Why does it feel like home when I’m lonely?
I always found on the solid ground
I was tripping away from space and time
I don’t really mind that I’m slipping…
~*~
would they notice
if my eyes faded away
and i lost my way
to the beckoning light?
the constructed highways
and hanging bridges
i still have to traverse are
too treacherous for my feet
and i can’t drag it out
watch me fight back
my shoulders straining to
remove the weight of the world
from its teetering blades
and yet i fell off the balance
waiting for the end of hell
in the beginning of the creation
closing my open heart
in this faceless underwater
i’ll feel anxiety again if i resurface
so i’ll embrace the cold and let
myself sink peacefully
all the way to the bottom
soothing the burns in my tongue
and the wait that manifests
saying i’ll jump off if i’m far too lost
and no one could come with me
to the deepest end of nowhere
where no one could reach my hand
and pull me back again
into the chaos they call home
who knows if i could still return
maybe i’ll just disappear for a while
after all, no one would notice.
~*~
We could disappear for a while
We could disappear if we’re going far away
It’s not running away, we were never meant to stay
In the first place, we could disappear for a while…
Filed under Poetry
Tagged as anxiety, bridge, close, cold, dark, deep, depression, disappear, drag, end, fade, fall, fight, gone, heart, hell, jump, late post, light, lost, notice, nowhere, personal, poem, poetry, pre-exam depression smh, pull, reach, return, self, sink, thoughts, underwater, wait, way, weight, world