Tag Archives: shallow

fell for it

heartache fucking hurts

especially if i’m hollow

i lose myself to the wind

and end up in tornadoes

heartache fucking hurts

especially if it’s shallow

i never lose, only to you

so what the hell do i know?

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The Castaway

Do you feel you’re not enough?
And impossible to love?
Or like if you spoke your mind
All your words, they would be too much?

~*~

You’re all growing up

And sailing across the tides

Without my untied knot

To render your destination

Oblique, to the oceans unknown

Where a red X marks the spot

.

Uncharted islands, they are

Waiting for your faint signal

For your toes to touch the shore

And your joyous cries to echo

Ringing against the salty breeze

For the treasures you have yet to adore

.

While I sit here, marooned

By my own spiteful conviction

Still tethered to tedious safety

I am unafraid of change, or voyages

Though; it seems, that they both

Are still very much afraid of me

.

While you celebrate among your kin

And depart; to further and vaster horizons

I can only bid you all a great farewell

As I’m stranded, not to my own volition

Shipwrecking paper boats and throwing coins

In my own shallow sea at the bottom of the well.

~*~

Well, I stepped back from
The doubts overtaking me
They were breaking me
So I know what you’ve been through
Don’t you stray or run away
From the good that I know you do…

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Inconceivable

What haven’t I done? What have I done?
What haven’t I done to deserve a cold war
On all sides? It’s so bleak all the time
“Stay with me. You’re alone in the center of hell. Just be.”
The longest winter I have ever seen
From hospital to hospital, repeat…

~*~

Her eyes won’t open up anymore

As the flower in her womb began to wilt tonight

Petals sifting into her nervous system

And she looks so good in bandaged white

.

Won’t you stay with me, please?!

The traffic lights won’t amount to the hell

That I’m driving myself straight into

Hoping to find her broken body at the end of the well

.

For a while, she was beginning to blossom

Delicate heliotrope blots dotting her pallid cheeks

But the intruding scarlet painted her open lips

She looks so beautiful, please let this be a trick…

.

Hold on, please hold on, I’ll be there with you

If only you’d take a breath if I held mine as long as I do

I could kill god for all the wrongs I’ve committed

But that doesn’t give him the right to take it out on you

.

Her pulsating shallow beat is slowly going thud thud thud

Like my fist on the hospital doors, I arrived in time for the flatline

As the thorns rage around her heart, the flower begins to decay

If she loses, then I’ve lost, I wouldn’t have it any other way

.

I can’t…I can’t believe this…why did you—why did you leave me?

My foot won’t ease on the pedal, and the carbon monoxide is choking

‘Cause there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and I can see her face

Calling out to me, the headlights blind me as I fall into her embrace…

.

C R A S H.

~*~

First I need to save the life of god
So that god can come and save me from myself
If I have to walk alone I’m giving up
I can’t stay here knowing love is not enough…

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Bleeding Eyes See It All

Every second’s soaked in sadness
Every weekend is a war
And I’m drowning in the déjà vu
We’ve seen it all before
I don’t wanna do this by myself
I don’t wanna live like a broken record
I’ve heard these lines a thousand times…

~*~

it doesn’t stay the same

every shredded inch

is just another reason for

you to patch it up and change

just so your bleeding eyes

could do some further damage

.

every lie soaking you in

they say it’s just a futile war

and the darkness is a myth

but you’ve seen it with your

own bleeding eyes, so you

know that it actually exists

.

and they tipped the avalanche

that buried you deep under

but refused to take responsibility

pushing your head underwater

but your own bleeding eyes

have seen it all before

.

and it doesn’t stay the same

every invoice on your shredded arms

is just another pathetic excuse for

you to erase it and start over

until your bleeding eyes could

shed their shallow tears no more.

~*~

We should feel the love so painfully
It hurts right to the touch
I know it stings, I know this cuts
And I wish I could agree with you
But this love is not enough.

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fringe

Your face in the glass, and it’s dark now
It was just a laugh, it was just a laugh
It’s whatever you say it is, split infinite…

~*~

a face in

broken glass

a murmur

in the darkness

a prayer in

the shallow sky

sane is lost

to all the madness.

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me, myself, and i

I wish it could be social commentary

But this is just a shallow me, me, me

Craving to care past my egocentricity

But I’m devoured by a pathetic misery

I wish I would stop all the maundering

When no sane ear wants to be listening

In the end, narcissistic throes are all lost

To self-hatred; such irony hurts the most.

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shallow

sure, just keep

on digging 

my own

fucking grave

after all,

just how any

more lower

can i even

fucking get?

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