Tag Archives: shut

anatomical dissection: ears

the very ends of my

threads are frayed

and my earphones

tangle up and unravel

as i intertwine them on

my fingers and press play

i’m going deaf from

listening to too much

of this earsplitting music

but it’s the only thing

that can shut out the

noise of this world and

the noise in my mind.

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Filed under Poetry

Hold On, Fall Away

Do you know
I count your heartbeats before you sleep?
I bite my fingernails to bone
And then I crawl back under the stairwell
To a place I call my home…

~*~

Hold on, she says, and her suspended voice feels like a serpentine blossom, mutinous choking thorns wrapped gracelessly around the wall of my deflated lungs’ chambers, puncturing them effectively and leaving me gasping for the air that never enters my mouth.

But I can’t breathe anymore, I implore.

Hold on, that simple phrase again, manipulative and senseless, gently caressing the convoluted scars on my wet face like quietly-raining feathers from a fallen divine being’s cast wings, the burning touch barely grazing past decrepit flesh, ethereal and gossamer.

I didn’t want to miss anything, but the wind is chafing my dehydrated eyes. So I blink. I suddenly feel dizzy and nearly fall flat on my back, reveries resting as I attempt to steady myself. Sleep would be so merciful right now.

Hold on, another rousing round to jolt back the drowsy senses of my rapidly-decaying nerves. Each uttered word is like the sweetest taste of corrupted fruit in an exegesis dream, and I can’t allow myself to swallow it anymore, even if I took the first bite of sin.

Don’t make me do this. A foreign voice breaks the muffled barrier, and I flinch in static shock before shamefully realising that the unfamiliar sound was my own. Who…who was I now?

Hold on, the conversation hits like a loaded shotgun with a chipped bayonet, bullet penetrating the back of my head and cracking my skull once, before the sharpened blade cleanly slices through my wandering brain, a merciless double kill for certainty. Bang. Crash. Slash. Crack. Death.

I’m forgetting the colour of your hair now, the dainty lavender scent that follows you around everywhere you flutter, the way your plush lips mouthed serenades that collided and lit up fireworks in my reflection; I’m forgetting the sensation of seeing you, of wanting to see you again.

Hold on, the promenading whisper has amalgamated into an earsplitting scream now, dangerous hedonism dancing in demons and demigods around my shattered ears, past my constricting throat, relentlessly waltzing in wearied circles over and under what used to be the armistice memory of you.

No—My deteriorating vision blurs and falters, cascading and collapsing in iridescent shades of gold and silver, coalescing in glistening hues of diamonds and rubies, fluctuating in pastel blossoms of jasmines and forget-me-nots, all before shutting down into that damning void of sempiternal blackness. The last thing I saw with my weakening sight was her colourless ashen eyes tear up once, twice.

Hold on…was the last thing I ever heard.

~*~

Murder the moment!
My god, I’m the serpent
I’m sorry, I can’t see
That you truly love me…

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Filed under Prose

A Lightless Window

Lately when I’m alone I keep thinking about the past
I’m trying to feel weak in my knees again
I want to stand up straight like when I graduated
I just want to be, just let me be worth your time…

~*~

The blinds remained closed

As the person behind them thawed

Melting into evanescent shadows

They’ve been crying for a while, now

.

The stars may seem decadent

But all they taste of is a violent death

Apologies may seem so early

But they’re always a subsequent regret

.

And heartaches are cured

By the lifelines on your opened palm

Begging for another chance

To be saved from anyone, by anyone

.

But the blinds remained closed

As the person behind them coalesced in glow

Falling away into vice and virtue

And they’ve been screaming for a while, now.

~*~

Too much time spent overthinking
Yeah, I’ve spent too much time
Feeling like I should be sinking
I can’t fix everything around me (And it’s okay)
I can’t make everybody happy (And it’s okay)…

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Filed under Poetry

eyes wide shut

a severed midnight

taking the calls of a thousand

dreaming souls, fading

.

i wonder if the rain will wash us away

.

drifting into a somnolent embrace

against clashing tides of aegan

until i have sand in between my fingers

breathing in the hawthorn blossoms

.

reaching again until it falls

and stops crying beneath my feet

.

just close your eyes and softly

rest amid sounds of synaptic crickets and

faint traces of chanterelle

between your slightly-open mouth

.

waiting to hold onto forbidden auguries

coalitions of sweeter reveries

i couldn’t find behind your eyelids

.

and then, perhaps, after a million years under

the stars, i’ll open my eyes to revelations

.

the light sleeps on. where can we be alone to watch them?

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Filed under Poetry

Blah Blah Blah

You can try but I will not obey, I will not obey
You’re not a God, I’m not your slave
And you can try but there’s no controlling me
I’ve had enough, the shit you preach
You talk too much, swallow your teeth…

~*~

Bite your tongue and clench your teeth

Hold your breath and chew your cheek

Shut your mouth and bleed out your lips

Taste the blood foaming, ain’t it sweet?

.

When the lies aren’t enough to hold you back

And the conversations form into a spiteful god

They’re all talk talk talk, but never say a word

The gossip so lurid, crashing down your worlds

.

And would they believe you if it was the truth?

They’ll just call you a preacher and a hypocrite

And would they believe you if you told no evil?

Litanies affixed to your names like it’s bullshit

.

‘Cause there’s no place for an honest man in hell

And there’s no place for sinners wishing you well

All that’s clean is replaced by regurgitation and bile

And people whispering rumours, stuck here a while

.

So just burn your tongue and swallow your teeth

Choke down your breath and rip off your cheeks

Shut your fucking mouth and bleed out your lips

To taste the gory lies foaming, oh, ain’t it so sweet?

~*~

With so much hate, you drown in shame
The angels cry but you won’t change
You built your world on fear and pain
The snakes will surely sing your name…

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Filed under Poetry

dormir

Let me rest

And shut down

To recover

And heal myself

Let me sleep

I’ll just slip away

Into oblivion

Don’t wake me up.

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Filed under Poetry

☆ never ★

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

shut the door on

those naysayers

and enter that

needle that gets

you in heaven

the pendulum is

whining, time

for you to hitch

your dress and

clamber up eleven

impossible! they

whinge, no way!

they maunder and

cry, but it’s a ploy

to get them even

never? why, the

only never you know

is, to those nobbled

preachers, you

should never listen.

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

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Filed under Poetry, Southern Constellations