Tag Archives: respect

Friend & Foe

If you could keep the right commitment
(Nothing gets in, in the way)
And you put all your hope within it
(It’s what you like, what it is)
I saw dysfunction in your rhythm
Life just slips away
Passed right through the first incision
Everything we are…

~*~

We have come and gone our own separate ways

And either one has stopped giving relentless chase

‘Cause I’m stuck in myself and I want it to last

And you’re borne to the future, discarding your past

.

I always thought that we shared the same blood

And nothing can change the contrasting connection we had

But I snipped on the veins and you bled them out dry

There was a mutual assent that it was best to let things die

.

You proclaim we’re such different people, you and me

I’ve constantly denied the facts presented somehow

I thought it was disturbing, the blurring similarities we had

But there’s a clear line—a parallel distinction in good and bad

.

You grew on such viridian memories and attempted to thrive

While I’m fine barely breathing just to keep myself alive

We shared these identical interests, but never the same passions

And have diverted circumstances in dealing with emotions

.

I admit, it’s rather strange for me to see things changing

People weren’t who they were, they don’t like the same things

I’m uncomfortable to alter what I have always known

But I know that in this life, the only thing I can do is go on

.

I know we’re not the same after all, and no one is to blame

I still look after this companionship, and I still respect your name

For certain, we’re both fucked-up, though still trying to change

We may have gone our separate ways, but it won’t sever the bond we made.

~*~

I’ll wait till you’ve forgotten
(I’ve seen the way you are)
If you get past the worst of that you know
(Look what good that did)
Fall along, fall along, innocent, innocent
Infractions that we know (Infractions that we know)
Quietly, quietly, everyone, everyone
Just as the summer ends…

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if there’s a god, he doesn’t have time for my bullshit

Take the pain
Make it billboard big and swallow it for me
Time capsule for the future
Trust me, that’s what I will be
Oh, the things that you do in the name
Of what you love

You are doomed but just enough…

~*~

i’m just so sick of faith

being forced down my throat

like it’s a mandatory responsibility

i may as well be tasting tax bills

but even then, at least i know

that the former is concrete, instead

of blindly fumbling for my hands as

i clasp the scapular and mumble

memorised prayers that i grew tired of

in another dead lifetime ago

because if i have to starve for days

and cut myself open just to enter heaven,

then why do they tell me it’s the devil’s fault?

isn’t that what i’m doing, anyway?

and what’s the fucking point of paradise?

Yes, the norms and dictations were all fun and

amusing when i was a wide-eyed child

so malleable, curious, and foolish enough to believe in

santa claus and the tooth fairy and tall tales

and believing whatever people told me was true

because i couldn’t construct my own reality back then

but now i’m older (one may contradict that

i’m not *that* old, but if my family says i’m old

enough to have to go through this bullshit, then that’s

adequately old enough for me, thanks very much)

and i’m wornout and jaded and tired and have

gone through not a lot, but just enough to lose the beliefs

that have done nothing good or beneficial for me

because all the saints and the promises of salvation

couldn’t make my eyes fall shut every night

and keep them wide open every morning,

day in and day out, over and over and over again.

i may as well be wishing quiet little whims every 11:11

or plucking lucky four-leaf clovers from grass

for whatever faith that’s worth anchoring myself onto.

Now, i know to keep my mouth shut and respect their faiths

but just don’t fucking cram all of it down my throat

like it’s my responsibility to be a good child,

to feel sorry for my sins and stay away from hell…

because if i live in a world like this, just how bad can that be?

~*~

And it’s getting hard to know what’s real
And if death is the last appointment
Then we’re all just sitting in the waiting room
I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom…

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A Trainwreck of Thoughts

My heart is pounding fast, I’m out of gas, it never lasts

Serotonin, oxytocin, we’re built for sins and late for mass

Chemical, mechanical faces, daily races underwater

Looking for god in cabarets and never searching for answers

Am I your jester? Will I entertain her? Is the sense in making sense

For a semblance of humanity, insanity, neuropathy

Endowed in chronic migraines and under castigated lies?

Uncertainties play like a chess piece, checkmate, check please

Asking the waiter for the receipt, but he never comes

It’s sympathetic…pathetic, isn’t it?

The empathy that curls and coils and churns in my esophagus

Screaming until my lungs are bruised, traumatic pain, dramatic recluse

In the throes of a black rose, petals falling in a final calling

For the tears in tantrum storming, where are we now?

Somehow…it never changes, the change rattling ranges in our pockets

Never mean a thing, but there’s a hole in your pants

And your nickels are clattering in your mind; never mind

The respect, don’t expect, crestfallen and swollen eyes, do it thrice

Without fail, without avail, without much ado about the gale

They say love was just a tale written in thorns and photographs,

Polaroids and tongues so crass, washing away the blood on our hands

Burying the body but never saying sorry, you’ll never bury the past!

Here I stand. My heart is pounding fast, I’m out of spare tires and gas

Waiting for the moment to last, waiting for the end to finish the past

Will this sempiternity ever end? Will the medication finally bend?

Will this recluse find the chaos amid the calm, will I take on such a task?

My heart slows down, and I’m waiting silently yet patiently for you to ask,

But you never show your cards, and again…I relapse.

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Verse End Chorus

“But it’s gone too far, your butane mouth will spit me into flames
Sorry ’bout it, I can’t help it, I’m an anarchist in love…”

~*~

just how much do

i admire every

verse and chorus?

darling, it’s lethal

like the catalyst

to a stained disease

and intruders

leaving footsteps

all over my red arteries

distractions of

the remedy dangling

behind the knives

at the very edge

of all my fingertips

dislocating broken bones

hurting me madly

yet i suffer jubilantly

if only for sedition.

and i do not lust

for tactless fantasies

it’s just far too artificial

and segmented

and drawling cliché

for me to take in earnest;

the scissors bite

deeper within my veins

and my blood is far

more crimson than pale

for such contrivance.

this adoration of mine

is unconditional

and a cold withdrawal

and it is sempiternal

as their mercurial eyes

taint my clouds

and crash them again,

affecting a hazier

fog in my ponderings,

painting my day with gold,

disturbing my nights

with daydreams.

though; i do not seek

superficiality, nor

the obscenity, nor

an intravenous

palette of emotions

to fulfill my sorrows,

contradict confrontations,

and substitute for

my own subconscious.

i’m too wasted to

be sober on the lights

of a reluctant soul

i’m intoxicated again…

i stray from orbital passion

yet i am drawn into

each unspoken reverie

and my limerence

is quite liquid and lithe

as it paints the lettered canvas

for their blank horizon.

and dear, i can simply hope

to sell all of my stars to

remain in the cheap seats

wishing that someday,

your songs will stretch

past the universe of infinity

and reach my eyes—

and i’m fervently faithful that

in another eternal dawn,

i shall gather enough sturdy rungs

in my concatenated ladder

to finally reach my melancholy

darling blue moon.

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a laugh to the tune of fuck you

the respect

that i do have

for you is too much

oh, i admire every

word, every nerve,

every faint catch

i’m sorry that it had

to be this way

and i had to give in

to the cruelty

the bastards played

it makes me sick

on how they all just

simply treat you as a joke

when you are all

that i’m holding on to

and breathing in for hope.

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[A]wake

One final night

To pay respect

On silent vigils

Express regrets

Candles burning

Midnight smoke

Scent of flowers

Paperback cloak

Memories chase

Dark paints dawn

Leaving goodbyes

And he must go on.

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Rücksicht

you never act like a

decent human being

i did not know what

i should even expect

but i thought wrongly

that someone as sensible

as you will have the grace

to show a little respect.

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Kiss and Tell

A hundred boys and girls

On my fucking list

From the start of A to zed

I’ll tell before I kiss

Every visage a motivation

Blue eyes don’t lie

So judge me for doing shit

I take so I don’t die

I’m proud of these people

Ain’t nothing wrong

And I’ll just block you out

With calming songs

A hundred girls and boys

I adore and respect

But I’m the whore, right?

Fucking deal with it.

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