the dice roll comes so naturally, it’s almost selfish. Almost conscientiously demeaning. Almost guilt-inducing. Almost.

Because despite all the elsewhere tragedies that have gracelessly transpired, lacerating me with scars under my tongue and at the back of my hands, I simply won’t bleed diamonds from my wrist from foolish emotional distraught; rather, I shall forge an envious solidarity of the toughest steel element and hope within my frazzled nerves fervently that someday, God looks away. There is no reason to grieve, no reason to stain my pillowcase with rain, no reason to be asinine against the inevitable. I have the better set of cards in this shuffled deck. For they may weep for the dawn and admire the sunset, but I will always have the sun to myself, no matter the point of day and weather. That much, I can keep my faith on.

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