Tag Archives: sink

metal & skin (xii.)

with every word

and foolish lies

that sink within

the blade swings

even closer to my

anticipating skin.

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She Sings Nightmares to the Ocean Waves

Someday I’ll drive, close both my eyes
We’ll swim in circles in the blue lights
And I just want to fade away into the sky under the sea
A million kisses underwater as we walk into the ocean…

~*~

Drive me to the edge

You know I’ll let myself fall

Without any ado or fail

I’m caught up in your gale

Choking on the crumbled stars

Reaching for your guitar

As you paint musical notes

Pastel on my bleached wishbones

To keep my stiff blue nerves

From aching for home

.

This rain won’t stop anytime

A deadly deluge of blood

My lacerated lungs aren’t fine

And my cut wrists are handcuffed

To the screaming moon

I’m sorry I can’t dream for you

The sunset’s far too soon

I have to pay for my wasted crimes

I can’t gnaw on diamond bars

But I swear, I swear I’ll try

.

You say you’re just an animal

With an abyss for eyes

But you look goddamn beautiful

Hiding under my bed tonight

I’m just a pretty monster

Hell, why would I let you go?

I need your beauty to breathe

If you wanted to sink, just say so

I won’t let the air bubbles

Escape my lavender tinged mouth

I’ll twist my knotted fingers

And drift in your undertow south

.

Those ocean flesh tone lips

Look liquid against the lightning

Cold heats aquatic reveries

As we find ourselves ironic smiling

About an eternity of nothing

But somehow under the waves

I’m dying of dehydration

Parched, thirsting only for your

Most frigid of serotonin

I know water will only burn me

Like concoctions of sulphur and sin

.

I’m drowning in my nightmares

Singing of your sweet victory

And splashing your starry sunflowers

From lost days of poignant isolation

In a neverland where I’m happy

So dear, when you shift under the

Blankets and begin to slow

Your breathing, please save it

All for the whispering feather pillow

And bury your quiet laugh

In the silver locks of my tangled hair

Shhhhhhhh…don’t wake me up.

~*~

Do you see me at all under the tall waves?
Do you see me at all?

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Concrete Shoes

Cling on tight to loose ends
Claim they’re afraid of them, when I tried to save them
I couldn’t do it; vodka tonic breakdowns
Is twenty really that tiring? ‘Cause lately you’re spiraling…

~*~

I was always terrible at hiding the facts

Trace the letters on your fading palms

Baby, seasons change but bloodstreams don’t

We can’t rewrite the eulogy of the fallen sun

My head contacted the cemented floor

I lost track of my concussions, I lost score

These amber lips beating behind my ribs

Smiling ironically on sapphire tears

I’ve gone for days without any hint of sleep

The ghost of you is counting my sheep

Mornings built on bad nights and brown clay

But I’m not afraid to fall and float away

The meltdown we had was not simply sympathetic

And every flaw was a mordancy melodramatic

The situations to face on clashing conversations

Leading chilly glances and leaving for a “vacation”

But you didn’t have to scream at me when everyone was listening

I’ll forgive but not forget, this concrete rain is so paralysing

I’ve got bricks for shoes, and you were the one who tied the shoelaces

But despite the weight, I won’t sink lower than you, and I’ll finally find peace under the currents.

~*~

(It’s like I’m living with)
Concrete strapped to my feet, tossed out into the sea
Why you gotta scream at me when everyone is listening?
Calm down, you’re waving that gun too fast, you’ve got to breathe
How am I gonna talk to you when I’m wearing bricks for shoes?
Yeah, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, r-e-t-e-e…

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A Week Washed Up In Melancholy’s Undertow

~*~

SUNDAY: TIE ME UP AGAIN

The bright stars are rudely burning my eyes

And that cherry sunset sky is badly rotting

The moon frowns back in a dulled disguise

When my soul finds life severely disappointing.

~*~

MONDAY: YOU COULD FILL ME IN

I dial the knobs and tune to your station radio

And once upon a time, I heard melodic music

But your airwaves changed into a distorted audio

And now all I hear is a dinning unpleasant static.

~*~

TUESDAY: I’LL BE FINE WITH IT

I shoot my bullet kiss through a small shaky dime

Held between your teeth and trembling fuchsia lips

An inch more, a heart-less, and you might’ve died

But are you glad, my dearest love, that I’ve missed?

~*~

WEDNESDAY: I KNOW HOW TO SWIM

Call my arctic cloudy hopes dangling overhead

But it’s raining storms, a cumulonimbus crying

And I’m left shivering, sneezing, badly drenched

Rendered sick by my own coldest falling optimism.

~*~

THURSDAY: SEND A HURRICANE TO ME

These playground games are no longer fun

The red metal swing set is creaky and rusted

Empty staccato of children shouting as they run

From a happy childhood long past evanescenced.

~*~

FRIDAY: SINKING NEVER FELT SO SWEET

Fade in, fade out, show of just another sfumatic spectre

Blending in the vestiges, blending in the damp colours

Fade in, fade out, fade until I turn into an invisible grey

Waiting for the day I fail to reappear and completely fade away.

~*~

SATURDAY: STUCK IN YOUR UNDERTOW

Bobbing against the deepest aquamarine waters, float, sink, float, sink, float, sink, float

Submerged into an abyssal trench of disconsolence, hanging barely by a splintered boat

Drown, gasp, struggle by the waves, yet in the end I curl into a peaceful ball and sink slowly

And accept the pressure that crushes my weakened lungs as I drift in undertows of melancholy.

~*~

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The Bleeder And The Sinner

Your words were written in cold blood 
Anatomy of a ghost, invisible friend
I won’t pay for sanity ’cause I don’t want to know
Some things are better left alone…

~*~

I deserve no more no less, for I’ve always been a regular IV hospice bleeder

Aestheticless to the bone, and you were just another veiled catholic sinner

I unraveled my stained ruby bandages to find you whimpering, lost inside

And I thought you’d come out finally from where you’re cowering and hide

But you shackled yourself deep within to the chambers of my aching heart

And it hurts me, and perhaps you as well, when I try to pull you and I apart

So I left you as is, thought this fragile proposition was nice and harmless

‘Til I fell for your sapphire eyes so hard that the ground became bottomless

You’re dragging me down to the bottom of the abyssal lake, under the high glen

I can swim quite well against currents, but your added burden made me sink

So I inhaled the frosty waters, and I drank what’s left of my precious oxygen

Sustaining the life of my frozen heart with my warm soul as I wade in the ink

But you swam away from me cruelly, and tore my beating heart into pieces

Shattered the last vestiges of my dignity, leaving me alone and helpless

No longer can I weep, ma cherie, for crystal tears don’t flow in the undertow

Can you still feel my numb skin when I already can’t, love?…It feels so cold.

I was wounded once but can heal the pain, yet now I’ll be bleeding out forever

As you prowl among the oaken pews, searching for another victim wherever

I used to be just a broken bleeder, and you used to be just some senseless sinner

But corpses can’t bleed out anymore, dearest, and the devil’s always a clear-cut winner.

~*~

It seems
I’m not everything you wanted me to be
In a dream on the way to the hospital I’ll slip away
What’s happening to me?
And as you drag the lake and pull me out
Do you feel the shame inside you?
And as my body lays before you now
Do you feel my skin? It’s cold.

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