hold, hold, hold
hold, hold, hold
Spare a few seconds to bring my soul back to life
I’ll take the time to grasp onto your slippery thoughts
Go cry me a river, we’ll save it for next summer
For now, we’ll sleep in hazy hemispheres that skies forgot
Will this be more than a yawning afternoon soapbox love?
There’s no reason to believe if the whole world’s watching
I guess there’s something in your face, the way your smiles fall short
Beneath your callused fingertips, no such thing as a happy ending
Will a quiet embrace convince you to settle down and breathe?
Facsimiles of youth painted on dewdrops and plastic evergreen
If I really tried, can I find an oasis beneath the muddy puddles?
Should we pick up where we left off, or leave nothing but a dream?
Take a moment to set the scene; oh it’s fine, we’ll be here all night
From basement lights to firework flights, time’s shrinking with the tides
That touched our gentle skins and left bruises for strangers to count
For now, we’ll laugh like nothing matters, we have the weather on our side.
fending away the flies
in this miserable heat
seconds spin sluggishly
routine feels discrete
finding a final flight
in the middle of a beat
minutes missing endlessly
routines fast deplete.
how is your voice so incredibly exquisite?
i wish i could keep it—i wish i could keep it all for myself but i know that’s just a dumb dollar-store daydream now. i swear i’m not senselessly selfish but i couldn’t help all these hysterical feelings, fleeting and fumbled, collapsing and careening, swelling and spilling beyond my exhausted arms but i’m not tired of you yet; though every unsolved puzzle piece i propose to pick out is so pleasantly problematic.
you’re so weird, but i like that.
maybe it’s just blunt deception soon dropping dead to distance. maybe we’re both meant for nothing more than a peck on the cheek and passive-aggressive complacency. maybe i’m the popsicle puddle melting forever in your sweetest summer sadness—but i won’t be watered down. and i won’t hold you back. if you’d just wait a little bit longer, then maybe will turn into…
and i’ll be the one singing for you, this time. and you could keep it. you could keep it all for yourself. i won’t mind, i promise. it’s always been yours.
because—dearest applebee, you’re just so;
you’re just too incredibly exquisite.
A van packed with people
For a road trip in the dark
Spiraling with laughter and
Going around missing marks
Excursions set to weird luck
Trying to chase away the heat
And the languor creeping in
Won’t let this vacation be beat
Kicked up sand on gritty feet
Sudden blackouts set the scene
Chill as water, lips taste salty
Splash and splutter, call it mean
Kill the calm and the crowd
Noise on stereo, sodium glitter
Keep the stars and insanity
Smile for a picture underwater
Impulsive plans laid to stake
But we’ll keep faith under the moon
Home’s still a distant memory
And morning cannot come too soon
For a weekend settling tempers
A quick ocean swim to cool it down
Before the sun turns to shadows
And chaotic daylight comes around.
11:15 PM, 04.12.19.
how you used to have
a place in my
but i’m so forgetful
and the shades
away to a dull grey
like it’s a static
turned off to
a lost radio station
and you knew,
um, i can’t recall it
all i know is that
i’m fucked up
i fucked up
i fucked it all up.
and i ruined
we had going on
in that warm
where you made
sense, and i
and the music wasn’t
bad and flat like
a can of unopened
now nothing will ever
be the same again.
i wonder much.
i wandered too much.
my head hurts.
everything hurts now.
but my thoughts
are so numb
and i’m starting to
who are you?
face the sun, and i’ll keep the rain
well, it’s been a long time coming now
this summertime taste of faintest petrichor
and childishly reminiscing faded epochs
mind not the cold fever and stranger looks
i will dance to rhythms of our favourite songs
flumes washing away the plastic headaches
and these constant tremors shaking my hands
like quiet earthquakes—the crevices in between
falling into my thoughts, breaking out from
lukewarm routine and tepid temperatures
crashing down hazily into sluggish endeavours
but i won’t melt away into a puddle just yet
i’ll go pick up your sunshine from the ground
and we can slip away into pastel phantasms
where i’ll be sure to keep your laughter safe and sound.
This March, I wish for miracles
For muted sunsets with more meaning
For smudged sunscreen and summer sweetness
For neon melodies and sparklers exploding
In a myriad riot of excited celebrations
From late night kisses and senseless stars
And another birthday without a haze of blues
Feeling the warmth of home from afar
When I no longer chase for sprained daydreams
Because you were right there all along
To be my cause, my cure, my counterpart
To be my reason to write better songs
So I’ll rest in idyllic afternoons of yellow
Under the shade of softly-swaying palm trees
Wind rustling my hair, smile in my teeth
As all of my worries momentarily cease
For every catastrophe, for every cosmic lie
For every sugarcoated scheme, sweeter than a sigh
For every clever credence, for every convalescence
For every severed space where nothing else makes sense
This March, I wish for miracles
For messes and madness with more meaning
This March, I wish, I hope, I miss, I will go
Follow everything I love and know, and maybe I’ll keep my soul singing.