Tag Archives: save

Actus Reus

There’s snakes among us
That I never bothered to find
Starry eyed and tongue tied
Blurting out and rambling
On and on and on, just hit repeat
On and on and on, one more time…

~*~

You’re the nervous jury awaiting

And their guiltiest defender

Sucking on another infected scar

For an extra opinion to infer

.

So hang your pity party in a closet

Because nobody ever wants to see it

So let all of your hateful hang-ups rest

Because literally no one gives a shit

.

Let your empathy be sharpened

When your arguments are far too dull

Victimise your own worst assets

So nod your head and crack your skull

.

And bully us into carrying your bullying

How the fuck do you think you’re so scot-free?

Kiss ass to your baby, obvious pretending

How the fuck do you think anyone’s gonna believe?

.

Because you’re both the jury and the defender

And we’re just the prisoners lining up on your death row

Blame us for bullshit with damning evidence on your shoulders

And we can’t save ourselves, ’cause isn’t that just how your justice goes?

~*~

Once again, I’ve burned
And borrowed one and two
Turned black and blue
Poisoned before but found the cure
And been exhausted again…

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Maybe If You Were A Little Nicer (And Whined A Lot Less)

Your clothes and your motions, they caught my eye
It’s no disguise what you want from me
Your humor, the bait for a trap so contrived
It’s no surprise what you want from me—
Your perfume scent, the lies I’ll admit
Just more evident what you want from me…

~*~

Save the best

For your worst boy

‘Cause he’s such a charm

And I’m just your

Filthy little chew toy

Making you feel annoyed

Caught right up in your molars

And I’m willing just to

Take this too far

So pick me up and

Pick me out, bleeding

Gums and toothpick wit

Make you smile but

Without grit, but I’ll never

Give you bullshit

Like you did

When you bleached your

Self-esteem, just to

Make it look like all of the

Soulless models posing

On your cheap TV

Hoping that come January

You’ll be playing all their games

Making out with bigger names

But if not, at least you still

Have me to blame

Kissing me up and down before

You cash in my suffering

‘Cause I was just your

High shortcoming

Next to your no-good dad

And being nothing

Why are you so scared of living

When you haven’t done

A single fucking thing?

But hey, don’t let me

Be the barrier

A naysayer without fervour

Because my ambitions

Also felt the weight

When you decided that

I was never worth the wait

And I’m still saving the worst

For your greatest fall

I’ve crossed the line

So taste my beck and call

And I’m saving myself

Screw your best boy

I’ll break in your plastic decoy

Even if I’ll be destroyed

‘Cause I can’t wait to stop

This pretentious jersey drama act

And when all’s said and done

And gone, well

I won’t be annoyed

No, I won’t be the one still

Waiting on to be your

Ken doll fucking chew toy.

~*~

The right recipe but the wrong target
You’ll never get what you want from me
Got no quarters in my pocket
There’s no change to play your game
Your jokes aren’t funny anymore to me
I’m not the same fool that I used to be…

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Persecution Circus

Is it because I understand you, dear,

That our tongues refuse to speak?

Between faux light and serpentine

I dwell in which you peruse to seek

Whilst you accost my sideshow heart

Only five cents for an ungallant peep

Let strange faces gawk and sneer away

And if I’m unlucky, I might feel a pinch

.

Is it because I understand you, dear,

That we both lie to save our graces?

We befall into patterns labyrinthine

And spend centuries in mirrored mazes

Whilst every breath accused our throats

Of being crude vaudeville traitors

But the carousel shall spin and spin

As we destroy our own creators.

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hanap-ilaw (finding light)

kahit ano mang

idlip ng karimlan

huwag na huwag

mo itong bibitawan

sagipin mo na lang

ang mga nakaligtaan

at susundin ang irog

ng ating kalangitan.

despite the slumber

of the darkness

never should you

ever lose your hold

instead, may you save

what has been neglected

and love shall be brought

back by our heavens.

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weltschmerz

the wary thought

of october graves

in autumn sunrise

her name and yours

on an open letter for

the future young, as

old boats unfurl their

paper sails and the

breeze flows north

so often they whisper

.

“oh, i wish you had

never said a word”

their lacklustre ire

lesions seeping into

bandages and coffee

grounds and the very

last time you saw her

alive that day, of the

very last time you ever

felt alive, that fateful day

.

what more is left now?

statues still into monuments

and the gentlest reminder

of a violent decision that

carved another number

into your mausoleum, and

hers—it’s a strange way to

love, to unravel with her skin;

to twist, and to fade, and to

be the breath she always saves.

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colic

you are like

a bloom of cancer

in the pits of my

empty stomach

wide awake and half

meant for graves

and ingratitude

scarlet vindication

a twist of white lies

telling me everything is

alright, when i’ve got

one foot in your mouth

another decapitated

by the knife down

my back, nonetheless

but i’m coughing out

my veins anyway,

you reason—sad to

say that i see your point

and pray to it like it’s

my fucking gospel

like i’ll truly be saved by

your invisible god

because that’s all you

ever want me to do

you make me love feeling

like i’m far too weak

so i hope you’ll do me

one last favour and pull the

plug on me, just before

they find the miracle cure.

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the brightness of life

and at the end of

this asphyxiated

sunrise, what do

we have to gain?

was it a sense of

clarity, or simply

arrogant shame?

.

cross the threshold

hitting dead centre

the dark flags that

sheathed your eyes

will taint gold vision

with another kind of

negative space answer

.

because what was

left to pain, but all

the ones that were

cruelly left behind?

pretending empathy

while erasing names

off our fragile minds

.

too far lost to save

and recovering only

twisted histories and

rewriting our miseries

do you feel that sense

of serendipity, or do you

simply feel the same?

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Saviour?

Save me the hindsight

Save me all those bullets

Save me that white lie

At the tip of your tongue

.

Save me for the last time

Or save me for another

Like rainy days and sinners

Go save me for seconds.

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Insides

Keep the taste of suicide

Away from your filthy tongue

And wash it down with blowflies

Dancing by a loaded gun

‘Cause no one will ever save you

Alone by the edge of your seat

So just peel the lies out of your skin

And don’t let your brain bleed.

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I’ve Got All This Blood On My Hands (And None In My Body)

Stay out of the light or the photograph that I gave you
You can say a prayer if you need to
Or just get in line and I’ll grieve you
Can I meet you, alone, another night and I’ll see you
Another night and I’ll be you
Some other way to continue, to hide my face…

~*~

I wanna turn your insides to white (say it ain’t so)

So it looks good on my bedroom walls (black, blonde, red)

My heart’s been bleached by the tidal waves (so wash me out)

I wonder if it had any colour at all (maybe not)

.

(So they say that the switchblade is better than the sense)

Well then, let’s see how you look in basketcase drag

(So they say that all this praying won’t make you a saint)

Well then, let’s see how you look when it goes bad

.

It’s not profound or romantic (it’s a mechanical interlude)

And I’m tired of (waiting for) all the infinite eulogies

(And they all put words in my mouth that) make me feel sick

Babe, I just wanted to sever a vein (but you made it plural)

.

(The incineration of another night, the gunshots rang clear

The townspeople screamed as a body fell out of a windowsill

Sirens wailed and ambulances crashed to the beat of my heart

Screaming “fucking save me!”, but it was all a nightmare thrill)

.

‘Cause Magdalene’s desecrated (and her scripture womb) now ain’t sacred

‘Cause all your best friends will only get together when somebody starts to die

‘Cause you can have your fucking funeral but still end up running late for it

(‘Cause you might) say grace all you want and still throw up (pure lies)

.

(Say it ain’t so) I wanna turn your insides inside out

(Black, blonde, red) And end up drunk on your bedroom walls

(So wash me out) My heart’s been drowned off by the tidal waves

(Maybe not) I wonder if it meant anything to you at all.

~*~

And we’ll all dance alone to the tune of your death
We’ll love again, we’ll laugh again
And it’s better off this way
And never again, and never again
They gave us two shots to the back of the head
And we’re all dead now…

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