Tag Archives: pathetic

The Girl With The White Bracelets

Oh, pretty girl, keep batting your eyes
‘Cause when you breathe you lie, lie
Oh, pretty girl, you better think twice
‘Cause second chances are rarer than I
How can we forget who we have become?
I’ll give it all up, please wake up
Every breath you take is a lie…

~*~

She asked for death, and who was I to refuse

She got sick of the radio and wanted the noose

She didn’t want another dance, just the last one

She sold all the bullets she had just to buy a gun

.

She was sick and she was tired of feeling pathetic

She didn’t like the smell of the hospital antiseptics

She was the class-act patient but she was no victim

She fixed her wounds but got worse off and broken

.

She screamed for mercy to taste all their cruelty

She was running away from all their emergency

She emerged from hell, to be thrown back again

She asked for demise at the tip of her bloody pen

.

She tried every method and every single execution

She went by the blades, gas, a wrongful transfusion

She beat her body in bruised painting of a night sky

She didn’t look for any help and nobody asked why

.

She was the girl that I still dream about in my head

She was the girl I wanted to save from this deep red

She was the girl begging for this chance, but instead

She’s the girl who is restrained and laying on my bed.

~*~

How did you ever see me broken?
Well, you forced me to find out everyday
Did you ever see me open?
Well, you forced me to find out everyday…

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Worthless Words from a Worthless Wreck

You’re too kind to me, you know that?

I don’t deserve absolution, or warm comfort, or reassuring words, or a steady shoulder to lean on when I cry. I deserve atonement, a punch in the face, a cold scream to strengthen up, I need tough love and tougher hate, because I’m far too spineless for my own good and I shouldn’t be stagnantly melting and caving in to that unwieldy trait anyway.

Do you like hearing about my problems? I don’t honestly believe that. Even I’m so sick of listening to the same old shit that I speak over and over again. Whining about problems so trite and unreasonable, even the purest of angels will certainly hate me for it. Oh, I’m sad again. Big fucking deal, so are a million other people out there, but do you see them complaining? No, so I should just suck it up and shut up about it already.

But I can’t, and I don’t. And you unknowingly get caught up in the middle of this ugly mess.

Just like any other rational person out there, you must think I’m rather obnoxious. Petty. Disgustingly needy. I know that’s not your nature, but still, I understand that, though. On the contrary, I understand it more than anyone else ever will. I know I push everyone’s patience to their breaking limits. I hurt and I hurt, and I’ve hurt other people, and I’ve hurt you, and I’m not worth my time or space, and neither should I be yours.

I’m sorry, but the truth is the truth, no matter how much it makes all the repressing lies in my fucked-up brain seethe indignantly. I’m always so pathetically selfish, but I sincerely never wanted this for you. You’re a decent soul with the best intentions and better people to spend your life on. I’m a bad person. I’m a bad friend. I’m always going bad. So why, just why are you being so good to me?

You’re too kind to me, you know that?

That’s being too cruel to yourself.

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A Fool That Stands For Nothing

What good is a life
When you live it ashamed?
I dream just to be halfway
But all I am is a product of
Wasted efforts and best intentions…

~*~

I should have let the rope hurt me

Before I let it fully embrace my breathing

I covered the hope with a black curtain

So I wouldn’t have to see disappointment again

What did I expect? That it would disappear?

That I have everything to gain and nothing to fear?

I fought against reason and wasted my life scared

Asking for every idle chance from a god that wasn’t there

Now they all smile sympathetically and say it’s okay

You weren’t the ones that failed, so how would you know?

Every inch of comfort is uncomfortable and sickening

And every movement from the side is insanely slow

I should have seen it coming, and damn it, I really thought I had

But my head is stubborn and twenty doses of stupid, and I wanted it bad

I act like I’m so clever and apathetic, when all I am is pathetic

I never wanted to let you down, but I did…I fucking did.

~*~

We do this while you start wondering
If disaster is what you’re built for
Will I slowly learn to accept
That I won’t have more than a life on the sidelines
Or will I always be dreaming
Of liking life from the darkness alone?

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despair

i might know

a thing or two

about bad sides

and semantics

but your volatile

desperation and

petty attachment

reeks of pathetic.

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Cutting It Out

When I look in the mirror 
I know not who I see 
It’s hopeless, I’m hopeless 
But I’m not sorry for what that I’ve done
They had it coming, we all die someday
I do what the voices tell me to do…

~*~

I want to cut myself open

And come back inside

The recesses of my bones

Broken and pathetic tonight

I want to slit my smile

From my ear to my throat

And I’ll choke myself to sleep

Drunk on blood and bloat

I want to scar myself absurd

Hanging on to every word

That I wrote all over my hands

I don’t even understand

I want to be bruised or bitten

Torn apart and be smitten

By the throes that keep me up

They never want me to stop

I want to cut myself to shreds

Crawl back inside my cesspool head

I don’t want a body that betrays me

In a life that doesn’t even want to take me.

~*~

It’s always easier to kill 
When you’re already dead inside
Lock me up ’cause I’ve lost my fucking mind
Rock back and forth, it kills me, it thrills me
Rock back and forth, to see you dead…

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teeter totter teetotaler

“I want devil horns, I wanna breathe in your rush…”

~*~

pour over

like the gin and tonic

you’ve been nursing

this entire night now

saying you’re pathetic

.

throw out

the shame you’ve had

vilifying every notion

and sense of rationality

numbing your emotion

.

break down

like the shattered mirror

in your now-empty pocket

cracking under your weight

saying that you never had it

.

clean in

the disaster you started

with unsteady shaky eyes

and red bloodshot hands

saying it’s all in your head

.

sober up

wasting these days are over

and this escape is peripatetic

whatever you think you took

saying it’s all simply bullshit.

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Filed under Poetry

Bleeding Eyes See It All

Every second’s soaked in sadness
Every weekend is a war
And I’m drowning in the déjà vu
We’ve seen it all before
I don’t wanna do this by myself
I don’t wanna live like a broken record
I’ve heard these lines a thousand times…

~*~

it doesn’t stay the same

every shredded inch

is just another reason for

you to patch it up and change

just so your bleeding eyes

could do some further damage

.

every lie soaking you in

they say it’s just a futile war

and the darkness is a myth

but you’ve seen it with your

own bleeding eyes, so you

know that it actually exists

.

and they tipped the avalanche

that buried you deep under

but refused to take responsibility

pushing your head underwater

but your own bleeding eyes

have seen it all before

.

and it doesn’t stay the same

every invoice on your shredded arms

is just another pathetic excuse for

you to erase it and start over

until your bleeding eyes could

shed their shallow tears no more.

~*~

We should feel the love so painfully
It hurts right to the touch
I know it stings, I know this cuts
And I wish I could agree with you
But this love is not enough.

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Haters Gonna Hate: Ultimate Diss Track

Alright, you had your turn

At the spotlight microphone

Yelling names down my ears

For the whole crowd to hear

But now it’s my fucking turn

And you better listen up then

‘Cause I’m about to burn me

Worse than I have ever been

Since everyone’s out to slay

My nasty reputation anyway

I’ll do you (and me) a favour

I’ll roast myself in full colour

So don’t you wish I was dead?

But join the club, it’s growing

Tons more waiting to sign up

And I’m the goddamn president

Because I’m a jerk, a selfish dick

Jerking off like a worthless prick

I never make amends, never work

Get busy on excuses until I choke

I don’t improve, though I degrade

Fuck humanity, screw my grades

It’s my fault I’m an underacheiver

Never reaching my true potential

And I have problems, I complain

But no one wants to hear a thing

They also got crap to deal with

Got no time for whiny bullshit

My attitude gets on their nerves

Who is this loser and his verve?

An attention-seeking infamy slut

Rebellious, stubborn, fucking nuts

Thinking that I did everyone wrong

So I cut off all the communications

It’s all I can do, it’s easier that way

Who wants to live with me anyway?

Because I’m simply damn egotistic

Anxious, narcissistic, so apathetic

I’m depressed, but I can go suck it

Eat my own shit, it’s just pathetic

I’m not so special, I’m not anyone

And I’m just another stupid human

Being cynical, rotting in this reality

Say we’ll die anyway, why be sorry?

And I never think that I’m enough

No self-esteem to even cover me up

Insecurities too deep it never heals

Stifling myself down on how I feel

I’m a chronic liar, two-faced bastard

Performances deserving of an award

I cheat, I steal, I loathe, I’m jealous

Moralities fucked, it’s overzealous

In the end, I’m all talk but no bite

I’m all blind punches but no fight

I’m all write, don’t say what I mean

Sucking on empty hope and dreams

I’m always so harmful and noxious

Think I’m cool but really obnoxious

Hurting the only ones tolerating me

Pushing away all friends and family

And I don’t care for my own being

Even in the sake of any other doing

The fact I’m even writing all of this

Shows how much garbage I could be

I mocked and pissed at myself now

Still I feel it’s inadequate somehow

I’ve got a million profanities to give

And a million more why I shan’t live

But I’ll never change for the better

I simply push my head underwater

Wallowing in such a wretched state

Suffering is grand, it’s fucking great

I’m never alright, and I’ll never be

And the worst part is this self-pity

It’s disgusting, repulsive yet I take

Swallow down every dumb mistake

Never apologetic, always insincere

I’m such a faker, so crucify me here

It’s just another sin up the final tally

I don’t mind, go ahead and blame me

‘Cause I get it, I do, it’s into the ground

Why no one even wants to stick around

Because I’m just a miserable piece of shit

And if I’m this way, then yeah, I deserve it.

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The Drama Queens Called, They Want Their Bullshit Back

You can call me little Miss Piss with a kiss
And after all this the rest is all bullshit
And you love it, you love it
You love it, you love it…

~*~

Oh blah blah blah

You think you’re so special

Doing what thousands do

Glorified, you’re fucking mental

It’s satisfying, isn’t it?

When there’s no point to it

All you’re doing is being an attention whore

Doing it for the sake of bullshit

And I’m so very glad

That I handed you the keys

That would lock you in this transgression

And you didn’t say thanks or please

But it’s fine, it’s fine

I enjoy hearing your little chatter

When you’re crying out a fucking puddle

Then say you’re drowning underwater

So blah blah blah and etcetera

Good girl gone bad, oh, ain’t she just special?

But beneath all your overblown hysteria

You’re just another pitiful pathetic liar.

~*~

Say no to brains, it’s a no-brainer
Lowest common denominator
It pays the bills to be this sterile
Fuck me now, rip me off later
And you love it, you love it
After this the rest is all bullshit…

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You’re No Fun Anymore (You Never Were)

You’re going down the road that’s the same one that we have
We cannot wait to watch life kick you in your ass
I shed a little tear for all of you out there
There’s no way to escape, welcome to hell…

~*~

Oh, so the world doesn’t care about all your pedantic sorrows

Why are you so surprised that the sun will still rise tomorrow?

Clocks wouldn’t hitch their breaths just so you could catch up

And boxing gloves don’t soften the blow if you’ve had enough

You ask for a break like you deserved such a precious privilege

Scream at mouths to shut up when you spew the same trite shit

You said it yourself hypocrite, just repair it with your own tools

Don’t go around asking pleas, for the ones you once called fools

Oh, the world doesn’t care about your melodramatic ascencions

Why are you surprised it still revolves, when yours won’t go on?

Warn you’ll turn into a beast when you are pushed to your limits

But end up sobbing and whining, life’s just fucking unfair, isn’t it?

~*~

Because it doesn’t get better, unless you’re pretty
It doesn’t get better, unless you’ve got money
It doesn’t get better, so just give up
It never gets better, no, it gets worse…

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Filed under Poetry