Tag Archives: save

Ocean Promenades and Transatlantic Daydreams

You’ve gone and sewn me to this bed
The taste of you and me
Will never leave my lips again
Under the blinding rain
I wanna hold your hand so tight
I’m gonna break my wrist
And when the vultures sing tonight
I’m gonna join right in…

~*~

Between you and me

There’s no distance in the middle

The cold war has restarted

So let’s try to be civil

A legal murder;

That’s what you really are

With a smile that can save the

World all on its own

I grit my teeth because that’s

All I can do to just keep holding on

The smoke collides in the sky

Like decanted white wine in a movie

But no one is watching

And nobody’s ending is to die

The walls of this house are paper thin

But so is my pallid skin

I wonder if stars choose to cling to my eyes

And where all their lies begin

I need someone to keep me from

Swallowing a bottle of pills amassed

As I kept the orange lid on

And chewed on the painted glass

You didn’t even try to stop me

From counting days off my chipped nails

And burying my reflection

Your finger is falling off the scale

I fractured my funny bone

As you dragged my ankles in the rain

Maybe I’ve had known my synthetic home

Instead all I have is a lipstick stain

My tears are a suicide silence

Of those evenings I spent swearing that I’ll

Call your paradise up in the morning

Even if it might take me a while

I’d count the salt of the earth

And turn it into sugar on your tongue

I may be out of bounds

But I wasn’t the thief who sold your sun

So say it’s all a criminal act

These handcuffs are killing my wrists

Digging into my scar tissues

As scarred as your haunting lips

The tactless tactics taken

Your elegant eloquences forsaken

Tortured clocks tick the past

It wasn’t meant to last

Another song of bruised dreams

I wanna hold your hand so fucking tight

Your bones will feel my veins scream

And my knuckles will bleed out into the night

Maybe another vodka shot

Will change things, or make it worse

As I threw a boulder on your bedroom window

To tell you I won’t be late for your hearse

It’s a screwed-up mentality

Like kissing a glock gun before I sleep

To trade tranquility for a stranger

And voluntarily fall inside his oceans deep

But just between you and me

I’m already drenched away and sickly

And there’s no place I’d rather drown myself in

Than your empty sea.

~*~

I’ll sing along, cause I don’t know any other song
I’ll sing along, but I’m barely hanging on
No, I’m barely hanging on, by the time you’re hearing this
I’ll already be gone; and now there’s nothing to do
But tear my voice apart…

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Filed under Poetry

the cyclone

riptides roar

tsunamis soar

hurricane waves

can’t be saved

ocean rages

howling winds

desperate surges

sailing stints

whirlpool wailing

water flowing

of salt and sand

ships unmanned

seas slow down

as sirens serenade

the storm has passed

and calm is made.

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Filed under Poetry

You Better Get The Door

Wash away these memories, silent and proud
Blood won’t confirm on these curtains
Your blood, my hands, your blood, my fucking hands
Run for the hills, your strength, from the dead afar…

~*~

A moment of delusion, celestial superfusion

Wander, demand her, a second of confusion

Seven to heaven when I find the intersection

Logistics and statistics that I failed to mention

.

Broken and unspoken, for the days I set unnumbered

We’ll plan this sheer madness until we’re torn asunder

Mayday don’t you say a thing, now don’t you maunder

Relay and decay me, the taste of suffering feels blander

.

Sorry, you know me, a crack away from the brick bracs

Gave me what you saved me, and the senses that I lack

Then we’ll set up for the kill, the trigger’s left unlocked

If I leave my morals ajar, maybe someone else will knock.

~*~

Run for the hills, your strength from luck
Cut this off, and if you think you’re alive,
Then you’re better off fucking dead!

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Blood Insurrection: A Nightmare Recollection

Please, don’t take this out on me
‘Cause you’re the only thing that’s keeping me alive
And I don’t wanna wait for the down-set date
Cause I would rather end it all tonight
And if I mean anything to you
I’m sorry, but I’ve made up my mind!

~*~

Last night, I dreamed of you.

I’m haunted by perpetual visions of your flayed skin, your mutilated flesh hanging off your pallid wrists and chest loosely, bloodshot eyes staring at me in a soundless remorseful discourse. Pieces of sempiternal agony peel off your body in shredded sinews and fall intrinsically on the stained floor, crashing in cascades of reverent disdain and charlatan confessions, colliding with concrete, ringing as loud as midnight bells at a funeral, suspended leaks of scarlet contrasting dramatically with your silver ring. Ivory-washed bones prodded itself from out your mangled shoulder blade in painful angles, compassed spine breaking audibly, and your excruciating anguish reverberated throughout the room, suffocating my lungs. You were broken. Injured, damaged and dilapidated at every possible recourse. Was I wrong to think that you looked goddamn beautiful?

Your sepia eyes seemed to suck me in. They hid invisible anathema, as your lightning-stricken lips spoke fervently of an ancient tale, a dawning disambiguation unlike this damned universe has ever strung together. I was overwhelmed by every calculated idea, every lusted bereavement, every betrayed rumination and endowed sensibility that pierced and tortured that exquisitely-lacerated mind of yours, resplendent writings and rancid words accidentally getting caught in the barbed wires of your entangled sable hair and never making it past the graffitied red brick wall, leaving only tattered pieces of a squandered afterthought fluttering like scrap paper or torn body bags, caught up in fences of rusted mesh, languid and waiting patiently to join the rueful waltz of the stubborn wind. Was it my treacherous mistake to try to put them back together, instead of setting them free?

You were screaming. Your swollen metal throat was rising and falling in explosive intonations of imminent detonation and wasteland reveries, sending chills crawling like aggravated insects down my backbone. It was a disastrous sanctuary, your blessed hell perilous below, while heaven enshrouds above us like a stagnant disorientation. Songs of chronic migraines and reconciling nightmares intertwining elaborately made me beg epileptically for more, yet you never surrendered. Your fluid voice appeared to tangibly cut through me like a raging maelstrom of blades and alcohol, each exiling raindrop lethally sharp, stinging, seething, sedating, the striking precipitation more painful than the last. I am admittedly and ashamedly sinful. I have only myself to atone for my scarred mentality. Was I the renegade soldier who pulled the pin from your heart, fettered like a hand grenade between my merciless fingers?

Your calloused hands were bare and flaccid. They held no mellifluous instruments, only dead air and static asthenia. I desperately reached for them, the way I used to reach for unconscious stars but never quite make it past the horizon, yet my trembling nicotine-stained fingertips barely grazed the soles of your feet. Desire intervened with revulsion. Your liquid touch was rueful and bilious, and it clung to my papyrus skin like abrasive brier thorns on a shorn silk wedding dress. Your suspicious tears rose up in suffocating tendrils of pewter smoke, gasoline fluid flirting with pillars of a ravenous fire, and it burned words into my throat that I wouldn’t dare set loose past my tongue. The perdition was adamant and stern, glaring like a shot arrow past and through the ubiquitous veils, slashing horizontal lines and painting calamities all over my past wounds. I’ve fumbled for faith and I lost it. Is there any chance that these cicatrices would fade into discernible reality…is there any hope at all that I would recover at all?

You. You stood there silently in clashing bouts of disenchantment and contrition, staring at me hollowly, frozen in a resolute resignation, overlooking my ruinous devastation like a dystopian entity. I quailed at your omniscient presence as I huddled in cowardice in a corner, failing taciturnly in a blank stupor, vacillating on the verge of an oncoming breakdown. At that moment, time was evasive and irrelevant. You didn’t flinch. You didn’t try to stop me. You never moved. You didn’t merely murmured a sorrowful apology, your soft whisper barely audible against the clamour of the infuriated voices in my head, each interlaced butterfly letter striking me like a full metal jacket bullet and making me drop the blade out of pure shock at the impact; the one I was holding against my pulse so readily, ready to gnash its teeth through my lifeline. Death was kissing my hand flirtatiously, ready to take me in its graceless romance, yet somehow I still drew away unreasonably. My hurtling world is set on a tectonic plate, and it was set to drift apart in a crash collision, yet I’m unable to form undiscovered islands of a new beginning, for my dissolving pangaea is still arbitrarily constricted and tightly tethered to you, veering around your gravity’s reckless orbit. Your vicious disease is my apostle’s remedy, and your existence is a thread strung around my neck, needle embedded in my heart, keeping me hanging on, but barely. I’m shivering madly at your frigid soul. You’re so far away, you’re virtually a parallel dimension, yet you’re only inches away from my stuttering heartbeat. This is…this is arrogant madness. Don’t…please don’t try to save me. Why…why can’t you simply just let me go?

It is morning. I am not yet awake.

~*~

I’ve been having this dream that we can fly
So darling close your eyes
‘Cause you’re about to miss everything!
About to miss everything…

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beyond help

if there’s

anything i

learned

from you,

it’s that

some things

just can’t

be saved.

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The Decapitated Queen of La Brea and the Boy of her Nightmares (Hail, Suicide!)

I said, we’ll drown ourselves in misery tonight
White lies, you’ve worn out all your dancing shoes this time
Just give us war-worn lipstick, blood, and purifying flame
These eyes have had too much to drink again tonight
Black skies, we’ll douse ourselves in high explosive light
Just give us war-worn, I’ve been calling you all week for my shotgun!

~*~

I love your lips, and the way they bleed

Like dying throes of cold water orchids

Drive my heart like a spike in the ground

Along with the dead, it’ll be safe and sound

.

And the moon tears the marrow of our bones

And the teeth in our necks are razor stones

So take me to a church, and get me a doctor

The coursing venom won’t last any longer

.

I wear my pills on a bloodstained sleeve

If there’s a heaven waiting, I don’t believe

You hid a revolver gun on my ancient bible

Lock and load, the scripture spells out trouble

.

And the mark of the serpent is burning me

Nazareth is damned, call me Black Mary

Carve the tattoo for the switchblade saints

Die by the cross of the apparition’s taint

.

The séance under the spotlight is holding on

Bang bang! Goes the monitor, he’s fucking gone!

Emergency alert, the red lights flash and spin

This institutional madness is fucking caving in!

.

Horror in my decayed lungs, glass in my falling nails

Banging against the coffin door rhythmic, hail, hail!

Bathe me in the arcane fires of an everlasting hell

And pray to the hurricane rain for another dry spell

.

Oh baby, the sun won’t be purified by your lipgloss

But if you tried to save us, it’s a threatening cause

Beat me fucked and correct the date on my grave

Tonight we’ll be insufferable, disgusted at the nave

.

I’m damned and broken, the saviour of the anthem

Decimating heroes with lobotomies and brain stems

This is a wedding party, bridegroom toasting cyanide

Marry to the end of the health and your death, I lied

.

And if they think you’ll be holding (they thought wrong)

Pick up the signs, make up your mind (you ain’t so gorgeous now)

You may be in exile, but don’t forget to smile (shine the light)

Drop the guns and have some fun, we’re stuck here a while (shit!)

.

So hear me out, my divine angel, dear graceless and corpse-fair

The blood’s drying in my mourning Sunday clothes I shall never wear

But the way my hands are shaking, I will never have a clean shot

So just hold it as tight as you can, and pull the trigger with all you’ve got.

~*~

Pick up the phone! Pick up the phone, fucker
I wanna see what your insides look like
(I wanna see what your insides look like)

I bet you’re not fucking pretty on the inside (not so pretty)
I wanna see what your insides look like (not so pretty baby)
I wanna see ’em (not so)…

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saving strangers

and in the end

the one who cared

to take me away

from the blades

was not a friend

nor a righteous foe

but a stranger that

i have yet to know.

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Filed under Poetry

The Boy with a Cold Star and a Dry Pen

Vices which I taste with every splinter of your desire

I may be dramatic but you’re responsible for my fire

Cold I feel, you’re out of kerosene and I want a jacket

Flair of selfishness as we collide and forget our regret

Underwater as we sing, romantic sirens under the sky

Eternity can wait, our severed hearts ain’t ready to die

Never did I find tempting so fucking sweet and alluring

The misadventures we have, I stow away in reminiscing

Every flaw, scar, and piercing, your criminal soul I adore

Save me darling, how I wish the stars will bring you more.

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She Owns a Red Cadillac and I Need an Accident

(Here, have a random piss-poor excuse of a “song” that I wrote aeons ago, because why the hell not.)

~*~

I can’t imagine being anywhere else
I can’t imagine being anywhere else but here
How the hell did you ever pick me?
Honestly, I could sing you a song
But I don’t think words can express your beauty
It’s singing to me, how the hell did we end up like this?
You bring out the beast in me…

~*~

It was the best day of our lives

Until you decided to run away

Into the highway velocity, a blood-beat wife

It’s the same old routine today

.

My bridal girl, your seatbelt’s fraying

In gasoline tears, your dress is melting

But don’t you cry too fast now

The road’s too slippery for a row

.

Hit another skid, another dancing kid

(I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m fucking tired!)

The path is twisting, I’m getting rid

(Too busy fighting, fucking watch out!)

.

You passed out again from pressing on your bruises

In silken sheets and raining scarlet roses

We’ll save you! We’ll save this

Affair, a tragedy for the intensive care unit

.

Kill me, kiss me again

With both my hands on the steering wheel

It’s more fun to die with both eyes wide shut

So don’t let me miss the thrill

.

Yellow headlights illuminate

Another fractured heart

And shattered glass against the monitor

A beat that won’t restart

.

(Crash! Crash! Cause a pileup on the intersection!

Red! Lights! Call an ambulance, fucking call 911!)

.

You passed out again from coddling your concussion

In the backseat staining sodas and cold emotions

They’ll save you! But can’t save this

Affair, a casualty for the backdoor morgue cemeteries

.

Wipe away the spit that’s fermenting on the windshield

This is the beginning of an ending of a road trip tour that failed

I’m just a pedestrian and you ran me over and out

But I got hit so hard, I lost my sense and twisted my mouth!

.

Let’s be honest, this turnpike romance was never gonna work

I guess you’re just a bad driver now and I’m the jerk…

.

(Confiscate my licence, hit the brakes now!)

.

You blacked out again and you never wanna wake up

This turbulence in California won’t have a gas station stop

I’ll save myself! I’ll save this acceleration

A passenger seat left empty come the overtaking horizon.

.

(Crash! Crash! These hearts are colliding, we’re in motion!

Red! Lights! Don’t call 911, we’re about to have fun!)

~*~

It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are
What my dreams are made of
Can’t fall asleep, can’t fall asleep
I lay in my bed awake, in my bed awake at night…

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Filed under Poetry

gone.

i want to

s a v e  y o u

because i

couldn’t save

m y s e l f.

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Filed under Poetry