Tag Archives: survive

Aka no Sakura

It starts inside my head, let it course into my bones
I breathe recycled air just to feel like I’m not alone
So does it kill you now? Call it insincere
You took the worst way out and I’m still here…

~*~

A suicide note written in cherry-cola shade lipstick

Disconnected telephone still ringing in the backdoor

Sore bones cracking under the weight of the bed frame

An empty prescription bottle gathering flies on the floor

Faded picture frame with red-eyes and faces scratched out

Tawny overcoat hung down the tattered couch one last time

Blanched body on black tiles, twisted in grotesque abstraction

Is it too late to apologise for never surviving but always dying?

~*~

It’s too late, it’s too late
The ground’s breaking under me
I can’t breathe, I’m underneath
So go ahead and wish me hell ’cause
You’re the one who dragged me there, yeah
It’s too late to save today…

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Ash & Tongue

Ash is just a word, but why does it taste so ironically bitter in my mouth? Does it hurt to say it, because the conflagrating embers originated from my pharynx, tactlessly ignited after I accidentally swallowed phosphorous nitrate and it corroded against my sandpaper throat and set me on fire? Who would kiss a person with a mouth this filthy? Even the most affectionate of mothers turn their backs away from my chapped sooty lips, bleeding of halitosis and ashes and lies lies lies.

There it is, that word again, pulling my voice under hell and waking me up when I’m having the sweetest dream in my acerbic existence. The exit signs are glowing softly in delicate overtones, yet my bloodshot eyes perceive it as an uproarious neon scream, blinding my eyes, deafening my sight, blackening my vision. The water’s getting colder, I’m caught up in the rip, and my footing has slipped away. I’m swimming, no, drowning in the hazy fumes, dizzy from the medication-addled ozone, and still I could not hear a single truth amid all the false accusations.

He was a man until you destroyed him. You were a girl before I desecrated you, cautiously building you up brick by chalkdust brick, all the while as I’m hiding away the solitary intention of vulgarly demolishing the body that is your temple. And it was all too late for you when you found out. Did you survive all the devastation I caused and rose up from the rubble like a newly-reborn phoenix? Or have your devout worshipers fled the havoc and left you suffocating and buried under all the debris and ashes? Ash is just a name I used to call in my sleep, but why…why does it taste so painful between my teeth?

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Filed under Prose

live

you’ll dive

but survive

and darling,

you’ll thrive

you’re alive

i know that

you’re alright

while i’m not.

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Filed under Poetry

Let Go Of My Heart And We’ll Call It Quits

But you’re always out to get me…
You’re the snake hidden in my
Daffodils when I’m picking flowers
That’s just my luck these days
Why can’t you just be happy for me?

~*~

You’ve got the shallow nerve

To give me the cold shoulder

And just shake me off your spine

But I will be back when it’s all over

And love, you won’t be fine

‘Cause all the boys told me

That you were nothing but trouble

But I drank all my parting shots

And ordered a martini, double

So consider the headache a warning

A bad souvenir for the morning

Accidents will happen on ice

Your chest heaves from the lies

Your guilty thoughts come and go

But the mess you made says no

It’s a shame, what a damn shame

If everything was just in vain

You’re cute when you get protective

So arrogant and manipulative

Kill me on the inside, gold bar, flatline

Lovesick, cheap trick, swear you’ll be mine

Play it safe and join the fight

The carpet won’t shed out hate tonight

I’m smiling with insincere teeth

But baby, baby, you’re such a cheat

Maybe I’m just the bad guy

But can you say you’re a reason I die?

There used to be a finer devotion

But I lost you when I lost my emotion

If only you’d stop fucking around, honey

But I’m too numb to feel sorry

This game ain’t too bad, having fun yet?

It’ll end up being our death

So give me the permission to dig some dirt

Draw a line between to avoid hurt

So keep my brakes from working again

Count me in, and we’ll both be crashin’

Rejection’s such a bitch, trust can’t be trusted

An involvement of two hearts that lusted

You can’t survive the game if you play love bad

But resent me for trying, it’s all I ever had.

~*~

You’re the brake lights failing as
My car swerves off the freeway
It kind of feels like sabotage
Why can’t you just be happy for
Why can’t you just be happy for me?

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Beasts, Burning, Bloodshed

I’m keeping the monsters warm

With my own blood and self-harm

They lick away every sedition

Ripping apart each single conniption

.

Teeth like carved metal tetanus

Dark with every slurring and cuss

As alcohol shuts down the bane

Intensifying the numb of the pain

.

Another fucking demon to encounter

My own control I couldn’t conquer

Sucking away all the shades and colour

Until all there is to do is surrender

.

Black roses thrive by the grave

Of just another nameless great escape

Damnation’s all there is to save

Again and again, my sanity is raped

.

The sulphur blister and brimstone bite

As solemn shadows devoured the night

Death decreases my chances to survive

But these feral beasts are keeping me alive.

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Filed under Poetry

letters to s.d.: fragment #2 {inked}

vi[REDACTED]inc[REDACTED]te[REDACTED]

.

the tattoo of your name

embedded in the mutilated

skin of my arms, reminds

me of why i’m surviving

this wreckage of a war

they look at it like it’s dirty,

i’m besmirched with black

but it’s the only tether to reality

that keeps pulling me back.

.

to[REDACTED]rry [REDACTED]ime pre[REDACTED] mik[REDACTED]nte[REDACTED]

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Nameless Nemesis

The sticks and the stones that
You used to throw have
Built me an empire, so don’t even try
To cry me a river, ’cause I forgive you
You are the reason I still fight…

~*~

Wicked witch of the West

The egotistical red queen

Captain Hook, grimy pest

A slimy dream saccharine

.

The acrid poison you spit

Methanes on your tongue

The cold toxic you secrete

Shall be your bad outcome

.

On your charmless veneer

Tortured dark sensibilities

In distasteful doses of fear

A lost cause for humanities

.

You scar me and mar me

With penchant for defeat

Bore holes past my skull

Lay hellfire upon my feet

.

Degrade my capabilities

To reject my testimonies

You think you’re glorious

And quite sanctimonious

.

But your haunting words

Shall revert to your curse

Your reign upon the world

Will crumble and disperse

.

And I’ll be standing strong

Wayward heart and thorns

Raise a sword upon the air

Victory cheer ringing clear

.

Your armies of sticks, stones

Shall add to build my throne

My wounds, burnt-up bones

Shows I survived your scorn

.

Soon you’ll be homely crushed

Banished to a bleak underland

Devoured by ravenous reptiles

Vanish with a flick of the wand

.

But dear, no need to beg and grovel

A chagrin hapless irrefutable defeat

After all, your karma, it’s never well

You are the reason why I still believe.

~*~

So you can throw me to the wolves!
Tomorrow I will come back
Leader of the whole pack
Beat me black and blue!
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my throne.

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