Tag Archives: pills

Sedate

I’m starving for medicine—

For a thousand clattering

Pills indulged all at once,

Dropping like snowflakes

On my withered tongue…

.

I’m starving for some sleep—

For a million hazy dreams

Coalesced softly all at once,

Showering like hail and sleet

Impaling my withered soul.

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Filed under Poetry

Her Hypodermic Heart

I’m fading away off some kind of drug
Maybe it’s lust, maybe it’s love
I know I said I’d straighten out a week ago
I’m feeling though, about to reach my peak, you know
The city’s got me falling off
I’m fading away, I’m losing my head…

~*~

She’s the girl of my dreams

But her nightmares come cheap

She’s got Xans for a goodnight kiss

And fictional love for my lifeline

Then I was told to stay the fuck away

But baby, my head lies all the time

.

If you’re in a rush, then stop running

You’re going too fast, the stopwatch tickin’

Mending my bones, but I’m still broken

Sayin’ I adore you when the ocean gets you

Blue and cold all the way to your mouth

Need another shot to keep it right, she knew

.

But the train stations stopped working

And I’m the only passenger left in red lights

Passing by the metro, keep that devil mania

It’s getting messy, and she’s gonna get me

Delete me from her fingers like I wasn’t there yet

Confuse my addictions as if I need more, yeah

.

Hit me twice and hit me hard, let me feel that smoke

Break me down and break me fast, let me feel my heart choke

Crash my central nervous system and keep the anxiety real

I’ve got some time to fuck around, so won’t you let me feel?

‘Cause she’s always been a sweet voice at the back of my mind

But only whenever I close my eyes and let the pills rewind.

~*~

‘Cause you’ve been steady
Crawling on your knees again
You need a friend
And I’ve been on the pills again
Baby’s only twenty-three
Dancing under lights since she was seventeen
Her brain’s flooded with ketamine…

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Filed under Poetry

The Taste Of Bad Medicine

Drag my hand behind you
Like a chain behind a truck
Sparks over your carpet while
I chase you through the darkness
Somebody’s supposed to fall in love
But nobody even calls; somebody’s supposed to…

~*~

If I held the gun that made your insides feel worse

Tell me, is it still a blessing or have I become your curse?

Your marionette body makes me fall apart again

After I’ve taken my prescriptions and adjusted my skin

.

I’m too selfish to taste all these abrasive chemicals

Forming newer lies at the tip of my pale purple tongue

So won’t you take them away and shatter up these brick walls

That’s keeping my sanity in, just another emergency man

.

In the bedroom floor where our breaths feel like the new testament

My tell-tale heart is still writhing and clawing desperately at the cement

You buried me in black and white, but all I could see is an endless blue

Starving for some modesty like it’s some unheard modern-day virtue

.

So break me away, I’m responsible for this reckless self-medication

Just to sleep and dream a little longer, just to find something to hold on

Because all I hear is anguished screaming from the other side of that door

And I could only listen so much to this overdose before I could take no more

.

If I held all the pills that made your insides feel worse

Tell me, am I your blessing or do I have to call up a hearse?

Your puppeted agony makes me fall apart, and then

I’ll take two and pass out just so I could call you in the morning.

~*~

Tear this place apart
Until you find me hiding, silently I wait
You’ll be excited just to see me someday
Everything’s okay…

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Filed under Poetry

Laugh Tracks

I tried to kill my pain
But only brought more
So much more, I lay dying
And I’m pouring crimson
Regret and betrayal…

~*~

A gun to my mouth

Means that I’m okay

Don’t worry about me

Go on with your day

A rope around my neck

Means that I’m swell

Just keep on walking

And I do wish you well

Fifty pills in my stomach

Means that I’m doing good

There isn’t a damn concern

So carry on, as you should

A blade to both my wrists

Means I’ve never been better

And soon enough, I promise

I won’t be any more bother.

~*~

I’m dying, praying
Bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

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Filed under Poetry

Just Look At The Mess You Made

Another knife in my hands
A stain that never comes off the sheets
Clean me off, I’m so dirty babe
The kind of dirty where the water
Never cleans off the clothes…

~*~

flies on your shoulder

blood in your sundress

darling girl of the hour

did you make this mess?

spelling decayed wrists

a blade for the clergies

vomit on blonde tresses

did you make this mess?

makeups smear breakup

a suicide note in lipstick

clean is now so careless

did you make this mess?

bathroom tiles shattered

pills and mirror scatters

a beauty fed to the beast

did you make this mess?

broken bones and skins

as agonist lungs scream

darkness she confessed

did you make this mess?

monsters devour a mind

it’s nothing you can find

a darling girl, mum’s best

why are you such a mess?

~*~

Only go so far ’til you bury them
So deep and down we go
Touched by angels, though I fall out of grace
I did it all so maybe I’d live this every day…

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Filed under Poetry

Prescriptions

My heart pumps this blood rush still, my legs numb
My sweat drips down my face, clears my vision
I battle myself, I battle…keep my hands from my throat
For this silence, I battle myself, I battle…

~*~

The simple logistics

Interfering with sense

Introduced in interims

Of trivialities dense

So lend me another idea

Of a wasted nostalgia

I’ll keep it so dearly

Filed under dementia

Stop my phantom hand

From impulsive emotion

Sedate me some more

In prescribed medication

The pills muffle pain

As well as thinking new

A choice without the other

I’ll have to make do.

~*~

Swallow down now whole, bitter pill unfolds
I lose my surroundings and fake that I’ve gained hope
This bitter pill he swallows takes the tension…

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Filed under Poetry

Placebo

These pills are contumelious and tasteless. I can sense the verbatim in each weighted gold, the incorrigible condition of convalescing, the asinine arrogance of it all that flows ever so hotly and heavily, like boiling lead poured down my veins, as I swallow quickly before the unpleasant bitter taste invades my tongue, hard tablets travelling down my throat imperceptibly. It somehow catches midpoint and I cough tentatively, droplets of rusty starched blood staining my silk white gloves. But, I think, it’s only or three drops and a dash of wasted chloride, so never mind that. Grimacing, my eyes narrow into thin slits at the minuscule writing on the sterile label, and I read the dictated instructions ever so carefully—like it even mattered in the slightest—as I shook more of the little pink chalky medical sedition out of its orange prescription bottles, the container vivid and gruesomely bright, tangerine teeth smiling at me as if to say “Your hair is falling out, your organs and viscera are liquefying at an alarming rate that you might as well shit it out, you’ve got a terminal ailment and necrosis is your best friend, it’s good, everything’s okay!”. It continues jeering and mocking and pointing fingers against me silently while simultaneously continuing its purpose of surreptitiously patching and stitching up internally what’s already disintegrated into a causeless irreparable degeneration. I glance at the acerbic prescription bottle, then back at the cherry cheeked cherubic lifesavers resting taciturn in my hand. Letting my irrational dignity get the best of me and sighing in a ludicrous extravagance, I take a hesitant drink of water, room temperature and straight from the tap, and throw the snickering pills away resolutely. They fall somewhere on the pristine linoleum floor with a protesting clatter, indignant and still stabbing invisible excoriations behind my back. I don’t care. This affluent injury, this affirmative debilitation, this coldhearted affliction is futile, I may as well be swallowing coins for all the good that it’s done me. It’s nothing but a feel-good propaganda that manages to make me feel worse; I may as well be choking on my own false hope.

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Filed under Prose

Asclepius

And don’t let it go to waste
I love it but I hate the taste
Weight keeping me down…

~*~

The innocents roamed the earth

And tripped constantly onto the dirt

They fell through rotten temptations

And painful crippling afflictions

So they prayed for a cure in dedication

And in return received medication

Sharp injections prickling through

Pills and potions down the gullet

They drank without a clue

Of the medicine’s side effects

Their healthy skins turned sallow

Their face and cheekbones hollow

Dull eyes devoid of any soul

Hearts corroding darker than coal

More, more, more…

They pleaded mindlessly now

Their bodies collapsing with horror

Their minds numbed and rubbed raw

Surely, I gave them the proper cure”

The God didn’t know what went wrong

And his angels were so sure

Those were the right pills all along

But never did they count the dose

Never took it into consideration

Failing to see that from too much medication

The end of the line is dependence and addiction.

More…more…more…

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