Tag Archives: run

lamag-lamag (the chase)

habo ko na.

masakiton magparalamag

saimo—an sapatos ko

ralabot asin raraot na

an kaherak na bitis ko puros

na sana lugad, dawa an

baga ko nagkukurulog

asin magabaton nang

marhay, tapos habo mo

man sana akong tawanan

ning hinangos pag ika

nadakop ko na tulos

.

habo ko na.

napapagal na akong marhay

an sakuyang mapapasaon na

tulang, dikit na sana mababari na

gabos—ta paghuna ko baga

pangiturogan sana ini, pero tano ta

nakamuklat pa an sakuyang mga mata?

dawa anong gibuhon ko, ika man

sana an pirming manggagana

sa kahaluyan kong pagparadalagan

nalingawan ko na kung tano ta ika hinahanap

siring ta ika mayo man sakong

maitataong kamurawayan.

i don’t want this anymore.

it’s so difficult to chase

after you—my shoes are

full of holes and damaged,

my poor feet riddled with

wounds, even my chest aches

and is weighed down heavily

and yet you refuse to allow me

some breaths, when i finally

manage to quickly catch you

.

i don’t want this anymore.

i’m getting severely exhausted

my fragile bones are close to

fracturing completely—i thought

that this was just a dream, but then

why are my eyes still wide open?

no matter what i do, you will always

end up winning, and i’ve been running

for so long that i’ve already forgotten

why i’m searching for you

when you will provide me no triumph.

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Hierarchical Absolution

Just get me out of this damned place

Where the thieves and parasites all replace

The sanity and morals’ common sense

And jesters jeer at their own complacence

.

Where money doesn’t simply talk, but instead

It fucks with pleasant tongues and leaves them dead

And the messy viscera of every carved-out pawn

Is strewn to hide the sheer filth of pride overgrown

.

Expected to stand up and expected to bleed

Displayed high on the shelves like a trophy kid

Make them all happy, at the cost of your own

Suck up the complaints right down to the bone

.

And I just can’t run away from this cultural poison

Finding heaven in suicide and hell right back home

Please get me out before the familiar slaves drag me back

To a place where I’ll be forced to toil until I self-destruct.

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bad dog

he runs his mouth

without tiring, but

he still gets nowhere—

.

for he’s only going

around in circles, and

chasing his own tail.

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some awful luck

This curse making
My heart soon burst
The thirst, I’ve never
Felt it hurt worse
We tried, god
We fucking tried…

~*~

bad luck

please come in

let’s spend

some time in

the lion’s den

spit some blood

in my glared eyes

pounce like

a predator and

have a slice

.

bad luck

have some fun

i’m falling

under, and i’m

on the run

gnash your teeth

grind my bones

i know there’s

no help coming

i’m all alone

.

bad luck

please come again

your company’s

simply a fine

guilty sin

keep me hanging

on the edge of

my seat—after all,

i can’t complain

i know i deserve it.

~*~

But inside, we’re dying
Just to feel that high
I’m dying just
To fuck my mind
Cause god, it makes me
Feel so right…

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7 – next time, just leave it to the experts

disasters—

panic and dark stains

look at the mess

you’ve made…

.

run boy,

why don’t you?

fix the damage

and change chaos

.

disasters—

soaked shirt and beige

just look at the

mess you are…

.

run boy,

why don’t you?

save all the saints

and give ’em hell.

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Disembodied Silhouettes

My shadow no longer walks with me—

Not because there is no light to cast upon it,

But because it’s ashamed to take the very same path

My disgraced footsteps have left an imprint on

But could I blame my shadow for running away?

All it wants is a drop of tasteless medication

And I’m a lacklustre smile away from an overdose

Sitting here, under the ghostly orange of the streetlight

Watching the outline on the asphalt recede from me,

I count how many seconds it takes for me to get home

And pray under my breath that my shadow doesn’t follow.

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midnight run

i don’t deserve

your bullshit

and the pants you

couldn’t keep on

so next time

do us all a favour

and fucking walk

your shame back home.

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Killing Queen

That first summer we spent’s
One we’ll never forget
Looking for any kind of reason
To escape all the mess that
We thought was what made us…

~*~

Sometimes I laugh at the thought

Of me writhing, as I vainly fought

Against a spell you held me under

You broke the walls, I ran for cover

.

But instead of playing me the victim

You merely stared and started singing

And I revealed out from my sanctuary

No longer afraid of what I can ever see

.

As tenor rose to the star-canopied skies

Hearts cadenced, synchronised lullabies

I locked the doors, left the windows open

Closed my eyes as you smiled and went in.

~*~

Ain’t it funny now? We can see
We’re who we’re meant to be
You still have all of my
You still have all of my
You still have all my heart…

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Wrong Weekend

03.10.18. Saturday, 3:02 AM. Manhattan, New York.


He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes
Started making his way past 2 in the morning
He hasn’t been sober for days
Leaning now into the breeze
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees…


It’s three in the morning when I lock my heart behind the closet doors

And then I take another drink so I could forget what it was fighting for

Everything is louder when the sounds of a life once held are long gone

I’m crashing and cresting like the tidal waves of this bathroom tantrum

I’m looking for someone that has disappeared from newspaper tragedies

Hey mister, have you seen this person in the photo that was never taken?

It’s another hazy day wasted, but I guess I’ll go home just to burn it down

Write a song on my six-stringed guitar, and I wonder where you are again.


Forgive me, I’m trying to find
My calling, I’m calling at night
I don’t mean to be a bother
But have you seen this girl?
She’s been running through my dreams
And it’s driving me crazy, it seems…



07.16.18. Saturday, 3:57 AM. Manchester, England.


I’m not coming back (forgive me)
I’ve done something so terrible
I’m terrified to speak (I’m not calling, I’m not calling)
But you’d expect that from me
I’m mixed up, I’ll be blunt, now the rain is just…


It’s three in the morning when I put on my coat and slipped past the doors

After an evening of drinks so I could forget that I’m even fighting anymore

Everything is louder when the sounds of a life once held begins to fall apart

I’m collapsing and colliding just trying to get you out of that bathroom stunt

I’m losing myself and slowly disappearing under a pile of newspaper eulogies

Hey miss, can we delete ourselves, to pretend that this photo was never taken?

It’s another hazy day spent, so I guess I’ll go home in a place where I don’t burn

Right by the six-windowed room, and I won’t ever wonder where you are again.


You’re driving me crazy, I’m—
Washing you out of my hair and out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world, from so many thousands
Of feet off the ground, I’m over you now
I’m at home in the clouds, and towering over your head
Well I guess I’ll go home now. I guess I’ll go home…


 

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trapped in my headcase

i’m stuck

all alone

with my mind

to torture me

to prod needles

behind my eyelids

and call me a

worthless failure

a fucking loser

and every other

insult that i’ve

heard a million times

before already.

i want to jump off

the window of

this speeding bus

and run away

from my friends,

from my family,

from everything

and everyone

that i ever failed—

including myself…

but i just can’t.

so instead of that,

i’m stuck here

with my cruel mind

playing tricks on

my worthless self,

gritting my teeth and

telling me lies

as i’m just silently

screaming and

hating myself because

i believe it’s all

fucking true.

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