Tag Archives: surrender

Rhyme and Reason

I’m a stray for blue boys and a songheart for little bo-peeps.

I wish I didn’t exist in dusty novels and forgotten storybooks the way that your obscene breath does, the way that your dreamscape wings fall off into ashes, the way that you simply do. Always in the ways that I couldn’t.

I despise myself for being a complete upside-down fool, madly limerent for this fiasco of a game that I’ve lost the moment before it even started, violently surrendered and beaten blonde and black to the point where I start doubting myself in bitter gunshots and giving my sweet bullets all up just so I could be your unsigned scarlet letter.

Do you understand me? Because I don’t.

I wish I would have written a hundred synesthetic postcards left unsent, but all I have are these hundred meretricious words to tell you what you don’t know. What you won’t know. And what you never will.

Stay lost, blue boy. Or you’ll end up like me.

Leave a comment

Filed under Prose

six days of a kingdom’s downfall; excluding the sabbatical

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Calvary choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can’t explain
I know Saint Peter won’t call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world…

~*~

i.

a carnation affectation

a wilted dahlia efflorescent

in the temple about to fall—

ii.

redemption in the fray

a sovereign right surrendered

a prayer lost to the demons.

iii.

who would i be if i failed

these chevalier discrepancies

and gave to defeat my all?

iv.

‘tis nothing but a feint allusion

a fiery sleight of hand with which

even archangels cannot summon…

v.

night cries; a knight is interred,

remains scattered to eventide mourn

and ashes buried under dungeons.

vi.

baleful messengers cease to return

as the crown is abandoned in rusted thrones

towers and castles—and a legacy long gone.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Does The City Sleep If Everyone’s Awake?

Drop every pretense, drown every sense you own
For the girl that you love, girl you loathe
Insistent pretext, so what does that make god?
To the girl that you love, girl you loathe…

~*~

Follow home the darkness in the midst of distorted lies

A bellicose pretence that overshadows the most jaded of eyes

Entering, surrendering the only control left to be held back

Indignant morose affability surreptitiously painted black

.

For the girl that you love left her heart in the shadows

She’s keeping it there locked tight and burning the evidence

And the boy of your dreams has a nightmare in his head

He keeps a musket under his pillow for such a circumstance

.

Secrets dripping at the tip of their tongue, are you getting tired

Ain’t it so pretty, the way their drunken minds are wired?

The curtain’s coming down, but the burlesque act continues

And the naked audience and all the masked actors are in on the ruse

.

The flickering streetlamps may not last until the end of sunset

And you may have lost your empty wallet stumbling in a cabaret

Taking profound philosophies from barkeeps, pouring another drink

Don’t know if that sleaze three tables over winked or just blinked

.

Follow home the oncoming intrusion of light in the haze of inebriation

An avaricious pretence that promptly overpowers any realistic temptation

Surrendering the only control that wasn’t there to hold back in the first place

Coruscating affiliations underhandedly leaving hearts without a single trace.

~*~

The girl that you love, girl that you love
Girl that you love knows you don’t
Followed her, followed her
Followed her, followed her home…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

It All Falls Apart

I wish I could, but I don’t always
Keep the promises I’ve kept
I wish I could, but I can’t always
Give whatever I have left
And now it’s all so clear, doesn’t anyone
See what’s happening here?

~*~

Put me back together, just another plea unheard

Walking away from tragedy, walking with the truth

For elastic tongues can deceive us no longer

Collapsing narcolepsy is a premise for the fervour

.

Time had a deadline, and we’re not built to last

Every time I look back is just a bullet from the past

Reminded of the way it was before the war began

And ended with waste and sorrow, and a broken man

.

The space, the divide, the disconnected furrows

This time as we fired the shots, we made sure to be thorough

Didn’t give me a choice, just a white flag to surrender

Shouting seventh chances from another graceless pretender

.

What could I have done? What would you choose?

I was so ready to give it up, though I didn’t want to lose

What was there to take? Was there anything to fix?

I was paying for my dirty crime with capricious tricks

.

Everything I am, reduced now to what I once was

Blood on my words and on my hands, unremarkable and crass

What can’t be forgiven now lays in a grave so shallow

Who knew that when everything falls apart, it leaves a scar so hollow.

~*~

It falls apart form the very start, it falls apart
Seems like everything I touch falls apart
Everything around me falls apart
When I walk away from you…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

she’s been waiting for the train with a bus ticket in her pocket.

She built a world with her own two hands
Well just give that a thought
And she don’t ever want to make no plans
‘Cause she don’t go outside no more…

~*~

she hasn’t had her medication yet

and she already fell in love with the relentless rain

they all told her she was a crazy pain

as she hung herself upside-down on the crooked rafters

searching for another heart to surrender

but she didn’t find any, no

as all the blood rushed inside her head

and turned her frail lips a deep red

she won’t kiss anyone with a mouth that dirty

until she wipes it off along with her glittering lipstick

and told her mama that she’s sorry

but that won’t be enough.

as of now, the train station is empty

and everyone has left in pursuit of a better life

but she’s still ripping threads off her timeworn dress

and reading profane graffiti out loud

and making her own in the chipped benches

waiting for a vehicle that never arrives

to take her into an unknown destination, for the bad and the better

rendered frozen as time moves on around her.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

lungs burned in liquor

Like a rush shot through you
Everyone is watching you…
Told you why I see no need for the sun
(I’ve found a reason to say)
A love you light is a love soon gone…

~*~

a rush of blood

under falling skin

serenade confessions

kissing chlorine

gift shop grenades

vertigo weaving clarity

mirror wounds

bleed out my vanity

so tell me again

my heartless lover

lips of rose and needles

an ornamented endeavour

feathers stir past the sea

cloudy sulphur halos

candle-lit reveries

drowned in pools shallow

perhaps this world is

better off without

a trace of vertical stripes

incarcerating doubts

flags of pure surrender

scarlet against satin

i’m dissecting dead stars

a lost name set in latin

my platinum eyes

scratched the vinyl record

sentimental titanium

wrapped in unravelled cords

a rush of oxygen

under decaying lungs

a promenade desperation

touching gasoline.

~*~

If this is it
Don’t bother ’cause this love is a lie
I’m a chemical kid
You’re a mechanical bride…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

A Faltering Song

‘Cause I would rather spend my life
Vacations in bed with you
Li
ke drunken summer kites
And this is only a test!
S
ober and scaring me to death…

~*~

Say there’s been a mistake

I’m not falling under the sanctity

And separating my surrender

From poise of inevitability

I’ll never let the sirens tire

Screaming for my name in gold

Underwater over fire

Losing infinity against their hold

I have no right to be jaded

By your tireless serenade

If my skeletal past consumes me

I’ll be digging my own grave

I’m simply disoriented

Dizzy and voyeuristic, set to burn

I’ll say a prayer for casualty

And I’ll circulate all of your concern

I’m addicted, you’re a gamble

I’ll lose the spare evidence

It’s visceral, but I’ll keep it here

You’re the only part that makes sense

I won’t ever let change hang around

You created the sleepless skies

Honestly, I’m barely sick

Please extinguish the southern nights

I’m attracted to liquid colours

To your spectrum of stereo and ash

If the day arrives that I can’t convince myself

Then my wasted world is set to collapse.

~*~

They’ll never take us alive
(Can you chase away the darkness?)
To live in love and die—!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Beasts, Burning, Bloodshed

I’m keeping the monsters warm

With my own blood and self-harm

They lick away every sedition

Ripping apart each single conniption

.

Teeth like carved metal tetanus

Dark with every slurring and cuss

As alcohol shuts down the bane

Intensifying the numb of the pain

.

Another fucking demon to encounter

My own control I couldn’t conquer

Sucking away all the shades and colour

Until all there is to do is surrender

.

Black roses thrive by the grave

Of just another nameless great escape

Damnation’s all there is to save

Again and again, my sanity is raped

.

The sulphur blister and brimstone bite

As solemn shadows devoured the night

Death decreases my chances to survive

But these feral beasts are keeping me alive.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

A Monarchial Compunction

There’s a unique regret, quite baroque and grand

The tainted sobriquet hewn amongst tallow lands

A coronation of florid fears with a golden diadem

From which articulate loathing, it chances to stem

There’s a unique remorse, robed in a finest regality

Of a poised inelegance, to smote upon their enemies

And when to it, you surrender your sovereign rights

May God save you, for it shall reign with all its might.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Fear in the Heart of the Beast

It’s senseless, isn’t it?

Chasing stars like this. A malevolent race of blood and starlight, dust and galaxy, radiance amid vespertine. The vulnerabilities I partake with reproachful glances and consternated sighs, as another concatenation languishes itself woefully from my tremulous velvet palms. All the unnecessary perplexities. Chatoyant winks. Recrudescent idiosyncrasies. Pyrrhic viciousness. It’s almost maddening, like pulling at a switch to turn on the dark. The desuetude of prayer, the imbrication of penitence against sin, the self-sustaining cycles of ultracrepidarianism against the gallimaufry voices, ridden with febricula and rallying beyond this pannychis, begging to be heard. Yet my solitary garrison quavers none, and left to my own devices, I arm myself against those shots in the midnight, forays into forests of violent crimes, heart hammering against my Adam’s apple so harshly that I am confident I may simply poke my tongue out and watch its scarlet palate throb. The fear, the intensity, the asperity of it all, finally taking its toll on me before I waned away my lurid admonition; my enemy was not those who wish me dead at their skins, it is I and this foolish quavering soul. The paroxysms of resentment and infinitesimal blinks and twitches of arrogant pain jolting through my spinal fluid, kneecaps shattering and popliteal sweating as I kneel forcibly, succumbing indignation and surrendering both hands to the efficacious reign of the nightmare, derisive silhouette shifting only ever smugly in its carved skeletal throne, positioned rightly upon a bejewelled vestibule. The requiem wails its bereft knell. One by one, the myriad astrology coruscates into wretched dimness. The universe has gone out. Only nonexistence, spilling with emptiness and triumphant in its ironic vitality, remains to be seen. The nightmare sneers. Too late.

And, at the very destruction and devastation of both my tantamount solidarity as well as the fabric of reality, at the amusing otiosity of it all, at the grandest scheme of this laughable redundancy, I can only wonder with a morbid rickety grin, unto what end shall it all lie?

Leave a comment

Filed under Prose