am i the letdown that shook the foundation of their worries?
never did it to myself, but it seems i only ever did it to please
distichs and dead ends weren’t enough to keep me occupied
you left me spent, the choice i made just leads to a shortsight
callous, beguiling, simpleminded, though blindly overdramatic
indelible yet impossible, a performative living that feels emetic
zipped-up lips and narcolepsy hide a contraband of nightmares
embarking past columned spines, still seeking hope in nowhere
kept only by the promises disgraced—perhaps it was never really fair.
aspirate, my mouth pleads
nodes choking as i scream
decompose before release
yesterday resonating again
cry for help, cry for the light
i fight to appear like i’m alive
zombie mind, escaping fate
ectoplasmic blood i irrigate
killed by myself, for my sake.
asterisks adamantly ruin all the promises you made
no second guesses happening, only baleful promenade
defiantly i hold the gaze you always seem to hastily drop
yesterday repeating back into now without any sudden stop
cross my mind like borderlines, even if you know
i’ll always be the first to last, even if it’s badly slow
zen of heart, next of kin, blood leaks from my eyes
epithilium elegance, nevermind all your liquid lies
kiss this kenophobia love and leave some ointment for the flies.
align the circumstances, hold crossfade
nebulae nightfall, slow ebb and cascade
dazing daylight dying out to desecration
younger aspidistras, bloom of cataclysm
chasms christening the edge of this infinity
imperceptible yet infallible, my invincibility
zoetropes of crushed sympathy hold back a lie
elysium and eloquence to pray forth when i sigh
kerosene for my lips, my bones to scatter the sky.
alive, i dream, i sink
nothing to fear, i blink
death, your high, my low
yes, your maybe, my no
clever, a lie, a white noise
insane i sigh, my warm voice
zigzags, my path, your straight
even, my crooked, your gait
killed, i sleep, i levitate.
ask me about what
nevermores do mean
darling, quite critical
yet polarising on whim
catatonic with fright
zodiacs and star dance
ephelides as you’ll please
kisses, but nothing more.
and i’ve lost my mind again
never again will i allow someone to
divide all the parts of me that
you unknowingly kept for yourself
cranium fractured like stained glass as
i wonder what you look like, with
zeroes in your eyelids and your arms
exploring worlds but barely missing mine
kindly spare me a penny for your thoughts.
all i made was you
not another myth to spare
don’t fake the truth
you’re not designed to care
intertwined like spiderwebs
elysiums, but not your name
keeping me barely sane.