Tag Archives: speak

Persecution Circus

Is it because I understand you, dear,

That our tongues refuse to speak?

Between faux light and serpentine

I dwell in which you peruse to seek

Whilst you accost my sideshow heart

Only five cents for an ungallant peep

Let strange faces gawk and sneer away

And if I’m unlucky, I might feel a pinch

.

Is it because I understand you, dear,

That we both lie to save our graces?

We befall into patterns labyrinthine

And spend centuries in mirrored mazes

Whilst every breath accused our throats

Of being crude vaudeville traitors

But the carousel shall spin and spin

As we destroy our own creators.

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Rumours on Red Tapes

I do not know why I would go
In front of you and hide my soul
‘Cause you’re the only one who knows it
Yeah, you’re the only one who knows it
And I will hide behind my pride
Don’t know why I think I could lie
‘Cause there’s a screen on my chest…

~*~

Call it a conversation, or another bad decision

Talk is cheap, but you’re costing me more than you’re worth

The casualties counted, words set to ignition

But I’ll salvage what I can and I’ll try to keep my insults curt

.

You’re searching for a purpose, I’m looking for a reason

Differences aside, you can’t stay clever if you’re wrong

Listen carefully now, don’t make me repeat myself twice

Because I don’t really want you to misunderstand my lies

.

Pay attention, this can’t go on, go find another friend to ruin

With your pitiful convictions—or better yet, simply stay alone

Sober is your middle name, but your vision keeps on spinning

Ignorance can’t be your bliss if all you ever do is mumble and groan

.

While I endure the problems, getting addicted to gnashing teeth

For there’s comfort in this car crash, fracturing every fucking bone

I held your hand like you asked, you went ahead and twisted my wrist

But you can’t complain forever, and I know that I should have known

.

That this is not a conversation, just another bad decision

You speak sweetly with silver linings—but fuck that, I need gold

Casualties buried now, falling out of spellbound sedation

But I’ll walk away while I still can, and you can choke on what you’re told.

~*~

We’re broken people, oh
I’m standing in front of you
I’m standing in front of you
I’m trying to be so cool
Everything together
Trying to be so cool…

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Plastic Brains

The feigned humanity

That plastic lips fabricate

Speaking of sincerity

As the scarlet inside fades

.

How can mechanical eyes

Speak of soul, speak of pain?

How can a monochrome vein

Bleed out in sunshine and rain?

.

Perhaps hands have to be clever

Perhaps they just fool themselves

But just how could a plastic mind

Speak about the truth of oneself?

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Figments

She’s a taciturn ghost

At the back of the room

Speaking in silver poetry

And in dead languages

But no one could hear her

.

She’s a mere phantom

In everyone’s faded mind

Translucent, except for

The scarlet ribbons

Threaded through her veins

.

You can only see her

At the very corner of your eyes

And if you ever briefly turn

Your head to try to find her…

S h e  w a s  n e v e r   t h e r e

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anatomical dissection: brain

what hurts more,

remembering to forget

or forgetting to remember?

.

you count all the wins

and all the pyrrhic losses

that take your victories under

.

what hurts more,

the scars on your shoulders

or the scars inside your mind?

.

invisible to the naked eye

but a succumbing force that

makes you lose what you’ll find

.

what hurts more,

staying for the sake of leaving

or living for the sake of staying?

.

lock the pain up in your room

and hope this house burns down

with you still trapped inside, crying

.

what hurts more,

all the words that they said

or the words you never spoke?

.

sticks and stones don’t break bones

but splints and cement puts them back

quietly mending what you always broke

.

what hurts more,

knowing too much of everything

or drowning in your own ignorance?

.

scourge for knowledge, miss for bliss

drain the oceans and fill up the abyss

self-hatred fighting your self-defiance

.

what hurts more,

this cold logical ideology

or the lying sentimental truth?

.

it’s a constant push and pull

of devastating dreams and riled reality

inspiring like the rabbit inspires the wolf

.

what hurts more,

overthinking things again

or not thinking about it at all?

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frostbites

My head is stripped just like a screw
That’s been tightened too many times
When I think of you, when I think of you
I will shield you from the waves if they find you
I will protect you, I will protect you
Just tell me, tell me, tell me I
I am the only one even if it’s not true…

~*~

love,

my mouth

is cold

from speaking

about these

sweet curses

in futile

hopes that you

will listen

to them; or to me.

there’s been

a million

dead voices

before me, of

poets and

troubadours

and musicians

all of them

so prestigious

and all hopelessly

asking for your

heart on a

silver platter.

for they have had

a taste, and now

they want

more, and they

want it all,

and i am one

of them.

so come morning

take me in,

hold me tight

until i die, and give

my ghost

to the grey stars

colliding with

the lacerated horizon.

this distance just

makes me

tormented and

miasmatic, but it’s

for the sake

of your taciturn

sunlight, and

i’m already scorched.

for you’re so

beguiling, love…

won’t you

make me feel

warm?

~*~

I’m here at the beginning of the end
Oh, the end of infinity with you
I’m done with having dreams
The thing that I believe
Oh, you drain all the fear from me…

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Worthless Words from a Worthless Wreck

You’re too kind to me, you know that?

I don’t deserve absolution, or warm comfort, or reassuring words, or a steady shoulder to lean on when I cry. I deserve atonement, a punch in the face, a cold scream to strengthen up, I need tough love and tougher hate, because I’m far too spineless for my own good and I shouldn’t be stagnantly melting and caving in to that unwieldy trait anyway.

Do you like hearing about my problems? I don’t honestly believe that. Even I’m so sick of listening to the same old shit that I speak over and over again. Whining about problems so trite and unreasonable, even the purest of angels will certainly hate me for it. Oh, I’m sad again. Big fucking deal, so are a million other people out there, but do you see them complaining? No, so I should just suck it up and shut up about it already.

But I can’t, and I don’t. And you unknowingly get caught up in the middle of this ugly mess.

Just like any other rational person out there, you must think I’m rather obnoxious. Petty. Disgustingly needy. I know that’s not your nature, but still, I understand that, though. On the contrary, I understand it more than anyone else ever will. I know I push everyone’s patience to their breaking limits. I hurt and I hurt, and I’ve hurt other people, and I’ve hurt you, and I’m not worth my time or space, and neither should I be yours.

I’m sorry, but the truth is the truth, no matter how much it makes all the repressing lies in my fucked-up brain seethe indignantly. I’m always so pathetically selfish, but I sincerely never wanted this for you. You’re a decent soul with the best intentions and better people to spend your life on. I’m a bad person. I’m a bad friend. I’m always going bad. So why, just why are you being so good to me?

You’re too kind to me, you know that?

That’s being too cruel to yourself.

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mental block. (9)

***

your mind

thinks of

e f f l o r e s c e n c e

but your words

speak of

r a d i a t i o n.

***

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write and wrong

i’m a liar

and a faker

and i just can’t

say it straight

hide behind

this wall of words

and you can’t

read me so you

would hate

how quite vexing

i am, when i

think i speak so

honestly profound

and i preach

unholy gospels

like another

nameless sound

make a story

with a soft landing

like that would

help the blow

but all it does is

pretend i’m not

dying, that heaven’s

the place to go

i’m a liar

and a faker

i don’t know how

to be sincere

and i wish i could

change myself

but i blurred the

lines too much

to return into clear.

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v.) sunset cinema.

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