Tag Archives: reaction

closer to closure

Consider this, consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this the slip
That brought me to my knees, failed
What if all these fantasies come
Flailing around, now I’ve said too much…

~*~

fucking upset.

why is that so?

is it thinking about

the deliberate act

of running steel beyond

your muscle enough

to hit bone, or is it

the happy thought that your

friends won’t give a

fuck about you anymore?

self-pitying act, you

find yourself repulsive

and reel back more as you

find yourself glorifying

the tasteless apathy

.

won’t be missed.

a face like wiped fog

on the windowpane

awkward jokes that never

hit humour quite right

undecoded personality

no one will want to

put up with anymore

won’t be missed?

tears might fall at a

funeral, but it will quickly

wash off, along with you

and the way you laugh

and your paper body

won’t. be. missed.

.

and still, no one.

but why do you even

pretend to be surprised?

the curiosity of their

imminent reactions

burns a giant hole

in your dysfunctional

brain and makes you

grimace, deceptive smile

a burning impulse to

get it over with and find out

are you fucking upset

that you know no one will

give a fuck, or because

you already saw it coming?

~*~

That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough…

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Janus and the Beast

There’s nothing like a trail of blood
To find your way back home
And nothing feels as cold inside as heaven down below
I’ve been lost and never found, afraid
To speak my truth out loud
With empty hands I came into this world
And I’ll leave just the same…

~*~

Blood smeared on the walls

Like the smiles on your two faces

Taunting a mechanical reaction

Of storms and clever rhetorics

That died of natural causes

.

But the truth is far from you

This miserable incineration

Of my outer demons breaking

Leaving the scar issues making

News all over my gossipy skin

.

And my migraine’s headlining

Medications inventing versions

Of the story no one wants to tell

Stigmata leaving sensible stigmas

Bitter bidding angels wish you hell

.

Blood smeared all over the walls

Like the frowns on your two faces

Making a cruel definition agreed

Of cyclones and asinine comebacks

That revived the primal nature in me.

~*~

Death, you cannot take me, you’ve tried and failed before
With everything so deafening, each breath worth fighting for
I refuse to be your casualty ’cause pain has its reward
No longer trapped in agony, you cannot take me, I survive the storm…

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Liplock Torture; Suffering Greys

And I can’t tell if this is all a dream or if I’m really here
But as long as I can feel you, I don’t really care, I don’t really care
Can we pretend like it’s just you and me?
I wanna act like I can feel something
And you don’t have to give it back to me…

~*~

do you feel me

breathing in your sins

and suffocating in third degree as

you mercilessly watch me die?

.

i wouldn’t care but

a single rejection would be nice

.

any reaction, even if

you laugh at my suffering

it doesn’t have to be an outcry of protest

because i know it never works like

that, you’re not a dreamer

.

i’m losing the feeling

in my fingers, but still, you won’t

hold them and pull me back

.

i’m dangling like

the burning cigarette between your lips

and sooner or later i will be

falling like the ashes

.

i could swallow

a million razors right now, and

still, you’d act as if it was simply sweet

.

i didn’t know what to expect

i can’t fathom why i even expected anything

you’ll always get the best of my worst

blue oceans pulling me into pacific

shooting my veins under a loaded gun

leaving my eyes with a vacancy

.

i could hope for a million years until it kills me

and even then, you wouldn’t cry.

~*~

‘Cause I can’t promise much of anything
I see in shades of grey, I’m going blind again
But when it comes to you, my world is red
I see in shades of grey, losing my mind again
‘Cause when it comes to you my world is deep red…

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Blood Clots and Black Holes

Here’s your new drug, shoot it in the left eye
Feel it on the right side, no it’s not love
Though it sets up shop behind your ribcage
Building blood clots and black holes
Like using an axe to pull a sliver from your skin…

~*~

Unresponsive desolation, paralysed in blood and cement

Reactions set to explode, evidences execution half-meant

Excerpts of a circumvented verse, misguided boundaries

Pulses worn, reciting reasons for the living in cemeteries

Incompatible, undesirable, infiltrate my cataclysmic rain

Under issued influences, heroin and butane shot for pain

Crashing manifestos, an intervention set to fucking burn

There’s no point to reflect if there’s nothing to be learned

Covenant of injuries, gregarious dimensions disembodied

Bedraggled carcass averting headlights, a contingency bid

Cold condescension will only covet unconsented concerns

Wasted like a question mark, duplicated hemispheres torn

Bullets traded for breathing soldiers, a parasitic symphony

Beneath the facade of a tranquil noir, an indelible calamity

Again the fugitives sink in violent vices, composed in ashes

My perverse altercation is but an alibi under my rotted flesh.

~*~

And they say this is medicine
An overdose of oxygen
A severed head as sedative
To be at peace would be a sin
And surely un-american
I’m breaking down…

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symptomatic sentiments

what makes

people tick

isn’t the

complicated

tricks,

it’s the simple

emotions

of a heart so

s i c k.

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Ladies and Gentlemen, Please Welcome Anxiety

Never learn to trust your own betraying tongue

When it leads with the weight of your bruised shoulders

What is there to surmise from the situation? None.

But somehow the summer airs get colder and colder

So do not introduce me yet to that impatient crowd

You know that I hate it when I have to speak aloud

There’s a chemical reaction to mind nuclear division

And it stifles my system short and delays my emotion

The reaction is too consequential and almost allergic

The microphone toppling with a dissonant hysteric

And the ears they lent seem to be made of plasticine

Sobering up a sold silken sonata like bad medicine

But still I won’t hide away with the stars just to rue

And fugacious flowery fade with my thoughts unsung

And if I really want the audience to either clap and boo

Then I will really have to learn to trust my own tongue.

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Guiltless Contrition

Gears grinding and churning

At the pits of my stomach

There’s a chill down my spine

And a coursing panic attack

My teeth grit and shatters

Against a nitrogen injection

Mind a diluted lukewarm water

Jittery like a drug addiction

There’s toxic in my capillaries

It’s smothering my fluttery chest

Why the fuck do I get this anxious?

I know you’re just putting me to the test.

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