Tag Archives: strangers

Swallowing Diamonds: Does It Hurt?

Don’t even know if you left a note
Should we blame the Dekapote? Or vilify the Abilify?
You were trying to find your vanilla sky
Then you unravel, facedown on rock bottom
Fucking chewing gravel, because
A human’s so fragile, what can you do?

~*~

Got another issue

Pressing like a migraine

And all the healthy “bless you’s”

Can’t repair, can’t compare

To the amount of extraordinary pain

That’s felt with every angry stare

.

So I take a pistol that’s pink on one end

And swallow it whole ‘cause my life depends

On the gunpowder chemicals

Checking up on my broken physicals

Recycling my blood through and through

10 out of 10 doctors recommend that it’s true

.

They all thought I was blissful

‘Cause they never wanna hear about

The things that are fucking awful

Trained by clinical trials, trained by pharmaceuticals

So I’m still saying “I don’t need your help!”

As I choke on my fucking gavel

.

I’ve got a teaspoon of anxiety for my head

And a glass of borderline thoughts before I go to bed

As my body fights every request and rejects my skin

The strangers may praise me, but I will never win

Even if I had all the money in the world to sell out what I love

Would that change the happiness I lack in my blood?

.

‘Cause everyone’s a critic

And a cynic and they all “get it”

When they’re living in glowing cities

With their missus, acting clever

With their 9-5 IQ’s and 401k GPA endeavours

Feeling guilty their children didn’t get their Nerf Guns

.

But monsters don’t discriminate, it’s all fair game

No blame on no names, every label is the same

You could be sitting in gold and still don’t want to get old

You could be in a prison cell and don’t do what you’re told

Or you could be like me, contemplating a straitjacket tee

On my way out to an existence that doesn’t cope out too badly

.

So maybe there are issues that cannot be fixed with tissues

Or underhanded “you’re fine’s” or endless rounds of “bless you’s”

But it doesn’t hurt to compare and it doesn’t hurt to repair

The amount of extraordinary pain that no fake adrenaline stain

Nor serotonin on our hair, taken with a beggar’s angry stares

I’m only human like you and them after all, would it hurt me to care?

~*~

They press our teardrops into diamonds
They change our sorrows into gold
They’re gonna turn our blood to rubies
We just need someone we can hold…

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Mister Misery

I stare at the world and see it as a miserable smile;

The kind that leaves taciturn strangers wondering whether it was genuine at all.

.

My eyes feel numb and sore from watching everything unfold like a labyrinth

But no matter how hard I try, I can’t close my eyes and dream again.

.

So I grasp at the lying nightmares constricting my throat and hope

That this time, I won’t have to choke on the truth anymore—

.

But the world’s still full of strangers with miserable smiles and numb eyes

Still wondering. Still awake. Still unable to breathe.

.

And I am one of them.

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sidewards strangers

and i crave your humanity

bleeding smile for the normalcy

hair blushing red with insanity

blue skin set to sovereignty

.

and i crave this humanity

acting like a murderous society

let me enter your uncertainty

and let my eyes see clarity.

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Cosmic Calamities

Moving on down my street
I see people I won’t ever meet
Think of her, take a breath
Feel the beat in the rhythm of my steps
And sometimes it’s a sad song…

~*~

GRADIENT

Get out of my head

And make your home in my stars

I won’t mind at all.

~*~

EBONY

Black holes and kisses

Hurricanes rest in our bed

Secrets for the moon.

~*~

OPALESCENT

Sunshine and smoke fog

You crawl past astral scorpions

Dance lyres in cold fires.

~*~

FACSIMILES

I’m made of strangers

And andromeda’s starlight

And constellations.

~*~

FADED

Sweet blue gravity

Am I still your reverie

Or did you let go?

~*~

Make everyday worth all of the pain
That I have gone through
And mama I’ve been cryin’
‘Cause things ain’t how they used to be
She said “the battle’s almost won
And we’re only several miles from the sun.”

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a persistence of forgotten memory

i am clothed

in nightmares

subliminal—

sympathy;

cruel, mocking

resilience inching

in the undertows

of a fervent

disguise

their smiles fall

into chipped sneers

as violet eyes

flash with

covetous envy

but the crimson lips

on my thighs do

nothing but gape

without teeth.

bleeding petals

slip away to

reveal the ugly

creature underneath,

melancholy human

weeping for their

own insolence

grieving what they

do not have, and

asking for ire faith

in blind places,

and yet again

i find myself dear

in the company

of the strangers

in my head,

and the demons

in my bed, clawing

with terror, writhing

with pleasure, altogether

tearing me apart.

i am clothed in

my own

nightmares–

and yet my soul:

fully bared and

torn open

apart for everyone,

exposed and

insulted and reviled…

it still feels rather

n a k e d .

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skulls are thicker than water

but i don’t need

some obnoxious

excrescences to

be my so-called

“dearest family”

for strangers have

been benignant and

have done so much

more to rescue me.

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Ponderings and Preludes

~*~

ON MONSTERS

Roared and rampaged

With sharp claws they yield

Monsters can’t be caged

But they could be killed.

~*~

ON IMPERFECTION

You’re not perfection

That may as well be

But know that I love you

Despite every folly.

~*~

ON STRANGERS

Strangers are scary

You don’t know their thoughts inside

But friends horrify me greatly

Because they know what I hide.

~*~

ON SILENCE

Silence in the library

Words spoken in ebony ink

The only things ever so noisy

Are imaginations that think.

~*~

ON FEELINGS

You fuel my adrenaline

Every intersection I pass

Til I get stranded somewhere unseen

Because I ran out of gas.

~*~

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