Tag Archives: redemption

Of Despair and Last Resorts

So on to the ocean and into the sea
So balanced and calm now, that’s where I will be
So on to the ocean and into the sea
Wash away all my problems, wash away memories
Back then, always through the shattered glass
I stared at my life, and oh, I wished I would die…

~*~

Desperation, desperation, desperation.

A mother so desperate to pay back the unwanted debts she’s accumulated under a harrowing time pressure of “sooner than later”, that she’s tearfully begging her long-deceased husband’s portrait for help and verbally contemplating suicide in front of her children, splashed with witty acerbic remarks to conceal her true intentions.

“If I don’t go home tomorrow, just watch the news and you know what you’ll see.”

A woman so desperate to make amends with her best friend that she personally owes, not just money, but also so much of herself for, and attempting to save face from any further unnecessary embarrassment, that she takes out her unbridled anger on everyone else, including her family, herself, and even her very own infant son.

“You’re all fucking useless. Why don’t you just die if you can’t do anything to help?”

A person desperate for redemption, desperate for change, so fucking desperate to take away any further troubles and problems that they might cause to their family; so much so that they’re prepared to do anything to achieve such a goal, even if it means abandoning their education and their future ambitions just to find an easier route to support them. Or perhaps—a darker and easier solution that’s earnestly contemplated—just to completely remove themselves out of the equation.

“There’s less money to be spent and wasted if I’m not here, right?”

Desperation, it clings to the bruised necks of the needless like curved brier thorns, entangling itself inside fragile throats and lodging itself deeper and deeper with the softest cough, choking the sparest breath out of hope until all that’s left is a heartless fear—a fear of everything and nothing all at once, a fear for everyone else and yourself, a fear of the future, the present, and the past—until all that’s left is irrationality and logical foolishness; until all that’s left is reckless death wish.

Yet, even then, desperation still feeds ravenously. And it never starves.

~*~

Take a deep breath now
Pass the shallows

Stay steady and hold on
Through the darkness we all know…

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Filed under Prose

Heaven’s Final Calling

Heaven calls vociferate from above

Desecrating all that you have loved

Beleaguering ire those fainthearted

And their ruthless lions they’ve wed

For their agonies are immeasurable

If only mere mortals were to comply

God, mercy, if only He were still able

Rains down His purloin fates belied

Questioned not their imbued hearts

Played an imbibed lagniappe vitality

Lay down the sword you’d torn apart

Jesters shall feign comedic coronary

Faith’s gone, replaced with hypocrisy

Lusts of wealth and truant infallibility

Hell’s drowned with innocent sinners

Or dernier cri of veins being severed

Epiphany of a gregarious population

Impecunious and rich, in descension

Moratorium of planet in amanuensis

Cognoscenti of exculpated paralysis

Gust of wings, they seek redemption

Death of dogma and nascent nations

Heaven, it calls, yet no longer to invite

But to declare war upon the world it uprights.

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Filed under Poetry