Alright, you had your turn
At the spotlight microphone
Yelling names down my ears
For the whole crowd to hear
But now it’s my fucking turn
And you better listen up then
‘Cause I’m about to burn me
Worse than I have ever been
Since everyone’s out to slay
My nasty reputation anyway
I’ll do you (and me) a favour
I’ll roast myself in full colour
So don’t you wish I was dead?
But join the club, it’s growing
Tons more waiting to sign up
And I’m the goddamn president
Because I’m a jerk, a selfish dick
Jerking off like a worthless prick
I never make amends, never work
Get busy on excuses until I choke
I don’t improve, though I degrade
Fuck humanity, screw my grades
It’s my fault I’m an underacheiver
Never reaching my true potential
And I have problems, I complain
But no one wants to hear a thing
They also got crap to deal with
Got no time for whiny bullshit
My attitude gets on their nerves
Who is this loser and his verve?
An attention-seeking infamy slut
Rebellious, stubborn, fucking nuts
Thinking that I did everyone wrong
So I cut off all the communications
It’s all I can do, it’s easier that way
Who wants to live with me anyway?
Because I’m simply damn egotistic
Anxious, narcissistic, so apathetic
I’m depressed, but I can go suck it
Eat my own shit, it’s just pathetic
I’m not so special, I’m not anyone
And I’m just another stupid human
Being cynical, rotting in this reality
Say we’ll die anyway, why be sorry?
And I never think that I’m enough
No self-esteem to even cover me up
Insecurities too deep it never heals
Stifling myself down on how I feel
I’m a chronic liar, two-faced bastard
Performances deserving of an award
I cheat, I steal, I loathe, I’m jealous
Moralities fucked, it’s overzealous
In the end, I’m all talk but no bite
I’m all blind punches but no fight
I’m all write, don’t say what I mean
Sucking on empty hope and dreams
I’m always so harmful and noxious
Think I’m cool but really obnoxious
Hurting the only ones tolerating me
Pushing away all friends and family
And I don’t care for my own being
Even in the sake of any other doing
The fact I’m even writing all of this
Shows how much garbage I could be
I mocked and pissed at myself now
Still I feel it’s inadequate somehow
I’ve got a million profanities to give
And a million more why I shan’t live
But I’ll never change for the better
I simply push my head underwater
Wallowing in such a wretched state
Suffering is grand, it’s fucking great
I’m never alright, and I’ll never be
And the worst part is this self-pity
It’s disgusting, repulsive yet I take
Swallow down every dumb mistake
Never apologetic, always insincere
I’m such a faker, so crucify me here
It’s just another sin up the final tally
I don’t mind, go ahead and blame me
‘Cause I get it, I do, it’s into the ground
Why no one even wants to stick around
Because I’m just a miserable piece of shit
And if I’m this way, then yeah, I deserve it.
A Lost Painting