Tag Archives: shades

Shades of You

Grey, that’s all there is now.

I used to be the brightest iteration of alizarin crimson, and I wore my lustrous colours proudly on my chest to disguise the bloody cancer secretly tearing irreparable holes inside my slowly-withering system. So bold and reckless I was, that soon I found myself losing full control and suddenly careening headfirst onto your blue brick wall, and well…the collision was more violent, more radiant, more spectacular than you and I and anyone else could ever begin to imagine. No freshest shade of unhealing bruise nor deepest sour of aged wine could ever compare to the stunning explosion of blinding indigo we left on the scene of the accident, that day. The perfect way your incandescent glows and mine contrasted together and exquisitely showered the atmosphere, it was rather exhilarating.

But like everything that’s been left out under the sun just a little too long, the vibrant hues we initially adored and reverently shared started to quietly fade; akin to a rampant disease viciously working its way past our frail bodies, fingertips first. We could do naught but weep dull stardust as we held ourselves together in the tightest embrace, in the desperate yet ultimately futile hopes that we could still preserve our deteriorating youth—that if we hid away well enough, we could keep even just a sliver, even just a sleepless teardrop, of the resplendent spectrum we once thought we would carry along with the siren songs of this universe forever.

But in the end, it was all for nothing.

Soon enough, you had strangely turned into a serpentine shade of lucid green, and my hazy eyes began to see nothing else but charcoal wastelands and bleeding ash. Oh, how we’ve both drastically changed. And maybe not quite for the better. Still, I don’t wish to stain your newfound emerald gleam with my obscene tenebrescence, so as much as it caused a solemn ache to my soulful bones, I decided to completely detach myself and stay away from you for the time being. Instead, I’ll simply attempt to completely capture your eternal likeness onto pure cotton canvas—resolutely translating all of those clashing galaxies and kaleidoscopic tones into softer stencils and lifeless monochrome.

Perhaps someday, if I blink the awaiting future away and press on my eyelids hard enough, it might conjure back even a stray phantom of the forgotten iridescence that your dull, graphite-sketched countenance used to boast; gentle pastels warmly seeping in and bringing back the dusky ochre in your hair, the cloudless afternoon horizons back in your irises, perhaps even reviving the blushing cosmos of your clever lips, boyish and lazily smug as it twists into an elegant sunflower smile. The worst kind. The kind I somehow find myself missing the most these days.

But for now, grey is the only undertone I unfortunately possess. And it’s the only way I could captivate your ephemeral memory to return home within my gossamer dreams night after night after night, until my tiring lungs finally let go of my last saved breath and I inevitably coalesce into a sepulchral heaven—a bleak, distorted paradise where I’ll be doomed to roam with fellow spirits of black and white, for deathless infinities to come.

And after then, after then…who will be left to remember your name?

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Repetitions

Clever minds think alike

Don’t you, don’t you think?

A line so blurred, I can’t decipher

In varying shades of both ink

.

Clever minds think alike

Can’t you, can’t you think?

A curse so shared, it’s almost weird

Or did your mind just blink?

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Shades of Blue

If I do what I came to do
I’ll break through in shades of blue
In red and gold, the lights
Will flash and strobe
And I will finally know
This is my home…

~*~

the taciturn rain,

sometimes quiescent drizzle,

sometimes clarion storm

reminds me of turquoise memories

.

of electric glitter nail polish

shaded onto fingernails

pointing in the wrong direction

and chipping at the edges

.

of hair that looks like clouds

but coloured blueberry-slushie sky

and is iridescently sweet

like a gloom boy’s laughter

.

of sulky mp3 players

singing sempiternal distractions with

symphonies of dizzy dreamers

and skyward soul collisions

.

of apathetic faded scarves

wrapped around breeze-bitten necks

subtly referencing a beloved one

of the same jaded violin notes

.

of self-made backpack straps

a final flicker of glimpsing hope

before cosmic turns infinitely invisible

and footsteps cease giving chase

.

of cerulean paint peeling off bus seats

revealing a dull sheathe of grey slate

of wailing sirens intertwined with alarming red

of the ocean navy pen composing this poem

.

of the sky and the sea, melting horizon’s clarity

stark in mindless scratches adhering to scarred skin

the taciturn rain, so quiet, that cobalt eyes never noticed

coldness ceased falling, as blue memories caught up with me.

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faded florals

cotton petals

wishing farewell

cherry blossoms

floral and fade

taste the synergy

falter my eyes

chase spectrums

rainbows unmade

floral and fade

carnation blood

paperback stories

fireworks in grey

california nightlines

sloshing out drinks

conjure medicate

colliding with shades

eternity i’ll spend

catching falling songs

i danced for the sun

gravity you played

four misadventures

subtle silhouettes

come back to my heart

goodnight you bade

sketches imperfect

of the perfect art

floral and fading boys

i hope you stayed.

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Blank Dream

I’ll float on endlessly
Senses alluding me
This long horizon to this open sea…

~*~

a gabardine slate

in falling reveries

jilted aquamarine

of sweet rosemary

and hues of pastel

flourishing in blots

in field of lavender

tying sailor’s knots

lost aurora borealis

an occasion of hues

vivid shades collide

fed up with the blues

a grey sky lights up in stars

and in starkest chromaticity

but somehow a blank dream

is all my hazy eyes can perceive.

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Filed under Poetry

Blue

midnight velvet

crowning my hair

navy shaded

almost onyx fair

blueberry dark

and spruce glow

aegean as the sky

denim as shadow

azure and lapis

a covert operation

pray look twice

you’ll miss notation

that ocean blue

plunging into abyss

daresay it’s black

ordinary as please

yet when sunshine

passes through

the admiral teal

billowing sapphires;

a riot of vibrant cobalt

it dares to reveal.

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My Viole[n]t Valentine

The amount of pills I’m taking
Counteracts the booze I’m drinking
And this vanity I’m breaking
Lets me live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay
With the words you say…

~*~

Pretty lavender plushes

Periwinkle cheek blushes

My Violet’s love, it hangs

In purple poison tongues

.

Her flowy heather dress

And deep magenta tress

Amethyst jewels so nice

Bloodshot sangria eyes

.

Just achieve this goal

And pull fast the trigger

To make the black hole

In my empty head bigger

.

True, I’m airheaded, yes

But I didn’t ever reckon

That it meant a skull less

And grey smoke in cranium

.

The lump in my throat

Growing with my hate

Is harder to swallow than

The titanium bullet I ate

.

Violet, what’s my sin?

Don’t remember the wine?

Or your iris-soft skin?

Or the mulberry skyline?

.

Or the plum bruises you got

From when we badly fought?

Or the sweet grape lipstick

That left me dazed, tricked?

.

I chewed up razor blades

Because it had hurt less

Than your kiss, as it fades

Leaving me in a bad mess

.

The rusty blood that I spat

Brighter than fresh crimson

Scarlet rose petals they sat

Thorns stuck in malediction

.

Your sweetest lilac scent

Hellish love so heaven-sent

You said we could both soar

Our mauve hearts feel sore

.

Now my hangman’s cradle

Is the only thing that’s able

Now to make me fly so high

Oxygen inhale but a bad lie

.

Though that wouldn’t compare

Violet, to the lack of breath I felt

When you said, so vividly purple

For me to go away and drop dead…

.

…Okay.

.

Violet, my love, you got off simply fine

Your dark wish was granted this time

Now won’t you care to also grant mine

And be my lovely violent valentine?

~*~

Well I’ll choose the life I’ve taken
Never mind the friends I’m making
and the beauty that I’m faking
Lets me live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay
With the words you say
Oh baby let me in, oh baby let me in…

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