Tag Archives: *shrug*

i can do shameless too (and this one goes out to you)

As we wake up in your room
Your face is the first thing I see
The first time I’ve seen love
And the last I’ll ever need
You remind her that your future
Would be nothing without her…

~*~

a s h a m e d

of violent emotions

branded on the

underside of my

numb, petulant brain,

making dizzy patterns

and dainty waves

and tracing cicatrices

of infantile graves,

returning to plague

what i always confused

and refused to admit…

y e s  i  c a n  f e e l

as the argent feathers

on your hair are effulgent,

dwelling ebony shades

escaping the delight of

my aspired clairvoyance.

they spite me for being

no stranger to the beggar

c a l l e d  l o v e

for always greeting it

rather fastidiously and

tossing a merciful nickel

whenever i chance upon it

on a bustling boulevard,

instead of spitting and

sneering condescendingly

and holding back my

burning tongue to trip it.

am i cruel for being kind?

dear, you’re a halogen

h a l l u c i n a t i o n

and i am but a yonder

sabotaged daydream

and i shall keep on falling

victim to your musings,

like a burning ochre moth

to the sickly sweet fragrance

of the kerosene oil…

so, is that truly my solitary

t r a n s g r e s s i o n ?

for being able to accept

what i’ve always constantly

abhorred and denied,

only to discover in denouement

that i’m the only fool that’s

crashing unsteady bridges

and drowning in the process—?

i shall not be craven of

the grander bouts of unknown,

for i’ve my own armament

tucked and hidden away

in a four-chambered dungeon;

ready to slash and shear

at the abstract canvas which

they all mocked as an

i n s u l t i n g  a r t w o r k .

you are not incarcerated,

but i am yours perpetual to

black out to the moon

and i will return from my

stratosphere holiday carrying

a souvenir star, lifting

the light to you, so that we

will never have to be

a s h a m e d.

~*~

If you kiss me goodnight
I’ll know, everything is alright
Second chances won’t leave us alone
Won’t leave us alone
‘Cause there’s faith in love…

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Merry Christmas Is Too Cliché, I’ll Burn Down Your House Instead

Now I hope you’re happy with yourself, ’cause I’m not laughing
Don’t you think it’s kind of crappy what you did this holiday?
When I gave you my heart, you ripped it apart
Like wrapping paper trash, so I wrote you a song
Hope that you sing along, and it goes
“Merry Christmas, kiss my ass!”

~*~

I waited 359 days for the day

You’ll wake up and see the star blink out

On the top of your christmas tree

And I’ll be just fine and merry

‘Cause baby, it’s cold outside

And the weather’s as frigid as your soul

But guess you knew all that

When you buried me under the snow

And the bells may be a’jingling

But my face is numb and tingling

From all the endless and forced laughing

As the carolers continue wailing

Say you’re Santa Claus ‘cause you went to town

I got my eggnog when I got you down

You once were sweet like striped candy cane

And now you’re just stuffed like a red stocking again

But 12 days ain’t enough to keep you satisfied

I’ve had my fill, now I wanna throw up

The silent night turned into total manic chaos

All I want for christmas is you, to shut the fuck up

I’m on my own, so wrap me up

Like a delicate present, and rip me up

I’ll be the cookie drowning in your sweet milk

The soot in your chimney, coal and ink

And play, and play all the songs once more

About how this holiday is keeping score

Month of goodwill, hope, and festive season

When it’s nothing but a festering commercialism

Naughty’s being nice, and Santa ain’t true

But even if he was, well he won’t ever visit you

Gun down the sleighs, trip the reindeers

Ho ho holy shit this whole thing is just a derriere

But christmas miracles do happen, so they say

And your good-for-nothing face went away

I hope you choke on your tinsel and peppermint

I’ll hang myself by the christmas lights like an ornament

The sense of rude nostalgia, and all the childish feels

Of you begging for more presents, you got me hot on my heels

And if the decorations are blocking your misery

Call me gingerbread man, because you can eat me

And tonight I’m gonna burn the mistletoe down

To forget what happened under its boughs

And use it as minty poison on my lips

For your goodbye kiss, pucker up, and I’ll take it real slow

‘Cause I waited 359 days for the moment

Thar I could write another trite and cliched song

About my damn trashy special little snowflake

And how everyone got this christmas bullshit all wrong.

~*~

No, fuck you girl, I’m going out
I gave you my all, but our love hit a wall, now
I’m jingle belling, and everyone’s yelling
We’ll drink ’til the bars shut us down
Ain’t that just what Christmas is all about?

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sounds of pain in the haemorrhage of a beast

the thoughts that confine

and slow down the

softer sounds of pain

as the beast in my mind

slips and slurs again

tonight; it shall sleep

but the sky is still

spinning under zero gravity

and the madness still

tastes like alcohol forbidden

on my hanging tongue

with every stupor prayer

that releases and unleashes

itself under my nerves,

the weakness manifests in

forms of darkness and

silhouettes and bulletproof

hearts lying under a pressure

and severed lust again

no more shall serpents hiss

about the aspiration and

initiation, all subdued into a

paralysing self-sedation

in the vigil of a ghostly moon

reflected under a lake

like a hallucinated mirror

glimmering in blades

swinging its pendulum knife

downwards, inch by inch

until the thoughts that

confine and slow down the

softer, senseless sound of pain

reaches the beast in my mind

and it bleeds out again.

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Concrete Shoes

Cling on tight to loose ends
Claim they’re afraid of them, when I tried to save them
I couldn’t do it; vodka tonic breakdowns
Is twenty really that tiring? ‘Cause lately you’re spiraling…

~*~

I was always terrible at hiding the facts

Trace the letters on your fading palms

Baby, seasons change but bloodstreams don’t

We can’t rewrite the eulogy of the fallen sun

My head contacted the cemented floor

I lost track of my concussions, I lost score

These amber lips beating behind my ribs

Smiling ironically on sapphire tears

I’ve gone for days without any hint of sleep

The ghost of you is counting my sheep

Mornings built on bad nights and brown clay

But I’m not afraid to fall and float away

The meltdown we had was not simply sympathetic

And every flaw was a mordancy melodramatic

The situations to face on clashing conversations

Leading chilly glances and leaving for a “vacation”

But you didn’t have to scream at me when everyone was listening

I’ll forgive but not forget, this concrete rain is so paralysing

I’ve got bricks for shoes, and you were the one who tied the shoelaces

But despite the weight, I won’t sink lower than you, and I’ll finally find peace under the currents.

~*~

(It’s like I’m living with)
Concrete strapped to my feet, tossed out into the sea
Why you gotta scream at me when everyone is listening?
Calm down, you’re waving that gun too fast, you’ve got to breathe
How am I gonna talk to you when I’m wearing bricks for shoes?
Yeah, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, r-e-t-e-e…

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Ring the Bell Referee, and Let the Fight Begin

Such a shame you had to go and run your mouth
Your mouth is what you make it but at least I’ve got real friends—
Can you hear me now?! Now that I’m a big star!
Fuck you and your new love for yourself! (It don’t mean shit…)

~*~

Life is a kickass enemy, and the rage is a motivation

Let the judges slit my throat over my unorthodox declaration

It’s hard punches and cold lunches packed with action

Move closer to me now, and step into my own creations

Say my sullied name again, I’m stronger than before

I left my shoes under the bridge so when I fly, I feel lighter

Honestly it’s not that easy to have half of my fun

But this crimson ink bleeds so I won’t have to use a gun

My fingers they splinter from frenetic movements

If I’m still alive right now, I’m only breathing in segments

Ideas run wild and I stumble, I gotta pace to keep up

And I have to learn more about gravity to get the last laugh

Hear the sound of my voice among a stentorian million

Fuck the stars and dollar bills that sing against my emotion

I’ll whisper in silver undertones and break my voice on needles

Roll the dice but you can’t solve all my cryptic riddles

Don’t take my jealous life of matches and propane lights

Kill it fast, don’t let it die, I’m on a hurricane tonight

Spit and masticate the contract written on skin and paper

Throw the shreds in the seafloor bed under the polluted waters

But oh my god, I’ve been looking in the wrong direction

Running away in pilchard pastels over twisting intersections

This turnpike velocity won’t be my ultimate weakness

I’ll try not to splinter my soul, I’ll try never to second guess

So stop staring at me now, your glare is nitrogen seething

I promise I’ll be even later for our preliminary meeting

I’ll praise the chicken scratches I’m proud to call my home

Cursed again, this foolish confidence just won’t leave me alone

I’m exhausted, I’m burnt-out, and everything quavers spasmodically

But shit I’ll use my own words, I’m not gonna borrow from the dictionary

I know this adrenaline high will wear out soon, I’ll collapse from temporary exhilaration

But goddamnit I’ll drag my broken legs to hell if I have to, and I’ll abuse this rare motivation.

~*~

And I’ve got so much to give
But I would kill just to feel less invisible!
And you’ve got so much to learn about gravity
So live it up baby don’t look down
(Live it up baby, don’t look down…)

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Fine Lines and White Lies

Am I out of line

To tell you that

You’re not fine?

You tossed the

Agony and put

Away from time

You jumped off

The deep edge

Of the blue bed

And like pastel

Lipstick of pink

You badly bled

And you nearly

Drowned on the

Alcohol bottles

That litter your

Floor like a pub

Late hour battle

You resolved all

Of the inane and

Sordid of issues

Within dangling

Knives alongside

Smeared tissues

Desperation and

Backyard dances

Nights are silver

Run from the sun

In the throes of a

Haunted summer

Ransack this place

Find me or free me

From titanium walls

You trip out of love

Everything’s ok, but

Nobody even calls

I’ve saved someone

And left them alone

Is that a cold crime?

And am I out of line

By confessing that

You can’t ever be mine?

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Kerberos

Scarlet red, midnight black

Blood intertwining darkness;

A chemical romance resulting in death.

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