Tag Archives: song thing???

a song about rain (but it doesn’t make any sense)

It’s not the heavy rain
That makes me feel things
But I never realised
Just how cold autumn is
Without an extra layer
Of sun, na na na na

But not from the sky
No, not from far above
Not from the yellow ball
That scorched our sense
Our summer skins loved

Rather, it’s the weather
That I feel from every smile
Every little highs and blushing sighs
Making dark nights worthwhile
From the coffee mugs
Still warm from last calls
Or the cookie in the cookie jar
Alone without a hand to fall

And snatch it up, a midnight treat
Oh, it’s never been this sweet

Wait…where was I?
The rain has stopped falling
Well, I suppose till next time
I’ll dream of hurricanes, my darling.

Happy first birthday to this absolutely shitty song that I wrote and recorded last year while lying flat-out dead in our dorm’s study hall (mmm, catch that sweeet natural big room reverb sonnn) somewhere in the middle of the night, severely sick from the flu and highly depressed and running on about 0.5 minutes of sleep as I constantly stall on an ARTS1 + HUM100 + COMM10 combo kill strike fucking essay due the next day or so. Also yeah it had just started raining during that time and it was pretty cosy hence the song theme—not that I don’t always write about rain half the time anyway but yk what I mean. And it’s somewhat rainy right now sometimes but not really fuck you climate change so I’ll count this as relevant-ish. Anyhow. Hope y’all a kick out of how stupidly weird I sound here. Like wth it’s only been a year since passed and yet I already sound so d i f f e r e n t how,,,

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D. I. D. I. T. M?

Did I do it to myself
I found a million ways to die
I never said that I was angry
Only did my best to lie

And now I ache like
I’m reversible
Turned inside out
To play it cool
They fell in love
The side of me
I found to be more cruel

Do you enjoy this?
The madness of the solace
Lock yourself again
Talk to the friends in your closet
Then again, maybe it’s the best
Maybe it’s the best to leave
Before they call it

Did I do it to myself?
Did they know just how it felt?

Yooo guess what,,, it’s time once more for some sleep-deprived 3 AM emotional meltdowns but in really shitty short song form!!! 😬😬😬

I honestly don’t even know what this is. It was just me being inexplicably sad, penning down some shallow garbage and sitting on the filthy kitchen floor downstairs (as not to disturb my sick mother and younger siblings who have school in a couple hours’ time) while I hiss at the noisy-ass rats to shut the hell up because they’re fucking up my recording. Also, I don’t know why I wrote something that requires me to have three pairs of lungs just to properly sing when I could barely go through the rap verse in TØP’s Chlorine without completely dying from asphyxiation. But I’ll throw myself off into the edge of outer space now I guess.

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Are You Nasty?

…because this is what a deadbeat emo burnout’s Friday mornings are wasted on, apparently.

Is the audio quality crackly and absolutely shitty??? Do I invariably fuck up a lot??? Does my awful voice sound like I just came out of a raging three-day flu that nearly sent me back to my deathbed again??? (that part is true, at least.) Is there a constant background noise of crowing roosters and crashing plates and crying children outside??? Do I look like I’m still even sentient enough to give a damn??? Well, yes, yes, yes, yes, and no. This is a one-take thing I pretty much sped through just to pretend that I’m still a human thing that isn’t uselessly floating through in an endless void, so. Lesson of the story: never leave me all alone in the house before breakfast ever again, please. For my own sake and yours. And also the neighbour’s. Especially the neighbours.

Alright cool, I’m probably gonna get some unwanted but inevitable clout for this. Gotta go hate myself now, ja.

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((It’s 3:51 AM and everything hurts and my entire brain is on fire and screaming at me profusely but I can’t for the life of me drop off to sleep, so here’s a stupid thing that I made which I’ll probably highly regret and delete in fit of utter shame later on when some semblance of rationality returns to my last two brain cells okay g’bye))

I can’t work around my mind this time
The silence chokes like stitches
Suffocating and unmending
Did I hurt you
The way you dug your nails into my chest
Every night, I thought it was for the best

You were always for the best
And you never knew
No, you’ll never know
And I was too slow
Didn’t think it would go

I’m losing grasp, you left to fade
I fucked it up, the mess I made
Please don’t be mad, I beg the stars
But you can’t hear me, you’re too far

Gone to save
Please save me

I guess I’ll overthink again
I guess I’ll overthink again
I guess I’ll overthink again
I guess I’ll just…

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