Tag Archives: skin

come on, skinny love.

Skinny love, what happened here?
Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere
My, my, my, my, my, my, my
My sullen load is full
So slow on the split…

~*~

confidence in taut collarbones

and sinews of soft flesh sticking out

from these slowly-crumbling ribs

hoping they won’t notice the excess

counting macros and scale numbers

on the package of chewing gum

.

i promise you, the hunger’s not real

but the ugly bulk on your arms are

and on your legs and chest and neck

so suppress it all, ignore the growing pain

and perhaps all the consumed water

will revive this withering flower

.

brittle hair falling like twisted snow

too tired all the time from staying pretty

a dull glow from behind skinny eyes

hoping a skinny heart will keep me alive

tears dripping off like the clothes on my back

as the mirror sneers, it’s not enough

.

so i’ll just suck my skin in even tighter

and chew on empty air and constant disgust

never satisfied with my toothpick limbs

until i’m certain that my body could easily splinter

if i was given a hug, by the people who like me

because i finally look the way i forced myself to be.

~*~

Now all your love is wasted
Then who the hell was I?
Now I’m breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines
Who will love you? Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?

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Filed under Poetry

M a n i f e s t

i will never understand how you leave me like this.

this sorry state of mine, wretchedly piteous. i feel as though all of the pivotal sockets in my body are being violently wrenched away from their joints; every part of me is so stretched out to its very limits that if you were to do so much as to gently touch me, your hand would simply rip right through my gossamer skin.

yet this pain…it’s rather so elegant, so otherworldly, so magnanimously efficacious, that i simply can’t help but agonisingly writhe my way back to it again, despite knowing the inevitable torture that lies ahead. the sight of you. the sound of you. the merest infinitesimal sense of you—so frustratingly palpable that your conjured afterimage begins to bleed into the monochrome universe around me, until i could no longer see anyone nor anything anymore, but you.

you. you. you. you’re clinging onto me like confused kerosene to an open flame, ideas scheming ideations, screaming ideologies, spilling idle love.

you leave me like this, and yet you l e a v e .

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Filed under Prose

fine [print]

With me understand
These patterns
How can you live forced
Into parallel lines
All functioning under
The same mind?

~*~

i’m so tired

that my skin

is beginning

to drip off my

bones and pool

on the ground

and i think my

brain’s going bad

again, it’s curling

up in a corner and

it doesn’t want to

be found out now

.

the rushed high

felt fun, but it’s

quickly wearing off

and the usual numb

is back and oh, it’s

more numb than ever

i thought i was going

to be fine, and it’s staying

that way if i really tried—

but is that just another

one of my famous lies?

will life never feel alive?

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Filed under Poetry

weltschmerz

the wary thought

of october graves

in autumn sunrise

her name and yours

on an open letter for

the future young, as

old boats unfurl their

paper sails and the

breeze flows north

so often they whisper

.

“oh, i wish you had

never said a word”

their lacklustre ire

lesions seeping into

bandages and coffee

grounds and the very

last time you saw her

alive that day, of the

very last time you ever

felt alive, that fateful day

.

what more is left now?

statues still into monuments

and the gentlest reminder

of a violent decision that

carved another number

into your mausoleum, and

hers—it’s a strange way to

love, to unravel with her skin;

to twist, and to fade, and to

be the breath she always saves.

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Filed under Poetry

Florist

I want more flowers in my arms

But I’ve run out of space to plant

My handy trowel’s sharpened up

The sun in my eyes has gone dark

.

I will plant more flowers in my skin

I still have my endless secret garden

Asters, poinsettias, roses, carnations

Bloom as I wilt, until the next season.

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Filed under Poetry

Sensum Cacoëthes

I don’t want your body, but I hate to think about you with somebody else
Our love has gone cold, you’re intertwining your soul with somebody else
I’m looking through you while you’re looking through your phone
And then leaving with somebody else; no, I don’t want your body
But I’m picturing your body with somebody else…

~*~

Your flesh does not impress me

The way it arcs against your bones

Or how soft your face must feel

To be pressed feverishly to my own

I dare not dream of fathoms, nor

Embraces on long nights, lukewarm

My fingertips don’t itch to wander

Searching for quicksand to sink into

.

Show me the inside of your mind

Guide me past its strange labyrinths

What makes it yours, lull me with

Candid words you sing in your sleep

And let me know you beyond you

Beneath skin and blood and starlight

Constellating an ephemeral body

Let me hold you beyond lusted disillusion.

~*~

Get someone you love?
Get someone you need?
Fuck that, get money
I can’t give you my soul
‘Cause we’re never alone…

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Filed under Poetry

adi/s/pose

tightening flesh

willpower on a noose

chunks, spilling out

from folds of cloth

and utter self-shame

repulsiveness—

a circular shadow

fingers shoved down

screaming throats

holding on, and yet still

letting go—insides

curl in disgust

acid burning teeth

unable to fully digest

the ugliest truth

that’s all you will ever be

crushed bones and

muddled-up delusions

and bloated organs showing

all of your secrets;

no one will ever love

a colossal mess

not even yourself

especially not yourself—

swallowing cold hope

will only result in

a violent choke

but isn’t that what you

wanted all along?

skin turns blue, then red

aftertastes blending

in an open mouth…

what are you waiting for?

go on then—

eat your fucking heart out.

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Filed under Poetry

Insides

Keep the taste of suicide

Away from your filthy tongue

And wash it down with blowflies

Dancing by a loaded gun

‘Cause no one will ever save you

Alone by the edge of your seat

So just peel the lies out of your skin

And don’t let your brain bleed.

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Filed under Poetry

Ataraxia

You’re the anchor

In my wrists

The gleaming blade

In my pendulum

.

You’re the cavity

In my quiet smile

The heave of my

Vulnerable pericardium

.

You’re the torn skin

In my cold lips

The glint of light

In my glass shards

.

You’re the smudged dust

In my spectacles

The blurry red eyes

In my polaroid discards

.

You’re the voice

Inside my empty lungs

The sudden curses

Under my breath

.

You’re the comatose

In my hazeless dream

The last vaccine before

Infection leads to death.

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Filed under Poetry

The Devil’s Vision

Must I denounce myself as a monster while you refuse to see the one growing inside you?” ~Hannibal Lecter

~*~

He drips blood from the corners of his sightless eyes

And wipes it off silently, praying no one has seen his lies

But the devil drew smiles just as he drew out red water

Devour the mind and heart, teeth a grim rorschach splatter

“What do you see?” asks he, as the clock begins unraveling

He pretends the blindfold is tight enough to obscure sin

Enemies will flee as their friends are turned upside-down

The blunt instrument glints, a masquerade of gruesome frowns

And at the edge of the madness, the verge of suspended hell again

The devil sits with discretion, adjusting his veil of human skin

As he tends to the fear, crying in vain, losing their very humanity

And the devil is hungry, oh-so hungry—“do…you…see…?”

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Filed under Fandom Poetry, Poetry