Tag Archives: stupid

Imbecile

This foolish brain

That can’t contain

What’s less of more

Or more than pain

I could pretend

I’m a taste of clever

But that’s just a lie

And I know better

Than to convince

What’s worth a damn

I’m not a snowflake

Just a bland human

Living a grey life

In zeroed nothings

A cross on my brain

I’ll never be anything

Thought I had a chance

But the mess is too great

Thought I can be me

But that’s just a mistake

‘Cause let’s be honest

Who am I to kid?

Deep down, I know

I’m just fucking stupid.

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subconscious

stupid

brain

why do

you have

to be so

viciously

human?

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Guess Everyone’s Over Feeling Fantastic

For the past couple weeks I’ve felt kind of great
But this kind of great don’t come without its share of grey
I’ve been chewing off bites from my day to day
But by night I’m left with nothing but a sour taste…

~*~

It’s not that you’re mesmerising

Just the natural shade of blue

Your eyes are rainy comforting

You’re my cloudy day in June

And I’m always counting off

Seconds over your quaint smile

And I will get to a million one

Before you can find out why

So don’t pretend to understand

I’ll stop cheating when you’ll sing

About the grey sunflowers sour

Replaying once again and again

They say I’m stupid for the doses

That dazed the growing crisis in me

Drink up and take it more serious

Like it’s the useless type of surgery

It’s not like you are everything

You’re just my natural shade of pink

I’m gloomy and my chest is stormy

But you’re the feeling I don’t have to think.

~*~

I wish I could forget you, but it’s out of hand
I’d give all kinds of something to have a plan
I could write a couple lines that’d fall into a phrase
But I’m afraid I’d go off for days and days and days and days…

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killjoy

Every minute that you scream
Before the errant scars
And the dying stars

Every second that you take
To fake your life…

~*~

smile it out

and feel the pain

another word

to your disdain

you stupid kid

who wants to hear

about your aches

about your fears?

so stick it out

and feel their joy

you’re just a tool

you’re just a toy

take the blame

avoid the conflict

your wretched name

is never worth it

did they buy the act?

another great dare

you could be truthful

but who would care?

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i heard he thinks he’s a god

I’m not looking for a savior, I have all that I need
And I don’t give a single fuck if god likes it or not
Your picture perfect legacy is quite so fucking disgusting
I put all my faith in your “one two three…”

~*~

your words are clean

but your mouth is dirty

and you have constipation

from your own numskull

if you’re so high, why are

your wings nonexistent

is it because you just need

to trample on the rest of us?

if you’re so heavenly, then

i’m prepared to go to hell

and congratulate the damned

for escaping your bullshit

‘cause if you think you’re all that,

then why don’t you go jack off

to the beat of your own chaste

fucking self-righteousness?

~*~

Be careful what you wish for
You just might get it
Set fire to your lungs and leave you
Choking on the ashes
You’re wasting all the oxygen
Blackballing but you can’t stop falling…

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A Happy Kind Of High

I know that there’s no dealing
With the way I’m feeling
I’m so out of touch with everyone 
And everything’s a blur to me…

~*~

I’m super high on happy

The dopamine nearly kills me

Bouncing like an excited puppy

Smiling wears me all the way to revelry

Slightly crazy, mostly high

But right now I’m too stupid to die

I may have ditched the walk to town

But playing sour notes won’t get me down

I could talk about love all day

But don’t get me wrong, ‘cause it’s easier to say

Than to complain about my cold coffee

The sugar tastes sweet, laughing over candy

I’ll never be royal and I don’t wish for gold

But I just don’t want to do as I’m told

I might have missed another point

But keep your eyes off me until you appoint

Life in blue and colour-coded pastel

The empty picture frames I have can go to hell

I may be tired, but there ain’t nothing to it

And I won’t stare and quietly sit

Because I love songs that scream, songs that dream

Songs with titles ripping at the cover’s seams

I love songs that I can dance to at the top of my lungs

And songs that don’t make any sense, I won’t leave them unsung

Made in America, from Houston to California

A wild party in Baltimore, childish theme parks in Florida

From Australia to England, each road and tour a trip

For each minute I walk and listen, ain’t anything I’d skip

I’m dizzy and frisky on this unfamiliar feeling

My hands raised in devil signs, my feet touching the ceiling

I’m confused, almost passing out from hysteric serotonin

But still I want more, enough to take me all the way to heaven

I’m super high on happy, and I will write a million words

About my eccentric thoughts in this square-cut world

Because I may be sad all the time, but that doesn’t mean

That I’m not allowed to have fun, and in the rarest times that I do

It’s more than what I need to carry on and crave life again.

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dumb dreamer

the truth is

i don’t really

want to die

just yet

because

somehow, i’m

still stupid

enough to hope.

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running mouths

you don’t know

just how difficult it is

and how much

i fucking try

because it’s much

harder to stay clean

than it is to relapse

but i thought i could

with every faith i’ve got

i fervidly believed i could…

until your snide remarks

threw every effort

every restraint, and

every chance i have to

change my ways

all out the damn window

insensitive callous cunt

you think it’s all in good fun?

well, it fucking hurt me

worse than the blade ever did

and if that’s your sense of humour

you’re just fucking sick

and now you ask me

what’s wrong

as if it wasn’t your fault

that i’m this way now

and that my breakdowns

got a little bit too loud

i’m sorry, am i disturbing you?

how inconsiderate of me

i’ll try to keep it down

you ask me if i need

medication, or counseling

why? so other people could

clean up the mess that

you fucking made?

i’d take up on your offer

but i’m too busy trying to

contain my relentless shivering

and begging myself

not to do this to myself anymore

and i’m trying to convince

myself not to die right now

so it would really be best

if you just left there and then

and wallow in your own ignorance

because there’s nothing else

you can do for me

unless you want to exacerbate

the fucking damage, then

in which case, please

fucking go, and have at it

and don’t hold back this time

you’re welcome to give

me a reason to continue this

or just stop everything permanently

but just as i’m calming down

and picking up the pieces

of the fucking mess i am, i hear

you gossiping upstairs

shamelessly, bitching out

to fellow ears as incredibly shallow

and as stupid as yours

as if that would ameliorate shit

you want to make things better now?

well you fucking can’t

get that through your thick skull

and your overly-inflated ego

and just fuck off back to legoland

in your happy little place

of neurotypical munchkins

that don’t cry for no reason at all

that don’t hurt themselves

that could stop being depressed

when you want them to

when you tell them to stop

it’s such a shame that you

just had to ruin what could be the

beginning of a clean slate

ending it with a tactless joke

you just had to set loose past your

reviling, inconsiderate tongue

and what sickens me the most

is how true it all is

how this fucked-up family

does indeed make me slit my wrists

you want me to live up

to your alecky bullshit chides?

fine. i’ll fucking do it

it’s easier for me anyways

if it’s what you want, it’s what i need

and shit, how can i even complain?

after all, you goddamn well know what’s best.

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sho[o]t

i’m quite stupid

for thinking that

i can do this at all

i’m not that clever

i don’t reckon if i

have a shot at this

or i’m doing it just

so it would be over.

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Cyborg & AI

It is weird to admit that I do kind of miss it

Your condescensions, intricate conspiracies

Melodramatic tendencies and odd severities

Shouting matches in the middle of the street

.

Your foolish theories and proud NEET texts

Even your strange and undefinable complex

Of accepting yourself in your “human shell”

Oh, and it does feel nice being taller as well

.

You spout all kinds of nonsenses irrelevance

So much that it actually starts to make sense

Sardonic bites, acerbic banter you say is wit

But we’re both talking a bit short full of shit

.

Your indecisiveness that nearly ran you over

You’ll be reincarnated as life, and I Death Jr.

Bizarre beliefs regarding death and universe

Me giving up and telling you, go write a book

.

It’s all part of acceptance, straight from denials

Which is crap, but now I’ll laugh and surrender

This conversation has been okay, preemptively

Well, until you hit my kill switch again, shorty.

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