Tag Archives: resent

Desencion; Desperation.

fallen honesty

blinking back stubborn

tangents of another

monochrome lie

.

myth turned madness

barbed wires and concrete

as rain blinds curtains—

the spectators sigh

.

again. a fantasy coveted

by a horizonless mind

resenting. assenting. again;

their obsolete and arrogant cry.

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Filed under Poetry

paenitet

Back and forth I’ve been here before
The words you said just left me on the floor
And I came ’round and blew smoke from my mouth
I thought I saw you in the clouds…

~*~

i wish to offer

my honest apology

but mere pixels

aren’t enough to carry

heavy sincerity

.

so perhaps when

we finally meet again

and when i gather

my aplomb to call you

my old dear friend

.

and humbly accept

repentance for my mistakes

hoping that i don’t

have to spend another year

in resentment, i’ll do

whatever it might dare take

.

and perhaps, when this

year terminates, i’ll be able to

abandon such a spiteful

recourse against and with you

because despite everything

we aren’t better off this way, and

i have faith that this is true.

~*~

But I chose to forgive
I find it hard to forget
Even though you said it’s
Something you’d regret…

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Jealous Butterflies and Ochre Moth Wings

We’re just two jealous souls breaking envy against the tidal waves, bleeding out elaborate cesspools fervently, and leaving soundless mouths agape for the stained porcelain butterflies to enter, hoping that the fragile incipient creatures would exit our perfidious throats undaunted and provide our dilapidated larynx with an ameliorated song to sing. Yet we only manage to choke on their flimsy polychrome wings and cough them out unceremoniously before we suffocate, the meek and hapless butterflies bent in twisted angles, traces of leaden dust leaving residues of faithful solemnity in our tinted lips, tongues whispering the painful words that no sane mentality dares to hear, destroying the only scant chances for our treasonable prayers to receive heaven.

Then, after all the nascent vituperation that ensconces our quiet bones like an impaired skylight, where would we be? Plucking burnt tawny moth wings out of wilted candle wicks in the destitute hopes that they shall acquiesce the same way those quaint looking glass butterflies did, yet never realising that there is no fraudulence nor varied substitute for that abstract tessellation, that modicum of infinity, that metamorphosed dimension that those nebulous lepidopterons accumulate and exhale. Recovery cannot be replaced, and a replacement cannot be recovered. Amid the failing maiden glow and taffy-stretched daydreams, there is only maligned reverie by maimed lightweights, attempting to endow the subtler nuances of this life a vaguer and more coruscant definition.

Against the jade-eyed desires that we fought ever so vigilantly with inured devastation and bargained discrepancies, against the covetous recidivism and the elaborate secondhand lies that come tucked along within it like opening a painted russian nesting doll, against the prehensile avarice ascending above everything and drowning us in its remorseless cyclone, our jealous souls stand resolutely falling apart. There are no more iridescent enamel butterflies to count prismatic wishes on, no more ashen moth wings to cling onto fragments of faith for, no more candid humility and hackneyed selflessness and altruistic implications, only an imminent invidia and bilateral resentment. Reality ensues, and chaos along with it. Where will our lost nightmares dream now?

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Let Go Of My Heart And We’ll Call It Quits

But you’re always out to get me…
You’re the snake hidden in my
Daffodils when I’m picking flowers
That’s just my luck these days
Why can’t you just be happy for me?

~*~

You’ve got the shallow nerve

To give me the cold shoulder

And just shake me off your spine

But I will be back when it’s all over

And love, you won’t be fine

‘Cause all the boys told me

That you were nothing but trouble

But I drank all my parting shots

And ordered a martini, double

So consider the headache a warning

A bad souvenir for the morning

Accidents will happen on ice

Your chest heaves from the lies

Your guilty thoughts come and go

But the mess you made says no

It’s a shame, what a damn shame

If everything was just in vain

You’re cute when you get protective

So arrogant and manipulative

Kill me on the inside, gold bar, flatline

Lovesick, cheap trick, swear you’ll be mine

Play it safe and join the fight

The carpet won’t shed out hate tonight

I’m smiling with insincere teeth

But baby, baby, you’re such a cheat

Maybe I’m just the bad guy

But can you say you’re a reason I die?

There used to be a finer devotion

But I lost you when I lost my emotion

If only you’d stop fucking around, honey

But I’m too numb to feel sorry

This game ain’t too bad, having fun yet?

It’ll end up being our death

So give me the permission to dig some dirt

Draw a line between to avoid hurt

So keep my brakes from working again

Count me in, and we’ll both be crashin’

Rejection’s such a bitch, trust can’t be trusted

An involvement of two hearts that lusted

You can’t survive the game if you play love bad

But resent me for trying, it’s all I ever had.

~*~

You’re the brake lights failing as
My car swerves off the freeway
It kind of feels like sabotage
Why can’t you just be happy for
Why can’t you just be happy for me?

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Filed under Poetry

sever

please

resent me

for holding

you back

so i’ll cease

holding on

to your chance

that i lack.

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Filed under Poetry