Tag Archives: therapy

a mindless monologue

The blood, the blood, the blood of the lamb
Is worth two lions, but here I am
And I slept in last night’s clothes and tomorrow’s dreams
But they’re not quite what they seem…

~*~

i need some therapy

and a hundred seconds alone

i need room to breathe

and support from the bleed

i need to stay silent

and talk my problems out

find another friend to bother

and do nothing but joke around

i need to admit something’s wrong

that i can’t do this by myself

i need to keep myself going

and be just a little more strong

i need bitter medication

i don’t know why i stopped

guess i don’t want to be an addict

my brain feels fogged and rough

i need to hurt myself less

throw away my blades and insecurities

i don’t want to keep companions

and end up in a fit of jealousy

i need to absolve all my mistakes

to stop hurting the people around me

always on the brink of an apology

i need to stop being—and feeling—sorry

i need to channel my thoughts safer

but i just don’t have the skill or talent

i can’t make anyone any promises

and my future is scary and hellbent

i need to keep on dreaming

but not too much to drown in the tides

i need to stop worrying neurotically

about what’s what and the right of rights

i need to be me and more than this

i want to figure myself out before it’s too late

to be assured of myself, the things i can do

to provide myself with no more of hate

i know i can never undo the long-term damage

caused by my self-destructive ways

but i know that i could always be better

than what i think i deserve—i need to change.

~*~

I can move mountains
I can work a miracle, work a miracle
I’ll keep you like an oath
“May nothing but death do us part…”

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There’s Such a Word as Damnation, and I’ll be Your Role Model

Well you can hide a lot about yourself
But honey, what’re you gonna do?
And you can sleep in a coffin
But the past ain’t through with you
‘Cause we are all a bunch of liars
Tell me, baby, who do you wanna be?
And we are all about to sell it
‘Cause it’s tragic with a capital T…

~*~

We both promised, we both promised that we’ll be dead together

And watch the showering fireworks kill the sky at the end of November

We swallowed bullets in turn, hoping to spit them into diamonds

But we laughed too hard, spilled cheap champagne, choked on garrotes

.

We didn’t want, we didn’t want to hold hands all the way to suicide

We just wanted more than an automatic answering machine before we died

I disputed the grave, lights in nave, one more nightmare for you to save

But I walked away from the mausoleum doors, leaving all that I gave

.

So would you, so would you consider therapy even for a moment

For neurotics and martyrs and vagrants thinking they’re fucking heaven-sent

And dead Mary, quite contrary, I’ll be your lifeless little boy blue

Herding my sheep towards starved wolves, as if innocence was something new

.

And you’ll chant, and I chant, na na na now’s the time for all the killjoys

To wash the blood off their broken noses and scream until they break their voice

Collecting melancholy in notes of g and eyeliner verses of the apocalypse

Bruises and lipsticks melting together into a dangerous warpaint on their cheeks

.

One more time, one more time, let me listen to the prayers of the damned

I’m just another corpse decaying on the pew, preaching for predicament demand

And you’re the pastor that opened the stained chapel windows to let me in

We’re friends of hell, and I wish you well, thank you for welcoming all of my sins.

~*~

‘Cause we all wanna party when the funeral ends
And we all get together when we bury our friends
It’s been eight bitter years since I’ve been seeing your face
And you’re walking away, and I will die in this place…

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