Tag Archives: silence

undertownes

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another hopeless mantra

of odes beyond understanding,

beyond sloppy replacement,

beyond our neverending

lost cause of a losing moonchild

towed away by triptych tides

gazing in the southern hemisphere

no space left for goodbye

only mornings of infused silence

a depth so shallow, bones

will fracture and eyes shall turn to

undefinable stone, uncarving

the furious migraine feels almost

well-deserved, now. yet this

insomnia is only a punishment

if i accidentally blink and start to

sink below, now—there is no

current left for me; your calm, your

call, your cast penumbra over

my ignored ventures to seek out

every wasted drop of the lifeless pulse

you label as a counterpart,

but this i know if then—this much i

know, your bleeding mantra only

speaks to the clemency of my unworthy.

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ritualistic envy

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sinking feeling

settling

spirals rise to

the cold surface like

sweet seltzer in a

glass, then tipped over

make it last

stomach acids

feeling placid

feeling rancid

left aghast

.

sinking feeling

screaming

stipples reek of

rare senescence, faint

scented like for the

mass, bold incenses

yet won’t last

sickened silence

feeling spastic

feeling plastic

left aghast

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killing time

the afternoon splits

into several interludes—

a sip of watery coffee,

sudden mouthful of ice

staring at the graphite

face that no longer looks

like any human being

fidgeting; toss a chewed-up

toy past a protesting flick

of an orange striped tail

switching out playlists

genre adventuring before

a sudden flood of migraine

abruptly halts that journey

crushed biscuit crumbs

and the odd pungent smell

of ketchup that refuses to

air out and leave, somehow

pangs of anxieties caught

in between unfilled cavities

good enough? bad enough?

pretending to be properly

productive, as if there’s no

complaints nor conversation

and just radio silence from the

other end of a blinking mobile

as everyone else is busy with

living, and i’m still fazing frozen

in another dead-end afternoon.

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lesser of evils

sever the guidance

that takes on the dirt

transforming their silence

dismember your worth

.

crushed like full moons

finger pointed and waiting

meet your maker soon

but escape their sedating

.

remove the pure persistence

that dares test your goodwill

and if all else calls to failure

hold up your soul and kneel.

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Cloud District

Soft thrums of raindrops

Against scarlet canvas

Crushed flower petals

Bleeding out pink on

Oceans of grey puddles

Pooling on the asphalt.

.

Shorter days, lonelier nights

Blue shoes over fresh graves

Cracks on the warm concrete,

Forgotten in the solstice midst

And a song stuck between silence

Of a boy lost under his umbrella.

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multiverse

Remember me, she whispered
Heaven’s so far out of reach, and keep me close
Like a moment you’re afraid to leave
So now this is how it feels when you’re all alone
This is how it feels when your heart starts racing
You can ask but you’ll never know
The way it feels, the way it feels…

~*~

we’re not in the same universe anymore

and our tears flow in different states—

almost as that of plasma and gravity,

perhaps identical, but not at all the same.

the nostalgia creeps up like bated breaths

dead into the silence in the middle of the night

and it stays to suffocate the humid air—

and it stays to suffocate the insomniac mind.

there’s some form of sophisticated equanimity

that was achieved by neither of our farewells,

because the end was approaching at breakneck speed

and there simply wasn’t any time to be more polite

cutting out crass with guns we left in each other’s mouths

hoping the trigger doesn’t get pulled with our fingers

like issues, contorted into funny shapes that don’t make sense

breaking off has never been so easy as a lacklustre smile

but the stars never forgive, even when they forget

and the light from the horizon flickers indistinguishably

forming a supernova of your voice, faint though almost palpable

branded like indelible ink stains on the canvas of my brain.

this reverberating staccato, this thoughtless caprice, this infinite lethargy…

it never ceases to write cold epistles even when i am fast asleep.

oftentimes, i look into the other dimension of that cracked mirror

into the faceless impostor, the version of me that existed

before you killed it off, and before i killed you off in my plane,

and wish to the efflorescing quarks that you’re feeling the same way.

~*~

Lost and terrible, hollow in ways you’ll never know
If it’s all in my head, all in my head
It’s heavier now than it’s ever been, so fake a memory
Keeping me quiet underneath
And if this is the end, if this is the end
Destroy everything and make it new again…

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Torment

I hurt myself again today

And I’m sorry that I did

I don’t know. Why am I so afraid

Of never bleeding out?

.

The silence speaks to me

And it speaks in a thousand voices

And it tells me what I’ve done

.

I know what I have done

.

I want to undo everything

And start somewhere

That doesn’t involve any bruises

And burns over marred skin

.

If only someone could tell me

Where that is

.

So I don’t have to be lost

In a tidal wave of old promises

As old as forsaken happiness

I said I would always try to keep

But gave away to the grasp of time

.

It was my forgotten concept

But with no one to teach me again

It’s all I can do to remember

And try to heal what’s left of me.

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Monsoon Wish

Just two days after the first of June
A pine with arms brushing off the dew
Unlike a sky copious with death
Precipitation of heart and head
Should wash the rest of her youth away…

~*~

Hey rain, ain’t you simply so sweet?

I’ve got a dollar on my heart and a nickel on my teeth

You’re unpredictable, I’m unreliable

Weave me a liquid chandelier from northern downfalls

I’ve got an amethyst dream memory

Such limitations are for not my pseudonymous reveries

And I watch them on my windowsill

Rewinding June’s finesse, as my lukewarm coffee spills

.

Hey rain, ain’t you simply so sweet?

I’ve got a song on my heart and ten albums on my teeth

Dedicated to you, an ode for evergreen

As each quavering soul begins to feel your sapphire skin

My bedroom is cold, a frostbite cinema

Forte crescendo of wooden floorboards, a classic wisteria

My breaths are cadenced, silence unsung

Hey rain, won’t you spare me a little sugar for my tongue?

~*~

Our days spent crossed out of Sunday school
July has always been shy of June
Some monsoon, monsoon, monsoon
Come heavy of a golden hue
My monsoon monsoon, monsoon…

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Fill In The Blanks

Regrets infesting before the final choice is made

A look-back taken the wrong way, as resolution fades

Can’t catch a break when I’m running with fractured legs

So I sit in the sheer silence of my own fucking mess

I want to take back something that hasn’t even been done

Exchange clear rationality just for the sake of jumping the gun

When the count’s already over and the ticking clock has won

It leaves only myself wondering until I’m left with none.

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