Tag Archives: stuck

16 – a quick lesson in pop-punk

twist my ankles

and scrape my skin

i’m ready to embrace

rough concrete again

.

flip this dusty cap

and taste the frigid wind

the new warning grows

dizzy, i’m spinning

.

sneakers all messed

jeans ripped in stride

that beaten-up plaid

and penny board glide

.

the night’s fast falling

and my youth is fucked

so what’s one more ride?

this town’s got me stuck.

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delays

the heat is addling

the corners of my eyes

bleeding with tears

that i so madly despise

.

crowds so dense

they all suffocate

as footsteps go on

of weary and late

.

i take a breath

but i can find none

fun was all fun

but now it’s all done

.

i’m stuck and bored

i don’t know why i try

“home sweet home”

has never been such a lie.

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trapped in my headcase

i’m stuck

all alone

with my mind

to torture me

to prod needles

behind my eyelids

and call me a

worthless failure

a fucking loser

and every other

insult that i’ve

heard a million times

before already.

i want to jump off

the window of

this speeding bus

and run away

from my friends,

from my family,

from everything

and everyone

that i ever failed—

including myself…

but i just can’t.

so instead of that,

i’m stuck here

with my cruel mind

playing tricks on

my worthless self,

gritting my teeth and

telling me lies

as i’m just silently

screaming and

hating myself because

i believe it’s all

fucking true.

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Broadcasting Live From The Seatbelt

Come one, come all, you’re just in time
To witness my first breakdown
‘Cause there’s a mile gone
For every minute passed
When I’m stuck in this town…

~*~

For every minute I count at the tip of my jaded palm

Makes me believe that I can actually give a damn

Third time’s the charm, but the thirtieth’s just tiring

I’ll save my breath for the holidays I won’t be taking

.

Change the radio station when nothing good’s ever on

Witness as I crash my car high on the beat of a breakdown

Just to make the news, just ‘cause I’m fucking bored

At least something exciting happened in this deadbeat town

.

But I don’t need a doctor, and I don’t need more pills

I’m not crazy, just feeling sorry that I don’t know what to feel

Passed out from the traffic fumes, stuck in my head for hours

Wishing I had better hair, wishing I had superpowers

.

And I’m not coming clean, what else is the reason now?

Dreams don’t come for free, especially not in this late hour

My stereo’s playing the greatest hits, I’m so sick of hearing it

I’d drink beer and smoke a drag, but I don’t know when to quit

.

For every second and mile that I waste, wasted off these foolish promises

Like my ragged backseat holster and stained carpet, my existence is a mess

And this just in, the latest breaking news is that I’m already fucking breaking

But I’ll step on the brakes until it stops, until I don’t know which road I’m taking.

~*~

So go on and lock me up, you better throw away that key
Before I find out where you broadcast from
Because your playlist is killing me
I’ll change that station, light it up like the 4th of July
It’s me, I’m caller fifteen, time to play my last request…

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Resignation

This pressure’s got me letting go
If I’m wrong, will I still carry on
And end up where I belong?
I’ve never felt this way before…

~*~

They carry over to the side, and pain is just a thought

Effervescing behind my skin, tearing me apart, I’m not

Wearing my fingers thin praying for an endless day

I’m out here on my own, as my mouth is set to decay

Never felt this far from home, no I can’t move myself

Stuck inside a dream, the only way to wake up is death

And when the final wave hits like crashing tears in my body

One last time to scream before the tribulations overcome me.

~*~

I’ve never come so close, I’ve never worn so thin
I’m stepping out instead of closing in
I left myself behind when I made up my mind
No turning back this time, this is my new design…

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Just Another Burnt-Out Bulb

I scraped my knees while I was praying
And found a demon in my safest haven, seems like
It’s getting harder to believe in anything
Then just to get lost in all my selfish thoughts…

~*~

There’s a free fall all the way to tragedy’s scene

Another shortcut straight to mending back hell

But the doors don’t work, and I’m stuck in between

Reaching for the coin I lost at the bottom of the well

Perfection was your pride, and I turned the lights off

So I couldn’t see the mess we’ve done, the damage cost

The worst part wasn’t the scream, I didn’t know whose

But when I realised that I lost the only thing I have to lose.

~*~

I wanna know what it’d be like
To find perfection in my pride
To see nothing in the light
I’ll turn it off in all my spite…

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she’s been waiting for the train with a bus ticket in her pocket.

She built a world with her own two hands
Well just give that a thought
And she don’t ever want to make no plans
‘Cause she don’t go outside no more…

~*~

she hasn’t had her medication yet

and she already fell in love with the relentless rain

they all told her she was a crazy pain

as she hung herself upside-down on the crooked rafters

searching for another heart to surrender

but she didn’t find any, no

as all the blood rushed inside her head

and turned her frail lips a deep red

she won’t kiss anyone with a mouth that dirty

until she wipes it off along with her glittering lipstick

and told her mama that she’s sorry

but that won’t be enough.

as of now, the train station is empty

and everyone has left in pursuit of a better life

but she’s still ripping threads off her timeworn dress

and reading profane graffiti out loud

and making her own in the chipped benches

waiting for a vehicle that never arrives

to take her into an unknown destination, for the bad and the better

rendered frozen as time moves on around her.

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bubblegum heart

bubblegum heart

popping again

sweet to the bone

until it tastes bland

like a bitter stone

.

bubblegum heart

stretch me out

sugar against enamel

chew out the pink

and blow me up

.

bubblegum heart

are your jaws getting tired?

of all the senseless natter

wasted efforts partaken

over such a saccharine matter

.

bubblegum heart

i’ll get stuck in your teeth

you can stick me under your desk

but you won’t get rid of

the nasty cavities.

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disembodied

every breath

feels like a

paralysing stab

in my lungs

my veins are

as tense and as

abraded as worn

ladder rungs

i strive to

maintain and

suffice such a

liquid composure

but instead i

submerge in the

depths of my

arrogant inures

as the dread draws

blood from my

starving idle heart

and the sense in

meaninglessness

starts to depart

i feel so splintered

i may as well be

anyone else but me

but when i exhale

in a shudder of pins

and needles, i find

myself still stuck

in this body.

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silly songs

nursery rhymes

on constant repeat

i’ve memorised the lines

between my teeth

and a pacified child

engrossed by cartoons

the ditties stuck in my head

won’t go away soon.

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