Tag Archives: repose

Failing Light (One Hundred Sleepless Nights)

Do you still love me? I am dying to know
Or did you forget what we shared?
Out of sight, out of mind, I was never even there…

~*~

Above anything else, I would let you bury me tonight.

The stars do not weep in the presence of the moon. Hearts wish not to rend themselves apart and souls no longer magically turn to gold simply because of your silver lining. Oceans remain a mystery, and space remains a final frontier, only left for your lips to discover, and for mine to wonder. I’m fully aware that I wouldn’t chase shadows. You know very well that you wouldn’t hurt the darkness. Nothing else makes sense anymore, but irrationality itself.

Do I mind? Would you care? There is no mercy left to be scavenged in these cold, lifeless hands of ours; hanging by a diaphanous thread, desperately raring to furtively unravel. But I won’t leave. I won’t let you down again. I won’t let this skin be filled with scars that tell no tales, occupied with hurt that leads to blind dead ends, embraced with an eloquent love that never existed. These are but synesthetic bouquets of eternity, laid in an empty grave for the unborn, wilting, wilting, wilted. Only you are the darling evergreen; fragrant, flourishing, faded.

Your voice is the exquisite cadence with which my pulse chooses to hum. My blood dances elegantly at the incipient sound of your hello, and it dwindles into a soft lamenting waltz when that final goodbye echoes, an ethereal lullaby that no deity nor universe can fathom, but it keeps me up from midnight diminuendo until the morning crescendo, wretched by my own asthenic humanity. You are lissome and restless by your personal cozen design. I am revered synthetically in my own chemical lassitude. We are clashing and colliding in the reckless throes of a gossamer accident, writing a halcyon tragedy.

But dear, keep your summery thoughts free of winter miasma. Worry not the deceptive haze of your alabaster reveries, don’t mind the labyrinthine obscurance of my obsidian nightmares, and never fear their contemptuous amalgamation, for I’ll take all of them far away from you, beyond the reach of birthed supernovae and black holes, so you may carry on saving astral symphonies with your lungs, and I can take my last fated exhale with a mellifluent memory. Your bed may be worn-out, but I’ll keep myself warm on the traced outlines you left. And I’ll keep on sleeping. And I’ll keep on dreaming. And I’ll keep on waiting for you to wake me up.

Until then, immortal repose is mine. And yours is immortal repose.

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i.) roses & bones.

flowers-grunge-pale-photography-Favim.com-3578013

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new dawn fades

A change of speed, a change of style
A change of scene, with no regrets
A chance to watch, admire the distance
Still occupied, though you forget
Different colours, different shades…

~*~

hear me twisting

the young stars into

a virgin dawn

as the birthing moon

collides the space

the crying distance

of amalgamated scarlet

and charcoal ember

is faded into lavender

by the midnight sky

so remember me

as the sun sends hearts

another drink of sunshine

kissing freckled flesh

for i’ll be twisting

the orphan stars

into a parvenu dawn

and i shall be reposing.

~*~

It was me, waiting for me
Hoping for something more
Me, seeing me this time
Hoping for something else.

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blank slate

We went down to the shore on a day that was warm
With the end of my fist, I thanked you for this
Over watch of fields and feelings I’ve met
I could pray to the day, I haven’t felt them yet…

~*~

detached emptiness

lone as the cells in my blood

breathing in frigid air

exhaling ink and neurons

but is it merely a deceitful calm?

a last resort i’ve set myself

to fall into and regress upon

if so, it must be quite nice

to feel this divine zero

a voided vacancy all the time

sometimes, loneliness is

mandatory, a chance set up

against my parallel lines

but never mistake that for

fragility, i merely need repose

appeasing such desolation

is to my own volition.

~*~

The waves will watch you go
‘Til you’re gone
And you come home no more…

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Demon Dissection

Cut up into pieces, looking for a reason
Who’s gonna be there to make me whole?
I can’t stop the bleeding, looking for a meaning
Throw me a line and bring me back home
Won’t you say something, say something…

~*~

My system is dysfunctional, don’t rouse the groggy demon

Breathing water in my lungs, filling my brain with helium

Paralyse the thin blood that clots into a circulatory decline

My taut nerves are snapping at heavy pressure in my spine

Respiration repressed, perspiration drowning perspicacious

Shutting down involuntarily, muscle and bone tearing anxious

If the oxygen doesn’t reach my lungs, and my pulse begins dying

Let my heart finally repose, and let this diseased demon flatline.

~*~

It leaves lines and divides, this life can cut like a knife
It leaves lines that divide a before and an after…

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Space Repose

It means nothing that the stars keep staring

Infinite sounds of galactic hymnal menacing

Knocking on the doors of a supernova home

Under black holes and leptons, lonely I roam

Planets stumbling, rings blot out of existence

Forgotten will-o-wisps glimmer with presence

I’ll sleep soundly on a constellation hammock

Let lights guide my dreams to universes amok.

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Transpierce the Roquelaure

Velvety bands of scarlet strychnine

Incite lips of gold against thorazine

Corpses pile, mental confidentiality

Jealousy and regret shatters sanity

An aftertaste as sweet as medicine

Internal communication last beyond

Menageries and cold sloppy seconds

Ebullience like whirlpools in a stream

Tallahassee sunset, tinctured chancel

Obstructions for his reptilian affinities

Neverwhere, of wars among the stars

Younger than the universe of infinities

Miracles about brotherly camaraderie

Incidents of an instrument symphony

Knives they kept, but allayed hysteria

End; a team of four repose in California.

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Limbo

Pray disturb not in repose

Doth wish to sleep infinity

A paralysing unconscious

Of nay perforated serenity

Ecstasies of dream visions

Sweating a fever post-REM

Thy malaise of disillusions

From which chimaera stem

Haet! thy rest impediments

Corrupted Sleeping Beauty

Hath thou succumbed unto

Sole mortality of humanity?

Soft cessation of thy breath

Transience of sleep apnoea

Fragile, respiring unto death

Of thou’st dissolute insomnia

Hearken thine heart’s pulsate

A phantasm of reality sorrow

Reveal open the golden gates

Of another ad nauseam limbo

Atonement of thy opprobrium

Lest not thou forget prefatory

Comatose in a latent oblivion

Wandering in abyss purgatory

Forgive thee, for thy have sinned

Eternal rest which thine deemed

Perpetual nightmares haunt forth

Of transgression and sin—nevermore.

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This Affair Is Not For The Fainthearted

I wouldn’t front the scene if you paid me 
I’m just the way that the doctor made me
On and on and on and on 
Love is the red the rose on your coffin door 
What’s life like, bleeding on the floor
The floor, the floor…

~*~

Your poets and criminals all dance in the same cell

Your mother’s eyes scream a silent prayer, can’t you tell?

You throttled the trigger, and emptied the hot lead chamber

And I’ll be your paper target, empty holes I’ll feel forever

.

They gave me ephedrine, fed me some tasteless medicine

Prescribed Abilify for the choir voices singing “Hallelujah!”

They dosed the offset, and I upped the convulsions

But don’t get a rosary yet, it’s just a side effect of prescriptions

.

You be my violent opposition, I’ll be a perfect mute

We’re perfect for each other, recriminated and abused

Hatred for this mad world, hearts exploding like a bomb

Let’s flare and glare, we’re neverwhere, drenched in bevy scum

.

So taste my butane skin, and load the ammunition

We’ll conflagrate our black souls into incineration

I’ll expunge your wasted blood, all the roses you bled

We’ll march the cathedral halls until we’re dead, we’re dead

.

Your apathy demands attention, alleviation you’ve aspired

You asked for a cure but all they gave are pills long expired

Hold on, hold on, maybe you’re just being badly neurotic

I must be going crazy, hell, why do I find that so romantic?

.

I’ll carry my mama on a gurney, into the deep forest since

Another contusion appears in my skin, a tally of all my sins

Shall we leave mother dearest to rot in the presence of wolves?

Should I be guilty? No, the law yells for me to absolve, absolve!

.

And we’ll ride the metal hansoms on this corporate fairy tale

But darling, I fear they’ll dissent, and you’ll be caught in the gale

Divas and starlets and mobs of girls dressed all meretricious

Men in suits, cornpone a-holes, faulty visions with strabismus

.

Come with me, we’ll infect all the sterile institutions in vile disparaging contritions

We’ll haunt the fallen graves in séances we frayed, won’t you accept my resignation

Don’t you worry, I’ll gladly be your widow honey, I’ll be your final lethal injection dose

This graceless romance is not for the squeamish, we all fall down in hell, and repose, repose!

~*~

So give me all your poison 
And give me all your pills 
And give me all your hopeless hearts 
And make me ill 
You’re running after something 
That you’ll never kill 
If this is what you want 
Then fire at will…

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