There’s ten million ways to say an apology
But I could only count five stars blinking out on the palm of my hand
Whispering that this illusion’s grand, and I’m too infinitesimal to understand
How the world works and spins in its torque
How the skies are blue and why there’s rain in June
Why everyone lies and why people die
Why memories are memories, why angels don’t fly
Why chaos reigns in anarchy, and why you refused to say sorry
Even though I was bleeding out in front of you
And how the bruises are evidence for my allegations being true
But even without the vivid purple tattooed on my skin
I could still count every single sin
That you carved with a knife on the back of my heart
Saying you won’t end my life when you killed me with an art
Pressing down, feeling rife, tearing my veins apart
Will you still say this was simply for a restart?
For an iota of the darkest eyes you still call human
Face away from the tragedy and turn your soul to the sun
If those lips are crushed under the pressure of the truth
Fucking scream about everything, they won’t refuse if they knew
About the spinning planet, how they won’t understand it
About the blue skies and rainy day day lies
About death and regrets and how angels can fly
About memories being memories, and chaos made to create
And about how you refused to say sorry while you stood at hell’s gate
I’m at a loss for words, and everything escapes—
There’s ten million ways to say an apology
But I could only count one mouth moving soundlessly at the palm of my hands
Saying that my delusion’s grand, and I’m too foolish to understand
Against the stubbornness and the haze, that you were never one of the ways.