Tag Archives: release

release

“…Can you feel my heart?”

~*~

i vain to

detonate

but there’s

no release

in words

or music

or crying

or useless

distractions

there’s no

fucking

meaning

in thoughts

of comforting

nothings

nor salvation

in severing

a million

empty veins

dragging the

red lines past

each other

until both my

arms are

amputated…

how the fuck

do you feel

when you

just don’t

know how to?

where does

the poison

exit your

drugged

up mind

when it’s

lost in a

dark maze?

how does

your sanity

cope with

inevitable

madness

that replaces

its void?

why, just

why do i

have to even

fucking feel?

there is

nowhere to

go but

nowhere;

there is

nothing to

do but

nothing—

it’s fucking

killing me,

but not

enough to

let me die

in peace.

and the

momentum

of pain

is slowly

building

up within…

but it won’t

let me go.

there’s a

rope in my

heart, and

it’s got a

firm hold

but without

the dynamite

all there is

to do is silently

i m p l o d e.

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Sleep: Letting Go Of Your Dreams

“There are these terrors, and it’s like, it feels like as if somebody is gripping my…are these terrors, and it’s like, it feels like as if somebody is gripping my throat…not like tremors, worse than tremors, there are these terrors…at night, there are…not like tremors, these are worse than tremors, there are these terrors, and it’s like, it feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat and squeezing…and like as if somebody was grip—”

~*~

Falling asleep…

A faint dream

In an elevator scene

An exploration

A decrepit room

And finally,

A music box song

That seeped

Onto reality…

Turning into

Static and wails;

Hell’s personal melody

Roaring madly

Past my ears

And the nightmare began.

Jolted into limbo

The familiar room

Materialising in front

Of my tired eyes,

But what the hell…?

I cannot sleep,

I cannot wake up,

And I can’t move...

I can’t move.

God help me,

I fucking cannot move—!

An invisible force

Pressing down on me,

Sent crawling chills

Down my skin

With every attempt

Of futile movement,

Dinning noise

Painfully screeching

Against my ears,

A beast has

Taken control of me

And I don’t know

What to do anymore.

Heartbeat panicking

And mind in a frenzy,

I tried to be calm,

To be stupidly rational

With instructions

That came out

Of a 911 operator’s

Mollifying mouth…

Okay, think this out!

You can do this.

Wiggle your toes.

A hallux, a minimus,

Just try it, okay?

There, good!

It’s working now…

Just try to move,

An arm, a leg,

A muscle, anything

At all, and then

Wait for it to spread

Across your body…

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

It doesn’t work.

I’m stuck.

I cannot break away

From the demon

That pins me

Within its claws

Rendering me

Immobile,

And screams

Triumphantly loud

In banshee roars

Deafening me

Of common sense.

I’m. Fucking. Trapped.

So what now?

Helpless as I’m

Paralysed, frozen

In a foetal position

Half conscious,

Half unconscious

Lying in my bed,

Unable to move

Or shout for help,

I give up

I’m reduced to

Waiting for it

To simply end;

Waiting for the

Monster to be sick

Of such games,

Waiting for reality

To take me back

And wake me up,

Waiting anxiously

For that final

Sweet release…

But will it even come?

~*~

“…Sometimes I see flames. And sometimes I see people that I love dying and…it’s always…and I can’t…I can’t ever wake up.”

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Monday Melancholia

Where is your head?
Where is your head?
Stuck in some dream
Where no one is listening…

~*~

RELEASE

Take me away from the anarchy of my mind

Leave all sanity and atrophy behind

Release me from the sirens that drown my ears

Cease the riveting flow of my crystalline tears

And pray keep that toxic black potion out of my reach

I implore, set me free and let my tired heart sleep.

~*~

BACKBURNER

Weary, despair, trudge, toil, and slave

Negative words that relate to desperation

But it’s funny and quite sad how many people state

That it’s also synonymous to education.

~*~

BLUE

The vision of my eyes seems to be faulty

Replacing the clear filter with shades of blue

Perhaps that’s why when I wake up I always see

That I’m always filled with gloom.

~*~

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