Tag Archives: soul

The Girl Who Dreams of Sun

She’s the smoke
She’s dancin’ fancy pirouettes
Swan diving off of the deep end
Of my tragic cigarette
She’s steam
Laughing on the windowpanes
The never-ending swaying haze
Oh, that ever smiling maze

~*~

I lost the light

Under my pillow

Where I hide candy

And all my sorrows

I believed that wishes

Will find their way home

Despite the planets

And these broken bones

Just kiss my reveries

Paint me another song

And if field flowers bend

I shall dance along

My peach butterfly skirt

Waves for the wind

Calm necklace of carnation

Grazes my tender skin

So fly with me, my angel

Don’t wake me now

I’m talking in my sleep

Silk curtains flutter as I bow

Innocence and foxes

Waltzing under a moon

Where shadows don’t exist

And stars nurture noon

The dreams I stole for you

In nights of silver sky

Infinity takes slow breaths

And we shall never die

I lost my light again

Under my soft pillow

But I’m too tired from dreaming

I’ll look for it tomorrow.

~*~

And oh, how the piano knows
The piano knows something
I don’t know…

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metal & skin (xiv.)

under the darkness

the cycle proceeds

of a mercury teeth

and a soul in need

.

under the darkness

the ritual proceeds

with a lethal gleam

and a heart to bleed.

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Eternal Paradise and Heaven Beyond the Veil

“I’m not meant for this world, I just don’t see the point…don’t think about it, don’t overthink about it.”

~*~

Beyond everything else I ever learned

As the blanketed flames writhed and burned

A heart and a home under their siege

Must they conjure nightmares, my liege?

.

Glass eyes shattering with bated breaths

Scent of redolent perfume and elegant regrets

Listen to the rain falling in lethal shards

This parade was neverending from the start

.

Ghosts pulled away from their resting place

Labyrinths and dead ends, I’m trapped in a maze

My hands are cold and my skin is lifeless

For every transgression I have yet to confess

.

So undress my lungs, uncover my secrets

Your bare naked spine won’t ever try to forget

Terror and beauty’s ripped apart from the pain

Another silver ring tarnished to remain

.

My intentions were obtuse and reasons perpendicular

I never thought we would ever come this far

And you stalled the light of your car headlights

To prepare the blind for the eternal nights

.

Drag me behind your chain as I laugh and you miss

My broken bones dangling over an ocean abyss

For all the friends we fought for and ones we gave up

A bleeding battle wound that has yet to stop

.

Cry as you destroy my remaining insanity

Save yourself and I’ll hold myself back, maybe

I say it’s time to call it quits and just run

There’s an ulterior motivation behind this smoking gun

.

Abandoned worlds colliding with the stars I left

And how dare your sempiternal soul for fracturing itself

A perfect thing to ruin as it sucks the colour

I’m divine yet not fine, for this cancer lasts forever

.

Signals of lust sign under jagged-edged rocks

Rage beneath the silken sheets ceasing the noisy clocks

I’m stained and trained to live alone, bother me not

On my arm, your lipstick leaves a bruised spot

.

Count the million train tracks we walked to find another horizon

You stole my sight as I blinked once, so please kill my vision

We’ll learn to die alone darling, separated in our own company

And we will dream of the paradise that a hurt heaven won’t provide me.

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it’s singing to me

for the songs

that you sing

that get stuck

badly within

to your voice

that’s higher

painting each

pastel colour

i’m scared of

such changes

of cliché and

lower ranges

but this soul

can’t ever lie

and a feeling

refuses to die

for the songs

that you sing

i find myself

soft humming

to your voice

striking deep

is the heart i

cannot keep.

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Come on Holly, Put the Gun Down for Me

Love me as you lay
Dizzy and falling, y
our legs dangling
Accidents happen, they happen to me
Try to forget the beginning and end…
Forget the world!
Without removing t
he glass from your lips!

~*~

Make me another promise

About the seven sins I spilled

All over your faded grave

And the starry innocence I killed

I know I haven’t been the best

But I did it when you were at your worst

Holly, you’re making me choke

I’m steering off my turnpike course

Don’t let me go away now

When I’m about to ask you how

Everything under the roses

Makes me think in bloodred guesses

This rage is highly contagious

It’s severing my every vein quite vicious

The candle lights mask your tears

Only your sunny friends never hear

Holly, you’re killing me here

Your ambitions are craving my envy

Dysthymia’s slipping on your lips

Like cold Novocain and an apology

But don’t call me then hang yourself

Trying to reach for the dollar on the moon

Playing hooky’s bad for your health

We’ll grow up, but not too soon

These fingertips left marks on my throat

With every white lie that you spoke

Holly, I still love the way you murder me

I’ll offer you my doubts and maybe’s

But life can be a cruel farce to envision

I’ll keep the gun from my mission

Your necklace of bullets complimentary

To the blood falling on my gurney

You won the fight Holly, and no pet names

Will taint your rallying soul anymore

And I spent all of my what-ifs and initial fame

Simply trying to attempt to keep score

I have got nothing else left to give but my never

‘Cause I thought these two hearts called a truce

Now tell me Holly, when you say that it’s all over

I understand, but what have you got to lose?

~*~

Doll up and sleepwalk
Until we have some teeth marks
Narcotic sweet talk
Until we have some teeth marks…
(This whole place is gonna burn!)

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Will You Sleep Tonight?

(I.) Head in the Clouds

.

Cloud-stained blankets

A late-night house call

I’ll dream for you again

Dear, if I wake up at all

.

Nightmares dripping away

Under the bed, I will sweep

Dust and decayed reminisce

That was sealed under keep

.

I adore you quite senselessly

Every vein in my body fights

Am I just a distant memory

Or will you sleep tonight?

.

(II.) Eyes the Size of the Moon

.

You’re perfect like an asylum

Colourful ultraviolet madness

Nick in your smile, silver ring

Oh you’re an immaculate mess

.

With perfection of impossibility

You defy definition and gravity

A voice like coffee and caramel

Halo heaven holds my lost angel

.

I keep candy floss under my pillow

Like a firefly our fading bones ignite

(Sleep) Am I just a distant memory

(No more) Or will you sleep tonight?

.

(III.) Hearts Swinging on Empty Stars

.

Witness the death of a floral lust

Glittering teeth, arrogant sun rust

You withheld cold phantom glow

Swallowing crystal, raining snow

.

Hispanic hearts and a charm of gold

The stars are falling, so we were told

But don’t believe in truths and reality

Sleep me away, come repose with me

.

Darling, break every fracture in my body

And I’ll reach and turn off the moonlight

(Sleep) Am I just another distant memory

(No more) Or will you finally sleep tonight?

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Angels Don’t Exist in Fairy Tales

Hear the sound
The angels come screaming
Down your voice
I hear you’ve been bleeding
Make your choice
They say you’ve been pleading
Someone save us!

~*~

I don’t care about the midnight angels

The static voices ring in my head every night

Another apology simply went to hell

Lithe like a burning sapphire-encrusted kite

.

I lost my way behind old rusted doors

I’m dancing on nails scattered all over the floor

Tradition keeps the pages from yellowing

But the impulsive tongues kept on poisoning

.

So black out, resay it, and fucking fall

Gut and glory and guns and games, damn it all

Kill the pendulum swinging in your deadly heart

Sweet like confectionary, yet as hard as tart

.

Shallow pockets drop tarnished spare change

For obedient me to follow the witch’s trail

Bullets I ate like stale bread crumbs mage

Shove me under the oven, punishment to entail

.

Bury me in black and blue gruesome

The kingdom is damned for princesses long gone

I’m already dead, the villains have won

But this story never ends, the twist never comes

.

So stay away from my concentration

Keep your clenched fists away from the violence

Steer clear of my bones’ dissolution

Childish fracture garnered from decadence

.

There’s no one to save you from screaming

Another gingerbread wall collapses off

Again we’ll bleed in fairy lights twinkling

What’s this tall fable you’ve been speaking of?

.

So don’t defy my sorry, we’ll stake our clouds long

Flurry of destructive wings writing down halo songs

Now I don’t give a damn about the daylight angels

My soul’s running thin on faith, and heaven’s just cruel.

~*~

Heaven help us now
Come crashing down
We’ll hear the sound
As you’re falling down…

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She Sings Nightmares to the Ocean Waves

Someday I’ll drive, close both my eyes
We’ll swim in circles in the blue lights
And I just want to fade away into the sky under the sea
A million kisses underwater as we walk into the ocean…

~*~

Drive me to the edge

You know I’ll let myself fall

Without any ado or fail

I’m caught up in your gale

Choking on the crumbled stars

Reaching for your guitar

As you paint musical notes

Pastel on my bleached wishbones

To keep my stiff blue nerves

From aching for home

.

This rain won’t stop anytime

A deadly deluge of blood

My lacerated lungs aren’t fine

And my cut wrists are handcuffed

To the screaming moon

I’m sorry I can’t dream for you

The sunset’s far too soon

I have to pay for my wasted crimes

I can’t gnaw on diamond bars

But I swear, I swear I’ll try

.

You say you’re just an animal

With an abyss for eyes

But you look goddamn beautiful

Hiding under my bed tonight

I’m just a pretty monster

Hell, why would I let you go?

I need your beauty to breathe

If you wanted to sink, just say so

I won’t let the air bubbles

Escape my lavender tinged mouth

I’ll twist my knotted fingers

And drift in your undertow south

.

Those ocean flesh tone lips

Look liquid against the lightning

Cold heats aquatic reveries

As we find ourselves ironic smiling

About an eternity of nothing

But somehow under the waves

I’m dying of dehydration

Parched, thirsting only for your

Most frigid of serotonin

I know water will only burn me

Like concoctions of sulphur and sin

.

I’m drowning in my nightmares

Singing of your sweet victory

And splashing your starry sunflowers

From lost days of poignant isolation

In a neverland where I’m happy

So dear, when you shift under the

Blankets and begin to slow

Your breathing, please save it

All for the whispering feather pillow

And bury your quiet laugh

In the silver locks of my tangled hair

Shhhhhhhh…don’t wake me up.

~*~

Do you see me at all under the tall waves?
Do you see me at all?

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Wild One

It’s been a year, kid.

I don’t have to constantly check up on you anymore, and be paranoid whether you are still breathing as you slumber, unknowing, naive, innocence in its most delicate form. I can only count your heartbeats, slow and steadily warm, whispering reassurances to me, making me believe still in a transient hope on a world so lost and pitifully dark. All the nights I’ve had to give up, interrupted sleep I’ve had to bide my tired mind by, the erstwhile activities and further indulgences I’ve had to forego to help in taking care of you, the stress, the weeping, the spewed bodily fluids, the horrid diapers, the sacrifices ventured and risks undertaken, everything and nothing all at once…I suppose it was all worth it in the end.

You’re still here, after all, breathing, laughing, crying. Living. One year in. It’s crazy to think just how much has changed, how everything has been elicited by insignificance, how everything slows down yet speeds up at the same time, nerves racing clockwork ticks, how much has changed, how far you have grown. It only feels like a trembling fingertip away when you were a newborn infant delivered from the hospital, and, lying there, ensconced in white silken sheets and resting with umber eyes wide shut, I saw a part of the universe that was apt with the stars in the sky. I basked in the warmth of someone who doesn’t have to be arrogant and jaded like the rest of the heartless horizons, a soul, that was a diamond moon, uncarved, pristine, an enigma. An incandescent light that catches the sparkle in every worthwhile heart. I left the room dazed that day, with ink all over my hands, holding a crumpled piece of paper, unsure of my own senses, pensive and ocean-deep.

Admittedly, I’m not the best babysitter. Sometimes I’m clumsy and end up panicking amid bloodstains and scarlet bumps. Sometimes I get vexed and irritated by your inability to act and your constant incessant shrieking, for heaven knows what reason. Sometimes I snap at you for your tantrums and for the things I know are not under your control. Most of the time I don’t know what the hell I’m even doing when I hold you. I know I’m a child-hating misanthrope that doesn’t take any shit from any other snot-nosed bratty brat that dare crosses my path, and I should be a choking hazard, kept fifty miles away from any person under 5 years old. But you are the exception.

Your shrieking laughter trumps all the crying and wailing I’ve endured from you. Your adorable cooing and chubby tottering alike, the fact that I was there for your initial steps, your first word (“Wa-ta.”), the numerous milestones that can’t be replaced by a million million-dollar paintings. The jubilance and uplift your cloudy childish curiosity banishes my demons temporarily and ties my emotions to a raspberry red balloon, sends me shimmering against your diamond moon, providing me an ephemeral glow, enough to get me though the day. You make me this incredibly maudlin and histrionic, hell, not everyone has the ability to do such a thing. And yes, I may have lost my room when you arrived, true enough, but I found a home in you.

To my sister’s chubby little child, stay wild and have fun, not only in your jungle themed party (which somehow has a clown?), but in this jungle of a life as well. True enough that your untainted whims may not last forever, but the memories remain like butterflies in my tongue, fluttering, tinting my lips with chromatic stained glass artworks, tasting of fairy dust and sweet sugary candy and an indistinguishable distinct bitter undertone, a hueful transfer with every cuddle and pinch and peck. You’ve got no reason to be sad, you need no reason to be happy, which is why you’re smiling all the time. You’ve got many people who love you unconditionally, so beat your chest and swing on the vines, you’ve got a lot to roar about. Don’t grow up too soon now. You deserve that much, at least.

Happy birthday, Gianni-ya.

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