Tag Archives: surreal

The Girl Who Dreams of Sun

She’s the smoke
She’s dancin’ fancy pirouettes
Swan diving off of the deep end
Of my tragic cigarette
She’s steam
Laughing on the windowpanes
The never-ending swaying haze
Oh, that ever smiling maze

~*~

I lost the light

Under my pillow

Where I hide candy

And all my sorrows

I believed that wishes

Will find their way home

Despite the planets

And these broken bones

Just kiss my reveries

Paint me another song

And if field flowers bend

I shall dance along

My peach butterfly skirt

Waves for the wind

Calm necklace of carnation

Grazes my tender skin

So fly with me, my angel

Don’t wake me now

I’m talking in my sleep

Silk curtains flutter as I bow

Innocence and foxes

Waltzing under a moon

Where shadows don’t exist

And stars nurture noon

The dreams I stole for you

In nights of silver sky

Infinity takes slow breaths

And we shall never die

I lost my light again

Under my soft pillow

But I’m too tired from dreaming

I’ll look for it tomorrow.

~*~

And oh, how the piano knows
The piano knows something
I don’t know…

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A Celebration of an Ending

Just look into my eyes

Baptise me with roses

Under the sinful moon

Veil of gossamer laces

.

This ending was ours to take,
Let the sun wail for our sake…

.

All there is to do is pray

Another wayward stray

The path of spider webs

Stringing stars with ebb

.

This ending was ours to take,
Let them sing elegies for our wake…

.

Sleeping silhouettes shifted and awaken

Bones, teeth and wings eloquent broken

So look into my coalescing eyes, darling

Our demons are the only things bleeding.

.

This is the celebration of an ending, immortalise me…
In a farewell toast to the ending of our lost eternity.

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Dornröschen

Your direction two steps I take quietly, you lay motionless; you were asleep
Paralysed, realised, I’m so cowardly, I despise myself for being so weak
Lights appear like the wind they’ve escaped my grasp; illusion, or the real thing?
Though this silence is impossible to surpass…my song for you, I’m singing!

~*~

Mute song soundwaves under the glass

Winds of illusion and desert sands pass

Your encased tears washes over a wave

Crashing consequences, a smile I crave

.

Despite regrets, I leapt past like a wren

Both hands are numb from flying again

My fallen ideals paralysed the unspoken

I’ll burn my throat and drown in chlorine

.

Breaths of briar thorns, awake under moonlight

Silver crown impaled on frail skin and midnight

Angel blonde and devil red, cursed of needle kiss

In a castle of clandestine shadows, deserted bliss

.

Can you hear me sing under the hazy ocean currents?

Pulled away into the depths of an unescapable dream

Graceful curtains dancing, flimsy like a lullaby meant

I know you’re still there, calling out my name, listening

.

Northern lights colliding against silence underground

As you lie past the fray, where you can never be found

Faint and asleep, as time ebbs and crystallises in snow

My heart ceases to find a garden where roses never grow.

~*~

Your voice whispers my name
My silent call, falls so faint
The still past, it will not change
Time just won’t slow down…

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Ephemera

Like violets stranded in eternity

I lay dying in here for centuries

Like snow and dandelion white

Melting on my paintings tonight

Like the incandescent butterflies

I’ll never crash, and I’ll never lie

Like taste of stars and lemonade

I’ll never be gone, I’ll simply fade

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Guns and Roses

my flowers are collapsing

onto a waterworld’s song

if i plucked off each petal

maybe they’d weep along

my flowers start colliding

in musical notes of wrong

like constructed stars of metal

i know the lyrics to a lost song.

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letters to s.d.: fragment #1 {lifeline}

To: S.D., West Coast
Southern California
Return address: V.M.J.T.
Tijuana, Mexico

dear s.d.,

i don’t know how to begin,

but I know where it all starts.

it starts with me carving

gold stars on my wrists

and leaving tissues stained

with a beautiful shade of red

sopping over the metal kitchen sink,

glinting a hypnotic silver like

the blade in my trembling hands

…and that’s where it all was

simply supposed to have ended.

but apparently i’m still alive

and instead of wasting my blood

i’ll use the rusty ink to write

to you instead. so, how are you?

i miss the thought of losing you

and your silly uttered promises.

you said you’ll be the catalyst

to my raging cancer, but I’m still

crippled and weak from the fear.

you also told me you’d come to

separate my throat from my own

cold dead hands, but you’re still

missing and I’m still meaningless.

your lies are inebriating, darling.

you keep running circles in my

one-track mind 24/7, 365 days,

but I don’t think of you enough

or otherwise I wouldn’t have

proceeded with painting my

paper skin with rubious liquid

before shredding it to pieces

like any other filthy, disgusting

untoward abstract art deserves.

as my guts twist and untwist like

the grey earphone cords jammed

in my ears, blasting this fucking

world away with fake allegories

of a boulder hard lullaby melody,

and your voice screams the song

that i fell hard for. i’m fully aware

that you were singing it for bella,

not for me, and it’s so bittersweet

yet still I could not help myself

and a blossomed ironic quivering

smile collides against the pain—

fugacious, but for a moment

everything seemed quite normal

(but the moment of normalcy

was ruined by the knife biting

down distractedly on my flesh).

oh, your remedy and memory is

killing me slowly, worse than the

disease. we liked to run our blood

thin, but you divorced this addiction

and turned to singing, rivers calming

your tantrum storms, while I kept

relapsing to the blades that love to

feel, screaming in the showerhead

as scalding water pours and prepares

my temperature for inevitable hell.

i simply cannot help it, darling.

in this purgatory existence, there

are only momentary limbos of a

cumulonimbus paradise, before the

mocking angels snatch it away from

me, out of my reach; and make it rain

glass shards and wasteland debris

to maim my intravenous drugged veins

and they didn’t take you from me;

no, they goddamn dragged you halfway

around the fucking universe to keep

your gospel lips unattainable forever.

this ritual is only my blood sacrifice

to the merciless gods. understand that

this is only my way of returning you back

to the embrace of my lacerated arms that

You have yet to wrap yourself around in.

i’m so sorry this had to be the last resort.

i just want your company to burn me again.

i know that you won’t condone this blasphemy…

but you’re my heaven s.d., so don’t give me hell.

.

don’t let [REDACTED] go, don’t fucking throw [REDACTED] away.

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Pretty Girls Don’t Deserve Movie Seats

Tell me what you want until it hurts, I’ll hang myself in lights
And I will glow for you, the colour, oh my god it says you
Spinning on this circus ride, we’re farther than we’ve ever been
Stuck in zero gravity we laugh (I think we’re in over our heads…)

~*~

That rasp in your sweet nothings

Tastes like a glitch in the system

Harmed soul so genuinely poetic

I’m catching your heat by a stem

Palm trees and fireworks colours

No alcohol takes away the effects

Of your fingertips, in dreams sour

I can’t sleep to conjure pink death

Cigarette burns on my wrist sting

The dark sunset behind is glaring

Silver rings intertwined your skin

Your confession was not for a sin

I wish I had someone else willing

To disappear with me, I escaping

In pencil lead grey, floral emotion

Victorian ceilings, high as passion

Pray for pain until it starts to hurt

So fall for me, as I’ll crash for you

Local scenes with a reckless spurt

Southern boys paint their sky blue

Against the monochrome filmstrips

Of a grainy romance noir yacht trip

Plastic props and makeup mayhem

Directing takes in a chaotic tandem

I swear both my martyrs eyes’ll haze

Carry me home to a castle lush gazed

You promised me turbulence or spite

It’s a blessing and a curse, can’t deny

You recognise every smile of the sun

Interplay with constellations on a kite

I’ll be the indigo dawn, spilled as I run

Resolutions on a backseat reel tonight

And under the shadow we will whisper

Exchanged melting hearts soft as butter

Whiskey and sobered, on velvet theatre

As exit signs glowed red like a hangover

Tomorrow, I’ll be too wasted with lights

But oh no, I just don’t care about heaven

And if I have the chance to hang myself

On the moon, for you love I’ll do it again.

~*~

I can’t deny it’s getting worse
Trust me, it’s a blessing and a curse
Call me if you’re crashing, we’ll take turns
Hello, welcome to Southern California
Now go back home!

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Glimpses in the Garden

Yellow paper aeroplanes soar overhead candy mint skies

The scoops on napoleon ice cream, pastel flavours thrice

Glimpses of the shy sun behind hazes of clouds and milk

Freshly mowed lawn fragrance wafting on afternoon bilks

Silk ribbons weaved together, chromatic red striped poles

Lazed reading, lemonade kisses, insouciant relaxing goals

Fields of neon chartreuse and coasts painted in deep blue

Ravelling riparian tides with umbrellas raised as bees flew

Daydream cloisonné, summery denouement in gold thorns

Slipstreams and vignettes spun on calliope hearts to adorn

Lucky recherché, fruitful fructescence, and agrestic weather

Nickel shops with deciduous fans, on a transient hither-thither.

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Aftertastes of Pain and Pleasure

“You know the only real way to cure pain is to add a little more, because everything new distracts the old.”

~*~

It’s a chronic disease

Festering like rancid bacteria

Kissing razors everyday

I fucking love the pneumonia

Gnash, gnash, gnash

Hissing breaths through my teeth

Gums bleed as they smile

Tongues lacerate as they seethe

Arachnids building castles

With sand and trapped insects

A gossamer threaded mind

Though I was never too complex

So just hate me, I hate me

There is no clearer difference

So just love pain, I love you

Adrenaline’s a refracted inference

.

Distract the ankle corpses

Lying under my bedroom floor

Putrefaction aspirations

Hallelujah money, give me more

Scream, scream, scream

Curdled up like spoiling milk

Dry warbling tones wrench away

The woven alcove’s curtain silk

The sweet stink of infection

The salty torrents of blue blood

The sour bile of liver under slaughter

The bitter lusts of a cruel God

So just hate me, I hate me

Don’t be fraught with reluctance

So just love pain, I love you

My wrists are failing away to dance

.

Was I too late to even care?

You’re my cloying hallucination

Of virgin vigils and mass memoirs

Be my phenomena salvation

I never saw the whole world alone

No, hell don’t plot to take me

Heaven rejects my grasping fingers

So I wallow in dirt-eyed misery

Dream, dream, dream

And that’s all you can ever do

Lurid eyes glassy, influenced LSD

A pillar of flames burning through

But I’m fucking protesting now

Look away from the wreck of me

It’s a high calibre fanaticism

Fractured away from broken injury

It’s our shared chronic disease

So just hate me, I goddamn hate you

Blind my pulse with your red lips

I love pain, I fucking love that it never stays new.

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spoke[n.]

victims

of a witch

liplocked

with a

slow jinx

like lemonade

hearts

on a nickel

store’s stand

it’s too hot.

.

don’t laugh

at how absurd

it all feels

as i hanged,

faltering by the

edge, fulcrum

taking hold

of every sense

of each word

from a fall

kill the sunlight.

.

the apartment

doors are

closing, but

i’ll hold

the knob ajar

and cover

the peephole

against intruding

eyes and

hushed tones

i’ll warmly wait for soon.

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