Tag Archives: secrets

Damaging The Hereafter

You’re just another momentary habit

Twisting lungs and curling veins

Giving way to indestructible hysteria

Pulling me in, writhing with grief

.

Your indifference entices my curiosity

Though my self-worth is quite expendable

Holding on to what we’ve barely got

When you were too afraid to hold my hand

.

Lethal enough to let you past the barricade

That separates my heart from my sternum

But the fault chews on my lips like kerosene

And I still taste you in the burning of sunrise

.

Mechanical angel, come and take me away

Our paradise is made of metal and crimson decay

I promise I’ll be fine, I’m only a past delusion

Conjured from the cordite against your perfume

.

But you won’t give me back the love I wasted now

And time crashes desperately against gritted teeth

Vehement tides exposing skins, dyed with misery

Clammy from the accidents, calling for emergency

.

Think of me in the afterwards, consumed with self-secrecy again

Your mysteries embedding a thin film of desire underneath my skin

Pulsating with fever dreams and acidic pain, a vicious garden growing

You let me relapse just to understand but the final thrill was missing.

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Ruthlessness

“The thing I think I love
Will surely bring me pain
Intoxication, paranoia
And a lot of fame…”

~*~

Mix me with plagues

Viciously tear me apart

Blue stains on your fingertips

As I declare uncivil war

.

Sleeping with deadbolts

And you bare your attacks

Break down the barriers

This death’s out to play god

.

Horror and sweetness

I can’t tell the difference

Decision’s full of derision

Bloat in fetid limerence

.

Devour my humanity

It’s what I fucking deserve

Scoop up my insides

Secrets all ready to serve

.

Seething with poison

Belladonna, touch me not

Betray me with a blink

There’s nothing left but blood

.

Bad infection and emotion

It hurts us all just the same

Eloquence holds decadence

Are you ready for some pain?

~*~

“Three cheers for throwing up
Pubescent drama queen
You make me sick, I make it
Worse by drinking late…”

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sneaking around

cowards

bite their cheek

and scratch

their words—

hiding behind

sugar and

insensibility

thin tapestries;

as safety lies

in triggers

and bad fibs

and a lockdown

paralysed still

with absence

insecurities

shallow secrets

all fermenting

into the taste

of warm blood

and crying wolves

as cowards

tremble badly

dry their lips

hold their breath—

what’s your

scandal, dear

loved one?

just what do you

think you have

to lose?

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Somnolence

I want you to swim past

Beyond the scattered polaroids

Covering up the linoleum floor

.

And I want you to breathe in

The memory of my lost phantasm

.

Drown as if your sleeping sternum

Was nothing but a mere tidal wave

And simply taste the particles of glass

That fall on your skin like dying snow

.

They’ll whisper secrets, will you take it to your grave?

.

I want your hands to feel numb

From the frozen stars asunder

I want your eyes to feel scorched

From the sunflowers dipped in gold

I want you to feel s o m e t h i n g

.

And I want you to tell me

How it all feels to you

Would you tell me how it feels?

.

Will you please tell me

What it’s like to feel?

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the house of sinners

You’ve fallen captive to what you thought would
Save you, what you thought would clean your slate
You’re in the thick of it now and you have swallowed the hook
What’s done is done, we’ll continue on with or without you
Pain must exist in order for healing to survive
Neither one will ever serve their purpose alone…

~*~

underhanded whispers

rotting foundations to the very core

flesh devoured by the ego

and cold blood sold to murder slaves—

black eye gouged for black eye

in this parasitic wasteland;

of a home built on crossbones

and mangled hearsay

swallowing teeth and anger

boiling harsh on explosive veins

devouring the starving bruised hearts

until all that’s left is arcane vitriol.

so tear my body apart to pathetic shreds,

expose the lies in my backbone

and make me believe fervently in

your hypocritical preambles,

distorted tales of abuse,

vile corrupted, asinine whining,

and the conjured-up apparitions at the

tip of your foul leather tongue…

i’ll pass it on to another fool;

taking them as you have taken me for.

because oh, i just adore

your stories of foolhardy orphans

and the secret adoptions that

you slipped in our coffee like poison

and now you have the nerve to grit

the dirty money between

your running mouth and say that

we don’t fucking deserve any of your trust

as you shamelessly go crawling back to your mistress

and weep behind red war paint.

a personal sadistic leverage,

that pathetic carnage of a temper of yours.

watch yourself before you accuse us

and don’t speak with the smoking gun

permanently lodged between your

pointing fingers like a quickly-burning cigarette,

because you’re gonna set yourself on fire.

and we’ll stand back and watch

the hostile flames convict you of arson—

among all of the other crimes

you’ve shamelessly committed against us,

because it’s the most merciful thing

we could ever do to you.

~*~

This is my goodbye, don’t worry
We saw through your trickery
And we’re coming out alive, see you at the end
What was once your life is now lifeless
What was once your life is now your jail cell.

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Cosmic Calamities

Moving on down my street
I see people I won’t ever meet
Think of her, take a breath
Feel the beat in the rhythm of my steps
And sometimes it’s a sad song…

~*~

GRADIENT

Get out of my head

And make your home in my stars

I won’t mind at all.

~*~

EBONY

Black holes and kisses

Hurricanes rest in our bed

Secrets for the moon.

~*~

OPALESCENT

Sunshine and smoke fog

You crawl past astral scorpions

Dance lyres in cold fires.

~*~

FACSIMILES

I’m made of strangers

And andromeda’s starlight

And constellations.

~*~

FADED

Sweet blue gravity

Am I still your reverie

Or did you let go?

~*~

Make everyday worth all of the pain
That I have gone through
And mama I’ve been cryin’
‘Cause things ain’t how they used to be
She said “the battle’s almost won
And we’re only several miles from the sun.”

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blood red, snow white

Wake up in a dream, frozen fear
All your hands on me
I can’t scream, I can’t scream, I can’t escape
The twisted way you think of me
I feel you in my dreams, and I don’t sleep…

~*~

vivid red, the camellias were

in full bloom today,

lush petals on a pillowed heart

.

i was finding my way

to return from tepid tides

breaking away from venus light.

.

are you hiding your needles?

From which i used to attract the

sovereign flies with, fettered

.

among suspicious hostile twitches

and pulled-off moth wings

decaying with secrets in the kitchen cabinet

.

i do not deserve absolution.

I deserve punishment and jealousy

patched upon each humilified aphorism

.

i am no longer concerned if i have

already bled out, or breathed in,

or both. or perhaps none.

.

but i am fairly certain of the

fingernail scars, tracing louvre patterns and

loveless artwork all over my arms

.

restrained; concealed amid furious

ensconcement and violent bruises

almost as pure and as fresh as

.

vivid red, the camellias were

in full bloom yesterday,

lush petals covering a beaten heart.

~*~

I can’t save your life, though nothing
I bleed for is more tormenting
I’m losing my mind and you just stand there
And stare as my world divides
You belong to me, my snow white queen
There’s nowhere to run, so let’s just get it over
Soon I know you’ll see you’re just like me
Don’t scream anymore my love, ’cause all I want is you…

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Native Tongues

How can they say that it’s one way
When it’s the opposite?
And how can they know the end
Of the story before I tell it?
‘Cause when I walk, your feet
They fall to the same beat
Or maybe we’re from two different worlds…

~*~

We used to be the epitome of mindless materialism

Taking apart brick and coin for a little inkling of fun

We talked away in circles, but never in infinity signs

But it didn’t last forever ‘cause we both wanted to die

.

For I never understood why you didn’t ever understand

Until we’re left with empty voices and mismatched hands

I translated it all wrong, you decoded nothing but misery

We spoke in undecipherable tongues, so now we’re history

.

Why did we waste such eloquent words on each other’s lies?

Breathing out sombre songs that never synced the beat right

Wrought desiccated eyes with apertures that flashed blindly

And we set out separate restrictions from the cold apologies

.

We turned back but never forward and we took a couple steps

Too far until we hit the brick walls, this was far beyond any help

How could we plead that it was one-way, intersections opposite

When the fault was a double-edged tongue talking about bullshit?

.

But behind this dead mess, I do admit I enjoyed all the endless chaos

Riding the hurricane with you, and making my own cyclone at a loss

I wish you the same, and let me say I hope you don’t regret and think

Don’t forget the secrets we shared when our native tongue goes extinct.

~*~

We talk to people
But they never understand
They think we’re crazy
‘Cause it sounds like noise to them
Ain’t it strange, all the things you hear
When you sit and listen?

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Does The City Sleep If Everyone’s Awake?

Drop every pretense, drown every sense you own
For the girl that you love, girl you loathe
Insistent pretext, so what does that make god?
To the girl that you love, girl you loathe…

~*~

Follow home the darkness in the midst of distorted lies

A bellicose pretence that overshadows the most jaded of eyes

Entering, surrendering the only control left to be held back

Indignant morose affability surreptitiously painted black

.

For the girl that you love left her heart in the shadows

She’s keeping it there locked tight and burning the evidence

And the boy of your dreams has a nightmare in his head

He keeps a musket under his pillow for such a circumstance

.

Secrets dripping at the tip of their tongue, are you getting tired

Ain’t it so pretty, the way their drunken minds are wired?

The curtain’s coming down, but the burlesque act continues

And the naked audience and all the masked actors are in on the ruse

.

The flickering streetlamps may not last until the end of sunset

And you may have lost your empty wallet stumbling in a cabaret

Taking profound philosophies from barkeeps, pouring another drink

Don’t know if that sleaze three tables over winked or just blinked

.

Follow home the oncoming intrusion of light in the haze of inebriation

An avaricious pretence that promptly overpowers any realistic temptation

Surrendering the only control that wasn’t there to hold back in the first place

Coruscating affiliations underhandedly leaving hearts without a single trace.

~*~

The girl that you love, girl that you love
Girl that you love knows you don’t
Followed her, followed her
Followed her, followed her home…

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Polaris

When my eyes’ve grown tired
Cause no night can’t survive with just a flashlight of hope
When all I said was bitter
And words won’t bring her back for more…

~*~

The stains on my fingertips are subtly disorienting

As I stumble on my throat, refusing to breathe in

You’re moving too fast for me to ever catch up

And all we can do is laugh quietly before we sin

I tell every aching bone to whisper about sad news

The shadows and the mist bring me closer to you

They say that the blood you expelled is recluse

But I’m terrified that my evergreen will turn to blue

And it wasn’t my fault that all the skeletons in my closet

Came bursting out, when I could no longer contain it

Understand that my veranda is always welcome and open

When the decisions overwhelm, and I’ll wait until then

Strumming the starrified strings on my ten-string cello

Until my fingers pluck constellations of the final crescendo

And when you find your way to that everlasting enigma

Look up and listen close to the sound of my north star fantasia.

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