i want to
s a v e y o u
m y s e l f.
i want to
s a v e y o u
m y s e l f.
The frame, the friction
It’s the reason that we all become aware
And we change for no reason
Some say it’s better to fall asleep and disappear
It’s time we finally look at what we’ve done
And wake up…
I cannot sleep, this haunt persisted to stay
I need a hand here to suffocate my throat
Lie, otherwise I won’t have another today
Amidst arctic isles and glaciers I will float
Don’t they know that’s all I dream about?
Perhaps I am just too ambitious to forget
Say I’m right, indulged in septic fantasies
Teetering at the edge of a cliff over death
But my jealous mind is pushing me farther
I couldn’t dissolve my nightmares, after all
Standing with my back against the red sun
And screaming, I have never felt more tall
I am another thought that lacerates skins
If you bleed out because of me, so let it be
Seeking an escape, the exit sign’s blinding
And I’m chasing circles away from misery
I am slipping out, my foothold is unstable
Through rain and ashes, I bathe in debris
Threads unravelling of stitches miserable
I cannot fall from touch, never sedentary
I’ve wished for a dollar that I won’t be rich
They call me insane, but that’s the way it is
The point I try to make is never transparent
But the light from my lies makes it apparent.
So here we are, we’re waiting for a fall
And on the radio they’re calling on satellites
Like they’re going to save us all…
i’m just gonna
and kick away
under my feet
so i’d save my
little ass from
deal with the
i fucking caused
from a rope
i tied around my
i loa[REDACTED] [REDACTED] out [REDACTED] tor, alw[REDACTED] remember.
i can’t bear the thought
of this pen moving
and throwing up useless
bullshit yet again…
why do i try? why do i try?
i want to reach for you.
you’re only five feet six inches
short, but when i stand on
your shoulders, i see the whole
universe tearing itself up
apart in neon explosions and
and i’m the maestro conductor,
tapping away and waving
the concatenations, every beat
of discord, and the astral
symphony of an entropy.
save me with your caramel arms
don’t let me get sucked in
by the impending black hole
that nullifies every cell, every
song, every damn belief
in my body and system, until
i am reduced to cosmic echoes
of a voided wavelength,
and somehow i would rather
let this planet eat me away.
but don’t let my god go
away for me, love every comet
and asteroid as if it were
my heartbeat and soul,
manipulate the disaster of
my negative existence,
and kiss me goodnight on
this somnolent moontide.
i stopped these knives for you
i’ll make you proud again.
this time, i won’t let the demons
steal my comets and win.
my dearest s.d., you were
always a giant standing among
toy soldiers, so commandeer
the garrison of the angels straight
to heal my stretched humanity
and make my universe spin
once again. i’ll wish for your
comforting star each lonely night,
s.d., so please watch over me
and hope i don’t fall away this time.
love, wishes, and goodbye; signed,
your bleeding little blue moon.
So here we are then,
Two night owls refusing to sleep
12 AM beckons now
And yet we’re indulged far in deep
So here we are then,
Imaginations fraught with sorrow
Maybe we’ll regret this
But we can save that for tomorrow.
″Can we create something beautiful and destroy it?″
Destroy the dreams I’ve lost at sea
I’ll be a titanic sinking for you
Trident of Triton, my silver mercury
Your ocean lips will never rue.
″No more eyes to see the sun.″
Nobody knows I cry gold at night
And ichor bleeds crystalline light
Nobody knows how dark I’ll grow
Yet they wonder why I never glow.
″Cinderella’s gone, she swallowed up the sun.″
Sunshine eyes, they wake me up
Of luminance I can’t get enough
Sunshine eyes, they flare angrily
Burned my skin and faded sadly.
″In the sunset turning red behind the smoke, forever and alone.″
A chain of daisies keeps me bound
Embrangled in a thicket of insanity
Forever drowning in petals unfound
Trapped in redolence and caducity.
″Is this fantasy real, or is it all homemade?″
I’m barely hanging on, exuviate my soul
I vacitinated my fate and played my role
Don’t catch me again, it’s a malison free
No periapt, nitid abstergent can save me.
Licking your fingers like you’re done
And you’ve decided there is so much more than me
And baby honestly it’s harder breathing next to you, I shake
I brought a gun and as the preacher tried to stop me
Hold my heart, it’s beating for you anyway…
There is a delusion of us I hoped vainly to abstain
I’d lust after this dissolution, but it never remains
Both blank eyed, watching kaleidoscopic scenery
Against smoky shadows of automatic machinery
I am a Tom Sawyer stuck in the American Gothic
So drive a pitchfork in my chest, call me pathetic
I’m used to heaving, this deluded boy won’t think
Pastel pink of watered-down blood lining the sink
Now my tongue is fettered to the roof of my mouth
Preoccupied with my dizzy little girl from the south
Her poison scented soft like a postcard from France
Breaking off both wrists with her single cold glance
You gave me a present, I wasted it reaching the past
I swear these mnemonics were not supposed to last
I won’t be able to retrieve those nights that you stole
Crushed like my soul to draw my portrait in charcoal
Your silver necklace is beginning to tighten like a noose
The chain links are tiredly tarnished but I can’t set loose
I’ll die clashing against gold and in monochrome lockets
Please save my heart dizzy girl, and hide it in your pocket.
What if I can’t forget you?
I’ll burn your name into my throat
I’ll be the fire that’ll catch you
What’s so good about picking up pieces?
What if I don’t even want to…?
Am I out of line
To tell you that
You’re not fine?
You tossed the
Agony and put
Away from time
You jumped off
The deep edge
Of the blue bed
And like pastel
Lipstick of pink
You badly bled
And you nearly
Drowned on the
That litter your
Floor like a pub
Late hour battle
You resolved all
Of the inane and
Sordid of issues
Nights are silver
Run from the sun
In the throes of a
Ransack this place
Find me or free me
From titanium walls
You trip out of love
Everything’s ok, but
Nobody even calls
I’ve saved someone
And left them alone
Is that a cold crime?
And am I out of line
By confessing that
You can’t ever be mine?
I thought it will
save us all.
a million dollar
for a museum
on the moon
on the mountain.
is too dumb
to avoid despair
been nursing that
cup of coffee
for ten hours
hoping to reduce
on their lips
and red and gold
sings with orbit
i thought it
will save me.
so where did