Tag Archives: swallow

a family dinner in two parts

(i.)

i’m sorry that

i don’t act the way

i’m supposed to

that i couldn’t keep up

my play this time around

i’m sorry that i could

barely bring myself

to chew and swallow

because my stomach feels

like it’s choking on itself

i’m sorry for being

too weary and worn-out

not just because i lack sleep

but also because i’m tired

of trying to live again and again

i’d rather just end all this.

.

(ii.)

i’m sorry i can’t be

a part of your picture

perfect family, that

my smile never reaches

my jaded eyes, and it shows

in all the photographs

i’m sorry that my anxiety

is kicking in and badly

crippling my entire system

and i’m sorry you don’t

notice the unnerving mess that

i’ve been reduced to

and continue to yell at me

for being fucking ungrateful

i want to scream back

but it’s all i can do to stifle

my tears and clench my fists

to keep all the trauma in

i’d rather just end all this.

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Glass Shards Taste Sweeter Than Revenge

Cut off my wings and come lock me up
Just pull the plug yeah, I’ve had enough
Tear me to pieces, sell me for parts
You’re all vampires so here
You can have my heart…

~*~

you’re not worth

swallowing eggshells for

i wish i knew before i

digested all your bullshit

not everyone can spill

sunshine when they speak

and i’d rather die by my

own hand than your radiation

so take a fucking razor

and cut your palms open

just bleed the hell out

and drown all the demons

and pull yourself so far under

isn’t that what you always want?

don’t let the roses stop you

burn me out as you did

to those innocent paper towns

because i’m waterlogged anyway

you’ve no use for my pages

and yet you persist to write the

profanities and revilement

just to wipe condescension in

like your own twisted diary

i hope you’re happy now

from slashing my ankles simply

‘cause you got tired of this

if you can’t chase, no one can

honestly i’m glad you cut me off

though i may be crippled, at

least my conscience isn’t paralysed

my shame isn’t metastasised

i guess so long, goodnight, and

good goddamned riddance

hope you have fun stepping on

the glass shards i spit out for you.

~*~

So come rain on my parade, ’cause I wanna feel it
Come shove me over the edge ’cause my head is in overdrive
I’m sorry, but it’s too late and it’s not worth saving
So come rain on my parade, I think we’re doomed
I think we’re doomed, and now there is no way back…

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Swallowing Ghosts

Guess I’ll never know what I meant to you
This year’s been lonely but at least it’s through
I’ll write a letter to my former self
Dear sad ghost, why’d you put your heart on the shelf?

~*~

I got this far past my captivity only to disappear

Capturing the moments with a scratched mirror

Impropriety plucks my nerves like piano strings

But the song turns out to be of drunken kerosene

I didn’t need another affliction to weigh my abyss

Missing out in stilted fabrications and vixen trysts

The apparition pilfers me on a diamond glass heist

Mine vicarious propinquity was nothing but ire lies.

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Choking Hazard

I swallow the thought of you, but it never leaves past my throat

I choke on your lodged promises and throw up all over the floor

I slip clumsily on the mess that we made as my bloody veins tore

And that unfortunate fall was the main reason my asthenia broke.

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