Tag Archives: stories

Febfair {Diliman}

PicsArt_02-18-09.12.53

I woke up this morning

with blisters on my tired arms

and wilted grass blades and mud stains

stuck all over my filthy trousers

my throat dry, red eyes throbbing,

a giant pandemonium of a headache

swelling triumphantly in my brain

so I staggered to the bathroom

where the mirror replayed memories

of us screaming elatedly on dizzying rides,

walking about blinded by neon lights,

picking out cheap food from every

stall that we chanced to pass by,

taking blurry photographs with the widest

grins plastered on our sweaty faces,

telling cheeky stories against the noise

of both rock concerts and chattering crowds,

and secretly stalking our smitten friend

around like a bunch of nosy, giggling idiots—

and finally half-drunkenly weaving across

dark street ends after midnight (though we didn’t

have a single drop of alcohol in our systems)

stars barely visible, shoulders interlocked

the whole way back, middle fingers up

to your late night curfew, and we hugged it

out goodbye, silently wishing under our breaths

that the other one wouldn’t leave just yet…

jolted back to the present, I stared at my

trainwreck of a face and decorated party tattoos

and decided, with a wistful smile,

that I have never felt this good.

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Hangover

The dawn is rose-coloured

Deceptively pretty

Telling nothing of the stories

Of two empty bodies

.

Last night was lavender-bruised

A sighing aftermath

Telling of everything all at once

And losing out to wrath.

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…and skyward, to come home.

save my

sensibility

the wrongness

of being right,

ludicrous—

mothballs taper

off to fixtures

on the wall;

your portraits

five. nine. nine.

not knowing

the date and place

but persisting to

hitch a hearse

for the winners

and you sleep

and you slept…

cheek to the gutters

like rainwater and

dry ice melting

but the puddles are

still far too cold

to be touched

with bare hands

.

your malevolence

my destiny

a love, chased

down with laudanum

and bitter spirits

starving for fire

not mine, no—

but angels won’t

exist just to see us

fall away and die,

and if i do so

let it be beside you

and these memories

of springtime

and soft sadness

discoloured fingernails

pointing to the sun

sending wishes

holding on tightly

never there?

never where—

not the awful thought

of losing you out

to another bore

.

when i’ve got

good stories to tell

and a bad heart

to prove innocent

hear me out, please

your music speaks

in earthquakes

and perfect fifths

though abstract

the ends may seem

myopic gaze

did you lose sight?

so save my sorry

humanity and

your flesh betwixt

mine again

for countdowns

don’t matter if

time doesn’t

make amends, when

you’ll be just fine

i know—but then

what am i?

what am i now?

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dead poets

i have a love

for stories

so intricate

and tall tales

so profound

but it’s the

simpleminded

souls with no

spiteful lies

that get their

words around.

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Back To The Red Tapes

You are a handful of roses
Thorns and a cheap bouquet
True, I’m a walking disaster
They told you to stay away
Seems like I’m making
A deal with the devil…

~*~

I remember when we loathed each other

And what we wouldn’t do to one up and over

Subtle poison in each vindictive word and verse

Poised to hit the most vital organs and curse

.

We smeared the walls with our cold fresh blood

Leaving basilisk messages for another pitying god

And undertones of candy-coated punches in stitch

In plates of ‘hope you die, you conniving little bitch’

.

But sometimes the relapse was felt in compassion

A confusion of collisions, casting the condensation

I didn’t know if it was coincidence, or I was insane

But the universe parked parallel, changed the game

.

Passing the halls with the same songs in our mouths

Composing about the same things that gave us doubt

Secretly racing the other one for covert little challenges

And trying to push at each other’s buttons and nuisances

.

It was a mess, and the bleak battleground ain’t so pretty

But the smoke cleared up and the aftermath forgot me

Where the sun was aglow and my coffee tasted less bitter

And tears only came in the form of erupted endeavours

.

Now I read the past stories and I want to laugh out loud

Enough to disturb the anxiety that’s keeping my head out

The snide smirks, the loose lies, the entertaining electricity

Who knows what’s meant for you and what’s meant for me

.

After the sheer mayhem that came after each round of drinks

After every conversation held and confessions begging not to think

After all the chaos caused and the devastation left in its wake

It’s a lot easier to admit I’ll miss it—I’d listen again for a rewinded take.

~*~

‘Cause I feel like a bad joke
Walk the tight rope to hold onto you
Was it real? Or a love scene
From a bad dream? I don’t think
I can forget about it…

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Neurotic

Sadness is sadness

Until it’s reversed

Frowns turn to madness

And smiles perverse

.

Writing is writing

Until a mind notices

Words turn to endings

And stories to sense.

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i know something you don’t know

Hold on, don’t look back
You know we’re better, we’re better than that
Lost and thrown away
You know we’re better, we’re better than that
We are the strays…

~*~

lips twisted in

orange sour and

bitter secrets,

indulging unseemly

stories under the

brink of clearwater stars

sweet as frosting and

dripping in sap as

caramel words,

these strange stories

no one would

dare to listen to.

the moon might not

come out tonight,

but tongues open fire

and in that

naked horizon

of calming darkness—

everything else

comes to light.

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Silent Films

For all I know, the best is over
And the worst is yet to come
Is it enough? To keep on hoping
When the rest have given up?
And they go…

~*~

Set the tone to soft sepia and watch me come to life

Like my favourite vintage movies, but silence is optional

I hate to mouth the words but I know that I’m right

And it’s better than to face the music composed in your journal

What you see is what you get, but it’s more than it seems

Amid skylines and downtown fiction, stories of nameless streetcars

I’m waiting under an umbrella, seeing neon signs in rainy grey

Until your clicking red heels arrive to light the pavement up

For the film is never complete without a dazzling star.

~*~

I hate to say I told you so
But they love to say they told me
(Throw me into the fire
Throw me in, pull me out again…)

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Talk It Out

You got two black eyes from loving too hard
And a black car that matches your blackest soul
I wouldn’t change you, oh, oh
Wouldn’t ever try to make you leave, no…

~*~

You don’t need my puerile mouth to bleed

So delete me from your life and never look back

I’m just another all-assuming, time-consuming need

Ad-libbing in your face like bum bum, sad fuck

And I get it, I swear to hell, I really do get it

You don’t deserve qualms, and I don’t deserve shit

Making stories, faking memories, did that really happen?

I would try to remember, but I wasn’t there then

So go on and hold the sharp grudge against my throat

But please wait your turn to capsize the sinking boat

Backlash chaos, laughing in mania and apology

Liquid sarcasm tastes as sweet as spoiled royal milk tea

You’ll be the judge bringing the gavel down my head

I’ll be the death sentence man winking once before I’m dead

But guess I don’t need your putrid mouth to bleed

And you’re just another time-assuming, all-consuming greed

Let’s explode one more time and crash in wasted gasoline

Before I delete you from my life and never look back from the murder scene.

~*~

The high rise lights read your rights
And a downtown storm with aries rising
Couldn’t change you, oh, oh
Couldn’t ever try to make you see, no…

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We March To The Beat Of A Different Drum

Listen honey, I’m a lot like you
Don’t trip, let us show you what to do
You say hey, let’s cheers to us
We’re gonna be victorious
Don’t matter what they say…
~*~

Hey, let’s cheers to us

Another year of crazy fuss

Madness, stories, and reminiscing

The same beat our hearts are singing

Some connections may be hazy

And the threads may be entangled badly

But I know I’ll always find my way

Back to what we have built in solidarity

You only live once, the anthem we live under

As we lose our sane to the fun and misadventures

Here’s cheers to another year, and to the next

May we create more memories that we don’t take for granted.

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