Tag Archives: romance

rusty mailbox

you’ve got that

american blue in the very pits

of your iris,

and sometimes it feels

almost electric

but i know i’ll just end up

with a black eye if i

keep on staring

i’m not usually this brand of rude

but i can’t help it

if i’m cliché suckered

by that beach-at-early-gentle-dusk

kind of blond,

figure i could still taste

sea salt in my throat if i inhaled

hard enough

maybe you’re afloat

waiting for

a false breakwater romance

drowning siren song

with a hateful kinda endearment

and speaking of

you hate sports and my visual arts

but you like virtuous

green heroes

and staying up for 38 hours

and i like monochrome serial shows

and the number of

sweets i could still spell out

if i threw your full name

in an anagram machine and let it

run wild, here’s one:

cotton candy

maybe that’s no fun for you

don’t worry, it’s no fun

for me either

but it’s always fun to dream a bit

afternoon stargazing

spitting grey fur

overthinking about it some more

buttercup, that’s not one

but i quite like it pinned on your hair

if you won’t mind

i don’t live near a garden

but we could always find some way

or another

to quote a reference

for something

you probably don’t listen to—or do you?—

i’m never gonna see it

all in bloom

because now

it’s almost late spring

(summer ’round my axis)

and not fantasy football season

and i think i love you

all the same

so maybe i’ll just stretch

out my stiff spine

write a generic letter with no

return address

and turn the unplugged television on

just to see how it all

pans out.

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bygones

We hear that rumbling song in the distance
It’s coming closer, but we don’t like to talk about it
The sticks and stones won’t build you a home
And every word, it will exert you ’til you’re done…

~*~

hear me scream

your pity in disguise

verses reimbursing

an arcane surprise

so go find the me that

dripped down your

throat like madness

and felt like a cold

decimating the decay

or so i’ve been told

.

a night of encounter

faded into sometimes

sessions in the theatre

to remind you’re not mine

withdrawals attacking

this most awful defiance

but maybe if you don’t

find me out to fix me up,

soon enough, i’ll be able to

avoid this unexposed romance.

~*~

Where do we start
If we will end apart?
Where do we go from here?
It’s head versus heart
It will all be clear someday…

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Don’t Slam The Door When You Go Away (You’re Starting To Bore Me)

Somewhere darker, talking the same shite
I need a partner, well, are you out tonight?
It’s harder and harder to get you to listen
More I get through the gears, incapable of
Making alright decisions and having bad ideas…

~*~

pointless reciprocation, calling up our meaningless demise

you watch over me like a beguiling raven in disguise

crooning, you know I’d kill for those blackberry-bruised eyes

.

don’t need to count off three, two, one—i know what you mean

i’m already there darling, set the fucking mirror on fire again

and decide if you want all the scars pulled off of your skin

.

in the closet, seven minutes, but i don’t need your tongue

to tell the inside of my mouth that we’re both having fun

i swear i’m already out of it, trying to reach for your sun

.

is it under your dirty shirt? behind that crooked smirk you wear?

is it in an open bottle of jäger and a late-night truth or dare?

go ahead and spin it faster and faster, you know i won’t be scared

.

of the monster in the midst, under your bed, against your lips

i never wanted a body, i only wanted to hold my breath before i sink

you wished to be clever, here’s your chance to win me overthink

.

were you trying to lie? handed me a smug smoke to hide it?

my phonebook’s full of strangers, something you won’t admit

but i’ll suffocate on your cancer, still addicted to that bullshit

.

so what do you say, next morning’s only one car crash away

and i won’t ask for coffee or minty words on the pillowcase

i only ask that you keep your secrets well-groomed and safe

.

from their mindless impersonations, falling out of our defenceless paper skies

i watch over you like a commuter in your passenger seat, trying to play nice

go ahead, you know i’d die all over again just to be the only one that you despise.

~*~

Now it’s three in the morning
And I’m trying to change your mind
Left you multiple missed calls
And to my message you reply
“Why’d you only call me when you’re high?
Hi, why’d you only call me when you’re high?”

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The Amputee

Wonder why I wake up living in a made-up
Dream of you and I, together there
Baby, wake the fuck up
Time for you to grow up
Don’t you know that life is rarely ever fair?

~*~

now i should cease

with my attempted wars

involuntary romance

could only get me so far

.

i’ll cross black holes

for the simple soul i adore

they won’t recognise

such a dark helpless horror

.

pulled back and forth

maybe i’m a piece of string

pirouette me overhead

perhaps you’ll hear me sing

.

it was never their fault

i’m aware i have fallen victim

to the hell of taking light

as the other is still rekindling

.

now i should stop myself

while control’s on my fingertips

an accidental devotion will

only make me lose all my limbs.

~*~

Ice cold, baby, I’m ice cold
You’re the only one who could make me fold
I wouldn’t ask you to take care of me
Oh, I wouldn’t ask you to take care of me…

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Love Me Like You Used To

Love me like you used to

When feelings weren’t worth a damn

And romance was just a sham

Peering behind crowded restaurants

And late-night warm musings

When I dared your lips to hurt mine

.

Love me like you used to

As our silver lungs are intertwined

You were more than a concept

A voice I faded out in broad daylight

Someone whose laughs and

Inside jokes I didn’t know the path to

.

Love me like you used to

When I thought I couldn’t ever lose you

But you twist me up in currents

Leaving fingerprints all over frigid skin

Wishing, waiting, and waking up

Drenched in a pool of your self-secrecy

.

So love me like you used to

Shame on me for falling for a faceless stranger

Out of all the souls in the cosmos

You’re the faintest star my bright eyes picked

So I’ll love you like it means a damn

While you still loved me like you never did.

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Slaughterhouse Lust

Oh, how I crave to dare and distort

Flesh and curled veins embellish the hurt

Fingernails, friction, furled fire and ice

Horrors entombing, a mouthful of lies

.

Teethmarks left stale on shredded skin

A scarlet line stitch for scarlet-lured sins

Glinting dangerously close to livid steel tip

A throat once so sweet, now no longer sings

.

I am the intruder to your rationality

A romance without leisure nor apricity

I am ambrosia for the cunning and vulgar

Lock me in an embrace, I am built of barbed wires

.

You are the impostor with augmented pleas

Lethargic limerence, sometimes innocence kills

Fabricated humiliation left to the blowflies

Your hubris your downfall, your last breath a sigh

.

So crash and collide, a staccato of apologies

Left with the bullets, fired gunshot of notoriety

Puncture my lungs and just leave me to gasp

Amputate my useless limbs as you did to my useless heart

.

Oh, how I crave to deceive and disgrace

The enamel of my bones, your final resting place

You dine with the serpents, you rest with the wolves

Desecration was our only means to disguise the corrupted truth.

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Mad Mary Lennox

I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now—
I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now…

~*~

You were the tears I could never release.

I am imprisoned for centuries in an impenetrable ribcage, feeling the lemongrass harshly piercing my calloused feet but never allowing my deprived senses to take in their ethereal fragrance, holding blossoms by their fragile throats and quietly wishing for their efflorescent scarlet to return and splash colour on my filthy grey dress again, and forevermore shackled and watching the suspended horizon; but a mere intangible memory playing tricks on my open lips.

It was beautifully haunting. My demented secret garden.

You alone held the key to the concealed gates. That particular key was crudely carved from roses and bones, finely forged of romance and blood, chiseled from my consumed heart and threaded with my vulnerable veins, but akin to the overflowing ocean of the tears trapped within my tired, pondering eyes, you released me not.

But will I despair? Never. I shall merely smile at your vicious cruelty and wait for patience with all the grace and forgiveness the pallid moon has adorned me with. I’ll peacefully sleep on my bed of fallen feathers and butterfly ashes, and I shall awake again the next day, my marred body still glimmering in a breathtaking fairy tale iridescence, to tend to my own share of bruised paradise and to sing my laments to the ardent stars in the missing sky once more.

Because this exquisite garden shares my every pain, my solitary desire, my one secret, and not simply the very secrecy itself. This sanctuary is mine to hold in eternal memoriam, and in an infinite someday, these silver chains will rust off and unfetter, as the reckless revolution of this damned planet will halt and reverse, away from the sun. And when that happens, you will find yourself starving for sweet freedom and clawing at the iron bars haplessly, forever banished in my grotesque heaven, where all the scathing thorns bear your broken name and all the flowers wilt at the very despicable thought of your nonexistent soul.

And you shall weep. And I, finally, along with you.

~*~

Where has my heart gone?
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh, I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything
I still remember.

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D i s g u i s e d · A s · M e

Set free all of the limitations, and suppress the discreet dalliance

Conceal the killer that resides in wait behind this dead end home

Photographs and signatures won’t atone for such plastic romance

And with every beat of your thundering pulse is a right in its own

Enamoured as you stepped on the glass they kindly laid out for you

Heaven may be a whole mess, but hell is still open for you to accrue

With the only retreat in a barren wasteland that paralyses each whim

So drop the honour and storm the weather, it’s right there in your skin.

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california soul

Stay young and at the top of our lungs
Our hands are free, our lives have just begun!
It’s getting dark, we should go back
But what’s the use if what you love is what you have?
And I could die right now for something beautiful
To take me somewhere else; oh, I try to calm down
As I drag myself along these severed hands…

~*~

stay young

and keep your hands on the gun

don’t move along

and stay for the night

for the dark night that bleeds

in drunken colours

away from everything else

in the picasso paintings we called home

before we calmed down

and stopped severing our songs

so break me down

break down the better parts

that make us scream in the backseat

of crashing red cars

and i won’t run this time

so run me over

i’ll tally up the torques

torture me with tiring promenades

and hand grenades

and alcoholic stories that leave my cheeks numb

and when i pass the fuck out

carry me to my door

like you never promised me before

and i’ll leave you to stare

at the closed windows

throwing brick walls to play fair

just don’t bother with praying

don’t bother me

if the burning sun persists to remind you

don’t listen to the rain

listen to the suffocating hallways

give me what you can take

and if you still think you’ll be sorry

darling, your voice is keeping me awake

so what if i forget regret?

by then i wrote all these apologies

a thousand fucking times now

until i could taste the wounds on my tongue

until my hands are dragged into the ocean

until i don’t know what it means to be alive

what does it mean to breathe?

you lacerated my lungs

and monopolised my oxygen

so i guess i asked the wrong person

and i would do it again

until you love every broken bone in my body

but do you even give a fuck

that it’s cold outside

and all my mutated veins are frozen over

into dismembered accidents

of a lifeless smile?

don’t keep haunting me, darling

texas may be forever but california isn’t

and we could only wish to swim

against inferno summers and dishwater hurricanes

parched throats like a pyromaniac

before we crash on the rocks

and end up losing our bedrooms in the sky

did you fall away?

heaven is yours to plot my demise

when we’re stumbling over west coast clubs

and deadlocked in socal lies

i make the best mistakes to choose

when you’re wearing my lipstick and i’m in your shoes

crying until the lemon groves grow

and turn our memories of encino holidays sour

desecrating sacrilegious in santa cruz

saint anna has nothing left to lose

and los angeles is chanting ooh, la la la

the walk of fame is tipsy

the stars don’t remember their fame

hollywood is getting far too busy

and we’re covered in blood in san francisco

standing by the earthquake’s fault line

trying desperately to find out

which of us pushed the other one

but i’ll remember all the disasters forever

like how we convulsed with laughter

dissecting, exploring our decaying anatomies

relapsing into recovery

dancing circles around the hospital

and never even asking what’s happening to us

as we’re dragged under hispanic dust

dizzying in spin the bottles and betting hack money

ferris wheels and carousels and vomit

confusion reassuring with promises full of shit

the happiest place on earth feels sorry

disneyland’s just a ride away

watching movies at anaheim driveways

falling asleep at the rolling credits

diving into high tide currents of long beach

until one of us drowns deep

and we hid away in sulphur kisses

poignant in mission bay high

crushing red cups in san diego backyards

digging crowns and graves in clairemont for the day we die

so hold your mouth, we’ll be fine

i’ll tell you you’ll be okay, but i would be lying

for romance, for a chance

to entrance the devils pumping blood

for a nonexistent god

for you, for me, for loveless mercy

for love and everything that’s bad in this world

you whisper “baby, i’d kill for you”

oh honey, don’t you see? i’d fucking kill you

i’d count the sugar on your lips

i’d count the stars that collide all over your skin

i’d count all the chemicals that saturate me

when you count the sand on the shore like sweeter sins

soaking me in

breaking me down

until i’m wasted on your voice

until the wine tastes cheap

and until we’re entangled

like grey cobwebs and red tapes

and starving friends preaching eloquence

like our elusive selfish escapes

so please shatter your mirrored soul for me

and i’ll paint them over in stained glass

for the hollow cathedral

we’ll murder our lusted vows in

we both knew this moment would never last

cause i loved your shameless destruction

and that was a fucking mistake

i should’ve loved everything else in your dying eyes, darling

because that was all it would ever take.

~*~

I’m gonna buy a cheap bouquet before it dies on the display
(Gonna break down) Break down the better side of me
(The better side of me) Well I know, I know if I die young
Then we can wake up screaming in your bed
And our lungs are begging us to calm down!

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The Best of You (is the Worst of Me)

In time you’ll find that we can sober up
Clean up any dirt so we can open up
These wounds have been open for forever now
Come on, be strong, your mind has gotten the best of you
You’ve done enough and you are enough
Let’s fall asleep tonight
I’ll hold you close and show you you’re not broken…

~*~

We’re in the middle of nowhere

Trying to find the end of the road

I can’t deny that eternity’s a wreck

It proves that I’m stuck in your hold

.

I’ll limit myself to break down the sun

Let’s divide by three, my cheating friend

Your beautiful face is a drink of regret

I’ll fail falling in love, then I’ll do it again

.

The right side of nothing called out to me

Turn back now while there’s still a chance

And when you run away from my memory

Shut up and decay in a mythical romance

.

Cast a spell on me and take back the war

I’ve got a secret, promise you won’t keep it

Put a curse on me and tonight we’ll go far

I’ve got a secret, swear don’t give me bullshit

.

Forever’s a lie, but together we will die

I said I was sorry, but you don’t believe me

Sometimes you have to fall just to fly

My angel is broken but she’s still so pretty

.

I’m in trouble, devil got a hold on my soul

Let’s settle the score, let’s do some more

My heart has been waiting for an apology

But it keeps coming out all wrong, baby

.

All the reasons we’ve made just not to break

Trying to set things right was another mistake

The decisions and encounters that collapsed

And friends, a forgotten night in a time lapse

.

I don’t think I’ll carry through all this alone

Open up to me, and I will come back home

I think it’s all a bad waste, vague and petty

So tell me honestly, what is it going to be?

.

Maybe we were far too young and foolish to ever feel this much

Attracted to the pains of infatuation, and senseless to the touch

I’ll be leaving soon, but I’ll leave all my things, it’s all you can have

But I’m still here tonight so one more time, teach me how to love.

~*~

You said it, you said it, I’ll take you at your word
These promises that you can’t keep
It’s getting harder to hold on
You said it, you said it, don’t ever let me fall
Don’t give up because you’re losing…

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